America’s Youth Lack Manners Abroad

Why does this 1930’s American ad depict a mother looking on delightedly, as her children make a mess with tools and toys, just inches from her feet? All while she attempts to prepare dinner? Was this depicting the American norm of the era? Either this mom, or the advertisement’s artist, could have used some help in the child-rearing department! – “Observation of the current code in one’s surroundings ought to be a part of a child’s preparation for living. Our children, must live with other people. They will invariably get farther in life and be happier if they know the rules of etiquette that will provide the least friction and give the greatest pleasure to their associates.”

Tuning in with Our Children

By James Samuel Lacy

Are American children the most discourteous in the world? I don’t think so. But I had dinner recently with a European hotel proprietor who challenged our teaching of courtesy with the statement that “We dread to see Americans with children come to our hotel. The children do as they please, consider no one’s right but their own. They behave so badly that we consider them nuisances.” I am inclined to think that, in part, this idea was prompted by national differences in the concept of what constitutes freedom for youth. It takes very little foreign travel to convince one that what is courteous in one country may be quite the opposite in another. 

Sorry for Timid Children 

What we style “self-reliance in free play,” may be mistaken for impudence or lack of obedience in countries permitting less freedom of choice to children. However, if a few of our children have gone abroad running up and down flights of stairs, playing hide-and-seek when other guests were trying to sleep, we can still say that generally children are as courteous as they are trained to be. I have often felt as sorry for their timid, thumb-screwed children who were afraid to make any decisions for themselves as they could possibly have felt shocked at our unrestrained youth. 

Need Training in Country

But all argument aside, there is no asset in life so highly productive of social dividends as excellent training in courtesy. And observation of the current code in one’s surroundings ought to be a part of a child’s preparation for living. Our children, must live with other people. They will invariably get farther in life and be happier if they know the rules of etiquette that will provide the least friction and give the greatest pleasure to their associates. A charming, gracious manner is an irresistible asset that we can afford to cultivate, but to do so successfully, we must begin by being courteous with our children and insisting upon their practice of courtesy and consideration in their association with each other. –From the Journal of the National Education Association, 1932

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Vacation Etiquette for Americans

This turtle doesn’t need this bag, as he certainly won’t be doing any seaside shopping. “Multiply your left-behind paper plates and cups, soft drink bottles, etc., by the hundreds who will use that picnic area in a given week and you see why some areas look like one big garbage heap. Crews eventually will pick up after you, but you’re not thinking of the others who want to enjoy the outdoors, nor of the multi-million dollars of taxpayers’ money spent on cleanup alone.”  –Photo source Canadian Wildlife Federation

How Are Your Travel Manners? 

Check Yourself

A tourist is judged by his travel manners and the better they are the better the impression made on strangers at home and abroad. The better also you will enjoy your trip if you exercise the rules of courtesy. Good manners add to good service you get too from the motels, hotels, roadside eating places, airlines, trains and buses. Those catering to the vacationer if pinned down could give you a list of gripes that long for correction. They are tolerant, because they are seeking the tourist dollar. But, from talking to various persons in the travel industry, we have compiled –

“Pauley’s Easy Guide for Testing Your Vacation Etiquette”

• Do you hog two seats in the bus, train or plane by deliberately placing your coat, purse or other paraphernalia on the second seat, hoping thereby to seal it off? 
• Do you on planes hang assorted cameras, coats or other accessories including flight bags in your area so that they overlap and create a hazard anyway discomfort for the person behind or in front of you? 
• Do you light a cigarette, pipe or cigar without asking whether smoking bothers the person sitting next to you? 
• Do you use the ash tray nearest you or prefer to lean over and use one of your neighbor, dusting ashes as you go?
• Do you march up to the reception desk of hotel or motel and elbow others aside who are in line ahead of you to register? If you've pushed your way past others a little more patient during a busy tourist season, you’ve just won a top award for crudeness. 
• Do you adapt, if the conditions are not as perfect as promised ? Some of the overseas countries are just getting into the swing of seeking you as guest for a holiday and the shower may not always work, the soap supply not be ample. But point out politely that flaw in the service. Creating a scene does not create a favorable impression of Americans. 
• In motor travel, especially in the United States, do you trash the roadside picnic areas as if litter did not hurt? Multiply your left-behind paper plates and cups, soft drink bottles, etc., by the hundreds who will use that picnic area in a given week and you see why some areas of the United States look like one big garbage heap. Crews eventually will pick up after you, but you’re not thinking of the others who want to enjoy the outdoors, nor of the multi-million dollars of taxpayers’ money spent on cleanup alone. 
• Do your driving manners show in reverse? Tail-gating or nudging out of your lane at a stop light for a quick getaway when the light turns green? These invite disaster. 
• Do you remember to say thank you to the filling station attendant, the policeman or anyone else who acts as a free guide? There are a dozen times a day the tourist has a chance to say “thank you,” and make traveling a treat instead of a trauma. – By Gay Pauley, Women’s Editor, (UPI) New York , 1963

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia