Of French Manners and Customs

Professor Barrett Wendell‘s scholarship has been shown in his college lectures and in noteworthy books– “English Composition,” “Life of Cotton Mather” and “Shakespeare, a Study in Elizabethan Literature.” It may be added that Professor Wendell will deliver two courses of lectures at the University of California, one on Elizabethan literature and the other on English composition.

Society in France

Professor Barrett Wendell, who was the first American lecturer at the French Universities, will have in the April Scribner, a discussion of “The Structure of Society in France.” It gives an account of French manners and customs, and the reasons for them. Professor Wendell’s point of view is that of a sympathetic admirer of the French people. 

He says: “The more you see of the French, the more deeply you are impressed not only with the general regularity of their lives, but with the surprising fact that this general regularity seems to have a very strong hold on their affections.” – San Francisco Call, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Social Custom

The only exception to the old and present day rule is in the case of husband and wife. In such cases the husband gives his left arm to his wife. The origin of this is to show the domination of man over woman. 

"It's a Matter of Etiquette"

Should a man offer the right or left arm to a woman?  In social circles just now there is going on quite a discussion regarding this question.  To one’s wife, one gives the left arm.  To all other women, the right arm.  It is now being urged that the social custom be changed, and that man be considered quite correct should he offer his left arm to all women.  This question of etiquette, like so many others, originated in France centuries ago.


Shakespeare writes of a man “as polite as a French courtier." The "grand Maitres de maintien" decreed some ages ago that a man must give his right arm to members of the fair sex because one always places on the right hand those whom one wishes to honor.  French gallants, just like the American men of today, held the daughters of Eve in high honor.  At a ball when inviting a woman to dance you must give her the right arm, and after the dance, in promenading, you do not change the arm. It is the same rule at all functions, or even when walking in the street.


The only exception to the old and present day rule is in the case of husband and wife.  In such cases the husband gives his left arm to his wife.  The origin of this is to show the domination of man over woman.  It is now being urged that the right be dethroned in favor of the universal use of the left.  The argument is that in such case the man has the use of his good right arm for the defense of his fair companion, and to assist her the better if slipping or falling.  The coming season ought to definitely settle the question. –Sacramento Union, 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

British Royal Etiquette History and Dining

ROYALTY OF OLD BIG EATERS 

Feast at Court of King Richard II Called for Vast Amount of Food

England in the Canterbury days ate much in the French style. Spoons and fingers were good manners and carving was new-fangled. If it was, in fact, practiced to any extent at all. 

Richard II and the Duke of Lancaster once dined in London with the Bishop of Durham. The King, the Duke and the Bishop and their retinues and guests called for 120 sheep, 14 salted oxen and 2 fresh, 1,240 pigs, 12 boars, 210 geese, 720 hens, 50 capons "of hie geze" and eight dozen other capons, 50 swans and 100 dozen pigeons; rabbits and curlews by the score, 11,000 eggs, 12 gallons of cream and 120 gallons of milk.

The usual forms of address for a King for much of the "Plantagenet era" in England were ‘your highness’ and ‘your Grace’. Richard II introduced the terms ‘your majesty’ and ‘your high majesty’ to the court vocabulary, having had a grander and more elaborate vision of kingship than his predecessors.
During the King's later reign, there are accounts of Richard II sitting in splendor on his throne after dinner, while glaring around the room at the courtiers assembled there. It is said that, whomever his gaze rested upon was to fall to their knees in humble appreciation of his royal awesomeness. Eventually wearing thin, in 1399 Richard was deposed by his cousin, Henry Bolingbroke, who took the throne as Henry IV, which abruptly ended an unbroken succession of Plantagenet kings since the 12th century.

Such was a royal feast, says the Detroit News, and every day, whether fast day or eating day, had four meals. Breakfast at seven, dinner at ten in the morning, supper at four and livery at eight. The hour of dinner is said to show the development of cooking in any given country. But there were Chaucerian refinements, nevertheless, aside from dishes of flowers; permissible foods imitating the form of meats on fast days, hen eggs being counterfeited and clever things such as making two capons out of one by skinning it and stuffing the skin. 

There were, besides, the points of etiquette; a pig for a lord should be endored. His cabbage thickened with egg, not crumbs; a pike served whole to a Lord, but cut for the commonality. And mint sauce has a pedigree reaching to Edward I. – From Detroit News as reprinted in Sausalito News, 1924

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Notes on French Etiquette

"Bad table manners, my dear Gigi, have broken up more households than infidelity." ~ Aunt Alicia instructing Gigi on how to properly eat ortolan.

The etiquette in the best old families of France as regards young girls is very strict, says a foreign correspondent, and at 17 they begin to be seen at their mothers’ “at homes,” but at 18 only they make their debut in society, beginning with the opera, Lenten receptions, and what are now generally called “bals blancs.”

The French girl never has any cards of her own; when she is what they call in England “out” her name is written below her mother’s. The letters addressed to her are always delivered first to her parent's hands, who passes them to her opened or unopened, as she thinks fit. 

She wears no jewels beyond one row of pearls around her neck. She rides early before the fashionable hour at the Bois, escorted by her father; her brother may take her out driving, and she is even permitted now to take the reins, a liberty which ten years ago would have stamped her as outrageously fast. French girls of almost any rank, including the bourgeoisie, never walk out alone. They marry young, presumably before 20. —  Marin Journal, 1887

Professional etiquette prevents French judges and judicial officers from riding in omnibuses. — Sausalito News, 1899

"French nobility is touchy!" say the Brits ~ Gabriel Paul Othenin de Cléron , Comte d'Haussoville

Much Bitter Comment Caused by the English Ambassador's Mistake in Precedence

PARIS— Even an ambassador must not tamper with the rules of precedence of the French' nobility, which, since there is no longer a French peerage, are based upon birth and not upon rank. Sir Francis Bertie, the British ambassador, innocently gave serious offense to the Faubourg St. Germain at an embassy dinner party. Among the guests were the Marquis de Ganay and the Comte d'Haussonville.

Thinking of the etiquette of precedence used at home, Sir Francis put the marquis in a more honorable place than the comte and thus committed an unpardonable social solecism. The ambassador's blunder was the subject of much bitter comment in the Faubourg. 

The heinousness of his offense will be at once seen when it is explained that the Marquis de Ganay, though ranking higher than the comte, is a person of yesterday, chiefly notable for his fine racing stable and his friendship with King Edward VII, while the Comte d'Haussonville is the representative of an extremely old and famous family of Lorraine, and is a member of the Academie Francaise.

French Légion d'honneur

An Usher Showed Sculptor or Honor is Worn — Rodin in Quandary on Use of French Decoration 

Paris — Although the decoration of the legion of honor was not conferred. on M. Rodin, the sculptor, by an usher at the Elysee, it was the usher who really placed it on the sculptor and showed him how to wear it. 

M. Rodin is not very, strong on decorations, and had never worn evidence of the honor conferred on him. When he accepted an invitation for dinner at the Elysee this week, some kind friend reminded him that, etiquette required him to wear the insignia of the Legion of Honor. Each friend of whom he asked advice, had a different opinion as to how the plaque was to be worn, so Rodin wrapped it in tissue paper, carried it with him and asked the chief usher to adjust it in the proper place. 

This was done just outside the door of the dining room, much to the horror of assembled guests. —San Francisco Call, 1910

Depiction of Catholic priests blessing a rail engine in Calais, France ~1848

The Frenchmen are easily the politest people in the world, and so the new regulations as to the conduct of railroad servants when the President of the republic is a passenger, will not bear heavily on them.

Every official, from the highest to the lowest, is required to doff his cap and remain bareheaded until the President leaves the station. The station-master alone is permitted to approach the door of the Presidential saloon carriage, and it is ordered that he also shall remain bareheaded while holding it open. These are only a few of the long list of points of etiquette which have taken the form at a ministerial decree. —  The Marin County Tocsin, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

French Etiquette Campaign

A group of volunteers called “Greeters” are out to prove the French are a friendly people who want to share all the delights their country has to offer.

France has a reputation for giving visitors a brusque and even sullen reception. But a group of volunteers called “Greeters” are out to prove the French are a friendly people who want to share all the delights their country has to offer.

Despite welcoming more tourists every year than any other country in the world, France has a reputation for sometimes giving visitors a brusque and less-than-friendly reception.

The French volunteers are part of the “Global Greeter Network” (GGN), a movement that began in New York in 1992 and spread to France by 2007.

Paris’s Greeters – who speak a variety of languages – meet visitors (in groups of one to six) after they have arranged to meet through the group’s website.

They show them what their own districts have to offer, from cafés and restaurants, to galleries, parks, local architecture and landmarks. 

They won’t ask for money, or arrange visits to paying locations where they take a commission. All financial support for the network comes through donations and from sponsorship from local government and businesses.

History of the Greeter Concept

Logo for the Parisian Global Network Greeters.   The volunteers changing France’s ‘moody’ image.

Founded in 1992 as the first "welcome visitor" program of its kind, Big Apple Greeter in New York City grew from friendly exchanges founder Lynn Brooks had with people she met. Lynn wanted the world to know New York City as she did: a great big small town with diverse neighborhoods, mom-and-pop stores, fun places to dine, and friendly residents who go out of their way to help an out-of-towner feel welcome.

The concept was a big success and has spread all over the world. As the number of programs grew, Global Greeter Network was formed as a voluntary association of independent welcoming programs. All the programs are free, offer greeter services as an individual or small group experience, and are characterized by enthusiastic, local residents who love their home city and volunteer to conduct these visits.

The GGN now counts 51 city destinations in 18 countries. Nearly half these destinations are in France, and Paris has more volunteer “Greeters” – 360 – than any city in the world.

Don't think it is simply the tourists who are annoyed by the selfish or snooty behavior of the French.  A “top 10” list of the “most annoying behaviors” of a study done by the RATP, had French commuters with “loud, mobile phone chatter” topping that list.  The study was done merely 2 years after foreigners visiting Paris had voted Parisians “the rudest people in Europe.” – Courtesy “Etiquette Facts” Blog

France begs its citizens to lighten up with tourists...

The world's most popular city, Paris, is wrestling with its reputation as the rudest place on earth for tourists. French authorities have rolled out yet another plea for locals to refrain from the Gallic snarl in encounters with foreign visitors.

Speaking at the launch of a new master-plan for tourism at a national conference, Commerce Minister Fleur Pellerin said France needed to “recover a sense of hospitality”, as “too often we mistake service for servility”.

Accompanying her was Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius, who said the government now aimed to attract 100 million tourists a year compared to 83 million in 2012.

Other researchers have reported that visitors thought it had the least friendly locals, the most unpleasant taxi drivers and the most aggressive waiters. —From how to live in france.com

Fabius, however, warned that the famed French surliness was a pothole on the road to tourism victory: “The logic is simple. An unhappy tourist is a tourist who never comes back.”

No doubt there are many Parisians, in particular, who would not find that a matter for regret. Every summer they must endure an invasion of big bottoms in bad shorts, booming foreign voices and boors who fail to realise that under the French code of courtesy, any approach from a stranger should begin with a polite “Bonjour” – and be followed by at least a minimal effort to start the conversation in French.

But the fact remains that international surveys have repeatedly found that foreign visitors rate the French capital as one of the world’s most hostile places - although France is currently also the world’s most visited country.

The TripAdvisor website found foreigners voted it the rudest city in Europe, and other researchers have reported that visitors thought it had the least friendly locals, the most unpleasant taxi drivers and the most aggressive waiters.

Parisians also find Parisians rude?

A survey two years ago by Paris transport operator RATP found that 97% of Parisians believed their fellow citizens “were ill-mannered and lacked civility”

On the other hand, Parisians themselves reportedly do not enjoy Parisian manners either. A survey two years ago by Paris transport operator RATP found that 97 per cent of Parisians believed their fellow citizens “were ill-mannered and lacked civility” – statistics which do not bear too much looking into, as they suggest that those complaining must be rude themselves.

In desperation, last year the Paris Tourist Board issued service industry workers a “politeness manual”. Three years earlier, the city paid “smile ambassadors” to be friendly to tourists at the city’s big attractions. Pellerin told the conference that the situation was no joke: “Tourism is not an amusing or a secondary matter … the stakes are the same as exports.”

The issue has become more pressing as the French economy languishes with high unemployment. It is further highlighted by the fact that bitter rival London now claims it has unseated Paris as the world’s top destination for foreign tourists. While French authorities insist the City of Light still holds the crown, in 2012 London was closing in; there were 29 million visitors to central Paris, which does not include the palaces of Versailles and Fontainebleau, and 27.6 million to Greater London, a much larger geographic area.

Fabius announced other measures to help boost Parisian appeal. The government aims to classify more areas as tourist zones, which would allow them to open on Sundays, particularly the area around the popular department stores such as Galeries Lafayette and Printemps.

The move is strongly opposed by shop assistants’ unions, which are striking this week over the issue. But Fabius says, “A tourist who finds the shop closed on Sundays will not wait until Thursday.”

Main Article texts by France 24's Tony Todd and Karen Kissane, and from the Global Greeter Network website

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Paris Metro Etiquette

Paris’ public transport body has released a special “politeness” manual to reduce uncouth behaviour in the metro, with a list of “commandments” on how to improve civility from helping clueless tourists to ensuring body odour is not wafted around the carriage.

Arms should be kept by your side at all times on the Paris Metro

“In the context of a global theme of incivility on public transport,” reads the forward, RATP solicited ideas for a guide to manners for our times. From more than 2,000 entries, it culled a dozen ways to be polite, helpful, courteous and not a letch. The result: a clever, tongue-in-cheek 32-page e-book, filled with old-fashioned line drawings and commentary by local personalities.

The guide advises travelers not to play music loudly on the Metro 

The online "manual on savoir-vivre for the modern traveller" includes an array of tips split into four categories: "helpfulness", "courtesy", "manners" and "politeness", drawn up from among more than 2,000 suggestions from the general public.

The first "commandment" on the platform defines courtesy as "understanding that the huge crossed out cigarette on the platform is not a work of art but a ban on smoking".

The "manners" section invites Parisians to help out lost tourists "in Bermuda shirts with a metro map in one hand and the other hand in their hair". "It's worth losing two minutes of your time for a good cause if only to hear the (foreign) passenger struggle to pronounce (the metro stops) 'Trinité d'Estienne d'Orves' or 'La Motte Piquet-Grenelle'," the accompanying text says.

Staring at beautiful women is rude, the online Metro guide says 

• The key etiquette for the Paris Metro is:
• Not playing music too loudly through headphones
• Resisting the temptation to stare for a long time at beautiful women
• Holding back from starting a fight with someone who’s just stepped on your toes
• Loud phone conversations should also be avoided
• Old lady’s bags should be carried up stairs
• Armpits should be covered by arms and not exposed to the carriage
• Handkerchiefs not just used to wave someone off with, but to sneeze into.
• Last but not least – the Metro is not to be mistaken for a lavatory.

Click on link to read ‘Manuel du savoir-vivre à l’usage du voyageur moderne’ – or ‘politeness manual for the modern traveller’ - Paris metro bosses release 'politeness manual'

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia