Post WWI Manners Deplorable

The lack of good manners in all classes is to be deplored. It has been thought of sufficient importance for an agitation to be started in one city to teach manners in the public schools…

Good Manners:

World Not Yet Recovered Yet From Great War

A 2nd Debut Article from 2018

“I THINK there is so much hypocrisy in good manners,” said a woman whom I know very well, the other day. “You mean,” I quickly retorted, “hypocrisy may be found in fine manners?”

She tossed her head defiantly, declaring: “That is a distinction, not a difference.”

I persisted in my defense. “You know quite well” said I. “that good manners mean sincere regard for others, self-discipline and service. Fine manners may mean being merely polite and well-bred in behavior.”

The lack of good manners in all classes is to be deplored. It has been thought of sufficient importance for an agitation to be started in one city to teach manners in the public schools.

This slump in conventional dignity, this letting down of social bars, is the recognized aftermath of war. Those who can recall the effect of the Civil War upon must shudder at the memory.  Today the frenzy of the World War is past, but the world has not yet recovered its poise.

Let us, however, take notice of the stupendous development of real unselfishness in our own people- the practical unselfishness which has made America the hope of famishing European babies and mothers. What has this to do with the question of manners? Everything!

Selfishness is the supreme foe of good manners. And in this real solicitude for suffering humanity, there may be found hope for the redemption of American manners which, at their best, are agreeable and likely to win favor, in any official or private gathering.

There is no need to worry over the lost manners of some of our men, for the loss is only temporary. Many of us women, however, will acquire better manners when we learn how to conquer our nerves and conserve our nervous energies. For, in spite of beauty, cleverness and good taste, some women lack the exquisite charm of repose.

Many young women in fashionable social life, as well as some actresses, are incapable of seating themselves gracefully. They will crouch, they will flop, they will stand in front of a chair and fidget before dropping into it. can't keep still. 

The average American woman can’t — keep still. This is the chief blemish of American manners, and just as soon as we women are convinced of this fact we will conquer our nerves and acquire poise.

Let us teach our children manners for home use as a beginning. and, before we know it, there will be no reason left to complain of American manners. “Manners are the happy ways of doing things,” wrote Emerson. — By Clara Morris, Los Angeles Herald, 1921

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Understanding Real Etiquette

Remember... Real etiquette is in acting with polite consideration for others, not acting like trained monkey.

More from the 1920’s Etiquette Book Craze

Being polite becomes more difficult. Social blunders lurk on every side. One of the many books on etiquette, which are raining heavily on the public, says it is a serious “boner” for a man, dining in a restaurant, to pick a fallen fork from the floor, that function “properly” belonging to the waiter. It is also set forth, that dipping both hands in a finger bowl simultaneously, instead of one at a time, is blunder in the first degree. Real etiquette is in acting with polite consideration for others, not like trained monkey. — Livermore Journal, 1925

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A “What’s Wrong” School of Etiquette

In the decade from 1920 to 1930, about a dozen books of etiquette were published and promoted, including those by Lillian Eichler, Emily Holt and Emily Post. One columnist thought etiquette’s popularity had waned by 1925, however, the 1920’s - 1930’s “Etiquette Era” was just taking a brief break, and would continue for over 10 more years. —Thousands and hundreds of thousands of assorted Americans are worrying over what is wrong with “this picture” and perspiring freely over the choice of forks at a banquet, or words at an introduction.

Frenzied Etiquette 

The latest great non-essential industry to occupy the attention of the American people appears to be a nation-wide concern for the manufacture, sale and use of a more strict etiquette. Led sheep-wise, by a publicity campaign comparable only to the merchandising effort that put Harold Bell Wright on the literary map of the universe, thousands and hundreds of thousands of assorted Americans are worrying over what is wrong with “this picture,” and perspiring freely over the choice of forks at a banquet, or words at an introduction. Like marathon dancing, this activity affords a somewhat painful picture to the observer, but brings with it the comforting thought that so much fruitless enthusiasm will soon burn itself out and be over with. 

The most painful aspect of the craze is the general tone of snobbishness and the laudation of ridicule and embarrassment as a means of teaching “good manners.” Knowledge of etiquette is, of course, nothing to become snobbish about, and the most casual thought will reveal the inadequacy of embarrassment as a preceptor. What the campaign would amount to if it amounted to anything, would be to make the American people a nation of self-conscious dummies, painfully eager to do the “right thing,” horribly fearful of doing the opposite, continually uncomfortable, gauche and ridiculous. There are as many don’ts in the average encyclopedia of cheap etiquette as there are symptoms in a patent medicine almanac. As the symptoms aim to catalogue every possible reaction of the reader’s sensory apparatus, so the admonitions of the etiquette books aim to interpose in every possible situation of daily conduct. 

The aim of the medicine man’s almanac was to make the reader acutely uncomfortable till he “falls for” the medicine man’s product and the aim of the etiquette books is the same. There’s no cause for alarm, of course, in the sudden rise of the “What’s Wrong” school of literature, because the craze for it is happily only a craze, and therefore impermanent. Its effects probably won’t endure long enough to stamp our national subconscious —we’re talking nonsense now —with an inferiority complex. We’ll get over it all right, but like the baby-talk stage of the flapper’s progress, it’s uncomfortable while it lasts. — San Diego Union, 1923

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Instill Manners Early at Home

Children usually do not intend to be rude, but the very novelty of a situation sometimes embarrasses and so surprises them that they do not know what to do. Consequently “acting smart” is their refuge, and too often it appears at the table. A little home practice would save all this humiliation for both mother and child.

“Making Manners”

“Mary, Betty has such nice manners. I wish my children would behave like her when we go out to dine!” How often we hear a mother comment thus on some little girl who is “conspicuous” for her ladylike ways. Indeed, manners are to be valued as much in children as in grown people. These very little ones are later to be the grown people, and if their manners are to become a part of their everyday life, these graces and little courtesies must be encouraged to grow up with them, so they will reach perfection in later years. 

I have in mind a mother who has made a special point of good manners in bringing up her six-year-old daughter. This does not mean that she wants the little one to have an affected society suavity, but that she wants her to reflect the charm and refinement of the household. The mother demands company manners every day in the week. She serves the dinner each night in the dining room rather than amid the informality of the breakfast room or kitchen nook, although she does her own work and it means extra household tasks. 

This may seem a trivial step in manner making, but children respond more quickly to example and surroundings than they do to preaching and instructions. Dinner in the dining room, in this case, means that extra pains are taken to have the meal pleasant and attractive, and everyone is expected to help maintain this atmosphere. The mother may still wear her house dress, but it is sure to be spick and span and the little six-year-old is dressed late in the afternoon after her nap, ready for the evening meal. Her manners are practiced with the rest of the family, and she learns that politeness is not to be put on when going out to dine or having company, but is to be worn on all occasions.

Children usually do not intend to be rude, but the very novelty of a situation sometimes embarrasses and so surprises them that they do not know what to do. Consequently “acting smart” is their refuge, and too often it appears at the table. A little home practice would save all this humiliation for both mother and child. Eating in the dining room is just one means of teaching children that certain conventions help to make things pleasantly and that good breeding makes people welcome. As mothers train their children, so will they reflect that training as they go out into the world, and when they meet praise because of their conduct and manners, they will be grateful to her for the trouble she has taken. —Mill Valley Record, 1926

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Poor American Manners Post WWI

In spite of beauty, cleverness and good taste, some women lack the exquisite charm of repose. Many young women in fashionable social life, as well as some actresses, are incapable of seating themselves gracefully. They will crouch, they will flop, they will stand in front of a chair and fidget before dropping into it. The average American woman can’t keep still. This is the chief blemish of American manners, and just as soon as we women are convinced of this fact, we will conquer our nerves and acquire poise.

On Good Manners — World Not Yet 

Recovered from Great War?

“I think there is so much hypocrisy in good manners,” said a woman whom I know very well, the other day. “You mean,” I quickly retorted, “hypocrisy may be found in fine manners?” She tossed her head defiantly, declaring: “That is a distinction, not a difference.” I persisted in my defense. “You know quite well,” said I, “that good manners mean sincere regard for others, self-discipline and service. Fine manners may mean being merely polite and well-bred in behavior.” 

The lack of good manners in all classes is to be deplored. It has been thought of sufficient importance for an agitation to be started in one city, to teach manners in the public schools. This slump in conventional dignity, this letting down of social bars, is the recognized aftermath of war. Those who can recall the effect of the Civil War upon manners must shudder at the memory. Today the frenzy of the World War is past, but the world has not yet recovered its poise. Let us, however, take notice of the stupendous development of real unselfishness in our own people—the practical unselfishness which has made America the hope of famishing European babies and mothers.

What has this to do with the question of manners? Everything! Selfishness is the supreme foe of good manners. And in this real solicitude for suffering humanity, there may he found hope for the redemption of American manners which, at their best, are agreeable and likely to win favor in any official or private gathering. There is no need to worry over the lost manners of some of our men, for the loss is only temporary. Many of us women, however, will acquire better manners when we learn how to conquer our nerves and conserve our nervous energies. 

For, in spite of beauty, cleverness and good taste, some women lack the exquisite charm of repose. Many young women in fashionable social life, as well as some actresses, are incapable of seating themselves gracefully. They will crouch, they will flop, they will stand in front of a chair and fidget before dropping into it. The average American woman can’t keep still. This is the chief blemish of American manners, and just as soon as we women are convinced of this fact, we will conquer our nerves and acquire poise. Let us teach our children manners for home use as a beginning, and, before we know it, there will be no reason left to complain of American manners. “Manners are the happy ways of doing things,” wrote Emerson.— By Clara Morris, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia