Gilded Age Strenuous Etiquette of Newport

Leisure for most of us is a thing to be enjoyed. Leisure at Newport is a thing to be displayed. Toil is tiring, is the experience of most of us. We desire to find a place where we may idle away a few weeks, refresh our brains recruit our energies, and enable ourselves to return with new vigor to our work again. Toil is ignoble, is the Newport idea: let us employ ourselves in showing that we need not engage in it…

NEWPORT LIFE STRENUOUS –

Society Women in Vacation Having Anything Except Best

It is not difficult to understand why women who have passed the summer at Newport are readily to be distinguished far into the winter by their fagged look. The season is yet young - the more exciting round of balls and cotillions has not indeed begun - but already the faces of the women bear unmistakable lines of weariness which the arts of our army of masseuses cannot quite obliterate. 

Young girls not yet out - but who, nevertheless, are ever present and most popular at dinners, dances and doings of all sorts - are already wearing the faces of debutantes at the end of their first season. One or two of them are very lovely, but, it must be owned, are years too old in manners and in looks. It is commonplace to say that life in Newport is so formal that it affords no rest. It is really surprising, however, to reflect how completely the true vacation idea has been inverted. It is not merely that the notion of rest has been lost sight of; it has suffered a curious inversion.

Leisure for most of us is a thing to be enjoyed. Leisure at Newport is a thing to be displayed. Toil is tiring, is the experience of most of us. We desire to find a place where we may idle away a few weeks, refresh our brains recruit our energies, and enable ourselves to return with new vigor to our work again. Toil is ignoble, is the Newport idea: let us employ ourselves in showing that we need not engage in it.

This is the philosophy that explains, as its unconscious working has brought into being, the various phenomena of Newport ostentation of dwelling and dress that is so overwhelming to those unfamiliar with it, and over which visiting foreigners exclaim as over one of the wonders of the universe.

There is no place where so large a portion of the day may be passed in public at the casino, on the avenue and on the beach -though the latter by a classic fiction is supposed to be private. (Its mere semi-publicity has lately interfered sadly with the popularity of Bailey's.) The great houses stand but a little way from the streets and are open at all times to an inspection which would be intolerable to a European.

And yet it is considered well here to keep the proofs of unobserved leisure in constant evidence also. Etiquette, which at such other resorts as are truly vacation places, is neglected to the greatest extent compatible with ordinary respectability, is here carried to the utmost extreme. The exact proprieties of dress, equipage, cards and calls are insisted upon. It is a common bore, which, while confessed on every hand. is notwithstanding strictly observed.

The idle folly of it stands out with great distinctness in a place like this. where it might be expected all possible fromality would be dispensed with in the interest of real comfort and enjoyment. The fact that formality 's nowhere carried further shows the real purpose of life. –New York World, 1902

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette at Home in 1884

A lady in society is treated with a certain deference which manifests itself in delicate attentions. Children in society are treated with considerate kindness, which is always considerately expressed. There are rules of etiquette which relate to the many little attentions and formulas. These in society are carefully graded, and often rigidly enforced. They may be made onerous, and so oppressive. But etiquette is clearly defined. 

It should Not be Reserved For Society Alone

The ease and neglige of home often induce carelessness as to etiquette, the impression being that politeness and polish are only needed in society, and that carelessness of manner is appropriate to home life. All such views are erroneous. There is positive comfort in politeness, and etiquette is as important at home as abroad. We distinguish etiquette as the outward expression of politeness. It has to do with forms and attentions, which are external. A lady in society is treated with a certain deference which manifests itself in delicate attentions. Children in society are treated with considerate kindness, which is always considerately expressed. There are rules of etiquette which relate to the many little attentions and formulas. These in society are carefully graded, and often rigidly enforced. They may be made onerous, and so oppressive. But etiquette is clearly defined. 

We do not advocate an etiquette for the home so rigid as to be burdensome. Yet it may be the means of teaching politeness to children. Those who have an instinctive politeness easily fall in with the rules of etiquette. But all have not this instinct. Some are careless, rude, selfish, inconsiderate. These need discipline. To give this is not to lecture on the rules of good order or politeness. It must be instilled more by example than precept. And where the parents are careful to observe the forms of politeness, its importance is naturally impressed and its rules are speedily learned. Therefore, all deference that would be shown in public society should mark intercourse at home. And if husband and wife are courteous, children imbibe and practice it. Example is the great teacher in this line.

Beyond this courtesy exerts a very decided influence on character. Trained to the etiquette of politeness gives a balance and eveness to character. Its very inception involves self-control and conscious restraint. It is, with most, second nature. The forms and rules are acquired and the habits slowly grafted on. Where this is done, so much has been accomplished in the line of self control, that its influence extends to temper and habits of mind. Such persons are apt to be self-contained in all emergencies. A gentleman will be such under all provocations and amid all, receive something more than polish. It is something to gracefully escort a lady to dinner, or to maintain an agreeable conversation, or to show, at all times, the air of good breeding; but the value of it all is in the traits of mind that have been imparted. A clean person will feel clean, and one accustomed to politeness will naturally realize the elevation of feeling at home are important, and the habit of courtesy ranks among the first.— Humboldt Times, 1884

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Champagne Etiquette

“What!” said he, “drink a champagne of 1880. Why, it is too absurd!” I told him it was that or nothing, for we were far behind them in England, drinking new champagnes and having no old ones. The idea is prevalent that champagne will not keep in this climate. After a few years, one will always order his supply from abroad yearly, keeping his champagne at his London wine merchant’s or at the vineyard.

Brut Champagne – Another Revolution in treatment of this Wine – It must be Old to be good –‘74 Champagne worth $8 a bottle in Paris– How to frappé Champagne

THE fashionable world here have accepted the Brût champagne, and avoid all other kinds; ladies even more than men. But another revolution is to occur in this country in the next five years in the treat ment of this wine. We will soon follow the example of our English brethren and never drink it until it is from eight to ten years old.

A year or two ago one the most fashionable men in London asked me to assist him in ordering a dinner at Delmonico's. When we came to ordering the wines, he exclaimed against the champagne. “What!” said he, “drink a champagne of 1880. Why, it is too absurd!” I told him it was that or nothing, for we were far behind them in England, drinking new champagnes and having no old ones.

The idea is prevalent that champagne will not keep in this climate. After a few years, one will always order his supply from abroad yearly, keeping his champagne at his London wine merchant’s or at the vineyard. To evidence the improvement in champagne by age, I can only cite that the champagne of 1874 has sold in London at auction for $7 a bottle, and now in Paris and London you pay $8 a bottle for a '74 wine at a restaurant, and $6 for an 1880 wine; at the vineyard itself $45 a dozen, and hard to obtain at this price. If you once drink one of these old champagnes you will never again drink a fresh wine. In England, they now drink no Madeira; it is never served. At their dinners they pride themselves on giving 1874 champagne. If they can give this wine, with a Golden Sherry and a fine glass of Port, they are satisfied.

It will be well to remember that champagnes are now known to connoisseurs by their vintage. Wines of some vintages do not keep at all. In keeping champagnes, keep only, or order kept for you, the champagnes of the best vintages. Of course, there is much risk in keeping any champagne; but what all strive for, is to possess something that no one else has; that is not purchasable, I mean, in any quantity, and this now is 1874 champagne.

To properly frappé champagne, put in the pail small pieces of ice, then a layer of rock salt, alternating these layers until the tub is full. Put the bottle in the tub; be careful to keep the neck of the bottle free from the ice, for the quantity of wine in the neck of the bottle being small, it would be acted upon by the ice first. If possible, turn the bottle every five minutes. In twenty-five minutes from the time it is put in the tub, it should be in perfect condition, and should be served immediately. What I mean by perfect condition is, that when the wine is poured from the bottle, it should contain little flakes of ice; that is a real frappé. — From “Society As I Have Found It” by Ward McAllister

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

“Society As I Have Found It”- A Review

It is not that his book is given up to trivialities, but that his solemn way of dealing with them creates the impression that he imagines himself occupied in a kind of philosophical research. Darwin, in his evolution of his evolution theory, was not more impressed with the magnitude of his theme than Ward McAllister in establishing a rule of etiquette.

Oh! That Mine Enemy, Etc...

The enemies of Mr. Ward McAllister are indebted to that gentleman for a means of retaliation. Mr. McAllister’s book on “Society As I Have Found It” exposes him to merciless criticism. As a conductor of entertainments he was above reproach. He had studied one thing until he knew it well. No man in either hemisphere is more competent authority on such important matters as the month in the year in which salmon may be served at a swell dinner or the kind of sauce which may be served with it, he has given many, years’ study to intricate problems of this nature, and if he has not solved them satisfactorily, the man does not live who can prove that he has not. But a clever man with Mr. McAllister’s knowledge of society, in both Europe and America, ought to write an entertaining book. That is precisely what Mr. McAllister has failed to do. 

It is not that his book is given up to trivialities, but that his solemn way of dealing with them creates the impression that he imagines himself occupied in a kind of philosophical research. Darwin, in his evolution of his evolution theory, was not more impressed with the magnitude of his theme than Ward McAllister in establishing a rule of etiquette. In most pursuits, earnestness is an element of success. A writer impresses a public in proportion, as he is able to convince them that he believes his own theories and regards them as important. But with society as a theme, a man may be wise or witty, satirical or indulgent, a scoffer or a worshiper, but he must be bright. McAllister’s book is both trivial and dull. — San Francisco Call, 1890

Etiquette. Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia