Etiquette and Obeisance

Lord Carisbrooke – The “Marquess of Carisbrooke“ was a title created in 1917 for Prince Alexander of Battenberg, the eldest son of Princess Beatrice of the United Kingdom (the youngest daughter of Queen Victoria) and Prince Henry of Battenberg. He was also made Viscount Launceston, in the County of Cornwall, and Earl of Berkhamsted at the same time, all in the Peerage of the United Kingdom. At this time, along with other German-surnamed relations of the British Royal family, Alexander changed his surname to Mountbatten. Confused yet??? Sadly, all of these titles became extinct upon his death in 1960, as he had no sons.- Photo Public Domain

It was hard for Gotham Society to know the right amount of deference and respect to show when they were unknowingly dealing with a “Minor Royal”

Gotham Society– with a very large, capital S– is considerably exercised over the proper amount of obeisance due Lord Carisbrooke, its at present most distinguished guest. Because he is a grandson of Queen Victoria and brother of the Queen of Spain, his hosts and fellow guests started in by giving him regular court curtsies and presenting women to him as rapidly as all the rest of what they deemed his due. Then along came carping critic and laughted them to scorn. 

“He’s not a Prince of the Blood” he told them. ‘‘He must he getting a lot of fine laughs out of you. Etiquette doesn’t let you treat him any different from any other gentleman.” The most embarrassed person among the mis-steppers is one who is credited with ambitions to be made ambassador to the Court of St. James and now he’s given it away that he doesn’t even know court etiquette!– Press Democrat, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette, Nobility and Names

 Family Coat of Arms for the House of Talleyrand-Périgord ––The House of Talleyrand-Périgord was a house of French Nobility. A well-known family member was Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord (1754-1838). He achieved distinction as a French statesman and diplomat. The famous family name became extinct in 2003 upon the death of Violette de Talleyrand-Périgord. – Photo source, Wikipedia 

He Gave Up His Title to Please His Son? Or His Sons’s Ex? – Divorcées Hate to Relinquish Their Titles!

Since the divorce of the lady who was Miss Mabel Wright from Mr.Yznaga, she has called herself “Mrs. Mabel Yznaga.” This has caused some comment in New York, as Mrs. William K. Vanderbllt retains her husband’s full name. It is said that she has done this because the mother of the Duke of Marlborough still calls herself Marchioness of Blandford, which was the title his father bore at the time of his divorce. But if W. K. Vanderbilt should marry again, Mrs. W. K. Vanderbilt would have to abdicate his front name and title. 

The present Duke de Dino, while still Marquis de Talleyrand-Perigord, married Miss Curtis of Boston. When they were divorced he married Miss Stevens of New York. Both ladies call themselves “Marquise de Talleyrand-Perigord.” The situation became so awkward that the Marquis induced his father, the Duke of Dino, to give up his title to him in order to settle the situation. Mrs. Stevens then became the Duchess De Dino, while Miss Curtis was forced to cling to her shadowy divorcee title of “Marquise de Tallyrand-Perigord.” – Los Angeles Herald, 1896

👑Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Manners and Mistaken Identities

Evidently, Lady Violet was not the first person to make this mistake! 

“Celebrities” Graciously Accepting Tips

Visitors at an English country house are allowed to do whatever they like during the forenoon. An eminent geologist, who was entertained at one of these houses, asked for coffee early one morning and started out with a suit of old clothes and a bag of tools to make a special study of the rock ledges of the estate. During the forenoon, one of the country gentry came upon him by the roadside, and supposing him to be a workman entered into conversation with him. The geologist was seated on a ledge of rock and was making vigorous use of mallet and chisel.

The stranger talked with him in a patronizing way, and, while not receiving an intelligible account of the work on which he was engaged, was impressed with the supposed workman's intelligence and good manners. Indeed, he fumbled in his pocket and brought out a half crown, which he tossed to the man with the mallet. The geologist seemed surprised, but picked it up and put it in his pocket after thanking the gentleman. There was a dinner party at the country house in the evening and the same gentleman was introduced to the eminent geologist, who at once began to laugh. “I have the half crown,” he said at once, “and I shall not give it up. It is the first tip I ever received, and I shall show it to my friends as a trophy of superior intelligence.” 

Lord James once had a similar experience. He was strolling through the Temple Gardens in London when a party of tourists encountered him and asked to be directed to some of the most interesting places. He volunteered to show them about, and took them first to the Temple Church and Goldsmith's Grave, and finally to the famous Elizabethan Hall of the Middle Temple. His explanations were lucid and interesting, and when he parted from his new acquaintances, one of them gave him a schilling, and remarked that few guides were equally intelligent. The nobleman took the shilling demurely and thanked the stranger. He is said to have kept it to this day, and to have frequently told the story of his experience with the innocent tourists in the Temple Gardens. 

Another story is related of an English Duke who was standing at the door of his house when a carriage rolled up. A near-sighted gentleman alighted, asked if it was the Duke's residence, and on receiving a respectful nod from the supposed servant, gave him a shilling. The Duke, perceiving that he had been mistaken for a footman, kept the shilling, raised his hand to his forehead and made the usual salute. The near-sighted gentleman went into the house, and in due time was presented to the Duke, and never had a suspicion that he had tipped one of the highest members of the British aristocracy at his own door. The Duke could hardly have offered a more striking proof that he was a gentleman by instinct, as well as by birth, than by pocketing the unintentional affront to his dignity. – San Francisco Call, 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Royal Titles and Diana

Fondly remembered as the “People’s Princess,” Diana’s life continues to fascinate in books, traveling exhibits and television programs, over 20 years after her death.

In 1985, Titles Created a Royal Problem for the Masses, And Miss Manners Responded

She is not “Princess Diana.” You perhaps know the lady Miss Manners means –the blonde one who wears hats so nicely but has not always managed to keep her hair out of her eyes. 

Born a commoner, she was styled "Lady Diana" by courtesy because her father is an earl. She is now, having married up, “the Princess of Wales.” Only should she become Queen consort would a royal title appear before her first name, as “Queen Diana.” Is that clear? Of course not. 

We Americans decided long ago that the idea of classifying some people as belonging to a higher order of humanity was not for us. Our highest title is “Mr.,” as in “Mr. President,” and it takes the individual some doing to get it. But the British do show up on our shores now and again, so one may want to know a bit about titles. 

Besides, it is difficult to make one's way through 19th-century British novels or 20th-century British television without being able to figure out who is called what and why. The subject is infinitely complicated, and disputes have been known to last for centuries. Miss Manners will concern herself only with the basic outline. Only the reigning Queen and her mother (as the widow of the previous King) are addressed as “Your Majesty,” other members of the royal family being addressed as “Your Royal Highness.” Children of the Sovereign also use the prefix “the,” as in “Their Royal Highnesses, the Prince and Princess of Wales.”

The peerage has five grades: duke, marquess (most use the good old English spelling rather than the French “marquis”), earl, viscount and baron. The female equivalents, for wives or widows (the latter styled dowager, if the succeeding peer has a wife) are: duchess, marchioness, countess, viscountess and baroness. Except for dukes and duchesses, who are called by those titles, peers and peeresses are addressed as “Lord” or “Lady” with the name of the senior peerage they possess. Legally, the children of these people are all commoners. 

However, dukes, marquesses and earls tend to have other titles as well, and by courtesy, their oldest sons use the next family title down until after, courteously enough, the funerals, not the deaths, of their fathers. Then there are titled commoners: baronets, whose degrees of honor are hereditary, and knights, whose are not. They use “Sir” before their full names, but are addressed with the title and given name only. Their wives use “Lady” with the surname only, never with their given names (a common American error). 

This is only the beginning. Miss Manners will not bore you with collateral privileges of the siblings of heirs presumptive who succeed, the rights of duchesses who were divorced in interesting trials, the children of peers who disclaimed their peerages, and so on. She only asks you to stop saying “Princess Diana.” – By Judith Martin, October 27, 1985

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Royal Court Precedency

Consuelo Spencer-Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, was a member of the prominent American Vanderbilt family. Her marriage to Charles Spencer-Churchill, 9th Duke of Marlborough became an international symbol of the socially advantageous, but loveless, “Dollar Princess” marriages, which were so common during the Gilded Age.

The new Duchess of Marlborough takes the lead in the order of precedency at Court. According to English Court etiquette, women take the same rank as their husbands or brothers. The order of precedency is as follows down to Dukes: The Sovereign, the Prince of Wales, the Queen's younger sons, grandsons of the Sovereign, Archbishop of Canterbury, the Lord High Chancellor, Archbishop of York, Lord President of the Council, the great Lord Chamberlain, the Earl Marshal. 

The last four named rank above all peers of their own degree; Dukes according to their patent of creation (1, Dukes of England; 2, of Scotland; 3, of Great Britain; 4, of Ireland). 

The following is the date of creation of twelve of the twenty-two Dukes:

• Marlborough, 1702; 
• Brandon, 1711:
• Portland, 1716;
• Manchester, 1719;  
• Newcastle 1756; 
• Northumberland, 1766; 
• Cumberland 1799;
• Wellington, 1814; 
• Sutherland, 1833; 
• Westminster, 1874; 
• Fife, 1889; and 
• Argyll, 1892

                         From the San Francisco Call, 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Etiquette for George V

Yards of ermine. ~ George V's Coronation portrait.

King George's Coronation Will Enrich the Ermine Trust

By W. B. Northrup

Most Gorgeous Coronation England Ever Saw

Calls for Distinctions Between Strawberry Leaves, Silver Balls, Jewels, Furs and Geegaws Which Lost Their Actual Meanings Generations Ago

London, Sept. 1910— Though King George's coronation will not take place till next June, active preparations, and even rehearsals for the great event are now well under way. Members of the English nobility are already making purchases of ermine and other necessary materials to be used during the elaborate and costly ceremonies. A significant fact in this connection is the present "'corner" in the ermine market; the price of this fur having gone up 50 per cent during the last month.

Ermine skins are now nearly $5 each instead $2.50, the price prevailing a few months ago. Crimson velvet, silk, and other materials necessary for the great state function are also rapidly advancing in price and court dress makers are rushing their orders so as to get them in before the further rise in price anticipated in the very near future. 

Several large firms of court jewelers have already received orders for fitting up crowns and coronets in conformity with the somewhat rigid requirements of English Court etiquette. 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia