Etiquette, Snobbery and Women

“One hears often of a self-made man. He likes to advertise his rise in life. But you never hear of a self-made woman; you never hear a rich woman refer to the time when she was still a mill girl or a servant.” – Virginia Harlan, 1910

Cautioning on the Snobbishness of Women

Women, as a class, are distinctly snobbish. Although it is no extenuation, I grant you that there are snobbish men; but they are altogether out proportioned by the women of snobdom. You will please understand that in the course of these lines I shall refer consistently to the “average’’ woman. You, my dear feminine reader, of course, are not an average woman, and so may judge my statements impartially. Woman, at a very early age, reveals her innate tendency towards snobbishness. 

The little girl with any pretentions to station, gives herself absurd airs when brought into contact with another small child of a lower sphere. Let the small daughter of a tradesman go to a “school for young ladies”— save the mark—and she at once becomes the center of a certain scornful curiosity. Her school mates sneer and giggle at her and, despite their breeding, are not above the sniff ostentatious. They make it very clear to her that they look down on her for the awful fact that her father “keeps a shop.” As the little girl grows up her snobbishness grows with her. In her teens, she plays field games with restraint, hesitating to speak to any other girl players, lest they be of grosser birth than hers. 

Consider the anxiety of the average woman to impress her friends. In order to foster the idea that she has a large dress allowance, she is not above stinting herself in food, so as to have more money to spend on personal adornment. And all these “rolled gold” brooches, and “simulation diamond” rings, and “Peruvian pearl” necklaces — have they not been invented in order to minister to the feminine craving to create an impression? Surely there can be nothing much more snobbish than imitation jewelry! 

One hears often of a self-made man. He likes to advertise his rise in life. But you never hear of a self-made woman; you never hear a rich woman refer to the time when she was still a mill girl or a servant. The woman whose husband is now “getting on well” is always ready to sacrifice her old friends to her snobbishness. Such friends as she does not ruthlessly “cut” she patronizes, and very often they submit to it out of a mere snobbish desire to keep friends with someone rich and influential, who may ask them to dinner with “swells” at a moment's notice—if some guest happens to be unable to come.– By Virginia Harlan, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Schoolchildren, 1916

Lay Down Rules of Etiquette for School Children

• Giggling and Talking in Loud Tones on Street Cars Under Ban 

• Girls Can't Wear Jewelry 

• Move on Foot to Better Manners of Students and Raise Standard

Here are the things which Los Angeles school children may not do in the future, according to an etiquette campaign launched today by the P.T.A.:  

• Giggle on the street cars. 
• Talk in loud tones on cars.
• Sit when elder people are standing on cars. 
• Use slang. 
• Wear silk stockings. 
• Wear jewelry or trinkets.  

Los Angeles public school children are to have better manners and a higher standard of etiquette in the future. To accomplish this both the children and their parents are to be educated in courtesy and manners in the homes. 

EDICT OF MOTHERS 

This was the edict of mothers who belong to the council of presidents of the Parent-Teacher Federation, which held its first meeting of the yeaf today at Symphony Hall. The subject of juvenile etiquette was brought up at a round table held under the direction of Mrs. E. H. Noe.  

According to the consensus of opinion expressed at the round table, little school girls giggle and talk too loudly on street cars. Both little girls and boys are too apt to remain seated in the cars when older people are standing. These things are to be campaigned against by the mothers. 

WAR ON SLANG 

A great effort will be made by the 8000 mothers of the P.T.A to stop the use of slang on the part of their children and it is here that father will get his education, according to the mothers. For henceforth, father may not say “darn" if he whacks his thumb with a hammer, because it will give the son of the house a bad example.  

Old fashioned courtesy toward parents and elders will be introduced into Los Angeles homes, according to the P.T.A. plan. Parents will campaign to teach their children courtesy in small maters, such as standing until their parents are seated, and maintaining a polite manner toward each other.  

JEWELRY UNDER BAN 

The question of dress for high school girls was taken up today with the result that mothers will wage war against silk stockings, jewelry and trinkets, and cosmetics. “We want to reach the etiquette and manners of children in school and public through the homes,” Mrs. Noe said today at the round table. "It is the fault of the parents that children of today are noisy, slangy and lax in courtesy.  

But from now on the 8000 mothers of this organization must launch a campaign for their own and other people's children in all these directions.” Dr. Albert Shiels, superintendent of schools, and Mrs. Susan Dorsey, deputy superintendent, addressed the council of presidents.— Los Angeles Herald, 1916

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia