Gilded Age Frugality Encouraged

“And let me furthermore mention two ways which eat out the annual income in a more sure and telling way than the corruption of moth and rust; extravagance in dress on the part of women, and tobacco on the part of men. Nothing can be said on these subjects that has not already been said, but I often think that the one sex winks at the extravagances of the other, on the principle that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and vice versa.” — Above, a Gilded Age, ornate sterling check-cutter by George Shiebler. Before checks were perforated, they came in large sheets, usually 3 at a time. Check cutters on desks became very helpful to businessmen. Oftentimes, they came in backs were marked with inches, meaning they doubled as rulers. From the Etiquipedia private collection.

How to Reduce Household Expenses

To the Editor of the New-York Times:Having read an article under this head in today's (Jan. 19) TIMES, I am anxious to state some other methods whereby to lessen the extravagances of living. In the first place, the wasteful ways of housekeepers and servants might be avoided, for as we learned in our first efforts at ‘Tis willful waste makes woeful want.” A large proportion of our people throw away what is left from one meal to another, from one day to an other, from one season to another; or if not at the moment willfully thrown away, the fragments are left so unprotected from dust and insects as to be utterly worthless when called for.

The same waste extends through out many households, from waste of food and clothing, to a careless treatment of all the articles required in housekeeping, so that what should last any family a lifetime needs to be replenished every year. The best carpets are swept with the street brooms, the lace and damask are left unprotected from dust, the little articles of vertu are knocked about by ruthless hands, the soft blankets, which every one must know are apt to be ruined in washing, are thrown upon the floor; the metal-ware is left wet, and the wooden-ware is left dry; the oil-cloths and painted wood-work are everlastingly scoured with soap, though this latter device for throwing money into the fire is supposed to be owing to a secret understanding with the house-painters.

I might prolong these enumerations, as it is not only when china breaks that the housekeeper feels undone, but I will pass to the remedy. Let every one understand what are the real needs of a household, put their own shoulder to the wheel as an assistant before ever dreaming of directing others; learn by actual experience the very best way of doing every kind of house-work, and at once some progress is made toward improving the state of affairs. Where every one is in a phlegmatic state of content, what need of change? 

It is a dissatisfaction with the present way that paves a new way. And let me furthermore mention two ways which eat out the annual income in a more sure and telling way than the corruption of moth and rust; extravagance in dress on the part of women, and tobacco on the part of men. Nothing can be said on these subjects that has not already been said, but I often think that the one sex winks at the extravagances of the other, on the principle that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and vice versa. 

It is not the taxation alone which makes it so difficult to live. Rents are somewhat reduced, bread and milk are less in price, meat is very much cheaper, butter is cheaper than during the war, tea and coffee are twenty percent, all cotton and worsted goods are cheaper, all cotton cheaper. Shoes would be cheaper if people would be content to cover the foot, but it the shoemaker must furnish enough extra leather to cover the leg also, should we wonder if he charges extra? Almost every shoe-store offers of good shoes of an old style at a low price.

I do not ask that our people should make dawdies of themselves, but that they should throw the blame at the right place-not at the country, not at the Government, but at that little altar of laziness and vanity in their own breasts. As to the tobacco drain, let any one notice the prices affixed to the cigars in the cases at the stores, then remark the number of those consumed in one day by the individual, and remember that in the year there are 365 days; let him notice these straws, and he will see why his money blows away, and why he has nothing to lay up against a rainy day.

I very much fear that when some of the weightier taxes are removed, our people will feel they have means to soar into still greater extravagance than ever. Ours is a soaring nation, its wings never having been clipped by such limitations as rule England and Germany, and it is only that rare quality, common sense, which can teach us to soar in the right direction. – A “Reader” in the New York Times, January 21, 1872

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Some 1930’s Etiquette Advice

 

Dating service from 1936:  Girls, find out the aversions of your escort. Your chance of winning more than an escort may be increased.

For Women Only

Probably men are just as much annoyed at the actions of the women whom they are entertaining as are the women at the men. They, too, fear to find much fault.

• A man does not like the use of the lipstick in public- especially at the restaurant table.
• He does not like the girl to offer him food from her plate.
• He does not like her to take her own fork and help him to something from her plate. Maybe the morsel, to him, is the sweeter because of where it came from, but he does not like such demonstration in public.
• He resents her use of the comb at table.
• Perhaps he does not admire too much rouge.

 Girls, find out the aversions of your escort. Your chance of winning more than an escort may be increased.

Odoriferous Foods

I once heard a young man say, “I should care whether my girl friend likes onions or not. If I want to eat onions, I eat them. If she doesn't like it, she knows what she can do.”

Such a person is the personification of selfishness. The poor girl may be helpless. She has no other boyfriend a the present time, and is forced to go out with Jack, who chooses to eat onions that evening. No one wants to be accused of having halitosis. Eating onions is courting a form of halitosis which is really more objectionable than the unavoidable kind, because the implied discourtesy irritates.

It is discourteous to order at a restaurant any food which through its odor may disturb others at table. Such foods are strong cheese, onions, chives, garlic. - From “Manners for Millions,” by Sophie C. Hadida, 1936

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Proposal Etiquette and the Sexes

The girl might want the man in the case to propose, according to the etiquette of the day she cannot suggest it without fearing to be called forward. In such an instance these two persons, through mutual timidity, fail to arrive at a successful marriage.

Why Shouldn't Women Propose?

 WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT IT?

Since the dim ages of antiquity women have had it bred into them that they must sit with folded hands until the “right man” comes along. For years it was considered a disgrace to be a spinster.. The woman who was fastidious enough to wait for the man she really could love and who never met that, man was popularly supposed to be a woman whom all men had refused. Consequently thousands upon thousands of women accepted the first man who. proposed, for fear of being called “old maids.” “Hobson's Choice,” the delightful character comedy which comes, to the Cort Theater next Monday evening, deals with the leap year idea of women proposing. The heroine “gets” the man of her choice, and the result is both happiness and prosperity for both of them.

The coming of “Hobson's Choice,” the discussions that it is sure to bring about, coupled with the fact that 1916 is Leap Year, have suggested to. The Call the idea of finding out just what its readers think about the propriety of “lassie asking lad.”Accordingly it solicits short essays on the subject, such articles not to be over 200 words in length. And it has purchased a box as first prize, a loge as second prize and, twenty pairs of choice orchestra seats to “Hobson's Choice” at the Cort Theater, which will be given to those who, in the judgment of The Call, have sent in the best and cleverest answers to the question, “Why shouldn't women propose?”

The answers should be sent immediately, for some of the best of them will be printed in The Call. The contest will close next Thursday at 12 o'clock noon, and articles received after that time cannot be entered in the contest. Viola Roach, the noted English actress, who is the leading woman of “Hobson's Choice,” and who does the proposing in the play, has some convictions of her own on the subject.

“There is no reason why men should have a monopoly on proposing,” says she. “Many men are as timid as women in, matters of the heart, especially in these days of the advanced woman. A man may meet an attractive girl, well poised, self-possessed, earning her own living, independent in every way, and while she may show a preference. for him he may fear to risk a valued friendship if he received a negative answer when he popped the question. And while the girl in the case might want the man in the case to propose, according to the etiquette of the day she cannot suggest it without fearing to be called forward. In such an instance these two persons, through mutual timidity, fail to arrive at a successful marriage.

“Women should feel thankful that tradition is being overthrown in the matter of proposals. A woman should be advanced enough in these days to propose, or rather suggest, a possible marriage to a man when she feels that in marriage lies the happiness of both of them. I think there would be fewer failures if the job of proposing were left in woman's hands. “Right now is the time to start, You won't have Leap Year for some time, so make hay while the sun shines, girls.”– San Francisco Call, 1916

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia