Gilded Age Snobbery and Charity

It’s too bad that charity began at the bazaars, but ended at the idea of showing any charity towards the parvenus or newly wealthy of the era!
– Meme from magicalquote.com

Gilded Age Humor on One’s Lineage 

Mrs. Muscovado— “The Newriches are people who don’t know who their grandparents were.”

 Mrs. Rockoil — “Oh, yes, they do, but they hope no one else does” — Harper’s Bazaar, 1893

Charity has been defined as this state of things: That so soon as ‘A’ is in trouble ‘B’ begins to consider what ‘C’ ought to do for him. All charitable fairs, for instance, are based on this principle. You go and buy something which you probably do not want in order that the profit made on it may go to some good cause. In case you had really wanted what you bought you would have perhaps bought it somewhere else, and the regular trade thus suffers from the loss of your custom. 

In the case of very large fairs, like the “sanitary fairs” in wartime, the ordinary local trade unquestionably suffers, perhaps for a whole year, and the community is thus impoverished to a degree in one way so that it may be helped in other ways. For a great national object, this can easily be endured, although, to be sure, we never have known just what the regular dealers thought about it. But when we consider that the same thing is done to some extent on behalf of every local or sectarian enterprise, it is evident that the principle of the affair is not quite satisfactory. 

Suppose, for instance, that we were all to agree for a single year to have all our shoes and hats made by amateurs “for sweet charity’s sake,” and to have a single church or hospital take the value of them all. Then sweet charity would make an apparent gain no doubt, but all the ordinary hatmakers and shoemakers would starve. Or, if they did not starve, they would be supported by their kindred, who perhaps are not for above the starvation point themselves, or they would be supported by sweet charity, and the last condition of things would be worse than the first. 

It is not really the fact that the evils of society can be greatly helped by dressing up young girls prettily and having them take money and give rather inaccurate change at a bazaar table. One day, perhaps, when the laws of trade are better understood, we shall look at charity fairs as we already look at lotteries, which were once regarded as one of the highest forms of sweet charity, but which are now prohibited by law.— Harper’s Bazaar, 1897

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

One Definition of Etiquette Enthusiasts

Caricature of Amercian lawyer and socialite Ward McAllister as “Snobbish Society's Schoolmaster.” Library of Congress description: “Caricature of Ward McAllister (1855-1908) as ‘an ass’ telling Uncle Sam he must imitate ‘an English Snob of the 19th Century’ or ‘you will nevah be a gentleman’; Uncle Sam is shown laughing heartily.” 
—Public domain image

Etiquette enthusiasts are usually super-sensitive people. “Good form,” in their eyes, is of paramount importance. Ward McAllister is one of these. The extremes of etiquette enthusiasm and of superficiality, usually go hand in hand. Frequently, the less a man knows the more enthusiastic is he over the punctilious observance of what is vulgarly known as “good form.’’ 

Active, intelligent men are too busy with the serious affairs of life to devote much thought to the etiquette of enthusiasts. Official life demands much etiquette and its observance is then as commendable as is a good dinner, such as is served at the Hotel Florence, to a hungry guest. — From “Local Intelligence,” the San Diego Bee, 1896

While we Etiquette Enthusiasts at Etiquipedia agree we can at times be super-sensitive, we disagree with the rest of this 19th century take on “Etiquette Enthusiasts.” We think this describes more accurately some working in the field of etiquette who assume the title of “expert,” without having actually attained any expertise.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia