Good Manners Required

“When eating stewed prunes in public, your pit should be first dropped into your a) plate, b) hand, c) spoon or d) napkin? Answer: c, your spoon. Then deposited on the edge of your plate.”
— Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

.... to Get Ahead in This New Board Game

Suddenly manners are in. The manners market runneth over with books, newspaper columns, lectures and corporate seminars.

And now “The Official Game of Etiquette: For the Young, For the Upwardly Mobile and Those Who Are Tired of Faking It.” Invented by Frank Scott, a former child actor (Disney’s “The Seeing Eye Dog”) turned stockbroker and now owner of Interstate Security, a San Diego burglar-alarm company.

It’s a Monopoly derivative. It tests your etiquette I.Q. with such questions as:

• At a clam bar, is it acceptable to suck the clam right off the shell? Yes.

• Because of history and the Pilgrims, is corn on the cob, although messy, still acceptable at a formal dinner? No. Not unless you’re eating with a Pilgrim.

• Is the most important servant in the household the a) oldest, b)chambermaid, c) butler, d) gardener or e) valet? Answer: e, the butler.

• A masseur at a private club should be tipped what percentage of the massage: 10, 15 or 20? Answer: 20.

• When eating stewed prunes in public, your pit should be first dropped into your a) plate, b) hand, c) spoon or d) napkin? Answer: c, your spoon. Then deposited on the edge of your plate.

Scott, 37, researched his 400 questions with standard reference works on etiquette and with a consultant who preaches etiquette to the corporate elite.

The game sells for $24 (manners ain’t cheap, bud). Scott invested $40,000 getting the game produced and marketed.

“All those latchkey kids from the 1960s and 1970s are the yuppies of today, and they realize they don’t know how to act in most social and business situations,” Scott said. “They need this game, even if they don’t know it yet.”— By Anthony Perry, Los Angeles Times, 1989

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and 1980’s “Polite Society”

A 1983 ‘Polite Room’ in warm tones from House Beautiful Magazine – “Warm colors compliment guests; sunny shades make people happy. Peaches, pinks and reds are the nicest colors for flattering guests. A yellow room always picks up the spirits...” 

All of a sudden it’s nice to be nice. After a long spell of putting “No. 1” first, thinking of others seems to have a novel attraction. What’s the tipoff? Everyone’s emerging interest in etiquette. 

All across the country, ex-“me generation” mothers are sending their toddlers to manners classes. Harvard Business School students are attending seminars on gracious entertaining. Updated etiquette books are selling like crazy. And, in the White House, propriety is politic. Welcome the polite society.

Sociologists say it’s a reaction to the “take me as I am” 196o’s and the “me-ism” of the 1970s. But, whatever the cause, the aim is definitely to please. The same gracious mood is guiding a new trend in home decorating. Friendly rooms which extend polite welcomes are replacing the self-centered environs of the high-tech age. 

“Warm colors, a relaxed mix of furnishings, intimate scale and lots of cushy, comfortable upholstery are the hallmarks of the new decorating etiquette,” says one interior design consultant. “These polite rooms are the essence of all-American graciousness. And, unlike the so-called civilized rooms of yesteryear, these ‘polite rooms’ put people at ease, engage their interest and emanate warmth.” 

Although decorating dogmas went out with engraved calling cards, today’s new courteous decors do share a standard code of behavior. Here are just some of the dictates: 

• An intimate scale creates a relaxed atmosphere. 
• An 8-by-10-foot area is a good size for conversation groupings. 
• In a larger room, designing a small library of music nook to create a cozy ambiance is recommended. 
• Warm colors compliment guests; sunny shades make people happy. Peaches, pinks and reds are the nicest colors for flattering guests. A yellow room always picks up the spirits. 
• Interesting accessories break the ice. Aside from making a room truly personal, handmade accessories, collections, flowers, books and art give people something to talk about. They are the niceties of decorating... the ‘white gloves and pearls.’ 
• A mix of styles and patterns sets a friendly tone. There’s nothing stiff about these polite rooms. 
• On the contrary, a warm blend of old and new and an artful combination of patterns and prints helps keep rooms from being too rigid, too formal, too cold. – The Sun, 1983

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia