Early 20th C. Basic Table Manners

In little more than a century, basic table manners have changed somewhat. Though elbows on the tables and chewing with one’s mouth open are still frowned upon, cellphones (or mobile phones), have become ubiquitous at restaurant and dining tables around the world, much to the dismay of etiquette professionals.

Practice Basic Table Manners

• Never take your seat until the lady of the house is seated. 
• Never lounge on the table with your elbows, nor tip backward in your chair. 
• Never play with your knives, forks or glasses, but cultivate repose at the table. It is an aid to digestion. 
• Never tuck your napkin into your vest, yoke or collar. It is unfolded once and laid across the knees without a flourish. 
• After the meal, at a restaurant or formal dinner, lay your napkin unfolded at your place. 
• If you are a  guest for a time in the household and will remain for another meal, you may fold your napkin in its original creases. 
• Never put the end of a spoon into your mouth, sip everything from the side of the spoon and do this noiselessly. 
• Never put your knife in your mouth nor use a spoon when a fork will serve. 
• Forks are now used for eating ice cream, and salad is folded or cut with the side of a fork, never with the knife. 
• Even small vegetables like peas are eaten with a fork. 
• Never hold your knife and fork up in the air when your host is serving you afresh. Lay them on one side of the plate when you send it to the host by servant or your neighbor at table. 
• Never leave your spoon in coffee or tea cup. Lay it on the saucer. 
• Never cool food by blowing upon it. Wait until it becomes cool enough to eat. 
• Never take a second helping at a large and formal dinner. You will find yourself eating alone. 
• Never make yourself conspicuous in any way by aiding the host or hostess in serving, unless especially asked to do so, or in passing dishes when servants are provided for that purpose. 
• Never push back your plate and finger crumbs at the end of the meal. It indicates undue haste. 
• Remember that — Large pieces of bread or cracker are broken into smaller pieces before being buttered and carried to the mouth. 
• Cake may be broken and eaten like bread or crackers or it may be eaten with a fork. 
• Celery, olives, radishes, salted nuts, bonbons, preserved ginger and other trifles are eaten from the fingers, but berries, melons, oranges and grape fruit must be eaten with a spoon. 
• Bananas are generally eaten with a fork, peaches, apples and pears are peeled, quartered and cut into small pieces and then picked up with the fingers. 
• Grapes and small plums are eaten from the fingers and the stones or pips taken into the hand and carried to the plate, never dropped from the lips.
• Prune seeds are best pressed out with the spoon before the fruit is eaten and then laid to one side on the plate. — Los Angeles Herald, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Table Etiquette Explained

If salt is liked with celery or radishes, it should be placed on the bread and butter plate and the relish dipped in it as needed.– Photo source Instagram

There seems to be quite a difference of opinion as to the proper forms of etiquette for the table. Simplicity and the thing that seems easiest to do should be the guiding rule, but some customs have become fixed and are generally accepted in all civilized countries; therefore, it would seem wise to accept them, even though in some ways they may seem cumbersome. It is always correct to serve on the left of the diner because it is the only comfortable way for the right-handed person. It is the custom as well to remove dishes from the left side rather than from the right, which might seem easier. It has become so subconsciously grounded in everyone’s mind that the removing of plates is done always on the left side, that any divergence from this is bound to bring about collision with the right hand of the diner. 

The question is often asked how to remove fish bones and the pits of fruit from the mouth gracefully. It seems to me the most inconspicuous way is to push the bone or stone well forward with the tongue and gently remove it with the forefinger and thumb to the side of the plate. Prune pits and melon seeds naturally slip into the spoon held very close to the lips and are then placed noiselessly on the edge of the plate. The bread and butter plates are placed on the left of the large plate forward. If salt is liked with celery or radishes, it should be placed on the bread and butter plate and the relish dipped in it as needed. In case a salad is served with the main course, that is placed on the left also, but on a line with the larger plate. All beverages, are, of course, placed on the right. 

When the man of the house is doing the carving on the table and there is no maid to serve, it would seem easier to have the vegetables placed before the mistress. In many homes, the man of the house serves both meat and vegetables. This is, however, a matter of convenience and taste. If there is a maid and carving is done on the table, the hot plates are placed before the carver and the meat is served, the first going to the mistress of the house and the next to the guest of honor. When all the meat is served, the waitress will pass the vegetables, beginning with the hostess, the idea being that the hostess is the one who gives the signal to begin to eat. We used to be taught as children that it was bad form to begin eating the meat until all the vegetables were served, but this has been done away with by a good many people who prefer to eat their meat while it is hot rather than to wait until all the vegetables have been passed. But in all instances, the hostess gives the signal to begin to eat.  – By Florence Austin Chase, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dining Etiquette~Soup to Nuts

Cake is broken into pieces, the size of a mouthful, and then eaten with fingers or fork.

Apples should be pared, cut into small pieces, and eaten with finders or forks.

Artichokes are eaten with the fingers, taking off leaf by leaf and dipping into the sauce. The solid portion is broken up and eaten with a fork.

Asparagus stalks may be taken between the finger and the thumb, if they are not too long, or the green end may be cut off and eaten with a fork, scraping off with the knife what is desired from the remaining part.
             

Banana skin should be cut off with a knife, peeling from the top down, while holding in the hand. Small pieces should be cut or broken off, and taken in the fingers, or they may be cut up and eaten with a fork.

Bread should be broken into small pieces, buttered, and transferred with the fingers to the mouth. The bread should be placed on the small plate provided for the purpose.

Cake is broken into pieces, the size of a mouthful, and then eaten with fingers or fork.

Celery is eaten with the fingers.

Cheese is first cut into small bits, then placed on pieces of bread or cracker, and lifted by the fingers to the mouth.

Corn on the cob is eaten with the fingers of one hand. A good plan is to cut off the kernels and eat them with the aid of a fork.

Crackers should be broken into small pieces and eaten with the fingers.

Eggs are usually broken into a glass and eaten with a spoon.

Finger-Bowl: The fingers should be dipped in the water and gently rubbed together, and dried on the napkins.

Fish should be eaten with a fork held in the right hand and a piece of bread held in the left hand. The bones should be removed from the mouth with the aid of a fork or with the fingers. If by the latter, great delicacy should be used.

Fruit (all raw fruit), except melons, berries, and grapefruit, are eaten with the fingers. Canned fruits are eaten with a spoon.

Grapes should be eaten one by one, and the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the half−closed hand and then transferred to the plate.

Knfe and Fork: The knife is always held in the right hand, and is only used for cutting the food. The fork is used not only in eating fish, meat, vegetables, and made dishes, but also ices, frozen puddings, melons, salads, oysters, clams, lobsters, and terrapin. The knife should never be used to carry food to the mouth.

Lettuce leaves should not be cut, but folded up with a fork, and then lifted to the mouth. In the event of these being too large for this treatment, they should be broken into suitable pieces with the fork.

Olives are eaten with the fingers.
                                         

Oranges served in divided sections, sweetened, and the seeds removed, should be eaten with the fork. If served whole, cut into suitable portions. Remove seed and skin.

Peaches should be quartered and the quarters peeled, then taken up by the fingers and eaten.

Peas are eaten with a fork.

Plums should be eaten one by one, and the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the half−closed hand and then transferred to the plate.

Salt is best taken up with the tip of the knife.

Salted Nuts are eaten with the fingers.

Seeds should be removed from the mouth with the aid of a fork, or dropped into the half−closed hand.

Soup should be taken from the side of the spoon without noise and without the plate being tipped. Men with mustaches are privileged in this respect, and may take the soup from the end of the spoon.

Spoons: The spoon should never be in the cup while drinking, but should be left in the saucer. It is used in eating grapefruit, fruit salads, small and large fruit (when served with cream), puddings, jellies, porridges, preserves, and boiled eggs.

Table Etiquette: It is correct to take a little of all that is offered, though one may not care for it. Bend slightly over the plate when carrying the food to the mouth, resuming upright position afterward.

When drinking from a cup or glass, raise it gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents. Do not empty the vessel at one draught.

Guests should not amuse themselves by handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or leaning their arms on the table. They should sit back in their chairs and assume an easy position.

A guest at a dinner should not pass a plate or any article to another guest, or serve the viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess.

Upon leaving the table, push the chair back far enough to be out of the way of others.

Accidents, or anything that may be amiss at the table, should be unobserved by a guest unless he is the cause of it. In that event some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness should be made and no more. The waiter should attend to the matter at once. If a fork or a spoon is dropped it should not be picked up by the guest, but another used, or ask the waiter to provide one.

Conversation: Aim at bright and general conversation, avoiding all personalities and any subject that all cannot join in. This is largely determined by the character of the company. The guests should accommodate themselves to their surroundings.

Toothpicks: Toothpicks should not be used in public. If necessity requires it, raise the napkin over the mouth, with the hand behind it, using the toothpick as quickly as possible.

Wine: A guest not caring for wine should turn down his glass and leave it in that position, or a mere sign of dissent when it is offered is sufficient.

From The Book of Good Manners, W.C. Green

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia