One Chinese President’s History

His post as President of the Republic was one of honor, not of power. Etiquette and ceremony in Chinese public and private life have been matters of moment for centuries that transcend memory. Lin Sen received ambassadors. He swapped greetings with foreign governments and not infrequently with President Roosevelt.— Public domain image of Lin Sen, President of China since 1931 courtesy of Wikipedia 

A Chinese Sage

Lin Sen, President of China since 1931, made no great noise in the world throughout his lifetime. His post as President of the Republic was one of honor, not of power. Etiquette and ceremony in Chinese public and private life have been matters of moment for centuries that transcend memory. Lin Sen received ambassadors. He swapped greetings with foreign governments and not infrequently with President Roosevelt. He was rigidly honest. He had few relatives and was guilty of no nepotism. He was an early member of the Kuomintang, an active opponent of the once famous Yuan Shihkai. He held a number of offices in his long career and had come to be one of the political elders, but his personal traits are more engaging than his official work.

At first a pupil of American missionaries, he got an excellent worldly education by living in San Francisco. He spoke English well, tempered with American slang and combining American with Chinese humor. He had the tastes of an artist. One of his favorite studies was the handwriting of the ancient Chinese sages. He turned the ground story of a medieval tower into a studio. There he spent many quiet hours, brushing onto sheets of bamboo paper the antique characters.

In Nanking before the war his goatee, black cape and gray felt hat were familiar to everybody, respected by everybody. By the dealers in curios he was revered; not so much as a client as because of his acknowledged taste. Whatever article he praised was at once promoted in rank and price. For all the troubles that he saw or took part in, his must have been a fortunate and tranquil life. He was thoroughly democratic. He never would consent to a bodyguard. In his last years at Chungking he rode about in the same reliable black sedan that was a well-known "property" in the scenery of Nanking. "There goes the old man," said the people of Nanking. And his greetings to his people was noticeable for its slight West Coast twang.— Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1943

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

China's 1st Finishing School

‘You have to learn how to behave properly,’ says Rebecca Li, the president of Institute Sarita

Students learn deportment and the polite way to eat an orange, among other things.

In a secluded courtyard, a lesson in deportment is under way. Some female students, each one with a book balanced on her head, are attempting to walk a few steps without the book falling off.

One volume crashes to the ground, but most of the students make it to the other side of the space without mishap, to the approval of the smiling instructor.

But there's an unusual aspect to this class. It is not happening in Europe, home to many of the world's best-known finishing schools. Instead, it is taking place in Beijing. Welcome to Institute Sarita, which it claims is China's first finishing school.

It is the brainchild of Sara Jane Ho. A native of Hong Kong, she went to boarding school and university in the USA. After working in investment banking, and for a non-governmental organisation (NGO) in China, she spent some time studying at a Swiss finishing school.

Inspired by what she had learnt, on her return to China she decided to set up a school of her own.

‘Etiquette shouldn't be Chinese or French, it shouldn't be for the rich or for the poor, it should be for everybody,” she says.

‘The spirit of etiquette, no matter where in the world, is the same – it's about respect and consideration for other people, and how to put other people at ease around you.’

‘Behave properly’

The school targets an older age group than its European counterparts. It offers two main courses - one for debutantes, and another, offering instruction in how to be a hostess, for married women.

One of the most important subjects it teaches is deportment.

“It's about your character, and the feeling you give to others,” explains the institute's president, Rebecca Li, who has also attended a Swiss finishing school.

“You should make people feel you are confident – a person you can trust.”

How you stand, how you sit, how you walk, how you enter a room, how you shake hands - all these things can have an impact on how you are perceived and how others around you feel, according to Ms. Li, “so you have to learn how to behave properly.”

The ‘polite’ way to eat an orange is with a knife and fork, according to Institute Sarita

Other lessons include the polite way to eat an orange (which involves using a knife and fork), table setting, and dinner party seating arrangements.

The vast majority of those who attend the school are women. Men occasionally take part in classes aimed at more mature students, such as lessons in dating etiquette, and managing personal relationships.


Ms. Ho believes the fact that there is demand for courses offered by schools like hers is partly a result of the rapid changes happening in Chinese society.


She says that women in particular can find it hard to adjust.

“In the last century Mao said, ‘women hold up half the sky’; he liberated women by letting them enter the workforce, and now in the career world, you do see women advancing,” she explains.

“But there's [also] 2,000 years of Confucian values which say ‘the woman should be the noble protector of the home, and her place is the home, and to bear children.’”

The majority of the school's attendees are women

She also believes that globalisation is having a big impact, particularly on the wealthy.

“Elite Chinese are starting to send their children to boarding school, they're buying property abroad, they're emigrating abroad,” she says.

“They are learning very quickly, and they're becoming a lot more cosmopolitan, which is why etiquette, now more than ever, is very relevant.”

‘An investment’


Her students agree. Candice Li runs her own business, which conducts research into the luxury market. She often travels internationally, and says that she has become more confident in dealing with foreigners after attending the Institute's classes.

Studying at the school is far from cheap, with a 10-day debutante course costing around £8,500 (€11,000; $12,200).

But for another student, Chelsea Chen, “how much you pay is not important, it's how much you can get from the course.” 

Ms Chen says she regards her attendance as an “investment… for my family… and for everyone surrounding me”. She also hopes that, if in the future, she has children, she will be able to pass on what she has learnt to them.

 

‘I always think about how can I make this into something bigger?’ says Sara Jane Ho

Institute Sarita is no longer the only player in the market for etiquette training in China, and it is facing increasing competition. How does Ms. Ho see the future of her enterprise?

“In some ways it's kind of a silly little business,” she says. “We charge high prices, but the volume is very low… our classes are very small… and our costs are high… but I went to Harvard Business School, and I always think about how can I make this into something bigger?”

Ms Ho says her role model is Martha Stewart, the American author, TV host and entrepreneur, who “provided a guide for the suburban housewife” on how to cook, decorate, and entertain.

“I want to provide the same to the modern day Chinese woman,” she says. “I want to help her be the best mother that she can be, be the best wife that she can be, …make the home a place where she can invite loved ones and friends; and also [to learn] how to live, in this modern day world.” — By Neil Koenig, Producer, Life of Luxury, BBC News Business, 2016

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Early 20th C. Chinese Dinner Invitations

“You will receive a red envelope containing a red card, red being the colour associated with festivity, on which it is stated that by noon on a given day the floor will be swept, the wine-cups washed, and your host in waiting to meet your chariot.” –The bustle of the city: Hong Kong's Queen's Road on Chinese New Year's Day 1902
  – Library of Congress

A Chinese invitation to dinner differs somewhat from a similar compliment in the West. You will receive a red envelope containing a red card, red being the colour associated with festivity, on which it is stated that by noon on a given day the floor will be swept, the wine-cups washed, and your host in waiting to meet your chariot. Later on, a second invitation will arrive, couched in the same terms; and again another on the day of the banquet, asking you to be punctual to the minute. To this you pay no attention, but make preparations to arrive about 4 P.M., previous to which another and more urgent summons may very possibly have been sent. All this is conventional, and the guests assemble at the same hour, to separate about 9 P.M. — From China and the Chinese by LL.D. Herbert Allen Giles, 1902

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chinese Dining and Table Etiquette

“In sitting at a Chinese table, neither one’s body, nor his dress, must touch the table, and great strictness in regard to one’s position is enforced. It is not according to Chinese etiquette to look around when one is eating, nor to stare at one another.” — Depiction of 19th C. Chinese Scholars 

Ting Lang Ho, an educated Chinese man, writes as follows: “According to the teaching of Confucius, no conversation must be carried on at the table. This precept of Confucius, disagreeable though it may seem to many, prevents many embarrassments at table, namely, one’s being interrupted when he tries to speak at table. Chinese etiquette requires all to begin to eat at the same time, but each one before be begins to eat generally says, “Let us begin,” which is accompanied by a gesture of the chopsticks. In finishing one’s meal, the same gesture is used, but not the same words. He says to those who are still eating, “Do not be in haste.”

It is customary for the elders to help the younger to those dishes which he cannot reach, but in receiving, etiquette requires him or her to rise. In sitting at a Chinese table, neither one’s body, nor his dress, must touch the table, and great strictness in regard to one’s position is enforced. It is not according to Chinese etiquette to look around when one is eating, nor to stare at one another. Remarks made on the food and the smacking of one’s lips are (I’m sorry to say) allowable in Chinese etiquette.

The chopsticks, when one is not using them, must be placed on the table close together, sitting perpendicular to the spoon. According to Chinese etiquette, it is rude for one to finish too soon; one must try to keep together with the rest, though it is becoming for inferiors to finish a little before their superiors, but not a little too late. Reading of periodicals is strictly forbidden, but letters are allowed if they are very important. One very seldom asks for an excuse from table in China, but every one goes at the same time. — Jennie June, 1881

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

China’s Law Against Rudeness

China’s first “Queuing Day” was announced 18 months prior to the start of the Beijing Olympics. It was part of the Chinese campaign for “civilized behavior” to ready Beijing for the world stage. — Years ago, Beijing was denied the 2000 Olympics largely because the memory of the Tiananmen Square massacre was too fresh. But by 2001, Olympic organizers figured that awarding the Games to Beijing in ’08 was less an international stamp of approval than it was a challenge to China to clean up its act.

Changing China: Good try, but no sale.

BEIJING’S NEW LAW criminalizing bad customer service sounds humorous at first. It’s fun to imagine calling the cops on a snooty shoe salesman at the Westside Pavilion.

But as funny as it sounds, the new law — which makes it illegal for Beijing sales clerks to be rude to their customers — is no joke. It not only exposes the bizarre contradictions of China’s brand of authoritarian capitalism, it makes the West’s policy of reforming the world’s most populous nation through engagement look positively silly.

Fourteen years ago, Beijing was denied the 2000 Olympics largely because the memory of the Tiananmen Square massacre was too fresh. But by 2001, Olympic organizers figured that awarding the Games to Beijing in ’08 was less an international stamp of approval than it was a challenge to China to clean up its act.

The logic was simple: Exposure to the world — including tens of thousands of foreign journalists — was a greater incentive for China to honor international human rights conventions than was yet another rejection at the hands of the International Olympic Committee.

In theory, that wasn’t a bad idea. Despite the complexities of geopolitics, it is astonishing how insecure a nation’s leaders can become in the face of hordes of foreign tourists and reporters. Last year, before the start of the World Cup, many German officials and pundits were deathly afraid that their countrymen would be less than gracious hosts to millions of visiting soccer fans. Their worries, it turns out, were unfounded. But if you’ve ever been to Beijing, you might understand why Chinese officials have become obsessed with their countrymen’s manners.

Two decades ago, writer Bo Yang, who has been described as a Chinese Voltaire, was pilloried on the mainland for writing an essay titled “The Ugly Chinaman,” in which he excoriated his countrymen for being, among other things, too loud and too crass. That officials in Beijing are now in open agreement with Yang is a sign that some things have changed.

Beijing officials are not just targeting shopkeepers; they have launched a massive public service campaign to encourage capital dwellers to be more friendly and outgoing, as well as to curtail such behaviors as littering, spitting in public and cutting in lines. Etiquette books have been distributed. New cab drivers are taking courses in basic English and politeness.

And to spread the love, officials have also begun to target the growing number of Chinese tourists who travel abroad. The Spiritual Civilizational Steering Committee of the Communist Party — yes, it’s actually called that — is on the verge of publishing a handy guide that will, according to a government newspaper, ensure that the behavior of Chinese tourists is “compatible with the nation’s economic strength and its growing international status.”

But given China’s history of outrageous social engineering campaigns, it’s not surprising that the current drive is falling on deaf ears. “I think people are numb to government campaigns,” said Beijing resident Lu-Chin Mischke.

Two years ago, Mischke founded the Pride Institute, which is dedicated to raising the level of etiquette of the Chinese public. Mischke, who married an American and has lived abroad, takes a different tack than the government. She appeals to individual rather than national pride and in her small way hopes to create an environment of “positive peer pressure” that will limit “antisocial behavior.”

To that end, she has printed up six cards that are handed out to Beijing residents. The cards encourage certain behavior, such as making eye contact when greeting people and establishing “a caring manner.”

But for all her missionary zeal, Mischke is pessimistic about her odds of success in the short run. As the Beijing government must be. Encouraging polite behavior is one thing, criminalizing rudeness is quite another.

Gordon G. Chang, the author of “The Coming Collapse of China,” says the shopkeeper law, which goes into effect next month, is proof that the Olympics will not democratize China in the way some had hoped. Although he concedes that there has been some progress —such as agreeing to temporarily relax restrictions on foreign reporters — he thinks the new law, no matter how unevenly applied, just goes to show how comfortable the Chinese government is in extending a heavy hand when it needs to. And in the end, that may bother well-intentioned Westerners more than it does any Beijing shoe salesman.

The truth is that China’s ability to blend capitalism and authoritarianism flies in the face of many cherished Western notions. Not only are we convinced that economic liberalization goes hand in hand with democratization, our engagement policy is premised on the false notion that once nations get to know us, they will happily choose to be like us.

Yes, Chinese officials want to impress the world at the 2008 Olympics. But enacting an absurd, heavy-handed law to improve etiquette wasn’t the kind of sprucing up that Western optimists had in mind.— By Gregory Rodriguez for the L.A. Times, 2007

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Tea Slurping

Slurping shows one’s appreciation to one’s host or hostess. The more, the better!
—Photo source, Etiquipedia private photo library

Slurping Your Tea Is Polite Manners 

HONOLULU (AP) “Chinese connoisseurs of tea are meticulous,” wrote Mary Sia in a Chinese cookbook published by the University of Hawaii Press, and they have their own rules of etiquette. “It is good manners to show appreciation by making plenty of noise while drinking,” she wrote. —The Sun, 1972

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chinese Visiting Card Etiquette

A depiction of “Chinese Literary Men”

Visiting is made a most serious business in China, and every individual of respectability must have a servant to carry and present his cards. A Chinese card is not a white, glazed little bit of pasteboard, but a huge sheet of scarlet paper, with the name inscribed in large characters; the more mammoth-like the character, the more grand and respectable it is. Cards are of several kinds. There is the plain card, a single sheet of scarlet paper, with the name written or stamped nearest the right hand and topmost sides. This is employed on common occasions. 

Then there is the official card, mostly used by the Mandarins on visits of ceremony. This is also a single sheet, and it contains the name, preceded by the entire title, written down the center from the top to the bottom. Then again, there’s the full card, which is only produced on very grand occasions, such as New Year visits, visits of congratulations or condolence. The full card is folded and must contain 10 folds. It does not give titles, but simply contains the name of the individual, written in the right hand and bottom corner of the first fold, prefaced by the words, “Your stupid younger brother” and followed by the words, “bows his head and pays his respects.” 

Where the person visited belongs to a generation senior to the visitor, the latter styles himself, “Your stupid nephew.” If to two generations senior, the visitor writes, “Your more than stupid nephew.” Should the individual visited belong to a younger generation, the visitor takes to himself the name of “uncle,” instead of “nephew,” retaining, however, the depreciatory appellative of “stupid.” 

There are still further varieties of self-designation, according to the particular gradations of relationship; but those we have quoted will suffice to give an idea of the punctilious rules particular to Chinese visiting. We may add that the card last described is, as a matter of etiquette, always understood to be returned to the visitor, it being presumably expensive to leave such voluminous proofs of regard with a number of friends. —The New York Times, 1871

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Rudeness Brought by Tourists

The message “Ding Jinhao was here,” written in Chinese, is visible on a bas-relief in the 3,500-year-old temple in Luxor, Egypt.

(Associated Press)

Chinese boy etches graffiti into Egyptian treasure; the last straw?

BEIJING — “Ding Jinhao was here.”

It was a banal declaration scratched by a teenager at a 3,500-year-old Egyptian temple that has launched a round of soul-searching about bad behavior of Chinese tourists.

The Chinese-language graffiti was discovered at Luxor this month by a Chinese tourist who posted a photograph on a microblog in which he deplored the conduct of his countrymen abroad. “I’m so embarrassed that I want to hide myself,” the microblogger wrote last week.

Within days, Chinese had outed the vandal as a boy from Nanjing who had visited Egypt with his parents.

The incident has set off a very public debate in China about etiquette and the country’s image abroad. In response, the National Tourism Administration put out guidelines Tuesday advising Chinese going abroad on eight key points of etiquette, from waiting in line to refraining from spitting and littering.

“They speak loudly in public, carve characters on tourist attractions, cross the road when the traffic lights are still red, spit anywhere and [carry out] some other uncivilized behavior. It damages the image of the Chinese people and has a very bad impact,” Chinese Vice Premier Wang Yang complained.

Newly empowered by their rising wealth, Chinese have become the world’s leading tourists with 83 million going abroad last year, according to the U.N. World Tourism Organization. While the $102 billion they spend is welcome, their behavior often is not.

The media here and elsewhere in Asia are full of stories of outrageous Chinese conduct. In Hong Kong, a child was allowed to defecate in a subway car. In Paris, wealthy Chinese drive sales clerks in luxury boutiques to tears with their imperious behavior.

“In general, Chinese tourists are too loud. When they get into a hotel they talk nonstop at the top of their lungs. They swarm into the elevator when the door opens,” said Li Dezhi, a Guangdong-based tour agent who takes Chinese groups abroad. He said he was embarrassed in Japan to see signs – only in Chinese – advising people they need to flush the toilet. “Obviously, they think it is only the Chinese who engage in this kind of bad behavior.”

In fact, there is plenty of non-Chinese graffiti in Luxor and elsewhere in Egypt. But the Chinese are particularly fond of writing their names on monuments. It is a tradition that is sometimes attributed to the Chinese classic, “Journey to the West,” in which the Monkey King carves “I was here” on Buddha’s finger. The magazine Caixin, in response to the Luxor scandal, ran a photo spread this week on its website of historic sites in China that were defaced with graffiti.

Liu Kaiming, a Shenzhen-based activist and social critic, sees parallels with destruction encouraged by the Communist Party from the founding of modern China in 1949 through the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s and 1970s.

“Everything in China has the same kind of carvings. There is a lack of respect for social order and rule of law,” said Liu.

Editorials in Chinese media in recent days have pontificated on the lessons learned from the Luxor incident. Peoples’ Daily, the Communist Party’s flagship newspaper, opined that “this instance shows our families and schools have failed to deliver to the children something that should be expected first and foremost of any education: moral principles and civic virtues.”

Ding Jinhao’s chagrined mother over the weekend said that her son, now 15, had carved the graffiti a few years ago.

“We want to apologize to the Egyptian people and to people who have paid attention to this case across China,” she told a Nanjing newspaper over the weekend. The boy’s father begged Internet users to stop hounding the teenager. “This is too much pressure for him to take,’’ he told the newspaper.

However, the retribution against Ding continues. Infuriated Chinese Internet users over the weekend hacked into the website of his former elementary school and defaced the home page with a message: It read, “Ding Jinhao was here.” — L.A.Times, 2013

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Century of Chinese Etiquette

Mrs. Bishop “found the people a quiet, law-abiding peasantry, only anxious to reap the fruits of their labor in peace. A more thrifty, sober und industrious population could not be found.” – The article below from 1900, on “Chinese Characteristics,” showed that even the humblest of Chinese were well versed in their country’s manners and customs at the dawn of the 20th century. In 105 years’ time, the Chinese public was studying Western-etiquette in preparation for the Beijing Olympics. For more on the early 21st C. push by the Chinese to learn Western manners and etiquette, read the Etiquipedia post here 

Mrs. J. F. Bishop, F.R.G.S., the author of several works on the Far East, lectured at Exeter Hall, Strand, on “China and the Chinese.” Mrs. Bishop has traveled for two years, generally alone, through the most remote regions of the Celestial empire, without being molested. She found the people a quiet, law-abiding peasantry, only anxious to reap the fruits of their labor in peace. A more thrifty, sober und industrious population could not be found. In China, contracts with foreigners are always kept; Mrs. Bishop’s coolies and boatmen, although haggling much before making a bargain, never once failed to carry it out. This was largely due to the influence of the great guilds in which all sections of the people united, and which were admirably managed. 

These guilds were most powerful in protecting their members, and even the throne would hesitate to provoke their opposition. The country was the most democratic in the world, learning being the one avenue to promotion. Chinese charities were remarkable. The educational charities, burial and clothing societies, winter soup kitchens, and the lifeboat service in the rapid rivers were most admirable. The Chinese were horrified at the want of reverence and politeness of foreigners, and at the familiarity of children to their parents. When they asked a foreigner, “What do you allow your parents?” and the reply was, “Nothing,” they looked on him almost as a reptile. Chinese etiquette was complex, and was a part of their religion, but it was right in the main, and they were alienated by what they thought the rudeness of the foreigner. 

Some missionaries studied and carried out the native etiquette, but others, especially Americans, ignored it, and greatly shocked the people. Some American lady missionaries, by wearing birds or reptiles in their hats, and close-fitting dresses, which the Chinese regarded as contrary to propriety, caused the greatest offense. So complex was the etiquette of the Chinese that there were five rules to be observed in getting into a sedan chair, and once, when Mrs. Bishop forgot one of these, her bearers went and made sacrifices on her behalf at their own expense! —London News, 1900

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Chinese Etiquette Revolution

 The Marquis Tseng was one of China’s earliest government ministers to London, Paris and Saint Petersburg. His was an important diplomatic role which preceded and accompanied the Sino-French War (August 1884–April 1885). – Beijing was often referred to as “Peking” in English and “Pekin” in Japanese. Beijing has been known by other names throughout its history including Youzhou, Zhongdu, Dadu, Shuntian, Peiping, and Yanjing.

Social Revolution in China

A social revolution in Peking is, according to The Chinese Times, being effected by the Marquis and Marchioness Tseng, both of whom visit freely at all the foreign legations, and receive the visits of foreigners at their private house. Persons new to China see nothing remarkable in these social courtesies, but those who know the Pekin etiquette appreciate the boldness of the Marquis in thus challenging the very citadel of petrified conservatism. As he is too shrewd a man to run his head deliberately against a stone wall, it may be inferred from his actions, that he has the secret countenance of high personages.— Boston Transcript, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Early 20th C. Chinese Etiquette

“Specific regulations were drawn up as to the height of the stove-pipe hats which men were to wear on state occasions. 

The old Prince Albert coat, which European capitals have long discarded, was elevated to a place of distinction.”

The Prince Alberts in “Modern China” of 1915

PEKING, Nov. 28. —Chinese dressmakers, milliners and tailors are all in a flurry over the announcement that under the prospective Monarchy fashions will be quite unlike those of the Republic. So sure are the government officials of the result of the coming elections, that the Bureau of Rites has been instructed to prepare regulations for the etiquette of the Monarchy. Under the Republic the costumes and rules of conduct were wholly unlike those which prevailed in Imperial China. 

Specific regulations were drawn up as to the height of the stove-pipe hats which men were to wear on state occasions. 

The old Prince Albert coat, which European capitals have long discarded, was elevated to a place of distinction. In warm weather, distinguished gentlemen calling upon the President were permitted to wear a Prince Albert of unlined alpaca. Practically every detail of the costumes which members of Parliament must wear was fixed by mandate, and there was great confusion when the Chinese officials found it was necessary to shelve their native garb and imitate the dress of western nations. President Yuan Shi-kai has intimated that there will be no restoration of the gorgeous attire assumed under the Manchu regime, but it is generally believed that the new Monarchy will not adhere to the strictly severe toilet of the Republic. 

At conferences held by the Bureau of Rites the following topics have already been considered: First – The etiquette to be adopted in foreign and diplomatic affairs, such as the form of correspondence, the ceremony of receiving guests, the ceremony for diplomatic funerals; Second — The etiquette in connection with domestic affairs, such as the ceremony to be performed when the “Heavenly Son” is ascending the throne; Third— The etiquette for the Imperial household, including funeral ceremonies, marriage rites and birthday celebrations. 

In discussing the deliberations of the Bureau of Rites, the Peking Daily News, which is a staunch supporter of the Monarchial movement, says: “As the re-establishment of the Monarchy is a foregone conclusion, there is every likelihood that changes will be brought about in a very short time, and the etiquette promulgated by the Republic will no longer be applicable when the Monarchial form of government is restored. In view of these facts, conferences have been held by the Bureau of Rites for the various kinds of etiquette and rites to be adopted by the new government, so as to ‘get shelters ready before the rainfall comes in.’” – Associated Press Correspondence, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Chinese Ancestors

Animated ancestors in the Disney’s tale of a feisty, Chinese teen heroine, “Mulan.”

Ancestor worship still exists and as this is one of the teachings of Confucius. Shantung China, so near the grave of Confucius, is perhaps one of the places to see it at its best. Every Chinese household has within its doors an ancestral hall, a shrine in which are deposited the tablets of the deceased ancestors. 

Every clan has also an ancestral temple which forms a rallying point for its members who come to join in the ritual as new shrines are to be set up. These tablets are slips of wood about one foot high and three inches wide, placed upright on a pedestal, and having inscribed on each side the name, rank, date of birth and death. They remind one of a tombstone kept in a home instead of being placed at a grave.

After the consecration of the tablet, a dinner is spread for the dead. Then money and clothing are set out. These are left on the table for several days. The eldest son is compelled to go through an elaborate ceremony in carrying food and wine to the burial place for several days, and to say prayers before the tablet when he returns home. For this reason, the Chinese are anxious to have a son. 

If there is no son and no one to perform the ceremony, the ghost, hungry and ill-clothed, is destined to wander about the earth. They are especially particular in the observance of ceremony and have a set etiquette. For instance, the first thing one man does upon meeting another is, to ask what each member of the family is doing, his age, his full name, and if he is married, his wife’s name, and whether they have any sons (for it seems that girls do not count). After that they talk about anything they like. – Los Angeles Hearald, 1919

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chinese Dinner Etiquette

A Chinese butler measuring a place setting’s wine glasses on the table, for perfect symmetry – The Butler’s Uphill Battle in China– “Perhaps due to popularized notions about Western luxury, the European-style butler is making his revival in the Far East. Attracted to the trappings of nobility, China’s nouveau riche pursue extravagance in their consumption and lifestyles, which has boosted the age-old profession. Status symbol aside, hiring a butler and other domestic workers makes sense for those who own multi-million-dollar homes and do not have the time or ability to manage the property. Butlery has become big enough on the Chinese service sector that the Netherlands-based International Butler Academy opened a branch in the city of Chengdu, southwest China. The school seeks to bridge the cultural and linguistic gap that comes with the employment of high-end Western domestic workers by wealthy Chinese. It also trains Chinese butlers.”– Juliet Song forEpoch Times, 2016

Tea with Dinner is “Faux Chinese”

Americans who sip tea throughout a Chinese dinner might just as well eat chop suey and chow mein with it. The tea-drinking practice is as Western in nature as are the two foods, says Mme. Chu Fang Li, a former first lady of Kwangtung Province. Mme. Li, now a restaurateur in this northern Westchester suburb, added that wine is customary with dinner in China, and tea, like coffee in much of the Western world, is an after-dinner beverage. During a nine-course dinner accompanied by a 1959 German liebfraumilch —Mme. Li talked about authentic Chinese cuisine and customs. She and her husband, Gen. Han Hun Li, a former Chinese army officer and governor of Kwangtung Province, feature dishes from all of China in the nine-page menu of their China Garden restaurant. “Chinese food is logical,” she explained. 

 Notable Chinese wine-producing regions include Beijing, Yantai, Zhangjiakou in Hebei, Yibin in Sichuan, Tonghua in Jilin, Taiyuan in Shanxi, and Ningxia. The largest producing region is Yantai-Penglai; with over 140 wineries, it produces 40% of China's wine

Firepot cookery, a house specialty, was developed in cold regions near the Yangtze River to keep both food and diners warm. Each diner cooks tidbits of food to his taste by dipping them into boiling broth in a Ho-go, a metal firepot with chimney-like center. Bamboo steamers that fit into saucepans and hold heat for long periods are used for another house specialty, roast pork on skewers. These are canape-size sandwiches of roast pork served on special Mandarin-style steamed white bread with plum sauce and raw scallions. Mme. Li said the steamers also are used by tea houses, where Chinese go to talk or relax over cups of steaming tea and steamed tiffin foods such as dim sum, a noodle dough with meat or seafood filling. As for wines, she said each province grows its own, usually from grapes, although there also are rice and wheat wines. She suggested either libfraumilch or chablis – both dry, white wines as suitable substitutes for the Chinese varieties, which are drier and sourer than the Western ones. – UPI, White Plains, 1964 

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Observations of Chinese Etiquette

The queue was a specifically male hairstyle worn from the mid-1600s to the early 20th century and abolished (almost forcibly in many areas) in 1912. The queue started with hair on the front of the head being shaved off above the temples every ten days and the remainder of the hair was braided into one long braid.  Originally worn by the Manchu people from central Manchuria, the queue was later imposed on the Han Chinese during the Qing dynasty. - Photo source Pinterest

“Is this the proper thing to do?”
By Nellie M. Stevenson

Here are some interesting impressions for the newcomer to China: An entire readjustment of self to conditions seems necessary. One is constantly asking, “Is this the proper thing to do?” or “Is this the proper thing to wear?” To meet a gentleman of one’s acquaintance on the street and to pass without speaking, would be an unpardonable breach of etiquette, according to our Western custom, but here even a nod to one’s husband seems a sin. 

To our Western eyes nothing is better suited to street wear than a closely-fitting tailor suit, but such a style must he tabooed here if one is to be quite respected. “Don’t wear thin waists outside of the compound,” for such is not in keeping with Chinese ideas of modesty. “Don’t wear elbow sleeves when your teacher is giving a lesson.” Chinese women do not cross their arms in such fashion. “Don’t wear your hair in braids coiled about your head,” for if the Chinese appear before you with their queues wrapped about their heads, it is a sign of disrespect. “Don’t shake hands with a Chinese man” as it would surely mean loss of reputation. 

Are there any more “Don’ts?” Yes! “Don’t go outside the door without your sun hat,” “Don’t go outside the compound in the evening, for the tigers will be apt to eat you.” "Don’t brush against the cacti growing along the road,” for the lepers brush against them.” “Don’t eat uncooked green things unless they grow in your own garden.” These and many more, but soon one does not really mind them, and takes them largely as a matter of course, just as he does quinine, with a wry face sometimes, but with the consciousness that it will do you good. 

Each day brings some new interesting experience. One cool day I noticed people walking along the street with their sleeves over their noses and mouths. I thought this was because of toothache until, seeing so many doing it, I inquired and found out that they did not like to breathe fresh air. — Published in the Eagle Rock Sentinel, 1928

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Chinese Conversation Etiquette

Chinese brothers in the United States, circa 1890 – Confucianism's core values of etiquette and politeness are key components of the Chinese culture value system.

Extreme Politeness: Chinese etiquette requires that in conversation, each should compliment the other, and everybody belonging to him in the most laudatory style, and depreciate himself, with all pertaining to him, to the lowest possible point.  

The following is a fair sample of Chinese conversation; “What is your honorable name?” “My insignificant appellation is Wong.” “Where is your magnificent palace?” “My contemptible hut is at Suchan.” “How many are your illustrious children?” “My vile, worthless brats are five.” “How is the health of your distinguished spouse?” “My mean, good-for-nothing old woman is well.” — Harper’s Weekly , 1861

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Ancient Chinese Imperial Etiquette

One Han Dynasty Ring, helped Royal subjects follow proper rules of Court Etiquette 

The Smithsonian Institution has received a gilt of a great antiquity from the Chinese Minister. It is a "jade" ring, about ten inches in diameter and one-eighth of an inch in thickness, with a hollow centre about four inches in diameter. It is of a pale hue. The ring is known as the "Han Pek" jewel of the dynasty of Han, an old-time Monarch of 3500 year's ago.

Court officials of that day, when an audience was accorded them by the Emperor, held the ring with both hands and thrust their fingers into the opening to guard against moving their hands while addressing the throne, the emphasizing of their remarks by flourishes of their hands, presumably being contrary to official etiquette. The ring was used as an emblem of submission, or respect, for the Sovereign. It was recently unearthed from a sepulcher, having been buried with the owner. – New York Sun, 1899

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Chinese Daughter In-Law Etiquette

When your mother-in-law sits, you should respectfully stand.  



How to Treat One’s Mother-in-Law in Han Dynasty China

A writer, who lived for more than twenty years in China, has completed a translation of the accepted authority on Chinese etiquette written by Lady Tsao of the Han Dynasty, nearly eighteen centuries ago. It contains the following instructions as to the correct behavior of a wife toward her husband's mother: 

When your mother-in-law sits, you should respectfully stand. 

Obey quickly her commands. In the morning early rise and quickly open the doors, making no noise to awaken her. 

Her toilet articles hasten to prepare; Her washbowl and towel; Her toothbrush and powder, all bring together. 

Let not the water be too cold or too hot. When the mother-in-law awakens, all these things respectfully present to her; Then immediately retire to one side until her toilet is completed. 

Then approach and present the morning salutations; Again retire and prepare her tea.

After which, the breakfast table arrange. Place the spoons and chopsticks straight. The rice cooked soft and let the meat be thoroughly done. 

From ancient days until now, old people have had sick teeth; Therefore, let not the food be dry, that your mother-in-law with labor vainly, eats. Daily the 
three meals, thus carefully prepare.

When darkness comes, and your great one (mother-in-law) desires to sleep, carefully for her spread the bed, when she may peacefully rest, and you may retire to your room. 

Following these instructions, all your superiors will praise you; All that know you will esteem you as good. —San Francisco Call, 1902

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Etiquette of Royal Courts

Tokay is the name of the wines from the Tokaj wine region in Hungary, or the adjoining Tokaj wine region in Slovakia. The region is noted for its sweet wines made from grapes affected by noble rot, a style of wine which has a long history in this region. The "nectar" comes from the grapes of Tokaj is mentioned in the national anthem of Hungary.

Etiquette of Royal Courts

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That It Calls for Some Queer Proceedings Is Here Shown

In the Austrian Court it is contrary to custom for perishable articles to appear twice on the Imperial table. The result is large perquisites for the attendants. To one man fall all the uncorked bottles, to another the joints, and to another still the game or the sweets. Every morning a sort of market is held in the basement of the palace, where the Viennese come readily to purchase the remains. And there is no other means of procuring Imperial Tokay than this.

Long ago in England even the greatest men in the land were pleased to receive such perquisites. In the reign of Henry II, for instance, the Lord Chancellor was entitled to the candle ends of one great, and forty small, candles per day. And the aquarius, who must be a Baron in rank, received 1 penny for drying towels on every ordinary occasion of the King's bathing. 

The ceremonial that the Revolution swept away, the first Emperor Napoleon was careful to revive in a less extreme form, and it is characteristic of the man that he made a special study of it, and went so far as to prescribe the special forms to be used on great occasions. Before his coronation, M. Isabey, the miniature painter, gave seven rehearsals with wooden dolls, appropriately dressed, of the seven ceremonials that were to be enacted. And one ceremony being especially intricate, the functionaries rehearsed it in person in the Gallery of Diana at the Tuileries, a plan having been carefully traced with chalk on the floor. This was the sort of thing in which Napoleon especially rejoiced, and he himself arranged beforehand all the details of the entry of Maria Louisa into France, and of his subsequent marriage with her. 

Among other particulars on reaching what was then French territory, the Archduchess was conducted into the eastward room of a three roomed house near Braunau; the French Commissioner entered westward; while the third room in the middle was occupied by the rest of the party. And M. de Bausset, who gives an account of the proceedings, having bored holes with a gimlet in the door of the middle room, had a splendid view of the unconscious Princess. But, he quaintly adds, it was the ladies who took advantage of his forethought.

The ceremonial of the Chinese Court is somewhat exacting. It used to include, if it does not now, complete prostration before the throne. Last century a Persian envoy refused to go through the degrading ordeal. Directions were given to the officials to compel him by stratagem to do so. On arriving one day at the entrance to the hall of audience, the envoy found no means of going in except by a wicket, which would compel him to stoop very low. With great presence of mind and considerable audacity, the Embassador turned around and entered backward, thus saving the honor of his country. — New York Evening Post, 1895

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Etiquette and “Good Form”

Among the notable guests at the Constitutional Centennial banquet in the Philadelphia Academy of Music, in September were the Chinese envoys who accompanied Count Mitkiewicz to this country...

What is Good Form? Differing Customs In Different Countries—Etiquette Among Various Peoples

That etiquette is sometimes arbitrary and not covered by the definition of common sense set to rule, is shown by the widely varying customs in different parts of the world. An American going up or down stairs in a public hotel  does not feel it incumbent on him to remove his hat if a lady should see him on the stairs. In Europe it would be considered very rude if a man did not uncover under such circumstance. An American, entering a parlor, expects the lady of the house to rise and greet him. 

In Spain, a lady would seem to forfeit her self-respect should she exhibit so much forwardness. No one ever saw a man and a woman arm in arm in the streets of a Spanish city without knowing they were foreigners. A Spanish husband never takes his wife's arm in public. Nor would a Spanish woman receive a male visitor alone. Such is the system of protection exercised over women by Hidalgo, grandee, tradesman and peasant in the sunny land of romance. 

Among the notable guests at the Constitutional Centennial banquet in the Philadelphia Academy of Music, in September were the Chinese envoys who accompanied Count Mitkiewicz to this country in connection with the concessions to a Philadelphia syndicate. During the evening a note was handed to the chief envoy, a grave looking. elderly man. He was troubled for a moment, and then made an elaborate apology in French for the rudeness of which he was compelled to be guilty, namely, the wearing of his spectacles in company long enough to read the note. It is a gross breach of etiquette for a Chinaman to wear eyeglasses or spectacles in company, and it is equally impolite to enter a room with the hat off. A gentleman of the Celestial Kingdom always remains covered to show his respect.

 Another piece of Chinese etiquette noticeable at the banquet was that, although the evening was fine, the envoys wore rubber overshoes until they readied the Academy cloakroom, and removed them prior to entering the amphitheater. Chinese etiquette forbids a man to enter a room with soiled shoes, and consequently, overshoes are worn until arriving at the house. 

An American would never think of removing his hat prior to speaking to any man on the street. In Holland, before speaking in the most humble individual out of doors a male uncovers. In Holland, too, men and women rarely purchase at the same stores, but in case where they do, if a woman discovers that men are assembled inside, she retires until they leave. A live American store-keeper would probably soon change this feature of Dutch etiquette. 

The Americans, English, Germans and Russians shake hands with a man bidding him welcome. An Arab’s greeting is to rub his cheek against that of the person he salutes and kisses him. A Frenchman welcomes a friend by embracing and kissing him, though by slow degrees this custom is being superseded. The Japanese customs are similar to those of China. It is not an unusual sight to see a number of Japanese remove their sandals, cross their hands and cry “Spare me!” when a great man passes, but the custom is rapidly going out of vogue since the leaven of enlightenment has been spreading through the land. 

A peculiar mark of esteem in Burma is to ask permission to smell a person's face, and then declare the perfume to be as sweet as some choice flower. The custom is confined to Burma and is not likely to spread. In America, politeness goes, as it should, before all else. One rule can be laid down for general observance where a person’s ideas of the proper thing to do are unsettled: let him make himself at home. He should do so in a manner to create some respect for home, unlike a young man who called at the office of a noted Philadelphian, somewhat famous for his straightforward utterances. “Make yourself at home for a few minutes,” said the owner of the office to his visitor. The young man, having seated himself somewhat comfortably, but mistaking a table for a footstool, responded cheerfully; “I always make himself at home." “Then I pity the people at home,” was the quick response.   –The Coronado Mercury, 1890

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Etiquette and Kowtowing

The Guangxu Emperor, Zaitian (Manchu: Dzai-Tiyan), was the 11th Emperor of the Qing dynasty, and the 9th Qing Emperor to rule over China

Gong, the Emperor of China, has been struck by a change in court etiquette. He will henceforth receive foreign ministers once a year, and will excuse them from performing the kowtow, which consists in entering his presence on all-fours, like a dog, and bumping their heads, three times on the floor. — As reported in the Daily Alta News, 1891

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