Gilded Age “Mrs. Manners” on Dress

“Good taste is indispensable in dress, but that, united to neatness, is all that is necessary—that is the fabled Cestus of Venus which gave beauty to its wearer.”

Mrs. Manners, the highest authority we can possibly quote in such matters, has the following hints to girls, which we can not deny ourselves the pleasure of copying, though they may seem, in part, a repetition of remarks already made:

“Good taste is indispensable in dress, but that, united to neatness, is all that is necessary—that is the fabled Cestus of Venus which gave beauty to its wearer. Good taste involves suitable fabrics—a neat and becoming ‘fitting’ to her figure—colors suited to her complexion, and a simple and unaffected manner of wearing one's clothes. 

A worsted dress in a warm day, or a white one in a cold day, or a light, thin one in a windy day, are all in bad taste. Very fine or very delicate dresses worn in the street, or very highly ornamented clothes worn to church or to shop in, are in bad taste. Very long dresses worn in muddy or dusty weather, even if long dresses are the fashion, are still in bad taste.

“Deep and bright-colored gloves are always in bad taste; very few persons are careful enough in selecting gloves. Light shoes and dark dresses, white stockings and dark dresses, dark stockings and light dresses, are not indicative of good taste. A girl with neatly and properly dressed feet, with neat, well-fitting gloves, smoothly arranged hair, and a clean, well-made dress, who walks well, and speaks well, and, above all, acts politely and kindly, is a lady, and no wealth is required here. 

Fine clothes and fine airs are abashed before such propriety and good taste. Thus the poorest may be so attired as to appear as lady-like as the wealthiest; nothing is more vulgar than the idea that money makes a lady, or that fine clothes can do it.” – From the book “How To Behave,” by Samuel R Wells, 1887

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Riches Give No Social Guarantee

Not everyone can be hypnotized to see what isn’t there, and there are many things that one cannot purchase. True friendship, social acceptance, and admiration from others are just a few of these things that money cannot buy and that a vulgar amount of money can actually dissuade.   

Vulgar Displays of Riches

There is a great deal said by Americans about the corruption of society by wealth. Vulgar display of riches is seen often enough, but this does not find an entrance into the best society.

Americans without sufficient cause malign their own institutions more than they know. While plutocracy is an evil felt in many directions, the fact remains that it is a thing apart from the people, receiving no honors in its own right and given distrust and dislike as its natural portion. 

The rich who stand as leaders in society are also leaders in public movements of a beneficent character. In matters relating to education, in charitable movements and in the advancement of literature and art, they are prominent. 

Riding to hounds and the possession of racing stables are not their chief pleasures. Pheasant culture, and the periodical shooting of the birds so cultivated, do not occupy their time. Their recreations are of a more intellectual sort.

Anglomania and the snobbery that it implies are to be found in certain circles in America, but they are recognized as an unhealthy growth and are received by the public with a humorous indulgence which is very far away from genuine admiration. — “America,” 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia