Manners of the Ill Bred

Beware the little foxes which may creep in and destroy the vines of good manners.

Needless to Say!

THE socially impossible person may have spent many hours and many dollars in dressing with elaborate care, but a breach of etiquette will mark him at once as an undesirable. The general marks of being ill bred all have to do with violation of the laws of cleanliness or of honor. Chief among them are:

Theft, even of trifles such as five-cent pencils and paper.

Telling dirty stories.

Cheating.

Bearing false witness against one's neighbor.

Drinking.

Cheap familiarities.

Unpardonable performances which stamp one as unclean are:

Blowing one's nose without a handkerchief. Entering a toilet with another person.

Wearing soiled underclothing and stockings. Picking one's nose.

Cleaning one's ears in public.

Odors of perspiration.

Dirty teeth.

Dirty nails.

Wash bowls and lavatories, both at home and in public places, should be looked upon as a challenge to one's consideration for others and to one's regard for cleanliness. No wash bowl should be left splashed and spattered with soapy or dirty water. The plug should be pulled out and the waste water allowed to flow out completely. Then fresh water should be turned in, to rinse out the bowl.

No one must ever comb his or her hair over any wash bowl. All the signs put up in wash rooms of railroad stations and stores are there because careless people have ignored the rights of others in the matter of public health and cleanliness.

Every toilet must be flushed immediately after use. Two persons must never enter a public toilet booth together; and in private homes, two persons must not enter or be in the same bathroom or lavatory at the same time.

Never leave a toilet room without having thoroughly washed one's hands. If no individual towels are provided, the hands may be dried by shaking them briskly in the air and massaging them together.

Before leaving a toilet room or bath, be very sure that your clothes are completely arranged and adjusted. Twisting and pulling and straightening out one's clothes before strangers, or even friends, stamps one as shiftless and coarse-grained.

Never take off a ring and lay it down to wash your hands. Half the rings which have been lost have gone the way of the wash bowl. Save on plumbers' or detectives' bills, simply by holding fast to that which is yours.

In sleeping cars, persons going to and from the dressing room are expected to be completely covered either with their ordinary clothing or with dressing gown and slippers. At home and at boarding school, nothing less is good form (whether you believe the coast is clear or not). For the sake of the timid or even moderately reticent soul one meets on the way, put on slippers and bathrobe to travel to and from the bathroom.

At bathing beaches, whether there are rules or not, one should be careful to leave the bath house fully dressed in his or her bathing suit. No one may dress or undress on the beach, even in parked cars. A coat should be worn over the bathing suit if the path from the bath house to the beach is through a street. It is never good form to lie around the beach in a bathing costume when one does not expect to enter the water. No boy should sprawl on the sand with his head in a girl's lap or with his arms wrapped around her, or vice versa. Anything which renders the girl conspicuous must be avoided.

If lunches are eaten at the beach, neither papers nor food should be scattered about the beach.

Other obvious marks of being ill-bred are:

Mannerisms.

Overdressing.

A loud voice or an unpleasant one.

Failure to be courteous to older people.

Questioning the fairness of an award.

Staring people out of countenance.

Rudeness to servants.

Criticism of food.

Calling across the room or across the street.

Putting one's hand on another person. This includes tickling, nudging, patting, even picking off imaginary threads and straightening the hair or the costume of another.

Talking to one of two persons and ignoring the other.

Beware the little foxes which may creep in and destroy the vines of good manners. Actions which seem slight and harmless to the person who perpetrates them, but which offend the beholder are:

Manicuring in public.

Combing hair in public.

Powdering one's nose in public.

Picking one's teeth in public.

Putting fingers in one's nose or ears.

Spitting.

Coughing without covering the mouth.

Putting one's hand over one's mouth when talking, laughing or eating.

Kissing on the street or in public places.

Loud talking.

Walking in front of people.

Watching table games without permission and discussing the play.

These lists, intended to give a bird's eye view of bad manners, are anything except short-but they could be longer. If you will write to the publishers of this book, Doubleday, Page and Company, Garden City, New York, and tell them of an important omission which it would be of real service to readers of this book to know, your suggestion will be published in the next edition of “Etiquette Jr.” — By Mary E. Clark and Margery Closey Quigley, 1939

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Streetcar Manners Fine

He was one of that class of men who sit, utterly regardless of the rights and comforts of others. His kind abound in all public places and especially in street cars and in railroad cars. One of his pleasures is to occupy seat space large, enough for two. Sprawling out and crossing his legs are little diversions of his. 

Bad Feet Manners

A Brooklyn magistrate has imposed a fine of $10.00 on a man for crossing his legs on a street car. He merits the honor of a modern Daniel. The culprit who faced the justice was merely typical of the large class of men. He was one of that class of men who sit, utterly regardless of the rights and comforts of others. His kind abound in all public places and especially in street cars and in railroad cars. One of his pleasures is to occupy seat space large, enough for two. Sprawling out and crossing his legs are little diversions of his. 

His brother is the end-seat hog who infested the old-fashioned open cars and his sister is the stony faced woman who permits her young hopeful for whom she has paid no fare, to occupy all of one seat, stand on it, wipe his sticky hands on the people in front of him and his feet against the clothes of all who happen to pass by the seat. In the case of the man in Brooklyn, a determined woman brought him to grief and incidentally before the magistrate, who assessed the fine against him. It is to be hoped there will be hundreds of other determined women who will take similar action and who will in the end be able to make these ill-mannered men conduct themselves rightly. – The Morning Union, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Courtesy is Contagious, By Jupiter!

At the urging of Juno, Jupiter gives a cranky human, Thornton J. Poindexter, a chance to re-do one particular bad day. The message was to be “wisely selfish” and that “courtesy is contagious.”

Veteran actor, Chick Chandler, plays a man who reacts to every rudeness, supposed slight, or mishap around him all day, with rudeness. 

With the help of Jupiter during his do-over, Thornton J. Poindexter has nicely and politely changed his thinking, changed the ways he deals with others, and has made everyone around him happier, and more polite, as well. Oh... and he also got a nice steak instead of “boiled beef,” his newspaper slipped under his doormat as requested, the new bank loan he wanted, and earned some bonus points at the office.

Personnel Head Addresses Future Business Leaders of America

M. Garnett, Manager of the Alpha Beta Markets in the La Habra area, was the speaker at the Future Business Leaders of America meeting last Wednesday at the La Habra High School. Mr. Garnett showed a movie entitled "By Jupiter” which gave students hints on poise, manners and courtesy. After the movie cookies and punch were provided by FBLA members. –LaHabra Star, 1956

1947’s “By Jupiter!” was produced by Marshall Field’s as a way of “showing how all of us can make this world a much more pleasant place to live.”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Society’s Evils

Depiction of a Victorian Era lounge lizard, flirting with two young women. – “These gross breaches of decorum and violations of the rules of decency, cannot be taken notice of by those who are subjected to the inconvenience and mortification arising from such reprehensible acts.” 

Evil Society

It has been a subject for complaint, and very justly too, from those who have brought their families here, of the many occasions on which virtuous females are unwittingly insulted or placed in disagreeable and unpleasant predicaments by the rudeness and ill manners of the many loafers and unworthy characters who now infest our community. The many men who openly indulge in acts of licentiousness, publicly violate the rules and usages of decent society, and who are palpably guilty of the most inexcusable breaches of decorum and good behavior, must eventually hide their diminished heads, cover their deeds with darkness, or conform to a system of morals that now governs our most worthy and refined communities. 

There are, very unfortunately, many persons among us who apparently have nothing else to do but to idle away their time in hanging around bar-rooms or standing on street corners and public places, whistling for want of thought, and vulgarly staring into the face of every female who passes by. We have heard numberless complaints from our most respectable and worthy citizens, whose families in walking through our streets are subjected to the impudent stare, licentious criticism or ribald jest of some loafer whose daily haunts are the card table and the rum shop. And again, many whose families visit places of amusement or popular assemblages, are to be thrown in company with brazen-faced harridans and depraved characters whose presence, pollutes the atmosphere of all public places in the city. 

The habits contracted by many persons who were here at an early day, have not been corrected by the better influences now prevailing and many are so lost to shame and so far forgetful of self-respect as to form associations which their early education would have taught them to shun with the greatest care. The most charitable supposition would lead us to believe that a residence here of a few years without the benefits to be derived from refined and moral associations might have had sufficient influence to make one forget the duties he owes to himself and society. 

These gross breaches of decorum and violations of the rules of decency, cannot be taken notice of by those who are subjected to the inconvenience and mortification arising from such reprehensible acts. As evil they will naturally grow, small by degrees, and beautifully less as our country grows older and will eventually disappear before the irresistible force of public opinion. The rudeness of society, the unsettled condition of the country, or the long absence from domestic comforts nnd restraints, by conventional rules of civilised communities, should never for a moment make a gentleman forget what is becoming of himself and due to those around him. – Daily Alta, 1852

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Hypocrisy

Manners are more than just knowing the rules. It is living them that counts. Pictured above — Dinner from the movie Titanic with a group of supposed ladies and gentlemen. Yet few at this table in the movie, have really earned the titles, or live up to them, in their truest forms. 

Of Methods and Manners

Different persons have entirely different opinions in regard to taste and etiquette. Some are stricklers for certain manifestations, of good breeding, while others lay stress upon other and quite dissimilar rules of behavior. For instance: 

• There are men who would be ashamed to eat with their knives, even in private, but who will talk at the top of their voices in the public reading-room.
• And men who, though they would scorn to remain seated in a horse car while a pretty girl is standing, will throw a banana skin on the sidewalk, regardless of the inevitable consequence. 
• And women who are scrupulously neat as to hands and fingers, but who will, nevertheless, persist in wearing the biggest hat at the theater that they can possibly get hold of. 
• And women who sing like seraphs, and yet will they keep the rear window wide open, though they know that it means pneumonia to one-half of their fellow passengers, and catarrh and sore throat to the other half. 
• And men who never forget to lift their hats to a lady, but who cannot be trusted with impunity for a dollar. 
• And women who would die rather than eat their soup from the end of their spoon, but who will lie like Ananias upon the slightest provocation.
• And women whose conversation is a liberal education and perennial delight to the listener, and yet their hair presents firstclass presumptive evidence that it hasn't had the acquaintance with comb and brush for a month, at least.  
• And men who are scrupulously careful to give a lady the inside of the walk, and yet think nothing of calling upon you at your busiest hour and boring you until you until you wish you were dead. 
• And boys who never forget to say "Yes, sir," and "Yes, ma'am," but who are taken with sudden sickness the moment they are asked to do an errand for their mothers. 
• And girls who do not have to be coaxed to play upon the piano before company, but who will turn around and giggle when a strange man makes remarks about them in the street. 
• And men who would not clean their nails in public, but who will shove a pewter quarter on to a blind man about them in the street. 
• And men who would never interrupt another while he is speaking, but who will advise their best friend to invest in a worthless stock, simply because they have some of that slock which they wish to dispose of. 
• And men who are too polite to look over your shoulder when you are writing, who think nothing of registering false oaths at the Custom-house almost daily. 

Many more instances might be adduced, but the above will suffice to show that we do not all think alike upon these little matters of etiquette. — Boston Transcript, 1885

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Opera Etiquette Humor

Tell those around you how much better the opera was done at the Grand Opera in Paris. You will thus get a reputation as a savant.

Rules of Etiquette for the Opera

Arrive late and take your seat ostentatiously. Calmly survey the house and remark in a ringing voice that there seems to be a very ordinary lot of people present. You will thus impress people with a sense of your importance.

If you see friends in another part of the house, wave your arms gracefully in token of recognition and tell the dress circle how well yon think "Gladys" is looking. It will please the audience if you thus take them into your confidence.

Tell a few sprightly anecdotes about prominent singers who have met you and confide in those within fifity feet of your seat that Caruso doesn't seem to be in as good form as he was three years ago.

Keep up a running fire of comment during the solos, passing blithely from topic to topic until you have exhausted them. If the hoi polloi glare at you simply smile pityingly at them, for they know no better.

Yawn ostentaciously once in a while in order that the common people may infer that you have attended Grand Opera so often, that it has become a bore. Tell those around you how much better the opera was done at the Grand Opera in Paris. You will thus get a reputation as a savant.

By following these simple instructions you will be enabled to create a pleasant diversion for those on the stage and break up the tedium of those who came to hear the music. — John T. McCutcheon, 1911

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia