Cannibalism in Polite Society

Now you can't help liking X.Y. when you first meet him, he is such a big, jolly, generous chap, always ready for any prank or amusement. But when, X.Y. eats, poetry and romance vanish and so does your appetite, owing to his almost ghoulish enjoyment of food and his utter absorption in the pursuit of it... If I dared I would tell this man that he is a cannibal; that his gross way of eating is an offense to society; that if he must gorge in such fashion, he should do so in private. If I dared, I would also warn him that any girl who thought of marrying him would think again if she sat opposite him at the table.
  — Image source T&C Magazine

“A Glutton Is a Bore!” 

(and he’s eating up his social and dating life)

—————————————

What I Would  Tell A Man If I Dared

By A Pretty Girl

Now you can't help liking X.Y. when you first meet him, he is such a big, jolly, generous chap, always ready for any prank or amusement. But when, X.Y. eats, poetry and romance vanish and so does your appetite, owing to his almost ghoulish enjoyment of food and his utter absorption in the pursuit of it. “Isn't this soup just grand?” he would sputter, with his face, now suffused with a deep red, almost buried in the plate — and not a word of general conversation can be had out of him until every viand has been commented upon and consumed and the last sip of cordial swallowed. 

And X. Y. has made a science of restaurants. None of the cheaper ones ever know his presence, but his sighs of disappointment or explosions of anger over dishes that fail to bring back the first “fine careless rapture” of tasting them make you play never to be around when the “eats” are poor. He will surely burst with rage. The amount consumed equals the enthusiasm of the attack. An enormous beef-steak dinner before the play, signifies nothing. He will go to supper afterward with the zest of a starving man. If a dish is declined by any one, he growls: “Get into the game! Get into the game!”

If I dared I would tell this man that he is a cannibal; that his gross way of eating is an offense to society; that if he must gorge in such fashion, he should do so in private. If I dared, I would also warn him that any girl who thought of marrying him would think again if she sat opposite him at the table. X.Y. took a trip to Europe last summer, and, of course, rained picture-postals on his friends, as all travelers do. One of the girls wagered that they would be all restaurant scenes, and they were. He might be said to have eaten, his way over Europe. 

Out of him, on his return, could be pried no word pictures such as the others of his party painted, of wonderful snow-clad mountains, of quaint village scenes, of glimpses of royal splendor. Instead, he dwelt lingeringly on the vast “eats” he had encompassed. Venice was remembered as the place where he had chanced upon his favorite brew of beer. If I dared, I would say to this man, and to all others like him: “Don't think for a minute that anybody else cares what you ate or are going to eat, so if you want to be popular you’d better lift your eyes above your plate and see what there is in the world.”

I was taught, as most girls are, to regard eating, as a rite to be celebrated with conversation and laughter and with the utmost possible concealment of animal zest for food. Sometimes, when the humorous side of it strikes me, I feel like saying to my gourmandizing friend: “Oh, why do you show such spite against the little lamb in his bed of green peas or the little chicken smothered in gravy? I fear that some time you may devour me if dinner happens to be delayed or the meal turns out a failure, as meals sometimes will. In your passionate regard for food I scent a victorious rival. Adieu, Monsieur X.Y. Return to your muttons — alone.”— San Francisco Call, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Restaurant Mobile Phone Manners

Have you checked us out on Instagram or Twitter yet? We’re @Etiquipedia

If you must have your mobile with you in a restaurant...

• Please keep it on silent mode.

• Please keep it off of the table — it’s not part of a place setting.

• Keep it in your handbag, briefcase or a pocket.

• If you must respond to someone, do it via text. 

• If you absolutely must take a call, excuse yourself from the table and go to the lobby or outside. 

• Take every caution to avoid “phubbing” others around you.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

American Doggie Bag Etiquette

“Doggie bags” have an interesting history in the United States. They were first promoted as a way to combat food shortages in 1940, when the U.S. became involved in WWII. Pet owners were encouraged to feed pets their table scraps. Shortages of food were a sad fact of day to day life, so like “Victory Gardens,” feeding Fido one’s restaurant leftovers seemed like a great idea. Soon, eateries across the U.S. began similar practices, but when people began requesting doggie bags to take home the leftover meals for themselves, some etiquette columnists quickly wagged their fingers at this new development. “I do not approve of taking leftover food such as pieces of meat home from restaurants,” Emily Post’s newspaper column decried in 1968, though Emily Post herself died in 1960. “Restaurants provide ‘doggy bags’ for bones to be taken to pets, and generally the bags should be restricted to that use.” Nowadays, people in the U.S. have no qualms about asking the wait-staff to wrap up a remaining entrée for enjoying later. After all, if one has already paid for the food, there is no reason for it to wind up in a landfill somewhere.

Diners bark about ‘doggie’ bags

DEAR ABBY – My husband and I both work downtown and live in the suburbs, so we often eat dinner together downtown after work. We are usually served more than we can eat, so we ask for a “doggie” bag to take home the leftovers. We tried a new place, and when we asked our waiter if we could take our leftovers home, he came back with a pint-sized carton with a little wire handle the kind you get when you buy ice cream to carry home. We felt embarrassed putting our leftovers, like so much “garbage,” into this carton in plain view of everybody. In other restaurants, they transfer your leftovers into a doggie bag in the kitchen and give it to you at the end of the meal. Please print this so we can mail it to the guilty restaurateur. Thank you. - Diners


DEAR DINERS –The “guilty restaurateur” may not feel so guilty after all. Read on for a letter I received the same day yours arrived, and file them both under: “Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”


DEAR ABBY – My wife and I are both 75 years old and we go out to eat two or three times a week. We usually order two meals and take home what is left. Last Sunday we went to a nice place and the food was not cheap. We both ordered prime rib steak. We shared my plate, and my wife ate a small piece of her steak, and asked the waiter to wrap up the remainder to take home. When we were ready to leave, wc asked the waiter for our check and the leftover meat. He came back and told us that the meat had already been thrown out, so I told him to bring us another piece of beef! He returned with a piece of meat, saying he was able to retrieve it before they threw it in the garbage We looked at the meat, and it wasn’t ours. We were sure it wasn’t, because it had some rice on it and we didn’t order rice! (Evidently he took it out of the garbage can.) We were outraged, and told him to bring us a new piece of beef which he did. From now on, if we have food to take home, we always ask the waiter to bring the container to our table! - DelrayBeach   (Both Letters From Dear Abby, in the Desert Sun, 1988)

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Café And Restaurant Etiquette

“Tip quietly, discreetly; the girl with you will know you don't kiss and tell,” is the first rule of correct restaurant conduct, according to Niccolo de Quattrociocchi, who ran “El Borracho” in New York. The famed café was well known for it’s “Kiss Room.” Thousands of signed ‘lipstick-kissed’ cards, from various female patrons, hung all around the room. Newcomers added to the cards as time passed, adding to the room’s romantic whimsy.

Man Who Knows New York’s Famed 

‘Café Society’ 

Tells How to Behave Properly in a Café 

“Tip quietly, discreetly; the girl with you will know you don't kiss and tell,” is the first rule of correct restaurant conduct, according to Niccolo de Quattrociocchi, who runs El Borracho, a restaurant and rendezvous of Café Society. 

Nicky Q, as he is better known, has turned author with the issue of his book “Love and Dishes.” The volume is a combination autobiography and cook book, including recipes which Nicky has culled from his own kitchen as well as from the kitchens of other famous eating houses here, and abroad. 

Other rules which Nicky, a stickler for etiquette, puts forth for guidance are: 

• “Your cash looks much nicer than your personal checks. If you must write checks, make sure they are not ‘rubberized.’ 
• “Check your hat when you enter a smart joint. What's two bits to you? 
• “If you are the suave, mysterious type, you talk quietly. People next to you like to carry on conversations of their own, which is impossible if you are a loudmouth.
• “Don’t nag, frighten or otherwise convert waiters into nervous wrecks. Be nice and they will spread the word around about what a gentleman you are—if you are the type that likes to be taken for one. 
• “Make sure you really want what you order. A restaurant is not a department store. Exchanges sag the profit. 
• “If you are a girl, you will look ravishing and very alluring as you comb your hair in a restaurant. But who wants alluring hair flying into his soup?Use the powder room. 
• “If you feel romantic, don’t neck in a restaurant. There is time, place and a quiet room for things of that sort. 
• “Restaurants’ pepper and salt shakers and silver are really no better than yours. Besides, restaurants are not in the souvenir business. 
• “Don’t pick fights in restaurants. Chances are you will lose. 
• “If you feel sleepy, go home. 
• “If you are a boy who consents to his lady friend paying the check, make sure she comes across in the taxi. Everyone sees the money she passes to you under the table. 
• “Don’t be a sound effect eater. Chew with your mouth closed. 
• “Don't rinse your month with coffee. Please!” – New York Times, 1951

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia