Royal Etiquette Rules in England

It is as well to avoid the too frequent repetition of “Your Majesty.” It gets on the nerves of some royal persons when introduced in almost every sentence.

ETIQUETTE WITH ROYALTY

Presentation to a royal personage is often regarded as a nervous business for the reason that the person presented does not exactly know what is the correct thing to say or do. Whether it be a formal or an informal presentation, the same rule holds good. The King is addressed as "Your Majesty," and the Queen in the same fashion. The ladies and gentlemen about the Court, and those who enjoy the friendship of the royal family say "Sir" or "Madam" when addressing King or Queen. The word "Madam" is usually pronounced "Ma'am" in this case.

It is as well to avoid the too frequent repetition of “Your Majesty.” It gets on the nerves of some royal persons when introduced in almost every sentence. “Your Royal Highness” is the mode of addressing all other members of the Royal Family than the King and Queen. In speaking of one member to another, one does not say "he" or "him," "she" or "her," but always uses the full phrase, “His Majesty,” "Her Majesty," "His Royal Highness," or "Her Royal Highness," as the case may be. —  Every Day Etiquette, by Mrs. Humphrey, 1900

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette and the Curtsey

The lady who favoured our Queen and her family with affable little nods and warmly shook hands with the Sovereign at one famous Drawing-Room is not yet forgotten, and has been the cause of many a hearty laugh. Another, the heel of whose shoe caught in her skirts, and who could not get up after her curtsey, and had to be carried from the Presence Chamber after the fashion of the old game of “Honey pots,” caused etiquette to be forgotten at the strictest Court in the world, a broad smile appearing on the Queen's own face, while the young Princesses tittered irrepressibly, and the Princess of Wales bit her pretty lips.

“The old-fashioned curtsey”

GIRLS are never taught to curtsey now, as they used to be. A real, old-fashioned “courtesy,” as it used to be spelled, is quite an elaborate performance. First, you draw back the right foot, getting it straight behind the other, and down you go, as far as the suppleness of your limbs will permit, coming up to the “recover” with all the weight on the right foot, and the left pointed out most daintily.

A curtsey is about the only thing in the world that is helped out by the high-heeled shoe. The only trace of this old-fashioned and very graceful bit of deportment is the deep reverence made by the ladies at Her Majesty’s Drawing- Rooms. Some of them perform it with practiced aplomb. Others never achieve it. There is a very pretty young Princess who plumps down with an alarming suddenness that always makes the Royal circle covertly smile.

Even when making the ordinary “bob” to Royalty on less ceremonious occasions, this lovely girl strikes her heel against the floor with a bump that seems to have arrived straight from the maddest moment of a merry breakdown. A well-known infinite grace, repeating it before the various members of the Royal circle at Drawing-Rooms, that the Queen's eyes invariably follow her with a glance of pleased approbation. A handsome countess of regal appearance makes a very imposing obeisance, but it is too stiff to be really graceful.

Among the numerous Americans presented, some carry themselves into the presence of Royalty with a truly republican air of equality and fraternity, contenting themselves with bowing to the Queen, as they would to their hostess of an afternoon reception. Others who have studied the matter more deeply, sink low with a willowy grace, just brushing with their lips the plump little white hand extended to them, then rising with a slightly backward movement that seems to accept dismissal and tacitly to disclaim any desire to unnecessary intrusion. “Quite theatrical!” said a very plump dowager of such a performance. Every one else had admired it. But perhaps the consciousness of an over-allowance of adipose tissue and blooming plumptitude, had rendered the dear lady inappreciative of slender grace and languorous ease in others.

The Queen is a lover of beauty, and a keen judge of it, both in form and face. The débutante whose appearance evokes a word of pleased comment from Her Majesty is always safe to be one of the beauties of her first season. And the Royal memory for faces is an excellent one. Any one who has had an opportunity of seeing the Queen walk through the lane of guests at a Royal garden party, Royal concert, or at any public function, will remember the glances cast from side to side, noting every face, keenly alive and discerning, awake to every circumstance and incident.

When listening to addresses or long speeches an expression of weariness, sometimes amounting to indifference and even apathy, occasionally settles down on the Royal countenance. Oh, those long addresses! How many years of Her Majesty’s life would be totaled up if the bad quarters of an hour spent in hearing addresses were laid end to end and make up into one huge sum of patient endurance? But when face to face with her people the Queen is full of quick perception. So beauty and grace do not go unrecognised at our Court of England. Nor do less agreeable characteristics.

The lady who favoured our Queen and her family with affable little nods and warmly shook hands with the Sovereign at one famous Drawing-Room is not yet forgotten, and has been the cause of many a hearty laugh. Another, the heel of whose shoe caught in her skirts, and who could not get up after her curtsey, and had to be carried from the Presence Chamber after the fashion of the old game of “Honey pots,” caused etiquette to be forgotten at the strictest Court in the world, a broad smile appearing on the Queen's own face, while the young Princesses tittered irrepressibly, and the Princess of Wales bit her pretty lips. The Prince looked as if he longed to give one of his great guffaws. Another memorable lady lost part of her bodice, and had to retire hastily in much confusion, wrapping herself in her train. All these incidents are remembered and credited to the correct names by one whose mind is not so much “ta’en up wi’ the things o’ the State,” as not to reserve a shelf for minor matters.

The Royal disapprobation of cosmetics, hair-dyes, and other forms of insincerity in personal appearance is not veiled in any way. To the application, or misapplication, of rouge society has become hardened, but when it is plastered on in quantities that defeat the very object of deception, for which it is used, a little open for which it is used, a little open comment from those in high places has worked wonders in reducing the evil. The cosmetic epidemic comes and goes like Bob Acres’ courage, but, unlike it, will never wholly disappear. — Manners for Women, by Mrs. Humphry, “Madge of Truth”, 1897

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Elizabeth II Chafed at Royal Etiquette

  A timely 2nd Debut article from 2016

Queen Elizabeth and the Duke of Edinburgh at the opening of Parliament in 1952

Elizabeth & Consort, Chafe At 

Rituals Of Royalty

Queen Elizabeth and the Duke of Edinburgh, as young folks might be expected to do, are chaffing a bit these days at the stupendous ritual and custom that hedges them around in the royal court. Wise courtiers say nothing and wait for the irritation to subside, as they know it will in the course of time. It always has.

Modernization of court proceedings is always in progress but it moves slowly. There are certain to be changes during the anticipated long reign of Elizabeth II, but nothing as dramatic as some of the sensational press are now demanding.

For one thing, it is obvious that pressure on the Queen, if the buffering army of functionaries were removed or cut radically, would be greater than it is under the present system. Thus, cutting away too much red tape would expose the Queen to the very evil from which her self-appointed saviors seek to rescue her.

The court of St. James is a very old court, and, in a county where tradition is venerated as nowhere else, there is a reluctance to drop customs for any reason whatsoever. It is quite true that there are servants in the royal households who have servants to wait upon them. But it has always been that way, and, despite the unionization of the palace help, there might be considerable unrest if this were changed.

It comes down to a question of whether the nation wants a court or doesn't want one. And Elizabeth is known to love the pomp, the panoply, the ceremonial which blazes about the British throne.

The royal household is an immense establishment. There are eleven private secretaries and assistants to the sovereign. There are 23 officials in the privy purse, treasury and royal charities office. There are 36 royal chaplains. There are 20 physicians and surgeons and a special coroner. And many others.

Before Queen Mary's time there were even greater numbers of royal courtiers, but the redoubtable old lady - as other queens before her - chopped away a few of the jobs. And her granddaughter, Elizabeth, will doubtless whittle away a few more.

By court etiquette, Elizabeth must not do anything directly. She can give orders to her private secretary, to her ladies of the bed-chamber or ladies in waiting, to her principal advisers and these, in turn, relay her orders to the lower echelons.

This has irked the Duke of Edinburgh more than any single rule of the palaces, and he has broken it more than once by strolling down corridors asking the desired information or giving orders in person. Queen Elizabeth is expected to shorten the chain of command down the line from the throne as her contribution to the streamlining of etiquette.

Another windmill at which the critics are tilting is the strict procedure for public engagements. The newspapers contend that the Queen should not be tied up a year ahead to visits such as the one to New Zealand. The implication is that these things ought to be spun-of-the-moment affairs quickly accomplished by plane instead of great processions by sea with public interest drummed up over a period of time.

This is a rather naive approach. New Zealand will invest a fortune in the Queen's visit and it may well be the event of the year there. Security has to be considered. Shops will get ready for extra business. New Zealanders from out-country may want to arrange to be at the points visited by the Queen. She will open playgrounds, lay cornerstones, attend ceremonials, make speeches. – (LONDON (U.P.) 21 January 1953

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

British Royal Etiquette is by Precedent

It’s interesting that for many years prior to 1968, the Lord Chamberlain’s Office played a much more significant role in British society. The Office was the official censor for every theatre performance performed in Britain. Overall, the theatre owners were satisfied by this arrangement, even if the playwrights were not. Owners were basically free from prosecution for any offense possibly caused by a play, that was as long as they presented only “licensed” plays. There were campaigns by some playwrights in opposition to what they saw as the Office’s censorship. Two (one in 1909 & one in 1911) were involving Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM, the author of the popular play, “Peter Pan,” according to Wikipedia and other sources.– Above,  public domain image of Scottish playwright, J.M. Barrie

Etiquette by Precedent

For example of how men may live and act according to precedent there can be no better reference than to the Lord Chamberlain’s office in London. There in quiet rooms, day after day, men learned in State etiquette, Court dress and Royal functions reach down in heavy volumes to see what was done on such and such an occasion. Beautiful pictures showing with minute exactness the details of the Court costume under various circumstances are ready to their hands. 

Is the Shah of Persia coming? Is the Kaiser soon to arrive? Is the King going to receive the Monarch of Siam? Is one of the Royal Princesses to be married? When any of these events happens the officials at the Lord Chamberlain’s office know exactly what to do. And if at some point should crop up anything which has not been raised for a century or more, they have the faithful official records as to what was done on the last like occasion. – San Luis Obispo Daily Telegram, July 1910

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Court Etiquette and Royal Perogative

King Edward VII and Queen Alexandra had other strange court etiquette, too. Every man and woman who has been invited down to Norfolk on a visit to their Majesties, gets weighed by either the King or Prince of Wales before leaving.

Edward was Rebuffed

It appears that one of the barbaric prerogatives of Royalty, which survives even in England, is the right of a member of the “Royal blood” to ask an introduction of any woman his fancy strikes. This custom is designated as “court etiquette.” The lady must feel highly honored, and the husband not offended, according to the law-givers of the court. 

This abominable practice was not allowed to lapse by the present King when he was the gay Prince of Wales, and an incident where he was rebuffed by an American woman has been recalled through the appointment of her son as one of the Secretaries to the special embassy named by President Roosevelt to attend the coronation.

Twenty years ago the Prince was at watering place, and espying the American woman, he sent an aide to ask her to lunch with him. She informed the aide that she had no desire to meet the Prince, and upon his approaching her with the evident determination of forcing an acquaintance, she turned her back and walked away.

It is now intimated that the son may find things uncomfortable in England when he goes on his mission. We think not. If the King has the horse sense of his average subject, he admired the woman all the more and appreciated her American spirit of independence and strict adherence to the laws of propriety. 

That a nation as enlightened as Britain should tolerate such a custom, ever under the guise of court etiquette, is one of the many inexplicable things in the world. To the true American woman the Prince of Wales is no more than any other man, and his presumption in seeking an introduction would be resented by the average American woman of to-day in the same commendable spirit as was displayed in the instance noted. — Stockton Record, 1902

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

U.S. Debutantes in England of 1932

The moment of glory will be the climax of weeks of excitement and preparation—hours spent at dressmakers, the trip from America, long lessons in Court etiquette and hours spent in a queue of limousines in the Mall awaiting their turn to enter the palace. 

LONDON, May 11 (AP). Twelve American women will stand for one brief moment before Britain’s King and Queen tonight and hear the softly spoken words of presentation to Royalty. They will then curtsey in solemn “Thank you” for the regal favor and depart, tired and perhaps wondering a bit, to their hotels. The moment of glory will be the climax of weeks of excitement and preparation—hours spent at dressmakers, the trip from America, long lessons in Court etiquette and hours spent in a queue of limousines in the Mall awaiting their turn to enter the palace. 

The American women who will meet King George and Queen Mary will be just individuals in a crowd of hundreds of presentees of all nations tonight and tomorrow night. They will receive no more Royal attention than the presentee of a minister of the smallest and most remote principality. The gathering of men, resplendent in decorations and knee breeches and women in their white gowns and crowned by ribbon bandeaux holding three spotless white plumes, make a never to be forgotten sight.— San Pedro News Pilot, 1932

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Henry VIII and Lenten Fasting

A fast meal served to Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon in 1526 included a first course of soup, herring, cod, lampreys, pike, salmon, whiting, haddock, plaice, bream, porpoise, seal, carp, trout, crabs, lobsters, custard, tart, fritters and fruit. – “We have a lot of mistaken ideas about how the Tudors ate. They didn't gnaw chicken greedily and throw bones on the floor, and there were no dogs fighting over scraps under trestle tables. In a well-conducted house, the dogs - except for little spaniels - were exiled to kennels. Table manners were strict and refined. Knowing how to cut your bread and what to do with your napkin was an infallible social signal that separated a gentleman from an oik, and every young noble learned to serve at table and to carve.”–Writer, Hilary Mantel

Lenten diets began to be phased out in England after Henry VIII's break with the Roman church in 1534. Four years later, the King issued a proclamation that the nation need no longer observe the Lenten fast, because, he was informed, of a scarcity of fish. Fish - a permitted food, as we have seen - had previously been abundant, at least on the King’s table, during the many fasting days of the Church calendar. A fast meal served to Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon in 1526, for example, included a first course of soup, herring, cod, lampreys, pike, salmon, whiting, haddock, plaice, bream, porpoise, seal, carp, trout, crabs, lobsters, custard, tart, fritters and fruit. 

This was followed by a second course of soup, sturgeon, carp, perch, eels with roast lampreys, shrimps, tarts, fritters, oranges, apples and baked eggs. The meal may have followed Church doctrine to the letter, but it was hardly a fast. During Lent the King’s servants were on the whole served a healthier but unvarying diet of brown bread (known as ‘cheat’), ale, herrings and salt cod. Fresh fish was always available for the King at Hampton Court Palace from the breeding ponds alongside its south gardens.— From “At the King’s Table,” by Susanne Groom

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Rigorous Royal Funeral Etiquette

“That is why Mr. Roosevelt rode behind persons of title, as did the special ambassador of the United States at the funeral of Queen Victoria. Etiquette prescribed the place in line; and etiquette is perhaps more rigorous at Royal funerals than at Royal festivals.” – Theodore Roosevelt was a special guest at the funeral of the British King Edward II
– Public domain image of former U.S. President, Theodore Roosevelt 

Theodore Roosevelt Guest of the King of Kings

First American Citizen Was Distinguished Guest at Monarch’s Table in England

Mr. Roosevelt did not loom in the procession which followed the late King to his grave and, but for his position. as special ambassador, he would not have been a part of it. There is no provision made for civilians at such. functions; and special ambassadors have to take the places assigned them by their rank, differentiating Royal from non-Royal envoys. And that is why Mr. Roosevelt rode behind persons of title, as did the special ambassador of the United States at the funeral of Queen Victoria. Etiquette prescribed the place in line; and etiquette is perhaps more rigorous at Royal funerals than at Royal festivals.

In his other relations with the English court, however, the ex-President has been treated with greater distinction than any other civilian on earth could expect to be. At the dinner given to the guests of the King he was at the right hand of the host; and the visiting Monarchs, with the notable exception of King Alfonso, singled him out for special courtesies. Of these, Emperor William was conspicuous. He likes Roosevelt; and he wanted to especially emphasize, not only that liking, but his desire to honor the people of the United States, so many of whom are of German derivation.

So the American people have no call to be sensitive over the order of the cortège and Mr. Roosevelt’s place in it. Had the point been stretched and Mr. Roosevelt been included among special envoys of Royal or imperial rank, it would have not only excited criticism at home and abroad, but it would have been offensive to the special ambassador of France, who held the same rank as his American colleague.– San Francisco Chronicle, May 1910

👑Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Court Etiquette for ‘Shopkeepers’

“… any lady in trade is not eligible to the privilege of attending a Royal drawing room…” – Selling items for charity was a considered a noble cause, but selling items for one’s own profit was seriously frowned upon. –
Above, Elizabeth McGovern as the fictional Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham, of “Downton Abbey”
 – Image source, Pinterest

London boasts a number of amateur shopkeepers, some of them titled women. Their devotion to the pursuit may be estimated when it is announced that it is an accepted rule of Court etiquette that any lady in trade is not eligible to the privilege of attending a Royal drawing room. Socially she may be received, but in Royal circles she has lost caste. From this side of the sea, such distinctions seem intensely puerile. – New York Times, 1892

 👑Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of a Queen’s Personal Servant

A bodyguard was just what Queen Victoria was in need of, when she decided to eschew the constraints of etiquette, especially in the Scottish Highlands. John Brown fit the bill, but Victoria's children and ministers resented the high regard she had for Brown, after the loss of her husband, Prince Albert. Predictably, rumors that there was something improper in Victoria’s relationship with John Brown, circulated throughout Royal circles . The 15th Earl of Derby, Edward Stanley, noted in his diary, that Brown and Victoria slept in adjoining rooms, “contrary to etiquette and even decency,” while the Queen's own daughters joked that the burly Scotchman was their, “mama's lover.” The Queen dismissed all this chatter as “ill-natured gossip in the higher classes.” — Image above from the 1997 film “Mrs Brown,” a fictionalised story of their friendship. Sir Billy Connolly portrays Brown and Dame Judi Dench portrays Queen Victoria.

“I have often seen Mr. Brown. When from time to time officers of the late-campaign have been decorated at Windsor, only journalists who have served as war correspondents have been admitted to the ceremony. I have, therefore, had several opportunities to witness the investure of most unheroic soldiers with unwon honors at the hands of their Sovereign. John Brown always accompanies her, standing a little behind and to her left. 

Tall, spare, sharp-featured, with fine blue eyes, and a really good head, with a pleasant demeanor, and very thin legs, he stands serious and attentive behind the chair which he has watched and guarded over for nearly forty five years. Mr. Brown is credited with great personal bravery. On three occasions when Her Majesty’s life has been attempted, he has distinguished himself by his well-directed efforts to protect the Queen, and on one occasion, a successful endeavor to hold the would-be assassin. With the household servants Brown is, naturally enough, unpopular. He enjoys the confidence of the Queen, and rules the household with a rod of iron, so far as he may. He is an authority on Court etiquette, a linguist, speaking half a dozen languages fluently, a classical scholar as well, and student of politics. 

I have never heard what his origin was beyond the fact that he is Scotch beyond a doubt, and has been in, the service of the Royal family since boyhood. Rumor gives it that the Prince of Wales hates him like poison and declines to meet him except when forced to do so by Royal command. The Queen has always sought to put him forward, but without success, exactly, and there are stories afloat which I advise you not to believe.”— London Correspondent of the Chicago Daily News, April, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Duke’s Respect of Court Etiquette

The Duke and the Queen seem always to have been on very affectionate terms, perhaps because he took her part in the controversy about the Prince’s position. “Let the Queen put the Prince where she likes,” he said, " and settle it herself; that is the best way.” An anecdote is told which shows that the Duke had not much respect for the traditions of Court etiquette when they conflicted with the dictates of common sense. 
– Photo source of the Duke and the Queen from the tv series “Victoria”, Pinterest

In 1845 the Queen and Prince Albert visited the Duke of Wellington at Strathfieldsaye. “The Duke,” writes Mr. Anson, the Prince's secretary, “takes the Queen in to dinner and sits by her Majesty, and after dinner gets up and says, ‘With your Majesty's permission, I give the health of her Majesty,’ and then the same for the Prince. They then adjourn to the library, and the Duke sits on the sofa by the Queen for the rest of the evening until 11 o’clock, the Prince and the gentlemen being scattered about in the library or the billiard room, which opens into it.”

Mr. Anson also writes that the Duke, under provocation from certain too curious impertinents, had put up a large notice in the grounds directing the people who wished to see the house to drive up to the hall door and ring the bell, but that they were to abstain from walking on the flag-stones and looking in at the windows. To an application from a newspaper for particulars of the Royal visit, the Duke replied: “F. M. the Duke of Wellington presents his compliments to Mr._________ and begs to say he does not see what his house at Strathfield Saye has to do with the public press.”

The Duke and the Queen seem always to have been on very affectionate terms, perhaps because he took her part in the controversy about the Prince’s position. “Let the Queen put the Prince where she likes,” he said, " and settle it herself; that is the best way.” An anecdote is told which shows that the Duke had not much respect for the traditions of Court etiquette when they conflicted with the dictates of common sense. The late Lord Albemarle, when Master of the Horse, was very sensitive about his right in that capacity to sit in the sovereign's carriage on state occasions. “The Queen,” said the Duke, when asked his opinion, “can make Lord Albemarle sit on top of the coach, under the coach, behind the coach, or wherever else her Majesty pleases.” – The New York Times, 1874

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Diplomat Broke Royal Court Etiquette

The real identity of Diplomat, “Multy Millions,” may never be known. His name is not mentioned in the article or the story– In 1867, a serious illness accentuated a hereditary deafness that Alexandra suffered from and also left her lame. In turn, she devoted much of her time, and also her income, to the poor and suffering. As Queen, Alexandra founded the Imperial Military Nursing Service in 1902 and started Alexandra Rose Day to raise funds for British hospitals.

Royal Court Etiquette:

“Multy Millions” Fractured It and Lost His Diplomatic Post

A witty New York society man said, at a dinner, apropos of court etiquette: “Court etiquette is, after all, very like ordinary etiquette-the laws of common sense govern it.

“Did you ever hear how Multy Millions lost his under secretaryship at our legation in London? Multy deserved his fate. His common sense was lamentably lacking.

“It happened years and years ago. King Edward had just come into his own, and Multy Millions was dining for the first time at Buckingham Palace.

“The dinner was a state one. The splendid gold plate from Windsor glittered on table and sideboard. To Multy, when the entremets came on, the deaf Queen Alexandra asked: ‘How long have you been living abroad, Mr. Millions?’

‘Four years, ma'am,’ Multy replied in a loud voice, for he knew enough, of course. to speak high and to say ‘ma'am.’

‘What? I did not hear,’ said Queen Alexandra. ‘Four years, ma'am,’ Multy shouted.

But she repeated, ‘What?’

“Then Multy leaned forward, and, with a polite and amiable smile, he waved four fingers to and fro before Queen Alexandra’s face. He resigned the next morning.” – The Exchange, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Dignity and Etiquette Melted

Rare photo of Queen Victoria dining with members of her family. The Queen was well-known for her terrible table manners. It was said she could easily put away nine courses in 30 minutes.

Queen Victoria’s Dignity Melted

Just about this time, and for a month or more longer, look out for anecdotes of Queen Victoria. There promises to be a large crop of them, and many are already being harvested. Some are quite true and authentic, while more are not, but it is never a good plan to spoil a readable story because of a little question of veracity. 

One of the most recent Victorian anecdotes is told by a correspondent of the Chicago Times-Herald, who declares that Victoria has ever been very exacting in the matter of Court etiquette. When she holds a reception she always insists upon the performance of every detail of custom. Persons who are fortunate enough to be invited to Court have, therefore, to drill themselves and rehearse their parts, for fear of offending the Queen by any little neglect of manners. Now and then, however Her Majesty unbends. 

On one occasion, in very hot weather, she was receiving a line of sweltering noblemen and ladies. Everybody was suffering from the heat. The Queen turned to an attendant suddenly and exclaimed: “My! Ain't it hot!” It is Court etiquette never to contradict royalty, and the lady addressed replied: “Yes, madam, you are!” On this occasion the Queen forgot both her manners and her grammar.– Placer Herald, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for the “Windsor Widows”

 

1887 Jubilee postcard featuring Queen Victoria — Any of her daughters who were widowed had to remain single while Victoria was still in mourning from losing Prince Albert — “... all the widows of the court will marry. It is not royal etiquette for them to take another husband while their royal mistress remains single, but the widows of the castle will become the merry wives of Windsor before the year of state mourning has passed.”

When Queen Victoria takes off her crown forever and lays aside her gold-headed cane for good, there will step into her shoes a woman who will endeavor to point all things in the same direction. But certain changes will be immediately made. For one thing, all the widows of the court will marry. It is not royal etiquette for them to take another husband while their royal mistress remains single, but the widows of the castle will become the merry wives of Windsor before the year of state mourning has passed. Victoria has never smiled upon second unions, and for that reason, her widowed daughters are all single, but that there will be a change in this custom, rumor loudly states.— Mrs. Grey-Canfield, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Queen Victoria’s Jubilee Bonnet

A color photo from the 1897 Jubilee of Queen Victoria. It’s a shame her bonnet was hidden under a parasol — “When the procession reached St Paul's, the frail Queen stayed in her carriage, where she was joined by the clergy.” —
photo DailyMail.com

The Queen’s Jubilee Bonnet

The Duchess of Bedford lately told a girls’ needlework society in Mile End that the bonnet which the Queen wore at the Jubilee service was practically made by the Princess of Wales. “It was sent home,” said Her Grace, “looking heavy and ugly. Nobody dared return it to the milliner without the Queen’s orders, and nobody liked to ask Her Majesty for such instructions. 

“So the Ladies in Waiting showed it to the Princess of Wales, knowing how clever she is in all such matters, and her Royal Highness with her own hands altered it and twisted it till it became the extremely becoming and tasteful head-dress which we all admired on that memorable occasion. Everybody who saw it thought that the Queen had never had a prettier bonnet, but how it came to be so pretty is news of today.”—London Tit-Bits, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Obeisance

Lord Carisbrooke – The “Marquess of Carisbrooke“ was a title created in 1917 for Prince Alexander of Battenberg, the eldest son of Princess Beatrice of the United Kingdom (the youngest daughter of Queen Victoria) and Prince Henry of Battenberg. He was also made Viscount Launceston, in the County of Cornwall, and Earl of Berkhamsted at the same time, all in the Peerage of the United Kingdom. At this time, along with other German-surnamed relations of the British Royal family, Alexander changed his surname to Mountbatten. Confused yet??? Sadly, all of these titles became extinct upon his death in 1960, as he had no sons.- Photo Public Domain

It was hard for Gotham Society to know the right amount of deference and respect to show when they were unknowingly dealing with a “Minor Royal”

Gotham Society– with a very large, capital S– is considerably exercised over the proper amount of obeisance due Lord Carisbrooke, its at present most distinguished guest. Because he is a grandson of Queen Victoria and brother of the Queen of Spain, his hosts and fellow guests started in by giving him regular court curtsies and presenting women to him as rapidly as all the rest of what they deemed his due. Then along came carping critic and laughted them to scorn. 

“He’s not a Prince of the Blood” he told them. ‘‘He must he getting a lot of fine laughs out of you. Etiquette doesn’t let you treat him any different from any other gentleman.” The most embarrassed person among the mis-steppers is one who is credited with ambitions to be made ambassador to the Court of St. James and now he’s given it away that he doesn’t even know court etiquette!– Press Democrat, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

The Etiquette of Serving Charles II

One of the most popular monarchs to play is Charles II, or “the Merry Monarch”
 (as portrayed by Rupert Everett, above)

Few courts have been more brilliant than that of the Merry Monarch. All the beauty of fair women, the gallantry of brave men, and the gaiety of well-approved wits could compass, perpetually surrounded His Majesty, making the royal palace a lordly pleasure house. Noble banquets, magnificent balls, and brilliant suppers followed each other in quick succession. Three times a week—on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays—the King and Queen dined publicly in ancient state, whilst rare music was discoursed, and many ceremonies observed, amongst these being that each servitor of the royal table should eat some bread dipped in sauce of the dish he bore. 

On these occasions meats for the King's table were brought from the kitchen by yeomen of the guard, or beef-eaters. These men, selected as being amongst the handsomest, strongest, and tallest in England, were dressed in liveries of red cloth, faced with black velvet, having the King's cipher on the back, and on the breast the emblems of the Houses of York and Lancaster. By them the dishes were handed to the gentlemen in waiting, who served royalty upon their knees. “You see,” said Charles one day to the Chevalier de Grammont, “how I am waited on.” “I thank your majesty for the explanation,” said the saucy Frenchman; “I thought they were begging pardon for offering you so bad a dinner.” [This mode of serving the sovereign continued unto the coming of George I.] – From Royalty Restored or London Under Charles II, by J. Fitzgerald Molloy, 1885

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

British Royal Birthday Etiquette

Ruler of Great Britain, King Edward VII, Attains Age of 68 and is Overwhelmed by Tenents and Employes With Tokens of Their Loyalty and Good Will

This being the 68th anniversary of the birth of King Edward, President Taft today sent him the following congratulatory telegram; “I warmly congratulate your Majesty on your happy completion of another year, and wish for you all health and happiness in long years to come.” 

London, Nov. 9—King Edward VII, is celebrating his 68 birthday privately at his residence at Sandringham, Norfolk, today. His birthday was officially celebrated on Coronation Day last June. The counties of Norfolk and Suffolk, which consider themselves part of the Royal domain, have closed their schools in honor of the event, salutes are being fired at garrison towns all over the empire, flags are flying everywhere and thousands of congratulatory telegrams from prominent men and women throughout the world have been delivered at Sandringham, where the King will remain today surrounded by his family and a few friends. Court etiquette forbids the presentation of gifts except from members of the Royal family, but tenants and employees of the King’s own estate are allowed to make kindly little offerings, and with these, Edward is fairly overwhelmed today. – Press Democrat, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Curtsey Lessons for Queen Times 5

Practicing their curtsies, per chance? The Dionne quintuplets were the most celebrated siblings of their day and were famous around the world. Postcards, dolls, silver spoons and more, all carried the images of the fab five girls; Yvonne, Marie, Emilie, Annette and Cecile.

                                                                                         

         The Quints Meet the Queen 

Sturdy stock, these Dionnes! With Washington society already a little breathless over the oncoming visit of the King and Queen of England, up in Callander, Ont., the Dionne quintuplets are taking it all in their stride. These celebrated sisters are also going to have a visit with England’s top royalty. This week they’ve gone into training for the event, learning to recite the proper salutation and to curtsey without falling backwards or tumbling head-on at Their Majestie’s feet. But this week, and for years, that meeting will be just one more event in their busy lives. Today, a bit of drilling on the niceties of court etiquette. Next Monday, a “how-do-you-do” to the King and Queen in person. Week after that, a birthday party when the sprightly five of a kind celebrate their fifth birthday. 

Next comes June, and with it the tourist parade sweeping into Callander and up to the Dionne play-yard. But come tourists, photographers, cameramen, writers or royalty, it’s all one to the quintuplets. Keeping their balance and, on the word of Dr. Dafoe, remaining normal, healthy youngsters. Yet it must be admitted these Dionnes do have an edge. These five smart girls have already amassed a tidy fortune well past the half million mark. By the time their eighth birthday comes round, it’s expected to be close to a full million dollars. With riches and fame in their own right, Canada’s five little queens needn’t worry too much about that curtsey. They’re going to get along! – Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1939

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Barbarous Etiquette?

Bertie was, according to Professor Jane Ridley, “the first English Prince to visit Jerusalem since Richard the Lionheart, but he got on much better with the Muslims than the Crusader did.” – 

Nearly 40 years prior to becoming King Edward VII, young Prince Albert, known as Bertie, was sent by Queen Victoria on a Royal tour of Egypt and the Holy Places of Palestine and Syria.This trip became the template for the British Royals and tours we know of today, not least because it was the first that the people could actually see as an official photographer, Francis Bedford, accompanied the Prince. While on the tour, in a move that even today’s Royal Princes might consider a step too far – Bertie got a tattoo on his forearm  – five crosses forming a Crusader’s Jerusalem cross.  

The order issued by the King of Great Britain for his first entry into Parliament includes a requirement that women participating shall wear dresses cut low. The affair will take place in the afternoon. The order must, therefore, shock the American flunkies, who maintain that a swallow-tail coat and a low-necked gown must never be worn before 6 o'clock, summer or winter. There are men and women who profoundly wish that neither a swallow-tail coat nor a low-necked dress should ever be worn, with an exception in favor of cutting out the dress bodice modestly for coolness in the heated term. The objection to the Royal and Imperial British order for low-necked dresses when the Emperor of India opens the houses of Parliament is, however, purely humane. 

Every woman who can will endeavor to be present on so exciting an occasion. The order is absolute as to exposure of the shoulders and bust to winter weather, whatever it may be that day. Pneumonia is as prevalent in London as in Chicago, perhaps more so. The doctors will have a profitable increase of business following the day the Emperor of India appears before Parliament. Nor should the new Monarch be hastily censured for this barbarous ritual. He has said that he will follow the steps of the late Monarch, who never relaxed or suspended this rule at her drawing rooms, always held by day, and always the cause of serious illness, with their full proportion of consequent deaths. This is one of the objects for which Monarchies are maintained — to thin out the population.— Chicago Chronicle, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia