“New” Tennis Etiquette, 1974

Many players are beginning as adults. They may get a fast run-through of the rules from a pro or a neighbor, and learn that swearing and racquet throwing are not acceptable even in social tennis. What they often don't get are the little subtleties of tennis etiquette that those who have played tennis since they were kids pick up by osmosis.

Do Your Companions Justice on the Court

Tennis has supposedly been a genteel sport with a stringent code. I have witnessed tournaments where spectators were hardly permitted to breathe for fear they might disturb the players. Billie Jean King remembers (March “Good Housekeeping”) that she was excluded from a picture after her first tournament because she had on white shorts instead of the prescribed tennis dress.

Yet a strange contradiction remains. Many of the premier players have been allowed to be big ugly bears on the courts. Tennis officials have now decided to get tough.

In September of 1973 the United States Lawn Tennis Association adopted a new policy. Players who commit flagrant deeds will now be penalized in some tournaments by having their scores reduced. Also on the books is a rule which permits tournament chairmen to withhold prize and-or expense money from players pending a decision on whether they will have to pay fines. Prohibited are swearing at an official; use of obscene language that can be heard by others; throwing a racquet; hitting the ball deliberately toward another player, a spectator or an official; and threats to anyone.

Tennis is an “in,” booming thing. There are 1,000 indoor-tennis clubs, and one more is being built every day. Public and private courts can be seen almost everywhere. Twenty million people now play the game...seven million more than two years ago.

Many players are beginning as adults. They may get a fast run-through of the rules from a pro or a neighbor, and learn that swearing and racquet throwing are not acceptable even in social tennis. What they often don't get are the little subtleties of tennis etiquette that those who have played tennis since they were kids pick up by osmosis.

I talked to Jack Stahr, chairman of the USLTA Umpire's Committee and author of the umpire's handbook, “A Friend at Court.” Stahr made the following suggestions:

1) Provide your share of the balls.

2) Don't walk onto another court to retrieve your ball. Wait until your neighbors have finished playing a point, then ASK for the ball.

3) If your opponent's first serve is no good, don't knock the ball back into his court if you can avoid it.

4) When one player plays a fast game and another plays slowly, a compromise should be worked out.

5) Don't make your opponent wait needlessly while you look for a third ball.

6) The server is responsible for knowing the location of the balls.

7) Players should announce the score at the end of each game, and perhaps several times during each game, to prevent arguments.

8) Don't stall.

9) Light-colored clothes are okay. Bold and clashing colors are “bush.”

10) When you are serving and the first serve goes in, don't discard the ball in a way that will distract your opponent.

11) If the server notices that his first serve might roll back into his opponent's court, he should not serve again until the first ball is removed from the court.

One final point. The tennis club where I play notified members last month that 500 towels had been lifted in five months. I suspect that people who steal towels aren't ready for the more subtle aspects of tennis etiquette. —By Maureen E. Reardon, 1974

🎾Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Table Decor

Candles are used only on the evening dinner table. Generally speaking, the preferred arrangement for candles is a balanced arrangement on either side of the centerpiece.

The Decorative Motif

This includes the flower or fruit arrangement, candle equipment, compotes if you use them, and other purely decorative items.

There's no reason why you shouldn't arrange them as soon as you have put on your cloth or placemats and before you set the individual places, if it is easier for you. I prefer to do it last, since I can arrange my flowers and other decorative items and place my candles according to the empty space that is left and see that they are in proportion to and do not overbalance the table-setting as a whole.

It is important, especially on a small table, to keep your central arrangement low, so that diners may see each other across the table and carry on a conversation if they wish.

Candles are used only on the evening dinner table. Generally speaking, the preferred arrangement for candles is a balanced arrangement on either side of the centerpiece. If you are setting a narrow refectory-type table you may place them at either end.

The arrangement of accessory decorative pieces such as compotes or added containers of flowers or fruit, figurines and so forth, must depend on the length and size of your table. 

Remember that crowding and overdisplay is awkward; it's poor taste and bad design. Space is important. It is restful to the eye and a foil for the beauty of your accessories and equipment. You will never go wrong if you set your table with restraint and simplicity. This is a good rule to remember. — Helen Sprackling, 1960

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Business Etiquette Advice

Attitude is important. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

Making Contacts 

Determine the type of job you want. Talk to your friends. What do they do? Discuss it with your instructors. Do research reading. What kind of a firm do you want to work in? Don't rely on your friends to get you a job. Use business associates for contacts. Use agencies. If you must make a "cold" contact, plan your approach. 

Attitude Is Important 

Don't be a clock-watcher. Try to do more than is asked of you. Make an effort to familiarize yourself with terms needed in office use. Admit mistakes. Think of your job as a stepping-stone to a better job. A job is what you make it. Sit and stagnate or develop it and in so doing advance yourself. You do yourself a favor by making yourself a better-than-average employee. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

You and the Business World 

Appearance gives color to an office. Cleanliness and neatness are more important than expensive clothes. Extreme lines and bright colors are distracting in an office. Wear simple, well-pressed clothes —no bobby socks or excessive jewelry. Give special attention to hair and hands. 

Habits 

Be on time. Gum chewing and nibbling are not allowed. Don't slouch. Avoid mannerisms—hair twisting, and leg winding. Use the office phone in emergency only. Smile, be pleasant. Don't complain. Listen, do not talk too much. 

Policy 

Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office. – The Corsair, Volume 17, 1945

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Sending Flowers

There is a right way to send flowers, just as there is proper etiquette in other forms of social decor. 

How to Send Flowers

Who doesn't like to receive or give flowers? In their natural loveliness, they more fully express love, sympathy, congratulations or other sentiment than words or gifts. However, there is a right way to send flowers, just as there is proper etiquette in other forms of social decor. 

A florist can do much to advise you. Talk to him about the individual or particular occasion, so that he can help you make a perfect choice. There are just a few simple, local rules to follow, according to the Florist's Information Council. —Healdsburg Tribune, Enterprise and Scimitar, 1952

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Retro Etiquette Advice

"Make sure you don't miss a spot dear. Have I told you how handsome you look in that apron?"

More Mid-20th Century 

"Modern Etiquette"

By Advice Columnist, Roberta Lee

From 1952

Q. Is it proper for the bride-groom's family to send announcements of the marriage to their own friends when the bride's family is not sending any? 
A. The bridegroom's family may properly notify their own friends by telephoning the society editors of the newspapers, as well as by writing personal letters to their relatives. But it would be questionable taste should they mail out engraved announcements. 

Q. Is it considered good manners for a man to examine the items on his check when dining with a girl in a restaurant? 
A. This is perfectly all right. But he should do so in a casual and unobtrusive manner. 

Q. When calling on a friend who is ill and one is not permitted to see him, is it proper to write a short message on one’s card? 
A. Yes. This is a very nice thing to do.


From 1962

Q. Is it considered good manners to enter someone’s home with a lighted cigarette in one's hand? 
A. No. 

Q. When a wedding gift is given to a bridegroom by his fellow workers in an office, should he thank them, or should his bride (who does not know them) thank them? 
A. He should thank them. 

Q. Will you please comment on the art of correct handshaking in general? 
A. In addition to the much-frowned-upon limp, flabby handshake, try to avoid the bone-crushing type, which is painful if the other person is wearing a ring; the pump-handle technique; and the refusal-to-let-go technique, which is usually reserved for women and is supposed to indicate great ardor. A good handshake is at elbow level, and is firm but brief.

From 1963

Q. Is the black-bordered type of mourning stationery still in good use? 
A. This has not been in “popular” usage for many years. If, however, you still feel that you'd like to use it, your paper should be white with a narrow black border ranging from 1\4 to 1/32 of an inch in width. 

Q. When attending a buffet dinner, is it permissible for a guest to revisit the serving table for a second helping? 
A. This is perfectly proper and expected. The big rule to remember is never to take more than you are sure you can eat. It would be very poor manners to heap your plate with food, and then leave half of it uneaten. 

From 1965

Q. Is it possible to correct someone's grammar without being impolite ? 
A. No one likes to be corrected in group conversation, and efforts at improvement of grammar and diction had better be reserved for members of one's family or friends who you are SURE will consider them as favors, and not insults.

Q. Is it all right to eat bananas with the fingers when at the table? 
A. No; they should be skinned on the dessert plate, then cut and eaten with the fork. —From The Madera Tribune

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia