Contributor Spotlight on Elizabeth Soos

 

Meet Etiquette Coach and Etiquipedia Contributor, Elizabeth Soos, Founder of Auersmont School of Etiquette & Protocol

When Elizabeth Soós, founder of Auersmont School of Etiquette and Protocol in Australia, was growing up, “etiquette was King” in her household. Her parents taught her European etiquette standards throughout her childhood. Later, together with self-directed studies, she completed the Train-the-Trainer course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London. To further her education, Elizabeth became certified in Chinese Etiquette with Ms. Joy Koh at Image Avenue and she studied with Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac, based in Paris and Shanghai, for excellence in customer service. 

Elizabeth’s enjoys working with clients of all ages and backgrounds, at home and abroad. Over the past 10 years, Elizabeth has positioned herself as a voice of authority in etiquette as a contributing writer to the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia, co-sponsoring global etiquette competitions, and has been featured in The West Australian and The Sunday Times, among other media outlets. Ms. Soos firmly believes that etiquette is a life-changing skill, an attainable precious possession that lasts a lifetime.

Below are links to just a few of Elizabeth Soos’ numerous articles on global etiquette you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

A Guide to Australian Slang

Cambodian Etiquette, Culture and Customs 

Pakistani Culture and Etiquette 

7 Australian Café Etiquette Tips 

Profiles in Etiquette — June Dally-Watkins 

Etiquette and Culture in Oman 

Etiquette of Mauritius or “Mini India” 

The Royal Favourite Tokay Wine 

Etiquette and the Melbourne Cup  

Japanese Etiquette Shines at World Cup

The following is a Q. & A. with Elizabeth:

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?
From a young age, etiquette was like a second language in my household. I'd constantly observe and participate, always curious about the "whys" behind everything, from proper hosting to phone manners. My mother’s love for learning fuelled my own fascination with social interactions and cultural nuances. 

After owning and running a business in a completely different field, I craved a new challenge. While diving deep into the world of etiquette, I researched and found there were many differing etiquette perspectives around the world, but all with the same core basis: Respect. After receiving differing certifications in many types of etiquette, I returned to Australia with a burning desire to share my knowledge. Building Auersmont School of Etiquette and Protocol was only the beginning. 

Crafting the curriculum ignited a deeper thirst to understand the very history and evolution of etiquette, and to learn why others felt compelled to teach it. The pandemic pause presented a fortuitous opportunity to connect with Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, a fellow etiquette expert, who further enriched my journey as a coach. It's safe to say, my lifelong fascination with etiquette blossomed into a full-fledged passion project!

Elizabeth at work, addressing a room full of young business women.

What do you enjoy teaching the most?

There are two parts to a great lesson, and I truly enjoy both. Firstly, I relish delving into the fascinating history and scientific underpinnings of etiquette with my clients. It's incredibly rewarding to share the "why" behind the rules, not just the "how." This deeper understanding creates a foundation for using etiquette authentically and confidently.

However, the true magic happens when we get hands-on. Dining etiquette becomes an interactive adventure as we explore proper utensil use and tackle tricky foods with finesse. Whether it's mastering a multi-course meal or navigating a formal event, these practical exercises equip my clients to navigate any social or business situation with grace and poise. It's incredibly satisfying to see them transform from apprehension to amusement as they embrace these new skills.

What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?

The true reward of teaching etiquette lies in those "a-ha!" moments. When a client, regardless of age, suddenly grasps the "why" behind a particular rule – understanding the history or cultural significance – it's like a lightbulb clicks on. The same goes for mastering a formal table setting; the look of accomplishment on one’s face is truly heartwarming. But the ultimate satisfaction comes months later. 

Hearing from a client who successfully used an etiquette or protocol point I taught them, whether in everyday life or a work setting, is the ultimate validation. It lets me know my lessons have a real impact, empowering them to navigate the social world with confidence and grace. That's what truly makes my work rewarding.

What types of classes do you offer?

My passion truly lies in crafting programs that cater to real-world situations. That's why I've developed three core etiquette offerings: 1. Social Etiquette, 2. Business Etiquette & 3. Dining Etiquette. These areas touch every aspect of our lives, and I find immense satisfaction in equipping my clients with the skills they need to navigate these areas with confidence. The beauty of my approach is that clients can choose to focus on one area or combine all three to create a well-rounded skillset.

What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?

There's a special joy I find in working with two distinct age groups: children and school or university graduates. Firstly, children possess an incredible openness to learning. They're like sponges, eagerly soaking up the rules and customs of etiquette. Witnessing their learning journey in classes like mastering skills like table manners or polite conversation, is incredibly rewarding. In a way, it's like giving them a secret code that unlocks a world of social confidence. 

On the other hand, when working with school and university grads, it feels like I’m empowering them for the exciting but sometimes daunting transition into adulthood. Having missed out on etiquette education myself during those years, I understand the challenges they might face. Equipping them with social graces and professional know-how – from introductions to business dinners – gives them a head start in navigating the professional and social landscapes with confidence. It's a privilege to be a part of their journey.

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy most?

When it comes to navigating the intricacies of etiquette and protocol, I rely on a few trusted authors whose works have profoundly shaped my understanding of social norms and behaviours. Maura J. Graber stands out with her insightful analysis and extensive research on historical etiquette, offering invaluable insights into how etiquette has evolved over the centuries. Additionally, Amy Vanderbilt's timeless classic, "New Complete Book of Etiquette," has been a personal favourite, providing not only clear guidance but also a warm and personable approach to the subject matter.  "Australian Protocol and Procedures" by Asher Joel and Helen Pringle has become my go-to resource for everything related to governmental, royal, business, and dining etiquette, offering comprehensive guidance tailored to various contexts. These authors and their works have been instrumental in shaping my understanding of etiquette and protocol, offering guidance that is both informative and enriching.

If you’d like to reach Elizabeth, she can be contacted via her website, email, etc… listed below:

www.auersmont.com | +61 466 344 331 | auersmont@gmail.com

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Australian BBQ Etiquette

Leave your phone in your back pocket or bag. Australians love to chat and tell stories and vice versa. If you are constantly on your phone, it will indicate that you are not interested in being there and you will be remembered by your hosts and other guests for all the wrong reasons.

There is nothing like the aroma of a BBQ. For Australians, the summertime BBQ is a time-honored, iconic institution. All of us crave the taste of a BBQ. I know I do! Australian BBQs are usually relaxed, jovial gatherings, which everyone loves to attend. How did Australians come to love the BBQ? Let us head back in time, back to when Australia was first being settled by the British.

The only way of cooking was to use wood, fire and the meat that was brought over on the first fleet of ships and thereafter. Those who became the stockmen, drovers and swagmen (shepherds in Australia), who would drive thousands of stock from feeding place to feeding place, in remote places over long periods of time, would cook and eat meat from the land. Perhaps it was kangaroo, wallaby or their own stock, like lamb or beef.

 To complement the BBQ’d meat, damper (an Australian soda bread) would be made. Traditionally, damper was made from wheat flour, salt, baking soda or Irish soda, it was cooked in the ashes of the campfire or ‘damped’ fire. It could also be used as a dessert, when golden syrup was added.

Though the term was somewhat known as a large, outdoor feast, the word, ‘barbecue,’ (or the shortened, ‘BBQ’) was rarely used in Australia. According to an Australian food timeline, backyard barbecues in Australia didn’t take hold as the social events that they have now become, until the early 1900s. The first use of ‘barbecue,’ for an Australian event is reportedly a notice for the Waverley Bowls Club’s Leg o’ Mutton Barbecue in 1903. 

The term caught on for more social and civic events in the following years. It wasn’t until the 1950s though, that the idea of private BBQs in outdoor kitchens really caught on. Since then, Australians have never looked back. 

 

Here are a few tips when you receive that very Australian BBQ invitation:

1. Reply back as soon as you acquire your invitation. A good Australian host will need to know how much meat, sausages and salad to purchase fresh on the day of the BBQ.

2. Find out what your host would like you to bring. Your host may say either one of three things when asked: A host or hostess may ask that you *“bring nothing.” That is self-explanatory. Or a host or hostess may say, “BYOB.” BYOB in traditional Australian culture, means to “bring your own beer.” Leaving any not consumed for the host at the end of the gathering, will suffice for bringing no present at all. The third could be “bring a plate.” Don’t assume your host will be actually needing plates! It means to bring a dish of consumables to share, such as a salad, a vegetarian cold bake or a dessert.

Popular beers enjoyed at an Australian BBQ? Traditionally seen at Australian BBQs are Coopers Brewery Original Pale Ale, Crown Lager, Little Creatures Pale Ale, Carlton Draught, James Boag’s Premium Lager, Victoria Bitter, Tooheys New, Cascade Draught, Tooheys Extra Dry, Hahn Super Dry, Corona Extra, and Heineken.

Salads commonly seen at BBQs are potato salad, rice, coleslaw, pasta, lettuce based salads with avacado, Greek or even Caesar style salads.

Cold vegetarian bakes can include quiches, vegetables with cheese toppings, vegetable and pasta bakes, roasted vegetables.

Desserts to finish the night are often Pavlova, trifle, fruit salad, cheese platter, swiss roll or chocolate cake.

3. Being invited to a BBQ is an informal affair. No need to dress up. Casual, chic and comfortable is advised. You will be possibly standing on the lawn, it’s best to leave your heels at home and wear espadrilles, ballet flats and even thongs.

4. Arrive at the suggested time. When you arrive you may find a friendly game of backyard cricket or badminton. You may be encouraged to join in or watch the kids play. 

5. Assist the host or hostess if you see that help is needed. Ask though, before jumping in. Many BBQs are informal occasions and you’ll possibly receive a casual invitation on the day itself, or the day before. Don't be scared to pitch in, or to offer a hand. It can make for great conversation and it helps you to get to know others swiftly.

6. What you will find cooking on the BBQ will most often be steak, sausages, marinated chicken, mince patties, lamb chops, onions, seafood grilled and few vegetables such as corn, capsicum or pumpkin.

Don’t touch the BBQ while hot. For many reasons, at an Australian BBQ there will always be a designated cook. They will assume responsibility for cooking the meat to perfection. Feel free to gather around the BBQ and chat with your host, with a drink in hand. The cook or host will be more than happy to accommodate the way you like your meat to be cooked. Taking over, you might find that a further invite may not be forthcoming. Complimenting the chef, however, works like a charm and you’ll probably be invited back.

7. Every good Australian household will have mosquito repellent, in the form of coils that can be burnt away from the dining setting or you can spray repellent during the night. Your host will usually store this in the laundry cupboard, however, a polite guest won’t go through someone else’s cupboards without permission to do so. If you are eating inside, all windows and doors have fly screens to keep the buzzing enemies on the right side of the door.

8. Leave your phone in your back pocket or bag. Australians love to chat and tell stories and vice versa. If you are constantly on your phone, it will indicate that you are not interested in being there and you will be remembered by your hosts and other guests for all the wrong reasons.

9. Lastly, after thanking your host and or hostess, again compliment your cook, and leave at the suggested time. 

* After being told to “bring nothing,” if you feel inclined to bring a gift for your host or hostess, steer away from chocolates, which are too easily meltable in the Australian summer heat. Flowers are also risky, as the heat can cause the petals to wither and burn. What makes a great BBQ host or hostess gift? An unusual bottle opener, personalized stubby holders (bottle or can koozies), or a bottle of wine to be opened and enjoyed at a later date.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia