Table Manners of Old France

First Gentleman of his realm... Louis XIV was also known as Louis the Great (Louis le Grand) or the Sun King (le Roi-Soleil). He was a Monarch of the House of Bourbon who ruled as King of France from 1643 until his death in 1715. His reign of 72 years and 110 days is the longest of any Monarch of a major country in Europe's history.

Could we restore for half an hour the dinner table of old France and obtain half a dozen instantaneous photographs of a Royal banquet at any era between the reigns of Francis I and Louis Quatorze such a “cataract of laughter” would be heard as might disturb the serenity of Louis in paradise. The Duchess, her napkin tied securely round her neck, would be seen mumbling a bone, the noble Marquis surreptitiously scratching himself, the belle Marquise, withdrawing her spoon from her lips to help a neighbor to sauce with it, another fair creature scouring her plate with her bread, a gallant courtier using his doublet or the tablecloth as a towel for his fingers and two footmen holding a yard of damask under a lady’s chin while she emptied her goblet at a draft. During a feast of inordinate length it was sometimes necessary to substitute a clean cloth for the one which the carelessness or bad manners of the guests had reduced to a deplorable condition. —In the Amador Ledger, “An Idler In Old France,” 1908

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Tact in French Entertaining of 1907

Instead of sitting at the ends of the table, where they are far apart, the host and the hostess sit opposite one another in the middle, where the table is narrowed and where they are able at once to keep in touch with each other and easily to talk with the guests on either side of each.

The Tact With Which Guests Are Brought Into a Social Group

Every one knows his position and his cue, and every hostess knows that part of her duty is to indicate and to give them, says Professor Barrett Wendell in Scribner’s. Perhaps the most characteristic instance of the way in which this affects social conduct is what generally happens at a dinner party. Instead of sitting at the ends of the table, where they are far apart, the host and the hostess sit opposite one another in the middle, where the table is narrowed and where they are able at once to keep in touch with each other and easily to talk with the guests on either side of each. Thus a company of twelve is at once brought into a single social group, and the outlying members of a larger party are not so far away that they cannot readily listen to the general talk or even take part in it. And the talk is always general, addressed no doubt to one or another of the company, as the tact of the hosts happens to find pleasantest, but never broken into a system of separate confidential dialogues, as is generally the case at home. 

A French dinner is not noisy any more than is a French drawing room. But in either case the deeply subdued tone of voice prevalent in England and among the better sort of Americans would be almost a breach of polite manners. Every social function in France, even to the most informal, has a social character far more pronounced than ours. The individual is there to enjoy himself. But he is also there to play his part. In consequence, all social intercourse in France has a quality less personal, less confidential, somewhat more reserved, than an American is used to. Whoever, even in private places, finds himself in the presence of his fellow beings conducts himself in many ways as if he were in public. The French are in no way conscious of this phase of their manners. It is as normal to them as it is novel to an American visitor. And it results in a general and cheerful, though not quite intimate, conviviality which makes our own manners seem in contrast somewhat melancholy in their dual isolation. —Morning Tribune, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

19th C. French vs Scottish Etiquette

The French use the same knife and fork for every dish and keep them when the plates are changed; and the Misses were horrified to see that the servants who took their plates coolly put their knife and fork on the cloth beside them, and did not give them a clean one until the dessert was served!
- photo source, Pinterest

In this tale, the French shine and the Scottish, pale in a comparison of good manners...

“A number of yours ago two Scotch ladies paid a visit to Paris, accompanied by their brother whose business let him to go thither every year. He was slightly acquainted with several Parisian families, but, not speaking French fluently, he had little domestic intercourse with them. The two Misses D––– , on their arrival, expected that their brother's acquaintances would call on them, as they had been made aware of their arrival; but not a soul came near them. They did not know that in France the etiquette is for the stranger to call first—precisely the reverse of what is the practice in England; besides which, they were ignorant of the fact that the French do not cultivate the acquaintance of foreigners, rarely giving them invitations to their houses.  

“Receiving no attentions, the ladies found Paris to be rather dull, their only amusement being sight-seeing. One day, walking with their brother in the Champs-Élysées  be introduced them to a lady whom they chanced to meet. Taking pity on their isolation, she invited them to dine with her on the following day. Here was something good at last. The invitation was accepted. Next day they took care to lie in good time, equipped in their best, in low, pink silk dresses, short sleeves, and white satin shoes, to the great astonishment of their hostess, who took it for granted that they were going to a ball afterward. They were equally surprised to find her in the same high dark silk which she had worn when out walking. 

“Dinner was served, and commenced with the national pot au feu (soup) and bouilli (the beef from which the soup is made), and which the lady carved in shapeless lumps, not in thin slices, as in England; stewed beef with macaroni, vol au vent, fricandeau, and roast turkey followed in quick succession. The lady carved small pieces of each dish, and put them 0n a plate, which was handed round to each guest to help themselves. The Scotch ladies, accustomed to eating potatoes with every dish, were puzzled to find none forthcoming. After the meat came a dish of green peas and salad. The French use the same knife and fork for every dish and keep them when the plates are changed; and the Misses D—– were horrified to see that the servants who took their plates coolly put their knife and fork on the cloth beside them, and did not give them a clean one until the dessert was served. 

“They were greatly perplexed by the variety of dishes served, the absence of potatoes and the arrival of green peas after the meat had been taken away! The dinner was good, but the oddity of the arrangement was incomprehensible. It was a violation of all ordinary conceptions. After dinner the gentlemen led the ladies back to the drawing-room, and cafe noir was served. Strong black coffee, without milk or cream, was not very palatable to the Scotch ladies, though they found the liqueurs which succeeded it —creme de moka and creme de vanille — excellent. After sitting chatting for about half an hour, the hostess astonished the Misses by announcing her intention of going for a walk, it being summer, and the days long; and, said she, looking hesitatingly at the evening costumes of her visitors: ‘As I presume you are going to a soiree, I am sorry I cannot have the pleasure of your company.’ 

“The Scotch ladies were too shy, and too little acquainted to converse in French to ask for explanations, but they thought the lady very rude to turn them out of her house in this cool way; they had not ordered their carriage until half-past ten, so they begged her to allow her servant to fetch one for them, and returned to their hotel, marvelling at the unmannerly impudence of French ladies. They did not know that a casual invitation to dinner does not necessarily imply staying the evening; and no French lady would wear a low dress for even after a ceremonious dinner-party. Full-dress is only de rigueur for a ball or a very large soiree, and then only for young girls. Ladies dress more according to their ago in France than in England; and you never see old, or even middle-aged ladies dressed like young ones; or, if you do, you may be sure that they are not French.” – The Mariposa Gazette, 1875

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Color and French Dog Petiquette

Oh, vanity... Gilding the lap dog made him not only golden, but ill-mannered, haughty and vain! Other colors brought out different temperaments and behaviors. – “It was a day or two after this banquet that the modern Midas caused his wife's lap-dog to be richly gilded, to the immense amazement of that personage, and, apparently, to the great satisfaction of the animal, which, naturally of a most affectionate disposition, became so haughty that it would suffer no one to touch it, and only regained its usual good temper as the gilding wore off its fur.” – Photo source, AKC.com 

The fashion of dyeing lap dogs, and the other species of canine pets so beloved of Parisian dames, so as to match the toilette of their mistresses, which is decidedly gaining ground here as a novelty, appears not to be absolutely new. At all events, the chronicles of thirty years ago speak of a chemist who, by means of coloring matter which he injected into their veins, succeeded in giving to the animals submitted to his process any color desired by their owners. Sky-blue pigs, lilac calves, green dogs, yellow donkeys, and peach-colored sheep, are said to have issued living from his laboratory. But the new process is much simpler, being simply an ingenious method of painting the animal's hair, or, if preferred, of gilding it. The painting is easily done, and as it can be washed off with equal ease, the four-footed adjuncts of fashionable ladyhood, may be brought out every day in new shades of color, to correspond with the prevailing hue of their owner’s toilette.

The rich banker Milland, whose sudden acquisition of an enormons fortune, through a succession of bold and lucky speculations, created so much talk in this envious city, some fifteen years ago, and who, at the time when he made his sudden leap from poverty to wealth, seemed hardly to know what to do with his gold, is said to have been the first to strike out the idea of this style of ornamentation. Certain it is that the new millionaire, not satisfied with gilding all the inside of his hotel, at the Place St. Georges, caused all the exterior mouldings of that highly ornate dwelling to be gilded also, as all passers can assure themselves to this day, by occular examination ; and that having put his establishment into a state of gilding that provoked the Parisians into calling his hotel “The Temple of the Golden Calf,” he gave a grand dinner to the principal literary and financial notorieties of the capital, at which not only his son and himself were covered with gold chains, rings, etc, but the rough rinds of some very large melons, that figured, according to the etiquette of French dinners, immediately after the soup, were thickly gilded down each seam. 

It was a day or two after this banquet that the modern Midas caused his wife's lap-dog to be richly gilded, to the immense amazement of that personage, and, apparently, to the great satisfaction of the animal, which, naturally of a most affectionate disposition, became so haughty that it would suffer no one to touch it, and only regained its usual good temper as the gilding wore off its fur. The new fashion of coloring dogs is said to have a similar power of changing their tempers; the same dog, for instance, being morose when painted chocolate-color, proud and quarrelsome when painted red, insolent when painted yellow, gay when painted pink, capricious when painted green, and sentimental when painted sky-blue! Dark-blue makes them ill and renders them excessively unhappy. The other colors do not seem to be injurious, and Paris is full of extremes whilst this folly is going on. – Letters from Paris, 1865

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia