Dessert Spoon Etiquette and History

Dessert spoon rules — Use dessert spoons alone when eating ice cream, pots de crème, and other soft desserts, holding the spoon in the right hand. A dessert fork and spoon are used together when 2 utensils are needed. It’s nearly always done in the Continental style, except this is done with a fork and spoon as opposed to a fork and knife. The fork is held in the left hand with tines facing down, and the spoon is held in the right hand. The fork is used to hold or keep a dessert in place as the spoon cuts off small bites. This works well with desserts such as Baked Alaska or certain types of cakes. An exception to this rule is pie or cake, à la mode. These are both eaten with a dessert fork and spoon. The spoon is used to cut and then place a bite of cake or pie and a bit of ice cream on the fork, which is held in the right hand and used to eat the dessert.

How a Spoon Caused Confusion and Insult

The etiquette of eating was formerly simpler, because the number of table implements was smaller. Sir Charles Murray (born In 1806) states in his “Reminiscences” that dessert spoons were unknown in the days of his youth, and people scraped along very comfortably with only teaspoons and tablespoons. 

When dessert spoons were invented, Hamilton Place, the seat of Sir Charles’ uncle, was among the first households in Scotland to adopt them, and a small laird invited to dine there was both astonished and disgusted to find one of the new fashioned spoons handed to him with the sweets. “What for do you gie me this?” he inquired of the footman. “Do ye think ma mooth has got ony smaller since I lappit ma soup?” — London Chronicle, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia