Etiquette of Words

 "Etiquette" is not what so many people think a set of restrictions and rules, often hypocritical, boring and useless. It is a code of behavior, an approach to pleasant relationships with other people, based on consideration and kindness. Neither should manners be false or restrictive. They are "guideposts on the road to good taste"- a way of doing something which has been proved to be most attractive and most practical over many years. – Image from the 1970 book, “Did I Do That?” By Dorothy Laux 

Watch Your Language – 

Keep it Up-to-Date

There are many words whose meanings are frequently misinterpreted, and some are words which are often associated with etiquette. I have selected a few that often appear misused in letters from my readers. My definitions are not necessarily those found in the dictionary, but they describe the connotation of the word from the point of view of good usage and good taste. 

Look at each word and then read my definition to see whether you have been using it in the best way, according to etiquette.

1. Formal. Formal should not be used as a noun meaning either an evening gown or an elaborate dance. It is a synonym for ceremonial, and an adjective meaning an extreme degree of correct- ness.

2. Party. Party should not be used to refer to one person, except in legal usage. It is not correct, for example, to say "Who was the party with you the other night?" A party is a social gathering, or a group of associated people, such as a political party.

3. Lady. All women are not ladies. The definition does not depend on the wealth or the social background of the woman, but to distinguish: "A lady is a woman with a good memory, always remembers others and never forgets herself."

4. Gentleman. Again, all men are not gentlemen. Το deserve the latter definition a man "may be in shirtsleeves actually, but he never gets into shirtsleeves mentally."

5. Etiquette. "Etiquette" is not what so many people think a set of restrictions and rules, often hypocritical, boring and useless. It is a code of behavior, an approach to pleasant relationships with other people, based on consideration and kindness.

6. Manners. Neither should manners be false or restrictive. They are "guideposts on the road to good taste"- a way of doing something which has been proved to be most attractive and most practical over many years.

7. Junior. Every boy who is named after an older relative is not necessarily a Junior. Only a boy whose name is identical to his father's is entitled to be Junior. Boys named after uncles or grandfather, are second, third, etc…

8. Home. Not to be confused with house, which is a solid, physical structure. Home conveys the spirit and the personality of the house. It is literally "where the heart is." – By Elizabeth Post in the Highland Park News-Herald & Journal, 1970

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

19th C. Thoughts on Etiquette, Society and Civilization

Where the meaning of its rules may be somewhat obscure at first sight, there is an underlying reason for the regulation laid down.

"Etiquette is, in point of fact, nothing more nor less than the law, written and unwritten, which regulates the society of civilized people, distinguishing them from the communities of barbarous tribes, whose lives are hard and their manners still harder.

It is to a well disciplined and refined mind the fundamental principle of action in all intercourse with society, and they are interested in maintaining it in its integrity, and bound to heed and obey its simplest as well as more formal precepts.

The real law-giver is the general convenience, speaking with authority and the experience of many years; and it will be found that even in those cases, where the meaning of its rules may be somewhat obscure at first sight, there is an underlying reason for the regulation laid down." –by Sarah Annie Frost, 1869

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia