Gilded Age D.C. Etiquette Coach

            

Etiquette arbiter— The young woman who is practically the ruler of Washington Society. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions. 

She Coaches the President's Wife in Social Affairs 

Unique Position Occupied by Miss Isabel Hagner in Mrs. Roosevelt's Household, Where It Will Be Her Duty to Supervise Details of State Functions and Name Guests 

*A second debut article from 2016*

WASHINGTON— Miss Isabel Hagner, daughter of Dr. Charles E. Hagner of this city, is the first appointee to the unique office of social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss Hagner is eminently fitted for this position. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions.

She has made a profound study of the laws of etiquette and she brings to her work the experience gained by acting in a similar capacity for Mrs. Hay, wife of the Secretary of State; Mrs. Root, wife of the Secretary of War; Mrs. Charles Emory Smith, wife of the Postmaster General; Mrs. Hanna and Miss Paulding, niece of Senator Depew.

As the social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Hagner's duties will be arduous and various. Besides keeping up the large private correspondence she will supervise all the details of the state functions. She will know the little private enmities and animosities which often embarrass hospitable occasions, and it will be her task to arrange the functions with a view to personal harmony.

A revision of the guest list will be confided to her, and this alone is no light duty. The unofficial functions at the White House probably outnumber the official events. Miss Alice Roosevelt's debut and the entertainment given especially for her will be under Miss Hagner's direction and it will be her duty to name the young women figuring in official, and resident society, who are entitled to invitations from the President's daughter. — San Francisco Call, 1901

  🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Dignity at U.S. Capital

Newcomer wives at the nation’s capital didn’t know the dress or etiquette required of them, “Before the end of the first session, they learn to get their gowns from Paris and their gloves from-who-ever is the most the mode; while about the etiquette of visits and the place they insist on at table they are as inflexible as if they had been born at the White House and never been out of sight of the Capitol.” – Above, public domain image of high fashion from Europe of 1888.

Originally, it is said in history, the United States senate was a very dignified body; its members were returned for many successive terms; they were men who belonged to the old colonial aristocracy, which held itself aloof from and above the people as distinctly as the landed gentry does to-day in England. 

The tradition of this has descended; much of the dignity, it is true, has evaporated, but the recollection of the personal consideration still lingers, and the women of the family make the most of it. It is amusing to watch some of these ladies. 

Many arrive in Washington knowing nothing of the social usages that prevail there; ignorant of the very meaning of precedence; not aware that people ever go in to dinner in any peculiar order or with any significance. They wear high bodied gowns and unfashionable gloves when they first dine out and make their husbands put on yellow cravats to “look like other men.” But all this changes in single season. 

Before the end of the first session, they learn to get their gowns from Paris and their gloves from-who-ever is the most the mode; while about the etiquette of visits and the place they insist on at table they are as inflexible as if they had been born at the White House and never been out of sight of the Capitol. –Adam Badeau in New York World, 1888

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Etiquette in Vogue at D.C.

Extravagant floral arrangements and lights decorate the East Room of the White House for the state dinner given by President Theodore Roosevelt, in honor of Prince Henry of Prussia in 1902. – “… An invitation or a summons of any kind to the White House as a command. This, of course, is borrowed from Royalty.”

The custom is being recognized more and more of regarding an invitation or a summons of any kind to the White House as a command. This, of course, is borrowed from Royalty. President McKinley invited Senator Platt, of New York, to the White House near the end of his first term to meet a distinguished company at dinner. Senator Platt did not go. When he was asked why, he pleaded that he had a previous engagement. But so far as known, no person since Mr. Roosevelt has been President, has pleaded any reason other than illness for declining an invitation to dinner or luncheon, and, indeed, there is little doubt that if a plea of a previous engagement were made now the President would resent it. Even the French Ambassador had to call off a dinner on one day's notice because he had been bidden to the White House. – Press Democrat, 1905

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

White House Civilities for Incomings

During her residence in the White House, Mrs. Grover Cleveland stood up in all the beauty of her young womanhood and bravely shook hands with the mighty public until she had to take her rings and gloves off, until her fingers were swollen, her arm was lame and her hand was like a puff ball. After every reception her maid had a solution ready to bathe her dislocated members, and it was often necessary to rip her sleeve up in order to get it off. 

 

It is an unwritten law of etiquette that the family of the out-going President should receive the family of the incoming President at the White House on inauguration day and immediately after the ceremonies at the Capitol. President and Mrs. Cleveland made an exception and asked President-elect and Mrs. Harrison to dine with them at the White House on the evening preceding the day of the inauguration. They did not, however, remain in the White House on inauguration day, and when President and Mrs. Harrison went there the employees and servants alone received them. President Harrison will observe the usual etiquette and will omit no courtesy. After the ceremonies at the Capitol Mr. Harrison will return to the White House, where Mrs. McKee will remain, and, as the outgoing hostess, will assist him in receiving President and Mrs. Cleveland. — Philadelphia Times, March, 1893

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Presidential Entertaining

The President gives only three state dinners annually. These are all his position demands and are arranged to take place each season between New Years Day and the beginning of Lent.  – Public domain image of The assassination of the US President William McKinley, Buffalo (NY) 1901

THE WHITE HOUSE:

President McKinley Will Give Great Feasts.

Will Begin Them This Spring

Etiquette Does Not Compel the President to Be 

“At Home” Until January 1, 1898

WASHINGTON, March 26.- “I'll give you $50,000 a year, Mr. President, but don't forget that I expect you to spend a part of it in official dinners to the end that the dignity, hospitality and etiquette of the greatest republic on earth may be maintained.”That's what Uncle Sam says to every incoming President. And the President obeys, whether he wants to or not. For over his head hang these solemn, dyspeptic duties, as unwritten and as arbitrary as the British constitution.

Of course, the United States pays a part of the palace expenses of its four-year king. There's the steward at $1800, and the gardener at $2000 a year. They are Federal officials, if you please. National funds are also furnished for fuel, $3000; greenhouses, $5000; keeping up White House grounds, $5000; electric lights in grounds, $1700; contingent expenses of Executive Mansion, including two horses, carriage, stationery, record books, telegrams, books for library, furniture, carpets for offices and miscellaneous items, $8000.

The President gives only three state dinners annually. These are all his position demands and are arranged to take place each season between New Year’s Day and the beginning of Lent. The exact dates, therefore, may vary, but in general: 

• The Cabinet dinner usually falls in the week following New Years.
• The Diplomatic Corps’ dinner comes about three weeks later.
• The Supreme Court dinner is usually given in the first week in February.

The cost of these dinners falls on the personal pocketbook of the Executive, and, from the best information obtainable, each affair should subtract just $1333.33 from his $50,000 annual total. The consensus of opinion among Washington caterers places the expense entailed by these dinners at $4000 a year. And this, too, with flowers and music free. For the floral decorations are all supplied from the White House conservatory and public greeneries, and Professor Fanciulli brings the Government Marine Band down from the barracks to play sweet arias for official ears.

Of course, this expense for edibles varies with the personal tendencies of the Presidents. Since the time of the immortal Lincoln, only two Presidents liked to entertain for the sake of entertaining and held their purse strings correspondingly loose. They were Grant and Arthur. 

Garfield undoubtedly possessed the same temperament and would have indicated it had he been allowed life and continuance in office. Cleveland, Harrison and Hayes are credited with regarding these three functions as somewhat laborious, however officially necessary. Quite naturally, then, they did not go to extra expense in order that these occasions might be particularly brilliant and memorable.

McKinley has already shown an old-fashioned, open-handed liberality. He has entertained chance guests sumptuously, and though he need not bother himself about official etiquette until January, 1898, he has prepared for some very fine McKinley has already shown an old- fashioned, open-handed liberality. He has entertained chance guests sumptuously, and though he need not bother himself about official etiquette until January, 1898, he has prepared for some very fine receptions and dinners this spring of a semi-official nature.

Florists and caterers report with glee that his orders have already exceeded any given by the outgoing President during his whole four years, and from sly hints let drop there will be some feast-giving that has never been equaled in this country. He will undoubtedly usher in 1898 and the social whirl with an éclat worthy of the return to power of the political party which gave him its highest honor.

The state dinners are all given in the state dining-room, are served on a Government silver and china service and Government linen, and are under the general supervision of the Federal White House steward. He is assisted by waiters paid out of the private pocket of the President, since the regular domestic staff of the Executive Mansion is generally quite limited. The table is always laid in the shape of a longitudinal section of an hour glass turned on its side.

To the Cabinet dinner are usually invited, besides the Secretaries and their wives, the Vice-President and Speaker of the House and their wives, and very occasionally one or two of the more distinguished members and Senators and their wives. The Diplomatic dinner may also include, besides the diplomats, members of the Foreign Affairs Committees of the two houses of Congress and the Secretary and Assistant Secretary of State. It is naturally the most brilliant of the three dinners, made so by the splendid official dress of foreign representatives. 

To the Supreme Court dinner, besides the Chief Justices and Associate Justices and their wives, come also the Attorney-General and a few distinguished guests from Senate and House. The President The President is usually dined each season by the members of the Cabinet in turn, beginning with the Secretary of State and down in the order of rank. This is official etiquette, but extends no further than the Cabinet. The President is also sometimes a dinner guest of the Chief Justice or one of the Associate Justices, but he is never the guest of a Foreign Minister. Such an action might be construed to have official significance, and an unwritten law requires that he keep away from these gentlemen.

Mere White House receptions do not lower the private bank account of a President, although they do test his hand-shaking powers to the utmost. Officially there are five of these receptions in the following order: New Years, Diplomatic, Congress and Judiciary, Army and Navy and marine corps and public. There are no fixed dates for these functions. They are planned and published at the beginning of the season.

All in all, most ex-Presidents would probably tell you that their social duties cost them more in physical and mental exertion than in dollars and cents of salary. The stately and solemnly important official dinner and the interminable line of people who must be hand-grasped and smiled at in receptions-these are more to be reckoned than caterers’ bills and dress-makers’ accounts.—By Yrome Retsof, 1896

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age White House Entertaining

Lucy Webb Hayes was a popular hostess in Washington D.C. ; “Mrs. Hayes, on one of her tours with her husband, was asked if she did not get tired of seeing so many people and going so much, and she replied: ‘Oh, no; I never get tired of having a good time.’”—  Laura Carter Holloway — She never tired of “having a good time”? One can only imagine how a U.S. First Lady would be excoriated in the press today if she were to give us such an answer! 

Etiquette and Protocol

At these affairs, a balance between men and women was maintained. Upon arrival, guests gathered in the East Room where the gentleman received an envelope containing the name of his dinner partner. At 7:00 P.M., the President and First Lady appeared. They led a double procession from the Red Parlor into the dining room.

 

During Hayes’ term in office, state dinners were served a la Russe - in the Russian style of bringing prepared plates and bowls from a separate serving area. No food or serving dishes appeared on the table to detract from the elaborate centerpieces, candlesticks, etc. Because Lucy was fond of fresh flowers, bouquets from the White House Conservatory were prominent on the tables. Each guest chose between two offerings for each course. The multi-course dinners could last up to three hours. Following dinner, Lucy was fond of leading guests into the conservatory.

Dinner with the Hayes Family

The Hayeses entertained close to 400 guests at formal and informal dinners during their four years at the White House. Cabinet members, politicians - friend and foe alike - intellectuals, literary figures, and military officers were frequent guests. Fellow Ohioans, Congressmen William McKinley and James A Garfield, were the Hayeses most frequent guests. Future president William McKinley, Hayes’ close friend and Civil War comrade, attended dinner 17 times while Garfield enjoyed dinner at the White House eleven times

. 

Even though the First Lady had the social obligations of her "office," she had no hired staff. Lucy Webb Hayes invited nieces, cousins, and the daughters of friends to stay at the White House. The young ladies assisted as hostesses, attending state dinners, Lucy’s Tuesday evening levees, and Saturday receptions. Everyone benefited from the arrangement: Lucy had help with her entertaining, and the young ladies enjoyed Washington society. The letters of Lucy Scott West, penned during her stay at the White House, offer a rare, first-hand glimpse into White House social events during the Hayes Administration.—From The Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

“Social Precedence” Becomes Fad

Even though the new country had thrown off the yoke of the British monarchy fewer than 130 years earlier, by the Edwardian era and Edward VII’s reign, many Americans were not only enthralled by the British aristocratic class system and monarchy, but marrying into it in large numbers.

A 2nd Look at the Growth of Monarchical Customs at the Nation's Capital

Other parts of the country may be amused by the wrangling and heart-burnings incident to the coronation of King Edward, but Washington follows them with serious and sympathetic interest. Only a few Americans have any idea of the rigid system of etiquette which has grown up at the national capital. 

The other day a high officer of the government said: “My daughter went to lunch with the daughter of Secretary yesterday. She did not come home until long after she was expected, and her mother asked her what was the matter. ‘Oh,’ she said, ‘Secretary’s daughter was there, and none of us could go until she left, and we thought she never would go.’ And I find that precedent is carried out in the strictest possible way all through Washington society in all of its sets, down to the very children.”

If there are any persons in official life in Washington who do not attach importance to precedence, do not resent being seated out of rank at table or in other ways given less than their exact official amount of deference, these persons keep extremely quiet. In Washington one ceases to be surprised at hearing of persons of national reputations complaining fiercely because they have been to some trivial slight in this matter of precedence. It irritates a cabinet officer to be put a shade out of his rank just as much as it irritates a congressman from nowhere or a government clerk.

Precedence is killing Washington as a place of residence. It is destroying its chief charm. If one thinks of going there to live it is because he expects to have the opportunity to meet in the easy circumstances of social intercourse people who are interesting or amusing or curious. That social intercourse is becoming practically impossible. No one giving any sort of entertainment, however informal, dares to arrange his or her guests according to congeniality. The same people must always be put next to each other. The same man must take the same woman into dinner. The same youth must dance with the same girl. And as official life expands the blight of precedence spreads.

It is difficult for an outsider to listen without laughing or showing irritation, as the Washingtonians discuss precedence and relate incidents of national and international catastrophes almost brought about by violations of it. But as some of the persons who most strenuously insist upon it are otherwise high above the human average, it would be well, before utterly condemning the Washingtonians, to reflect whether the craze for precedence is not a universal human weakness, latent– happily latent – in most of us because it has no chance to show itself.

However, if Washington is to be saved as a residence city, some scheme must be devised where under precedence and its complications and its depressing influences shall be confined to formal international functions for the diplomatists, who are primarily responsible for the present state of affairs.- New York Times, 1902

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Restraints for “Commoners”

 “A deferential manner need not be any barrier to pleasant intercourse,” a proposition that it rather nullified by a later reminder that if “presented to any member of the royal family, or if they shake hands on meeting any one whom they know, it is quite wrong to speak unless some remark is first made,” presumably by the royal person, though this fact is not altogether clear in the reading. How “pleasant intercourse” is going to be brought about by such a one-sided condition of affairs is not at once apparent. – Above, Princess Victoria. She was the fourth child and second daughter of King Edward VII and Alexandra of Denmark, and the younger sister of King George V. 
– photo source, Pinterest  

It is very illuminating to the democratic American mind to read of the restraints and ceremonials that surround royalty on the other side of the water. A weekly journal in a paper on “Etiquette Regarding Royalty,” starts off with a warning that “it is a fatal mistake to relax any etiquette due to them,” meaning the royal personages, and regrets that this is sometimes done. The writer then goes on with the gracious intimation that “a deferential manner need not be any barrier to pleasant intercourse,” a proposition that it rather nullified by a later reminder that if “presented to any member of the royal family, or if they shake hands on meeting any one whom they know, it is quite wrong to speak unless some remark is first made,” presumably by the royal person, though this fact is not altogether clear in the reading. How “pleasant intercourse” is going to be brought about by such a one-sided condition of affairs is not at once apparent.


Further on in the paper it is pointed out that “If any one is dancing in the circle where the royal family may be waltzing, either at a Court ball or otherwise, it is etiquette to stop when they are dancing, so as to avoid the possibility of being in their way. As a rule, one part of the ballroom at Buckingham Palace is specially kept for the royal circle, and the general company do not dance in it. Partners for any of the young Princesses are chosen, and the Vice Chamberlain or other officials inform the gentleman that he is to have the honor of dancing with a Princess. In no case would any one ask for a dance unless such intimation be given.” All of which is enlightenment that most Americans prefer to read about than to have to conform to, and makes one turn with relief to the simplicity of our White House code of manners. – The New York Times, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and White House Mistresses

 

During her residence in the White House, Mrs. Cleveland stood up in all the beauty of her young womanhood and bravely shook hands with the mighty public until she had to take her rings and gloves off, until her fingers were swollen, her arm was lame and her hand was like a puff ball. After every reception her maid had a solution ready to bathe her dislocated members, and it was often necessary to rip her sleeve up in order to get it off. 

Presidents’ Wives: Different Views of Different Mistresses of the White House

Mrs. James A. Garfield never got into harmony with the ostentation, excitement and vulgarity of public life. She is a woman of innate refinement, very domestic in her tastes, and the presumptions of the public grated on her. She could not reconcile herself to the privileges assumed by agents representing photographic and advertising companies, business firms, newspapers, artists and charitable, industrial and social organizations, and when she sent down word that she did not wish to become an adverting medium, that she did not want to be photographed, painted, interviewed or entertained, and that she begged to decline the testimonial of the club to which she was a stranger, she was most severely and cruelly assailed by message, letter and paragraph. 

In all her public life she did not receive ten reporters, says the New York World. Scores applied to her for audience, and very often poverty was offered as a plea for the coveted interview. To these importunators she frequently sent a sealed envelope containing a bill and a “please excuse me from newspaper comment” written on the back of her visiting card. She used to say that she “felt like a baby elephant” every time she received with the President. While fully recognizing her obligations as the wife of the Chief Magistrate, she argued at home and among her friends that she was not a politician, was not in office, and in no way compelled to make un exhibition of herself, her home and her children. There was no time between the election and burial of her husband, when she would not have gladly paid the newspaper writers and artists to decline the work assigned them. 

These very sentiments are entertained by Mrs. Harrison, who dreads publicity, suffers from the demands made upon her by strangers and shrinks from the ordeal of handshaking, committees and delegates bearing testimonials, resolutions or documents inquiring her approval. Last winter, while a member of Mrs. Wanamaker's Delsarte class, she entered the drawing-room just as Mrs. Russell was showing the Wanamaker girls how to bow. There was the little bow of the head, which would suffice for an employee in the “depot”; there was the warmer salutation, with an advancing of the chest, for the formal caller: there was a still more cordial salute, accompanied by a responsive movement of the head and torso, and finally the low, grand, sweeping bow from the head to the ankles, expressive of great respect, such as the Queen is accustomed to receive. 

Mrs. Harrison listened with undivided attention, and when the lesson was ended asked to be presented to Mrs. Russell, and during the conversation that ensued, talked very lively to the New York aesthete. She referred to the Grand Army reception when she carried a fan and bouquet, so as to have ample excuse for not shaking hands, and to which innovation the Logan division took swift violent offense. “I was sorry,” Mrs. Harrison said. “I did not mean to show an indisposition to kindness or courtesy, but it was a physical impossibility for me to extend my hand. Had I been permitted to shake hands it would have been different, but to have others do it was more than my strength was equal to.” Mrs. Harrison is very frank on the subject, and while disposed to be pleasant and gracious refuses to manifest for strangers the cordiality that only her friends are entitled to. 

The approach of a stalwart from the mud lakes and prairies of the Sieto, Des Moines and Kansas rivers, with beaming face and open hand, gives her a chill, the discomfort of which is increased by the vigorous fanning necessary to the safety of her wrist. This aversion of the First Lady to cross hands with the grasping multitude will be the means of amending the etiquette of the reception and draw rooms of Washington, if not the United States. 

During her residence in the White House, Mrs. Cleveland stood up in all the beauty of her young womanhood and bravely shook hands with the mighty public until she had to take her rings and gloves off, until her fingers were swollen, her arm was lame and her hand was like a puff ball. After every reception her maid had a solution ready to bathe her dislocated members, and it was often necessary to rip her sleeve up in order to get it off. This girl bride liked the public, and the affection was returned. She was gracious obliging and indulgent to a degree, but impertinence was met by revolt. She sent to Paris for her clothes because she was too well known in Washington, Albany and New York to buy them at home. When she wanted shoes, bonnets or gloves, an order was sent to her dress-maker, who purchased them in her own name. 

Mrs. General Grant has not one adverse criticism to pass on the great unwashed. She admits that she cried like a baby the day she left the White House. A special train carried the General's party to New York, but she says, “I watered the journey with my tears. The General stood between me and any annoyances that might have occurred, but I was very happy; my life was eight years of bliss and one round of pleasure.”– San Francisco Call, 1890

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washington Ladies’ Code of Etiquette

This photo of Mrs. Grover Cleveland along with the wives of her husband’s Cabinet Secretaries, was taken in 10 years after this article was published, in 1897. –  The ladies' visiting code admits of great latitude, and rules must be observed to avoid complications... Many compromising episodes result through lack of “time” and method. Not long ago a new member of official society, with ambition to call where the largest number of carriages were seen, found herself at a funeral! 

The ladies' code of etiquette in Washington D.C. is complicated, and it is important to be understood. Ladies of the Diplomatic Corps receive first visits from official society, and duly return the same in good form. There is a friction between Senate ladies and Cabinet ladies regarding first calls, but the common law of custom exists, and should be gracefully accepted. There was more excuse for sensitiveness during the present administration than has existed before. The Cabinet ladies were entirely new members of Washington society, excepting the honored and beloved wife of the Secretary of State, who was called to a higher court before social etiquette of the new administration was established, and naturally they felt the newness of their position, and, from a home point of view, regarded it etiquette for the older members of society to make the first call upon the new, hence a conflict, without an authorized umpire to decide a vexed question.

The ladies' visiting code admits of great latitude, and rules must be observed to avoid complications. The old rule of fixed days in every part of the city was best. Why any innovation from the old rule is regarded with favor, I am unable to say; but if carriage hire has produced this result, let it be canceled by “Jeffersonian simplicity,” and ladies take time to enter and leave the house with formality due a hostess, and not pay visits as if life depended on the action. Many compromising episodes result through lack of “time” and method. Not long ago a new member of official society with ambition to call where the largest number of carriages were seen, found herself at a funeral. – Brooklyn Magazine, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette, Gossip and Feminine Fancies

More harmless than malicious, with the exception of the description of one Gilded Age wife, "Feminine Fancies" was the title of a Gilded Age newspaper society column. Without the likes of today's TMZ, Extra, E!, this was a way to cover the society women of the day, and pass on a bit of gossip at the same time. The following is one such column: Gilded Age beauty, and wife to U.S. President, Grover Cleveland, Frances Cleveland, didn't fancy wine.

Mrs. Cleveland never drinks wine.

Mrs. William Masters is credited with owning $2,000,000 worth of jewelry.

Drop on inn to Lady Henry Somerset's

Lady Henry Somerset, so it appears in the parliamentary statistics, is the owner of two licensed inns.            

Unless Mrs. Henry M. Stanley was living like someone on "Hoarders," due to her parasol collection, I'm not sure why this "marvelous" collection was deemed "peculiar" society column news fodder. 

Mrs. Henry M. Stanley has a peculiar fad. Her hobby is parasols, of which she has a truly marvelous collection.

Mrs. Ann Walter Thomas, and English lady otherwise noted as a linguist, has the credit of being the best Welsh scholar living.

New York's well-known society woman, Mrs. Marshall O. Roberts who took to husband Colonel Ralph Vivian, of the English army, is said to have presented him a policy on her own life for $100,000.

After writing three recent posts on the very popular Washington D.C. wives of the Chinese Minister and Corean Chargés d'Affaires, we at Etiquipedia, sadly, have not been able to find a photo or depiction of either. We especially are quite taken with the descriptions of Mrs. Ye Cha Un. If any of our readers can lead us to a photo, we would be very grateful! The photo above is a depiction of what a Corean/Korean woman of the late 19th Century would have worn. It is from http://english.chosun.com/

Mrs. Tsue Kwo Yin, wife of the Chinese Minister at Washington, never goes out with her husband, but Mrs. Ye Cha Yun, wife of the Corean Chargés d'Affaires left Corean customs at home and goes almost every where her husband goes.

Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief... Congressman Springer's wife is NOT a bluestocking intellectual!

Congressman Springer's wife is described as a charming little woman, as lively as a cricket, devoted to her home and the interests of her husband. She has written more or less for publication, though she is not a bluestocking. All the young people like her.

Poor Mrs. Kipling was on the receiving end of a mean spirited comment, and we are not sure why. We are happy to read she is “bright” and “entertaining,” though.

Miss Balastier, who wedded writer Rudyard Kipling, was a New York girl until she went to live with her brother, Walcott Balastier, in London. Kipling's bride is not pretty, but she is very bright and entertaining. She is very petite, blue-eyed and brown haired.

A grown up Consuelo Vanderbilt, in a photograph with her two young children.

Miss Consuelo Vanderbilt, the 14-year-old daughter of Mr. W. K. Vanderbilt, is a handsome child, with hair and eyes as dark as a Spanish gypsy and the imperious manners of a young princess. She is quite a marvel of erudition and speaks German and French, Chinese and Italian with equal fluency.

From Rome New York's, Daily Sentinel, 1891


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette: The Dish on White House State Dinners

December 12, 1874: The first visiting head of state to attend a State Dinner at the White House was King David Kalakaua of the Kingdom of Hawaii, hosted by Ulysses S. Grant. 

Early 19th century dinners honoring the President's Cabinet, Congress, or other dignitaries were called 'State Dinners' even though they lacked official foreign representation. Under such conditions, large receptions and dinners were a rare occurrence. Washington D.C. society was a collection of widely separated, isolated villages, and at times almost inaccessible.

 June 8, 1939: Seating arrangements for the State Dinner for George VI of the United Kingdom, hosted by President and Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt...  Months of meticulous planning go into a State Dinner. The guest of honor’s country, culture, and favored preferences are thoroughly researched. The First Lady often chooses the décor and entertainment to highlight a certain aspect of American culture. Together, these considerations are translated into invitations, menus, guest lists, and entertainment. The results can be a form of diplomatic dialogue between the host and guest cultures.

As the times changed, so did the nation’s capital. A series of State Dinners were soon held every winter social season to honor Congress, the Supreme Court, and members of the Diplomatic Corps.

Extravagant floral arrangements and lights decorate the East Room of the White House for the state dinner given by President Theodore Roosevelt in honor of Prince Henry of Prussia in 1902.

In the late 19th century’s Gilded Age, the term ‘State Dinner’ had become synonymous with a dinner hosted by the President honoring a foreign head of state. The first visiting head of state to attend a State Dinner at the White House was King David Kalakaua of theKingdom of Hawaii, hosted by Ulysses S. Grant on December 12, 1874. According to Barry H. Landau’s book “The President’s Table,” there were just 36 guests but “as many as 29 courses,” all of them French, which was de rigueur at the time.

The Dish on White House China

Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, an accomplished china painter, designed her own official White House china in 1889 and, what's more, initiated the first continuous White House collection -- by now, what with breakage and pilferage, a fascinating assemblage of remnants.

In 1840, gold table settings became Presidential campaign issue. Helping William Henry Harrison, a simple frontiersman, grab the Presidency from Martin Van Buren. When Benjamin Harrison, his grandson, won the Presidency later, his wife, Caroline Harrison, wanted new White House china that would be “symbolic and meaningful to Americans.” The First Lady, an artist herself, placed the Coat of Arms of the United States in the center of the plates, and designed a goldenrod and corn motif etched in gold around a wide band of blue. The corn represents Mrs. Harrison’s home state of Indiana. Forty-four stars, one for each state at the time, make up the inner border. Mrs. Harrison directed a large-scale remodeling effort of the White House, adding a china closet to display all past Presidential china services. Caroline Harrison was not able to use the china she had ordered, as she died before it was delivered. The china arrived in December 1892.

Over the last 40 or so years, of the First Ladies who tried to supply full services for the usual 120 guest state dinners, very few have succeeded (Betty Ford doesn't count; she was in residence to briefly). Lady Bird Johnson contributed a 220 place wildflower service designed by Tiffany and company, produced by the American from Castleton, and paid for by Jane and Engelhard, the Far Hills, New Jersey, philanthropist.

Lady Bird Johnson is also known as "the first lady of wildflowers" in Texas. Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson held over State Dinners along with weddings for both their daughters while in the White House

Pat Nixon was ready to give Lenox the go ahead for a service Clement Conger helped design but suddenly cancelled; a few days later Nixon resigned.  Rosalynn Carter made do with pieces from this service and that, intending to produce a set of Carter china later. There was no later; she overestimated Jimmy's re-electability. 

Turning the tables for a moment, this photo captures Richard Nixon at a State Dinner in China:  Mr. Nixon and First Lady Pat Nixon gave more State Dinners than any other first couple. “I believe I produced 76,” social secretary Lucy Winchester Breathitt, told Vanity Fair. Nixon was particular about where people sat at his State Dinners. Concerning Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, he noted in a memo: “Henry should not always be put next to the most glamorous woman present.  It’s starting to cause unfavorable talk that serves no useful purpose.”

By the time Nancy Reagan became First Lady, the most complete service, Lady Bird's, was down to 90 settings.  The handsome red and 24 karat gold-rimmed Lenox china -- designed by Nancy Reagan and Ted Graber with the Presidential seal should be around for awhile, even with occasional breakage; the 4,391 pieces include 220 place settings, 19 pieces per place.

Ronald and Nancy Reagan hosted 59 State Dinners in the two Presidential terms they spent in the White House.  Reagan loved to entertain, and preferred to serve California wines.

During the George W. Bush administration, 320 more formals sets sets of china were added for White House State Dinners (and 75 informal sets of china for the private quarters of the White House) though George and Laura Bush held very few State Dinners during their two terms-- only eleven in total.

George W. Bush White House state china in gold rim with a green basket-weave pattern and a historically-inspired gold eagle, manufactured by Lenox.

Dinner for 140

The White House “China Room” in 1918

The ground floor China Room is where the White House collection of china is kept. Even the earliest presidents received government funds to purchase state china. However, by a special clause in the appropriation bills, "decayed furnishings" could be sold and the proceeds used to buy replacements. Such "furnishings" included state china, and during the 19th century the cupboards were frequently swept clean and the contents carted off to auction. The money could then be used to order a new china service that better suited the president and his family.

Even into the 20th century, White House china was often given away if it was chipped or broken. Later, Congress passed a law that required that all presidential china be kept or destroyed. When new dessert plates for the Johnson administration turned out badly, the White House staff smashed it against a basement wall painted with caricatures of the president's assistants.

Today, nearly all presidents are represented in the china collection one way or another. And full services suitable for state dinners exist for the B Harrison, Wilson, FD Roosevelt, Truman, L Johnson, Reagan, and Clinton sets, although the older sets are much smaller than the newer ones and cannot be used for the largest events. Replacement pieces are occasionally ordered for these, as pieces become chipped or broken.

Wilson — 120 settings

FD Roosevelt — 120 settings

Truman — 120 settings

L Johnson — 216 settings

Reagan — 220 settings

Clinton — 300 settings

Bush — 320 setting formal set, 75 setting informal set

Above from the White House Museum.Org

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia