More 1963 Etiquette for Teen Girls

 In “The Seventeen Book of Etiquette and Entertaining,” writing with strong personal conviction and a deep understanding of young people, Enid A. Haupt, who is editor-in-chief of Seventeen Magazine, explores all areas where teenage girls and boys may feel unsure and answers questions before they arise on subjects ranging from eating to dating, from meetings to skating. 

For the first time ever in an etiquette book, complete chapters are devoted to “The Art of Saying No Nicely,” a “16-Point Plan for Making Good on College or Prep-School Weekends” and “When You Eat or Entertain in Restaurants.” Subjects including beauty parlor etiquette, school, sports and spectator manners, job manners, dating, telephone talk, hotel and bus travel, and the formalities of life are handled.

“Boys, Boys, Boys” - “Other people rather enjoy seeing young lovers... but the radiance gets a little grimy if you don't place some limits on displays of affection. You don't have to kiss every time you're going to be parted for half an hour, hold hands in school corridors, sit on his lap when the family and their friends are milling around the house.”

When “You're a Spectator” - “Applause is the breath of life to performers - especially at the right time .. . Exceptions to the rigid rules about applause include jazz concerts, folk-song festivals, and coffeehouse performances of the sung and spoken word. A certain amount of foot-stomping and soulful uttering of an occasional outcry is really expected of you.”

“Where is the ladies' room?” -When dining out, “Don't ask your date. Obviously, he's unfamiliar with it. Excuse yourself, then rise from the table and ask the nearest waiter ... You needn't manufacture a telephone call as an excuse. A simple ‘Will you excuse me for a minute?’ without explanation is sufficient - and un-embarrassing.” Or, “On entering the restaurant, look for the ladies’-room sign. If you find it and fix it in your memory, you won't have to ask ANYONE.”

Whether it's going to the beauty parlor or going for a drive, going to a conference or on a trip by car, train, plane, bus or ship, “The Seventeen Book of Etiquette and Entertaining” offers words of encouragement and guidelines for teen behavior. “The Art of Saying No Nicely” encompasses every situation from “How to refuse a date so he'll ask again” to “how not to lend clothes and money” to “how to refuse a kiss.”

In “Good Sports Go Places,” Mrs. Haupt examines the latest teen fads and outlines modes of conduct for activities such as bowling, billiards, skiing and skating, telling readers about the games, how to accept victory and defeat and what to wear. For billiards, she suggests comfortable clothes, but warns girls, “Don't wear anything too low-cut in front because of all that bending over the table.”

For those going to banquets, teas, receptions, coming-out par- ties, weddings, christenings, funerals, confirmations, bar mitzvahs or graduations, all “The Functions of Life” are detailed in accordance with the customs and traditions of the Catholic, Protestant, Jewish and Quaker religions. This chapter handles every aspect of important ceremonies, from how to answer a formal invitation, to what to wear, to the appropriate gifts to give.— San Bernardino Sun, 1963

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Charming Swans and Wendy Ward

A book sold in conjunction at the Montgomery Ward department store’s “Wendy Ward School of Charm,” was full of advice which covered posture, social graces and even dating.- “Most people aren’t their natural selves. Rather, they are an accumulation of habits and affectations picked up through life. Inside, they’re different. Do you want to learn to be the real you instead of a phony?” - The Wendy Ward School of Charm

Wendy Ward’s Program Makes Them Into Swans

Expected to be one of the most popular services of the new Montgomery Wards Fullerton store is the Wendy Ward charm and glamour grooming program, left. One of the aims of the program is to be the teenage girls’ friend with its glamourizing sessions of six-week, 12 hour program in basic good grooming geared especialy for 12 to 19 year old girls. Tuition is $10. 

All classes will be held after school and on Saturdays in the 150 - seat Wendy Ward auditorium. Classes will be conducted by a professional model. The auditorium is also available to local community groups on reservation. Along with this glamour course, Wards plans to expand its fashion department to encompass a new couture collection especially created for the store. – La Habra Star, 1966

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Junior Miss Etiquette of 1964

“This is my first big holiday season and the list of parties is almost endless. I am terrified that I may commit sonic social error and not even know it....” 

Dear Miss Deb...

For answers to your questions on dating, etiquette and beauty 

Q. My dates and I have no trouble with conversation until that agonizing good night scene at the door. I could die as I shift from one foot to the other and stammer, “ . . guess I’ll he seeing you” for the millionth time. How can I develop a graceful exit technique?

A. By planning ahead just as you did in getting ready for the date. Locate your keys, express your feeling about the good time you had, make the small talk on the way to the door. Let him unlock and open the door for you. Don’t linger. Say your final “wonderful time-good night,” and allow your smile to float back briefly as you disappear behind the closing door. If you work it right, he may be disappointed, but not offended! 

Q. This is my first big holiday season and the list of parties is almost endless. I am terrified that I may commit sonic social error and not even know it. Are there any definite party going rules I could learn for insurance?

A. There probably are as many rules as there are parties, but here arc three tips which provide a general rule of thumb. Always try to be helpful, cooperative about any special party plans, and a happy conversationalist. (If you're not good at small talk, be an enthusiastic listener!) Be as thoughtful about the family and their home as you would want people to be about your own. Express your thanks for a good time and leave promptly when the party is over. These guideposts should make you the most popular guest of the season.

Q. Older people make me self-conscious. I always feel they are critical of me because of all the talk about wild teenagers. Should I just avoid them whenever possible?

A. The sooner you learn to deal casually and respectfully with older adults the better. They will be coming into your life more and more as you go away to school or out into the job market. Begin by relaxing and being as natural as possible. Remember, adults like to be put at their ease, too. Just as you don't like to be considered a “wild teenager,” adults don't like to be thought of as “has-beens” or “critical old fuddy-duddies.” Try to listen for the likenesses between you instead of the differences.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Retro 1957 Etiquette for Teen Girls

Watch Your Hostess… and don't be disturbed if you are faced with a row of silver.

Most of these rules of table etiquette you will know, but if you are going out to a meal and want to be sure to do the right thing, it might be well to review them. 

• Remain Standing until your hostess and the other people are seated. If there are no man in the party, help to see the older members in their chairs.
• Start to Eat when your hostess does.
• Watch Your Hostess and don't be disturbed if you are faced with a row of silver. If you question which piece to use, do as she does. The rule, however, is to use the silver in order -- from the outside, working in.
• Ask for things to be passed instead of reaching across the table or in front of other guests.
• Eat Quietly, take small mouthfuls and be careful not to sip noisily. Do not talk with your mouth full. It is also very rude to mash your food or stir it conspicuously.
• At a Crowded Table be considerate of your neighbors and keep your elbows out of their way. 
• When You Have Finished Eating you should leave the silver in this order:
• The Bullion or Soup Spoon: should be left on the plate, not in the cup or bowl.
• Fruit Cup Spoons: should never be left in the glass cup, but on the plate.
• The Butter Knife: across the middle of the butter plate. 
• The Salad Fork: across the salad plate. 
• The Dinner Knife and Fork: parallel together across the plate. 
• The Dessert Spoon: on the plate, not in the sherbet glass.
• The Coffee Spoon: in the saucer, never in the cup. 
• Your Napkin: need not be folded if you are a guest for only one meal. But at home, do fold it neatly and leave it at your place.

  

From Emily R. Dow's 1957 "Brooms, Buttons and Beaux"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Vintage 1960's Etiquette for Teen Girls

From 1963's "The Seventeen Magazine Book of Etiquette and Entertaining"

Why I'd love to come to dinner!  I'll just get my "Seventeen Magazine Book of Etiquette" out for a few dining tips.

Table Manners That Take You Anywhere

Depiction of a typical place setting for a more formal dinner.

Any meal is a sociable occasion, and good table manners add to the sociability. The one magnificent reason for having them is so everyone can enjoy the food that's served. Relaxed but thoughtful is probably the key phrase that describes the kind of person you like to eat with. Most of the rules have been dinned at you since you were bib age, but constant repetition may have dulled some of the points, so perhaps a review is in order:

Wait 'til a few others have been served before starting. When you are a guest, take your cue from your hostess; some families say grace before a meal. Mind her, though, if she says "go ahead" and don't wait for her.

A napkin goes on your lap unless you tuck it in under your chin at a spaghetti or lobster feast. When you leave the table, deposit it at the left side of your plate; the only time you fold it is when you're given a napkin ring.

An explanation and depiction of flatware one may find at a dinner.

You sit up straight, with the chair pulled into the table. You'll look better and the food won't dribble on your clothes or the floor.

Fidgeting spoils the appetite (the other fellow's). Stop it if you find you're carving patterns on the tablecloth with a fork, fiddling with the silver or running a finger idly around the rim of your glass.

If you're not sure which fork to use, eye your hostess. Most tables have the silver set from the outside in, toward the plate, in the order in which it will be needed. Many restaurants put every piece of silver they can find at each place; that's when you have to take your chances. Most people will just think you're absent minded if you take the wrong implement.

Food stays pretty much at plate level until you're ready to put it in your mouth. Hold bread close to the butter plate when you break and butter it.

Elbows stay at table level even if the meat is tough to cut.

You don't reach across anyone else's place. "May I have the salt, please?" is the way to get it.

If you drop an implement, leave it on the floor until the meal is over. If you're in a restaurant, you don't pick it up at all.

"It's a nice idea to pat your mouth with a tissue before drinking out of a glass; it avoids unaesthetic smudges... At least that's what the book says."

Any glass with a stem is held by the bowl for better balance. Otherwise it might wobble and spill.

It's a nice idea to pat your mouth with a tissue before drinking out of a glass; it avoids unaesthetic smudges.

The long spoon served with iced tea, a soda or a milkshake goes in the saucer when you're not using it. No saucer? Leave the spoon in the glass and brace it with your forefinger when you drink so you won't jab your eye.

Mouths are zipped up when chewing. Soup is not slurped. Teeth are not clicked noisily with spoons. Only puppies are cute smacking their food.

Follow pattern of host or hostess before you pick up drumstick or chop bone. Some people do. Some people don't.

Learn to answer a question neatly when your mouth is full.

But not too full! Food should be cut to manageable size -- one piece at a time. A plate of minced-up food looks right at a toddlers place, not at a teen's.

You sit up straight with the chair pulled into the table.  You'll look better and the food won't dribble onto your clothes.

Butter and jelly are never spread on a whole slice of bread or toast. Break, butter and eat is the order. For rolls, too. But you'd probably break and butter all the pieces of a hot popover so the butter would melt nicely.

If there is no spoon for the salt dish, use the blade of a clean knife.

Be matter-of-fact about removing the uneatable from your mouth. Slide prune pits out of your mouth onto your spoon and then to the plate. Olive pits, fishbones and slivers of bird and chop bones should be chewed reasonably clean before you remove them with your fingers. A piece of meat you can't chew is slid onto the fork and put on the rim of your plate. (Don't retire behind your napkin for any of these maneuvers.)

Choking a little? Take a sip of water -- or leave the table 'til you've recovered.

When a platter or dish is served to you, use the serving fork to steady the food and a serving spoon to lift the food to your plate. Then replace the fork and spoon, side by side, so handles stay clear of food. Take small portions; you're almost sure to get a second chance. When a serving dish is passed around the table, hold or steady it for the next person.

Hand a pitcher with a handle pointing towards receiver.

Put sandwiches and other finger foods on your plate before eating them.

Implements you have used never go in dishes others will share -- your spoon in the sugar bowl, as an example.

If you see an implement in a dish, use it instead of fingers -- a pickle or lemon fork, sugar or ice tongs, nut spoon.

Never leave a spoon in the coffee, egg or soup cup or in the dessert dish. Rest it on the saucer or plate beneath.

When you pass your plate for seconds, or when you've finished, place the knife and fork, the spoon or fork, or the dessert spoon and fork side by side on the plate -- so the handles rest on the rim and the tips are in the well of the plate. That keeps the silver from bouncing off.

Vintage 1960's Etiquette for Teen Girls

From 1963's "The Seventeen Magazine Book of Etiquette and Entertaining"

She is attractive physically -- clean, scrubbed, fresh, well-groomed, neatly put together. The physical attraction comes from good maintenance of the human machinery, maintenance to keep it in tune and cycling properly.

As a teen you can build better understanding in many ways right in your own corner of the world.

 

Here are a few ways that mark you as nice clear through:

A few ways that mark you as nice clear through? Super fun sweaters like these maybe!

1. You don't exclude people from your group merely because

• they are newcomers and don't belong
• they come from a different social background, whether its higher or lower
• they go to private school and you go to public school -- or the reverse
• their parents are separated or divorced
• they come from a different social background, whether its higher or lower
• they go to private school and you go to public school -- or the reverse
• their parents are separated or divorced 
• their speech or their clothes are different 
• their race or religion is different from yours    

Super neat-o green, black and white ensemble for  1965

2. You don't make other people's loyalties a subject for fun by

telling dialect stories. Let the Scots tell the jokes about Scottish thrift, for example; then it's funny. (The great comedians turn the laughs on themselves.) It's not so funny to a Scot when someone of another group pokes fun at his group's supposed eccentricities or shortcomings.
telling hilarious tales about two clergymen -- or deacons, nuns, rabbinical students or anyone -- who belong to a faith other than yours. If you honestly think the story is choice and is not disrespectful, switch it to your own religion.
  

If your shoes don't match your jacket or tablecloth, glue some fabric on to make them match.

3. You don't make a broad statement condemning any group of humans as a group

To be avoided are also statements, such as the following, that would reflect on a group or profession: "She's not like most . . ." "He's very nice, really, for a . . ." "Some of my best friends are . . ." "Isn't that just like a . . ."

4. You use the honorable term for members of a race or religion that's foreign to you -- 

rather than a slang term or an abbreviation. If you are a Mixo-Lydian member of the Druids faith and wish to refer to yourself as a Mixo, a tree-kook or whatever, go right ahead; at least the lack of respect hurts only your own group. (And you might become pretty unpopular with your own group, come to think of it.)

These four points about the good manners that make nice people stand out in a crowd lead us directly to a bigger subject, because nice people are also very nice to have around.

Let us also consider some of the plain but important points about nice people -- who are

Nice to have near

To describe the matter candidly, they are attractive physically -- clean, scrubbed, fresh, well-groomed, neatly put together. You can be fairly sure the physical attraction comes from good maintenance of the human machinery, maintenance to keep it in tune and cycling properly.