Showing posts with label Modesty and Dress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Modesty and Dress. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Gilded Age Skirt Dancing

“When she danced in America in 1888, the critics were surprised to see a dancer who did not show her legs and breasts.” –Popular British “Skirt Dancer,” Letty Lind (source Wikipedia) 
Skirt dancing was a huge craze, popularized by dancers Kate Vaughan and Letty Lind, until around 1910. Fusing modesty and elements like the grace of ballet and footwork of step-dancing. Step-dancing was seen as lacking in grace and considered “common.” A dancer’s skill in the manipulation of up to 12 metres of fabric in the skirt of her costume was key. According to Wikipedia, “Skirt dancing’s advantage over ballet was that people could do it at home, and it became popular among all social classes. Lind was able to differentiate herself from other skirt dancers because she had the benefit of classical training that most of them did not, and she often added an acrobatic touch to the end of her dances.”

Skirt Dancing In Private Life 

Fashionable women are not all of them contented with society dancing. The interest in skirt, serpentine and Spanish dancing has been a caprice of the last two seasons, which is still in strong evidence. “I have on my books,” said one of the most prominent teachers of skirt dancing, “the names of many women who are well known in New York society. They come, some of them, under assumed names, and many of them with any excuse except the frank one of wanting to learn how to do the dance.” It is true, however, that many women do undertake stage dancing because they consider it excellent gymnastic exercise and beneficial to their health. Others practice it in connection with their Delsarte course. Others still think the supple movements will improve their gait and carriage, and still others take a serious and thorough course to reduce their weight. 

In the practice for skirt dancing, every muscle of the body is brought into active play, and superfluous flesh is kept down. Several well known New York actresses, whose duties never call for any sort of dancing, are adepts in the skirt steps, having learned them for this very purpose—to counteract a tendency to stoutness. “Women of all ages, from 16 to 50, are found in my classes, and the elder women are, many of them, as light and graceful as their younger classmates. All fancy they have a talent for the work, and many give evidence of having practiced at home before taking lessons. There are a number of small women's clubs and coteries of intimates whose existence is not suspected outside the initiated, at whose gatherings the skirt dance is done with varying proficiency by different members. Two that meet in lovely rooms on the top floor of Murray Hill homes count some of my pupils among their members, and they are delightful dancers. The devotion to skirt dancing has grown much this season over last, and the caprice shows no sign of abatement.” —New York Times, 1893


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Friday, April 13, 2018

Etiquette and Modesty

In its use today, ‘modesty’ can be an emotional word, ringing of judgment and disdain, particularly when referring to what a person does not possess. It’s a word people can and have taken sides over.

Modesty in Today's World

If you look up “modesty” in the dictionary, you’ll find three variations of its meaning:
  1. Not vain or boastful
  2. Decent behavior or dress
  3. Simple, minimal

In its use today, it can be an emotional word, ringing of judgment and disdain, particularly when referring to what a person does not possess. It’s a word people can and have taken sides over.

Masculine and Feminine Variations

Searching “modesty” online, I found images and sayings galore. And immediately noticed the majority related to the female of the species: what she shows or doesn’t show, or an inner quality of her beauty. Or her behavior of restraint to avoid being seen as less than decent or moral.

It became apparent that, what I believed to be a timeless, all-encompassing word, is generally associated with the feminine. And just as much today as in more conservative times.

It also seems that when applied to men, it is sometimes viewed as weak and unmanly.

But I think of modesty as a power word. If a person of either gender is modest, unassuming or understated in the presentation of himself or herself, that person actually has more power in that his or her qualities lay waiting to be discovered.

Dressing Modestly

Attire is what most people notice immediately when seeing someone. It is a primary element in a first impression.

When you show up to an event or occasion and are not dressed in the same level of formality that the event calls for, or you are dressed in a manner that draws undue attention to yourself, it is considered immodest.

It seems to matter more if you are a woman, the level of importance varying in different cultures. A woman who attends a business meeting dressed in a slinky cocktail-style dress is assumed to be of lesser character.

A man, I think, would be judged less harshly. If he showed up in sweats he would be judged crude, but not immodest, or of lesser character.

Behaving Modestly

Judith Martin, alias “Miss Manners,” agrees that modern modesty is not an easy word to define. For instance, “immodesty is to wear a bathing suit on a nude beach, thus calling attention to one’s body.”

What’s worse for her “than immodesty of dress or undress, is the current immodest fashion of dressing up one’s experience so that one appears to be more than one really is.” She goes on to say that she does not favor the “shocking policy of face-value honesty, but merely calling attention to the pleasure of being discovered to be better than one has presented oneself to be.”


Modest behavior consists of calm courtesies. One introduces himself, participates in conversation, does not disturb, smiles and makes eye contact appropriately, and shows genuine care for himself and others.

It is the making of that person everyone refers to as “nice” before they learn she is a famous playwright, brilliant scientist, or successful businessperson.

Etiquette-ful Modesty

Have more than you show, speak less than you know. 
~ William Shakespeare

Etiquette occurs within context, situation and relationship. It matters where you are and why you’re there.

It defers to respect, courtesy, and kindness in every situation, context and relationship. It is gender-free and applies to everyone.

Actions of etiquette that breed modesty are:
  1. Know where you are!
  2. Intend respect, courtesy, and kindness always.
  3. Remain ever-mindful of what a situation calls for so that you aren’t the focus – nor are your outfit or body parts.

To be modest, is to be etiquette-ful. The elements of both appear in every aspect of our lives, encouraging quiet authenticity, and an avoidance of chaos


Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Etiquette, Modesty and Dress

Oh, the irony! She wears a bathing dress that shows her limbs half way up to the knee, and doesn't care who sees them; but in the evening, when at home, if her dress should expose the least bit of a striped stocking to the gaze of her most intimate friends, she would clutch it frantically and drag it down quicker than chain-lightening.


The Absence of Etiquette in the Water

It is astonishing to see how much a young lady becomes attached to a gentleman while in the water, who she would barely recognize on the street the day before. We have seen such a one clasp a young man lovingly around the neck, just because a roller, a little larger than usual came along, and he had considerable difficulty in releasing himself before he was choked to death. 

The same young lady wears a bathing dress that shows her limbs half way up to the knee, and doesn't care who sees them; but in the evening, when at home, if her dress should expose the least bit of a striped stocking to the gaze of her most intimate friends, she would clutch it frantically and drag it down quicker than chain-lightening, while her face would become suffused with blushes. It makes a power of difference where we are, and what we're doing. (We presume that the same lady would blush to look upon Antony and Cleopatra.) – California Farmer and Journal of Useful Sciences, 1877



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia