Gilded Age Manners of Americans

Stereoscopic view of the White House State Dinner tables set for the 1902 dinner hosted by Teddy Roosevelt, in honor of Prince Heinrich of Germany.

Morals and Manners of a Nation

The real test of the manners and morals of a nation is not by comparison with other nations, but with itself. It must be judged by the historical, not by the topographical standard. Does it develop? and how? Manners, like morals, are an affair of evolution, and must often be a native product, a wholly indigenous thing. This is the case, for instance, with the habitual American courtesy to women in traveling — a thing unparalleled in any European country, and of which, even in this country, Howells finds his best type in the Californian. What takes the place of it among the Latin races is the courtesy of the high bred gentleman toward the lady who is his social equal — which is a wholly different thing. 

A similar point of evolution in this country is the decorum of a public assembly. It is known that at the early town meetings in New England men sat with their hats on, as in England. Unconsciously, by a simple evolution of good manners, the habit lias been outgrown in America, but parliament still retains it. Many good results may have followed imperceptibly from this same tendency to decorum. Thus Mr. Bryce points out that the forcible interruption of a public meeting by the opposite party, although very common in England, is very rare in America. 

In general, with us, usages are more flexible, more adaptive; in public meetings, for instance, we get rid of a great many things that are unutterably tedious, as the English practice of moving, seconding and debating the prescribed vote of thanks to the presiding officer at the end of the most insignificant gathering. It is very likely that even our incessant self criticism contributes toward this gradual amelioration of habits. In that case the wonder is that our English cousins, who criticise themselves quite as incessantly, move so slowly.—Harper's Bazar, 1891

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

London Hotel Etiquette & Customs

Ring your bell in an American hotel at any time and up comes a pitcher of iced water; ring your bell of a morning in an English hotel and up comes a pitcher of boiling water, it being presumed that you desire to shave. Instead of iced water, a pitcher of hot water is also brought to your room immediately on your arrival at an English hotel; and this is very grateful if you have just come, tired and dusty, from a railway journey.
Above -19th century image of Hotel Metropole, London — Image source, Pinterest 

Items of Interest Gleaned from a Tourist’s Note Book

The Great Difference Between English Hotels and Those of the United States. Special Features of the London Hotel

A Type —The Proprietor

Ring your bell in an American hotel at any time and up comes a pitcher of iced water; ring your bell of a morning in an English hotel and up comes a pitcher of boiling water, it being presumed that you desire to shave. Instead of iced water, a pitcher of hot water is also brought to your room immediately on your arrival at an English hotel; and this is very grateful if you have just come, tired and dusty, from a railway journey.

There are no such free and easy manners to be seen at English hotels as obtained in the States. You may look in vain for the gaudy barroom, with its glitter of glass and brass and its questionable if not objectionable works of art. Nor can strangers enter the smoking and reading rooms to lounge and loaf at will. There are usually two writing rooms, in which order and quiet reign, and in one the sterner sex is not admitted. The rooms are richly appointed, each desk having a small electric lamp, and the finest stationery is furnished free to the privileged occupants. This remark applies only to hotels of the very first class— the Langham, for example. You never hear the cry of “front,” nor do you see half a score of “bell boys” playing pranks in halls and entrances. The “office” is a place fitted up for the clerks and bookkeepers, and is not used by outsiders and the public in general for a noisy rendezvous.

Home Like and Comfortable 

To one accustomed to the immense parlors and public rooms of an American hotel the “drawing room” and other apartments of an English hotel seem small, but there is a home like and comfortable air about the English house which American hotels seldom or never possess. Even the public rooms of the Metropole, a house which cost several millions of dollars, which covers an acre of ground and entertains 800 people at one time under its roof, seems small compared with those of our leading hotels. The comfort of guests, rather than imposing size of public rooms, is their main consideration. 

Another special feature also of a first class house over here is the wine cellars. The days of your “two bottle men” may have departed, not so the love that Englishmen bear for good wine. The Metropole is owned by a company which has its own vineyards in the champagne districts of France, and the “Metropole extra dry” is a wine that will rank with the choicest wines in the market. One can readily imagine that wine is a feature in London hotels when it is understood that the stock of wines in the Metropole cellars is valued at £25,000 sterling, or $125,000

While most of the hotels in London are kept on the European plan, making a separate charge for each meal, there is a notable exception in the Windsor, a new hotel in Victoria street. Westminster, which is hotel in any large European city— the proprietor and manager are both hard to find. In London all the leading hotels are owned by companies and managed by men; the second rate hotels have women for managers and clerks, and these are usually cross, maiden ladies of an uncertain age. They still keep up the old and bad habit of charging for “attendance” in English hotels, and the price is usually one and sixpence each person. 

In arranging for rooms at the Adelphi Hotel in Liverpool, the writer was told that the price for two rooms was “eight and sixpence.” Forgetting for the nonce about the charge for attendance, he tendered this agreed upon amount in settling his bill, but was at once reminded that for each night four and six pence more ($1.12) must be paid, there being three persons.— “M. P.” in Home Journal, 1888

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia