Gilded Age Novelties

The Standard Designer illustrates some of the newest favors and gives directions for making not a few inexpensive but effective ones. 

Newest Cotillon Favors, 

Including “Queen Victoria” crowns…

The custom of giving cotillon favors during the dance comes from Germany, and the favors which come from there are very well made, though perhaps not as effective as those which are made here. 

In Paris beautiful favors are made also, but when imported here become very expensive. It is, however, no longer considered good form to give too expensive favors, and marvelously pretty articles can be made with small outlay.

The Standard Designer illustrates some of the newest favors and gives directions for making not a few inexpensive but effective ones.

To begin with, the banjo is one of the latest. It is made of cardboard and is entirely covered with tissue paper wound around and around. The strings of the banjo are made of gilt tinsel, such as is used on Christmas trees, and around the head are fastened roses made of crape or tissue paper to correspond in color. 

Satin ribbons are tied on the handle so that the favor can be worn slung over the shoulder. Some have bells instead of roses. Toy banjos can be bought and covered, and so save the expense of making them oneself.

Queen Victoria crowns are very new favors, and 100 of them have just been ordered for a cotillon to be given in New York. They are miniature crowns, made of fine wire, covered entirely with tiny pink roses and surmounted by a small gilt ball.

Large palm leaf fans may be transformed into lovely cotillon favors by pasting all over them closely on both sides small paper roses, violets, orchids or any other flower.

The cheapest cotillon favor which can be given is an ordinary tin fish horn. This is simply tied with a bow of ribbon. French horns are also much used as favors. They are generally of wood and are either gilded or silvered and tied also with ribbons. A pretty favor is the scented work bag made of satin brocade or other silken material.

Favors for men should be small. Rosettes of ribbon, different colors, to wear in the buttonhole, crape paper flowers for boutonnieres, cravat holders in silver, pen wipers, Japanese trifles of all kinds, including stamp boxes, account books, canes which pull out, forming candy boxes in the crook handle, and small lyres which are gilded and tied with ribbon. 

Only a very few of these articles can be made, but all can be bought at very little outlay. At all the large dances the favors are placed on a table and given out by one or more of the patronesses. Sometimes the leader of the cotillon takes them around from one couple to the other, as it comes their turn to dance, or else they go to the table and receive them from the patroness. -Ruth Ashmore in Ladies' Home Journal, 1897

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age and “Good Form”

Depiction of a Gilded Age Dinner Party 

Good Form: How it Differs 

from That of the Past 

in Various Important Respects

In a little book entitled “Good Form,” the etiquette of some few years ago is amusingly contrasted with that of today, when every thing is more succinct and expeditious than it used to be. When the ladies of John Leech’s time went to dinner parties they were shown into bedrooms and allowed some minutes to adjust their ringlets. Now they hand their cloak to a servant, and walk straight from their carriage or cab to the presence of their hostess.

At weddings in “the Forties” each bridesmaid had a groomsman to look after her and see that she had what she liked at the elaborate breakfasts of the matrimonial function of that day. Now there is only a “best man,” though how he comes by the superlative adjective when he is sole groomsman it is difficult to say. Among other changes of custom is that concerned with the bridesmaids’ dresses, which used to be given by the bride, And our authoress might have added that it is no dry-eyed. Crying has “gone out.” It was the very height of the fashion in the year 1827.

When Sir Edward Bulwer-Lytton married Miss Rosina Wheeler, an eye witness of the ceremony describes both bride and bridegroom as being overcome with “sensibility,” pale, tottering and tearful. No one totters to the altar now. It would not be “good form.” But the bride must not, on the other hand, romp up the aisle in the exultation of her heart. The correct pace perhaps, is best described as resembling that of a policeman on his beat. It is slow and stately.

Another marked change in social customs is mentioned in connection with the etiquette of “small and early” parties. No longer does a hostess ask her guests to sing or play. This ordeal, so dreaded by the girl of a couple of decades ago, is no longer to be feared. “I hope you have brought some music, Miss Smith,” was frequently the prelude to a distracting performance that gave pleasure to no one, least of all to the player. And, strange to say, now that music is always professional, and generally worth listening to, it is difficult to persuade people to remain silent while it is going on; whereas when amateurs were singing it would have been considered a shocking piece of rudeness for any one to have talked till the lady had finished describing how she wore a wreath of roses, or the gentleman had finished dilating upon his homeless, ragged and tanned condition.

At the dinner table it was considered the duty of the host and bostess to urge their guests to eat. This custom in our own day is entirely abandoned, partly owing to the now universal style of having all dishes handed round. The board no longer groans as once it did, the weight of the viands being transferred to that chapel of ease, the sideboard, where, in seclusion, a hireling carves the joint and skillfully dissects the bird whose anatomy used to prove such an intricate problem to the bothered amateur at the end of the table. Skill in carving is not now one of the polite accomplishments wherewith it is necessary to equip a youth for his social career. Till now, etiquette books have been only unintentionally amusing, but the present writer treats her subject with a sense of humor that makes it easy reading.—London Daily News, 1889

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Party Etiquette

And Etiquette for Today's Parties, As Well

Thank your hostess before you do anything else at a party! - Part of the Gilded Age 400 — The Vanderbilts at a Gilded Age, fancy dress, costume ball in the late 1800s. The Vanderbilts were one of the richest American families at the time.

When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute the lady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your most intimate friends are enveloped in an opake (sic) atmosphere until you have made your bow to your entertainer. 

You then mix with the company, salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You may converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, without the formality of an introduction.— From “The Laws of Etiquette,” by A Gentleman

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Gilded Age Dance Parties

A man gives the first and last dances to his partner of the evening.

In selecting a company for a dancing party the hostess will naturally choose only those who dance, and she should see, as far as possible, that all the women are provided with partners.

It is better to dance first with one acquaintance and then with another, rather than to make one’s self conspicuous by giving a great number of dances to one man.

A man gives the first and last dances to his partner of the evening.

No man should invite a young woman to attend a dress affair without providing a carriage for her. When the party is small and informal, it is allowable to go on the street-cars.

At the end of the dance, the man should offer his arm to his partner, and take at least one turn around the room before consigning her to her seat.

A man who can dance, and will not, ought to remain away from a ball.

If for any reason a girl should refuse to dance with one man, she should not accept another invitation for the same dance.

An invitation to a ball may be asked for a friend who is a stranger in town, and has had no opportunity of making the acquaintance of the one who gives the ball.

A man should not ask a girl, to whom he has been introduced for the purpose of dancing with her, for more than two dances the same evening.– From Cora C. Klein's, "Practical Etiquette," 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette and Eccentricities

Astor Reception in London 

William Waldorf Astor ~ The Astors were one of the wealthiest families of the Gilded Age

Notables Gather at Carlton House Terrace — Grand Duke Michael, Prince Alexander of Teck, Ambassador Hay Among the Guests

William Waldorf Astoria gave his second reception at his home in Carlton House Terrace this evening. It was preceded by a dinner party, at which 40 guests were present, including Prince Alexander of Teck, Ambassador Hay, Mrs. Hay, and Miss Hay. 

The mansion, which even before it became Mr. Astor's residence, was counted  among the most elegant private mansions in England, has been entirely renovated. The rooms have been exquisitely paneled and enriched with fine carving. The grand staircase has been lavishly gilded and adorned with beautiful frescoes. The dining room is a remarkable specimen of the decorator's art and is hung with  magnificent tapestries. 

The refurbished diningroom at Carlton House Terrace in the 1930s.

The table is over 40 feet long, probably the largest in the country. The table decorations this evening were massive silver candelabra, while yellow and white orchids and silver bowls containing fruit and champagne and ice were arranged along its entire length. 

The reception was one of the most brilliant given in London in recent years. Among those present were the Grand Duke and Duchess Michael of Russia, Earl Cadogan, the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, and a host of English dukes, earls, and counts, with their duchesses and countesses, Lord Mayor Faudel Phillips and the Lady Mayoress,  and scores of members of the Diplomatic Corps. 

Among the most striking toilets were those worn by the Countess of Essex, Lady William V. Harcourt, Mrs. Ronalds, Mrs. Bradley-Martin, and Miss Leiter. 

The display of jewels was simply prodigious and the house was a mass of flowers. M. Paderewski, Mme. Melba, M. Plançon, and other famous artists assisted in the musical programme.

~More on William Waldorf Astor ~

William Waldorf Astor's Actions Puzzling Britons—

Officials Are Amused At His
Eccentricities

London Registration Judge Learns That Former American Lives at His Office Instead of at Carlton House Terrace

Special Cable to The Herald

LONDON, Sept. 23,1897

The strange way in which William Waldorf Astor orders his life furnished a puzzle this week to the registration Judge to whom he applied to be placed on the parliamentary voting list for the Holborn division of London. Mr. Astor has 'a palatial house at Carlton House terrace, situated In the Strand division, but he applied to be registered instead for ' the Astor estate office, on the Thames embankment, about a mile away, which Is in the Holborn division. In explanation it was stated that he virtually lived at Cliveden, his Thames-side mansion; that he slept only a couple of times a year at Carlton House terrace, and that when in London he resided at the office of the estate. He has a single bedroom there, with two servants, a chef and an assistant, and spends all his time reading and writing in his study.

When the registration official made inquiries at the estate office all lnformaton was refused, and he was almost hustled out. On going to the office of the Pall Mall Gazette he was informed that they knew nothing about Mr. Astor's movements. The same reply was given at Carlton House Terrace. The judge remarked that If Mr. Astor took the trouble to become a naturalized Englishman he might at least condescend to look after his vote.

The estate office is a beautiful Italian renaissance building, the lower windows of which are covered with massive crossed iron bars. It Is situated close to the Temple station, the most secluded spot on the Thames embankment."


 Originally published in the New York Times, June 10, 1897 and the Herald, September 23, 1897 

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Etiquette of Evening Parties

“Versailles” was a Gilded Age flatware pattern. This pattern was a “multi-motif, figural pattern” which made it very popular. The Gilded Age unofficially is believed to be the period between 1870-1900, though many people count the period all the way up to the U.S. involvement in WWI. “Gilding” is to cover, or coat, with gold, as many silver items were at the time. The period also got its name from the title of a book. “The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today” was an 1873 novel by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner.

EVENING PARTIES
Evening parties are of various kinds, and more or less ceremonious, as they are more or less fashionable. Their object is or should be social enjoyment, and the manners of the company ought to be such as will best promote it. A few hints, therefore, in addition to the general maxims of good behavior already laid down, will suffice.                  

A married man should never accept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included. 

1. Invitations
Having accepted an invitation to a party, never fail to keep your promise, and especially do not allow bad weather, of any ordinary character, to prevent your attendance. A married man should never accept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included.

2. Salutations
When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute the lady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your most intimate friends are enveloped in an opake (sic) atmosphere until you have made your bow to your entertainer. You then mix with the company, salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You may converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, without the formality of an introduction.

The Vanderbilts at a Gilded Age, fancy dress, costume ball. The Vanderbilts were one of the richest American families at the time. 

3. Conversation 

When conversation is not general, nor the subject sufficiently interesting to occupy the whole company, they break up into different groups. Each one converses with one or more of his neighbors on his right and left. We should, if we wish to speak to any one, avoid leaning upon the person who happens to be between. A gentleman ought not to lean upon the arm of a lady’s chair, but he may, if standing, support himself by the back of it, in order to converse with the lady partly turned toward him. The members of an invited family should never be seen conversing one with another at a party. 

French leave is a leave of absence, without announcing one’s departure. This includes leaving a party without bidding farewell to the host. With food and entertainment like that of the Gilded Age, would one really want to leave early? An not thank the host and hostess?!?

4. French Leave 

If you desire to withdraw before the party breaks up, take “French leave” — that is, go quietly out without disturbing any one, and without saluting even the mistress of the house, unless you can do so without attracting attention. The contrary course would interrupt the rest of the company, and call for otherwise unnecessary explanations and ceremony. 

5. Sports and Games 

Among young people, and particularly in the country, a variety of sports or plays, as they are called, are in vogue. Some of them are fitting only for children; but others are more intellectual, and may be made sources of improvement as well as of amusement. Entering into the spirit of these sports, we throw off some of the restraints of a more formal intercourse; but they furnish no excuse for rudeness.  

You must not forget your politeness in your hilarity, or allow yourself to “take liberties,” or lose your sense of delicacy and propriety. The selection of the games or sports belongs to the ladies, though any person may modestly  propose any amusement, and ask the opinion of others in reference to it. The person who gives the party will exercise her prerogative to vary the play, that the interest may be kept up.   

If this were the proper place, we should enter an earnest protest against the promiscuous kissing which sometimes forms part of the performances in some of these games, but it is not our office to proscribe or introduce observances, but to regulate them. No true gentleman will abuse the freedom which the laws of the game allows; but if required, will delicately kiss the hand, the forehead, or, at most, the cheek of the lady. A lady will offer her lips to be kissed only to a lover or a husband, and not to him in company. 

A lady will offer her lips to be kissed only to a lover or a husband, and not to him in company. 

 

The French code is a good one: “Give your hand to a gentleman to kiss, your cheek to a friend, but keep your lips for your lover.” Never prescribe any forfeiture which can wound the feelings of any of the company, and “pay” those which may be adjudged to you with cheerful promptness. — From “How to Behave,” 1887

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia