Etiquette, Diplomacy and a Tap on the Head

Jean-Claude Juncker - "I’m a hands-on kind of president…" voted against him.

Did EC president Juncker break protocol by tapping Muscat’s head?

He is the President of the European Commission so he will touch your head if he wants to...

When does a friendly head-tap go just too far? Maltese prime minister Joseph Muscat doesn’t seem to mind: at least he takes Jean Claude Juncker’s patronising tap on his forehead – being of dimensions, ample – like a good sport. Chin up. Get on with it. The Luxembourgish fool has probably had the cognac added in his omelette this morning.

What do you think? Do you think that Juncker, the former prime minister who resigned over his country’s secret service’s illegal wiretapping, is ‘avin a laff’? Perhaps putting the whippersnapper in place? Or is he being simply nice – you can hear him greet Muscat as ‘young man’ after all, which he is in the world of European politics, and then proceeding to tap his head as one would…

There is a precedent to the Muscat head-tap: Juncker’s fascination with the depilated cranium was in full view when he startled a studious-looking Silvio Berlusconi by giving him a couple of Benny Hill head-taps.

We asked an expert in diplomatic protocol, and a former career diplomat, Kris Bonnici, to tell us what he thinks of Juncker’s pate-pat and whether Monsieur le President was being a little bit too osé or perhaps showing us who's boss at the Berlaymont.

“Is head-tapping allowed according to protocol and etiquette in the first place? Recent research shows that non verbal communication is four times as powerful as words. That’s because our brain is still programmed to think like that of our prehistoric ancestors. When we encounter someone new, whether in a sophisticated office or a glamorous reception, if it is initially upsetting, it will trigger our flight or fight response.”

Bonnici says protocol, now dating thousands of years since the court of Pharoah Amenhotep III, has not always been followed. “When Rollo the Viking was given Normandy he was required to pledge allegiance to Charles, King of France, in a ceremony where Rollo kisses the king’s foot in a symbolic gesture of feudal allegiance.

“Instead, Rollo sent one of his warriors to do the honours, who lifted the king’s foot so high that the king fell to the ground. The non verbal gesture here can be interpreted easily: the Vikings were barbaric, the French were weak.”

But Bonnici is adamant that the prime-ministerial noggin is out of bounds from unwanted fingering, and that means that Juncker’s caress was unwelcome – especially in full view of the TV cameras.

“Regardless of what message Jean-Claude Juncker wanted to convey, or whatever crossed his mind, Prime Ministers cannot be tapped on the head. “Such a breach of protocol is not in the European Commission’s interest (which has used great tact to reach consensus in the past), nor that of an EU member state’s,” Bonnici says, who adds that other countries have great respect for Europe’s protocol and etiquette.

“It’s at the basis of the soft power it is cashing upon: relations with other governments, businesses especially Europe’s fashion industry, arts, cuisine, and luxury car exports, and also the perception of Europeans in general. So please, no head-tapping.”

Kris Bonnici: Making a good impression is important. "An article on Forbes listed seven non-verbal ways to strike a first impression in the first seven seconds of an encounter. I thought it was worth noting and explaining them."

1. Attitude adjustment: You have to settle in a positive state of mind and feeling.
2. Poise your posture: Watch a film and see how a proud (not arrogant) person carries himself. Head straight, shoulders back, standing tall, it is a given that this person conveys competence and confidence.
3. Smile: Perhaps the most powerful element in establishing a friendship. Employ it and like everything else, do so genuinely.
4. Eye contact: people who are interested in you will look you in the eye. It is a sign of honesty and openness. Make it a point to remember the eye colour of the people you meet. It will also help you remember their names.
5. ‘Eyebrow flash’: raise your eyebrows to acknowledge the other person. This gesture cuts across culture as a symbol of recognition.
6. Shake hands properly: because studies show it is the equivalent of three hours interaction, which you can achieve in a heartbeat. And time is money.
7. Lean forward: even if only slightly it will show that you are interested and engaged. Just remember not to trespass the other person’s personal space.

This article was written by Matthew Vella, 14 September 2014, for Malta Today

Submitted by contributor Kristian Bonnici- Before founding Diplomatic Envoy Consultancy, Kris was a career diplomat. He worked in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Malta, in the Protocol and Consular Services Department, and then spent tours of duty in Europe, Asia, Africa and Australia. Serving as Deputy Head of Mission at the Embassy in Cairo and Canberra, his diplomatic duties included protocol and etiquette and public diplomacy. Kris speaks English, Italian and Maltese fluently, and has a fair knowledge of French, Arabic and Russian. 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Public Relations and Public Diplomacy

Public Relations and Public Diplomacy: 

Two Sides of the Same Coin?

The Roman legionary: "adaptable at any place, at any time, for any purpose." ~ Polybius, Ancient Greek Historian. Above~ Depiction of Hadrian's Wall, built by the Romans between 122-128 A.D. across northern England to stop attacks by Pictish tribes from Scotland. Inside the Wall, Roman legionaries prepare to march out against the attackers, their commander on his horse at their head.

Not only are there many similarities between Public Relations (PR) and Public Diplomacy (PD), were it not for one major element, they might be thought identical. Scholars have argued that issues of power have been neglected in PR. This is true, however, it may not illustrate the complete picture. 

The main difference is perhaps the cohesion of PD, and the power it can achieve thanks to this.  No wonder the Ancient Romans divided their legions into cohorts, for through cohesion, the Roman legionary ‘was adaptable at any place, at any time, for any purpose,’ according to the Ancient Greek historian, Polybius.

Similarities

There are many similarities in PR and PD. Both of their practitioners strive for reputation building, relationship management, dialogue, transparency, trust, engagement, and conflict resolution. They also work to establish themselves as the Alpha and Omega for their publics and stakeholders, and to out manoeuvre all other communication sources. They do this through a systematic and strategic information campaign, where war sounds better when framed as defence, where sensitive corporate/state social responsibility is employed, as are lobbying and negotiation.

Sir Henry Wotton~ English author, diplomat and politician who sat in the house of Commons in 1614 and 1625. Wotton, when on a mission in Ausburg in 1604 famously used the oft quoted line, "An ambassador is an honest gentleman sent to lie abroad for the good of his country."

A coin to buy the way to hell?

PR is sometimes perceived or associated with propaganda which always resuscitates the spectres of regimes like Nazism and Communism. The term PD was coined in 1856 in ‘The Times’ newspaper as a synonym for civility. Edmund Gullion re-introduced the word in 1965 as an alternative to propaganda and PR, which carried negative connotations. However, PD like PR, became associated with spin.  

It seems that the phrase, "An ambassador is an honest gentleman sent to lie abroad for the good of his country," written as a joke in Henry Wotton's journal, when on a diplomatic mission in 1604, cannot be deleted completely from public perception. This is because PR and PD are distorted in dictatorial regimes. But no one can deny that they are a pillar of democracy.

"Short Instruction on Adhering to the Accepted Bourgeois Society Etiquette Rules" ~ A Russian diplomat in uniform, presenting his letters of credence, 2008...  After the Russian revolution, a document entitled "Short Instruction on Adhering to the Accepted Bourgeois Society Etiquette Rules" by the People's Commissariat for Foreign Affairs instructed revolutionary diplomats to wear jackets on formal occasions. From 1923 to 1924, Moscow newspapers debated whether the wearing of civilian Western dress and thereby "bour­geois society symbols, which are totally alien to the spirit of the Workers' and Peasants' State" was appropriate, and there were calls for a Soviet diplomatic uniform to be introduced.

What is the main difference between the two?

PD is the domain of the diplomat, who represents a state and is a jack of all trades, proficient in international relations, economics, law, history, culture, writing, languages, hi-tech and etiquette. A diplomat’s duties are to communicate, negotiate, cajole, protect and analyse.  PD is employed to reach the many strategic objectives of the state, ranging from a treaty, to a memorandum of understanding, war reparations to development aid. PD also aids in cultural exchanges, music festivals and sporting tournaments. The most tangible examples in sport are the World Cup or the Olympic Games, which countries have used to build or enhance their reputations ever since their inceptions. Like bears to honey, the privileged status of PD attracts the media.

PR is fast accruing prominence, especially as the PR practitioner is increasingly dealing with international issues that have a great impact on our lives.  Distinctions between PR, marketing and advertisement are at the end of the day perfunctory. When I participated in the World PR Forum in Melbourne last November, Richard Edelman seemed to be clear about this. He also added that PR does not have a monopoly on its creations, citing the example of employee engagement, which has been successfully ‘borrowed’ by the advertising industry. PR has to go all the way to achieve the same elite status of PD. Cohesion of all the elements that make up the discipline, and more if necessary, must be achieved.

Propaganda is geared to appeal to the public's emotion, not the public's intellect ~ Above, an 1805 French propaganda painting of Napoleon crossing the Alps

PR fits in International Relations Theory

Realist PR

The dominant international relations (IR) theories are Realism and Liberalism. Realism is a paradigm based on the struggle of all against all, obtaining power in an anarchic system, where everyone pursues his or her interests in a selfish way. Realist PR and PD practitioners give the Environment, Political, Informatic, Social, Technological, Economic and Legal, or EPISTEL, analysis priority. The organisation has no permanent friends, no permanent enemies, only permanent interests. The pursuit of power to survive in a hostile environment is what matters. Extreme PR and PD proponents of Realism are Machiavellians who apply The Art of War of Sun Tsu on every occasion to achieve their goals.

Liberalist PR

The Liberalist paradigm is the hope that reason, ethics, and co-operation can lead to an organised system where misconduct and war can be policed by laws and international enforcement. PR and PD Liberalists value reputation, relationship building, corporate social responsibility, transparency, ethics and trust. Extreme Liberalists in PR and PD are the idealists who believe in world government and peace.

NGO PR

Though not a theory as such, I think that it is essential to mention non-governmental organization PR, or NGO PR, which voices those who are not heard and issues yet unknown, or ignored. This is usually what PR and PD practitioners on the other side have to deal with.

Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Conclusion

A coin has two sides. Sometimes a coin is flipped to determine which party has the final decision or victory. Heads, being heavier than tails, has the traditional advantage. Yet, PR has what it takes to become the heavier side. Once cohesion is achieved, PR can move into the realm of power and become the side of the coin to place one’s faith in.

The above is an opinion piece contributed by Kristian Bonnici

Contributor Kristian Bonnici holds an M.A. in Diplomatic Studies. He speaks English, Italian and Maltese fluently, and has a knowledge of French, Arabic and Russian. He is currently the Founder and Chief Executive of Diplomatic Envoy Consultancy, www.diplomaticenvoy.com.au. He is also a member of the Public Relations Institute of Australia, Toastmasters International, and Rotary International.

The "Father of Diplomacy"

… and Diplomatic Etiquette

Amenhotep III, "The Father of Diplomacy": 
Diplomacy is defined as "the conduct of the relations of one state with another by peaceful means. Skill in the management of international relations. Tact, skill, or cunning in dealing with people." With the earliest known diplomatic records are the Amarna Letters written between the pharaohs of the 18th dynasty of Egypt and the Amurru rulers of Canaan during the 14th century B.C.', Egypt's Golden Empire.

The "Amarna Letters" (or tablets) are clay tablet-form letters of the pharaohs Amenhotep III and Akhenaten, with some letters from Tutankhamen's reign. The correspondents were mostly Great Kings of Syria-Palestine, as well as Egyptian vassals, but letters also came from the Egyptian rulers.  The Amarna correspondence is a set of mostly diplomatic letters, on topics like exchanges of gifts, disputes, requests for resources, and marriage.  From internal evidence, the earliest possible date for this correspondence is the final decade of the reign of Amenhotep III, who ruled from 1388 to 1351 BC (or 1391 to 1353 BC), possibly as early as this king's 30th regnal year; the latest date any of these letters were written is the desertion of the city of Amarna, commonly believed to have happened in the second year of the reign of Tutankhamun later in the same century in 1332 BC.

Amenhotep III - The Father of Diplomacy 
The father of diplomacy has been well established as Amenhotep III, who reigned from 1391–1353 B.C., after going as historically deep as possible to find a person who successfully used diplomacy to reach his or her country's foreign policy objectives. The oldest detailed records found were the "Amarna Letters."  From this diplomatic correspondence one finds a diplomat that towers above all others in the ancient world.

After thoroughly studying the content of the Amarna letters, it is clear that Amenhotep III possessed all the seven virtues that Sir Harold Nicolson, English diplomat (Nicolson 1939) attributes to the ideal diplomat.  Nicolson underscores that an ideal diplomatist should be truthful, accurate, calm, patient, good tempered, modest and loyal. With the exception of modesty (Amenhotep III referred to himself as the Dazzling Sun disk), this pharaoh proved to have all these qualities. However, a lack of modesty was expected from a pharaoh, who was considered Horus reborn, a living god. But ultimately Amenhotep III was courteous in his dealings with the other rulers. Various sources portray Amenhotep as intelligent, knowledgeable, discerning, prudent, hospitable, charming, industrious, courageous and even tactful. The latter are the other attributes Nicolson takes for granted in an ideal diplomatist. Nicole Douek, University College, London says about Amenhotep III ‘Ranking him, he was a very intelligent man. He obviously used his position extremely carefully, so although there is great respect for the other kings of the time, he is always one cut above everybody else.’’

Amenhotep III's time, and why and how he used diplomacy —

Diplomacy is a complex and often challenging practice of fostering relationships around the world in order to resolve issues and advance interests.

For centuries, Egypt was unrivaled. But in Amenhotep's III reign Babylonia, Assyria, and Mitani were strong enough to challenge Egypt. United, they could shatter Amenhotep's empire. Egypt was the wealthiest country on earth and had huge quantities of gold, which the pharaoh's neighbours coveted. Amenhotep quenched the gold lust of his neighbours wisely. He gave them gold but always left them wanting. In exchange of gold Amenhotep III asked for foreign princesses. The strategy was a success. The kings of the Near East were engaged in a diplomatic dialogue not warfare.  Thus marriages were an instrumental part in Amenhotep III's foreign policy, whereby thanks to them he cemented alliances with foreign powers and at the same time maintained – indeed augmented – his position as the premier ruler in the ancient Near East. 

Foreign princesses were accompanied by lavish exchanges of gifts of raw and manufactured goods – precious metals, horses, lapis lazuli, furniture, and cosmetic equipment – on both sides. Amenhotep III married many foreign princesses, but no Egyptian woman of royal blood was married to a foreign king, lest her would be husband would claim the right to be pharaoh after Amenhotep III's death.  Also from the many children from Amenhotep III's marriages, it was the offspring by the Great Egyptian wife Tiye that counted in the succession.

After analyzing Amarna letter 33, it is clear as W.M. Flinders Petries points out that International law was respected. In this letter the King of Alashia informed Amenhotep III that an Alashian died in Egypt, leaving son and wife at home and requested for the return of deceased's property by messenger. (Syria and Egypt From the Tell El Amarna Letters by W.M. Flinders Petrie, Ares Publishers, Chicago.) Like an Ambassador or Consul intervenes to protect the rights of his or her citizens today, it was possible to do the same in Amenhotep III's court. Foreigners felt safe dealing with Egypt because of the supremacy of the rule of law, which Amenhotep III was the ultimate guarantor.

On Diplomacy - “The proverb, 'The beginning is half the battle,' applies in a multitude of ways. In the first instant of a greeting between two people, the ground upon which they meet should be indicated. Cordiality, reserve, distrust, confidence, caution, condescension, deference—whatever the real or the assumed attitude may be, should be shown unmistakably when eyes meet and heads bend in the ceremony of greeting. To put into this initial manner the essence of the manner which one chooses to maintain throughout is one of the fine touches of diplomacy. People fail to do this when their effusively gracious condescension subsequently develops into snobbishness, or when an austere stiffness of demeanor belies the friendliness which they really intend to manifest. The latter fault is often due to diffidence or awkward self-consciousness; the former is usually traceable to the caprice of an undisciplined nature, and is a significant mark of ill-breeding." From Agnes H. Morton's book “Etiquette."

Protocol existed as well. We know that rites were witnessed by foreign potentates or their ambassadors, pictured in the reliefs and identified as the ‘‘chiefs of every distant land who had not known Egypt.'' On one of these occasions the king of Babylon registered a complaint, by letter, regarding the absence of proper protocol where his emissaries and their chariots were concerned. Amenhotep freely admitted the truth of the accusations, (according to Harold Nicolson an ideal diplomat should), but castigated the Babylonian messengers: ‘‘On one occasion your messengers went to your father and their mouths spoke hatred; (now) a second time they go and speak hatred to you.'' In consequence, Amenhotep concludes, he has decided not to give them anything in the future, for, no matter what he does for them, they will misrepresent his intentions.

Amenhotep III was such an accomplished and visionary diplomat that he was also the first ruler to make use of Public Diplomacy. Amenhotep III ‘‘had published at intervals series of large scarabs on which were inscribed a brief record of the particular event in question. Score, perhaps hundreds, of each issue were turned out, and distributed throughout the provinces and foreign rulers. In this way did the king publicize, the public works and acts of his reign.'' Professor John Ray, Cambridge University, argues ‘Amenhotep calls himself the King of Kings, and the King of Kings is what he must have seemed to the rulers who shared his world.'

 “E- Diplomacy: Foreign policy in 140 characters. The diplomatic world is considered to be one of protocol and discretion, yet an increasing number of foreign policy officials and diplomats are conducting their business in the most public way possible, on Twitter. With its 140-character limit, Twitter hardly lends itself to diplomatic nuance. But its abbreviated form, in harness with its hashtag hieroglyphics, can also make it powerfully direct.
“The popular social media site is just one of the online tools that governments are increasingly using to extend their spheres of internet influence. The web can help deliver consular advice, explain policy, and reach and engage with new audiences. It can also be used to issue admonishments and warnings and, on occasions, help solve problems.” Nick Bryant, BBC News

As a result of the diplomacy Amenhotep III employed ‘the Egypt he ruled never had been, nor would be again, in such a position of absolute power in the world.’  Professor David O'Connor, New York University says ‘International diplomacy in the days of the Amenhotep letters would be very familiar to diplomats today.  It was really very much like diplomatic interaction between countries even in our own time.’

Why do diplomats give each other gifts? At the U.S. Department of State , diplomatic gifts come in all shapes and sizes from woven straw baskets to precious gems. In ancient civilizations on every continent, dignitaries and leaders exchanged gifts to welcome, honor and cultivate beneficial diplomatic relationships. Many of the gifts shown here (and in the U.S. Diplomacy Center’s collection) embody symbols of esteem and welcome for our Secretaries of State while traveling abroad or receiving visitors. Gift exchanges take place in the ceremonial climate of toasts, banquets, speeches and formal greetings.
A gift of state often captures the essence of a nation, chosen for its ability to exhibit pride in a unique culture and people. Gifts of state may showcase traditions of fine or folk arts, crafts or craftsmanship. They may display wealth in precious stones or metals, fine textiles and apparel. Gifts may draw from a rich heritage of antiques and antiquities or an expressive storehouse of cultural icons. This way the gift becomes more than a mere formality, but a reminder of the special alliance between the gift giver and receiver.

Amenhotep III's diplomacy and the peace that resulted brought about an unprecedented thing – cultural understanding, which benefited everyone, especially Egypt. ‘Peace had also changed the Egyptians' attitude towards their foreign neighbors, who were no longer primarily seen as the hostile forces of chaos surrounding Egypt, the ordered world created at the beginning of time. Amenhotep's court had become a diplomatic centre of international importance, and friendly contact with Egypt's neighbors had led to an atmosphere of openness towards foreign cultures. During the earlier part of the dynasty, immigrants had introduced their native gods into Egypt and some of these deities had become associated with the Egyptian king, . . . but now foreign peoples were themselves seen as part of god's creation, protected and sustained by the benevolent rule of the sun-god Ra and his earthly representative, the pharaoh.' 

‘Under Amenhotep III there were no military campaigns in Western Asia. The ‘‘Dazzling Sun Disk of all Lands'' was in fact a master diplomat. The general picture that emerges is of a balance of power carefully maintained by all parties, all of whom profited by the peace secured by mutual alliances and supported by a flourishing exchange of goods.' (O Connor David; Cline Eric. eds., 1998).

‘At no period, therefore, can we place the power of Egypt higher than it was under Amenhotep III, lord of the two great cradles of civilization, the narrow valley of the Nile, and the plains and highlands of Mesopotamia.' (Syria and Egypt From the Tell El Amarna Letters by W.M. Flinders Petrie, Ares Publishers, Chicago.)
 
Hence Amenhotep III is the father of diplomacy conducting relations with other states by peaceful means. He was skilled in the management of international relations and tactful in dealing with diplomats. International law was respected as was protocol. Public diplomacy was employed for the first time in recorded history and most important of all the region reaped the abundant fruits from this person's approach to international relations, which brought peace and prosperity. Originally published in Daily News Egypt, 03 - 08 - 2010, written by Kristian Bonnici 

Contributor Kristian Bonnici holds an M.A. in Diplomatic Studies. He speaks English, Italian and Maltese fluently, and has a knowledge of French, Arabic and Russian. He is currently the Founder and Chief Executive of Diplomatic Envoy Consultancy, www.diplomaticenvoy.com.au. He is also a member of the Public Relations Institute of Australia, Toastmasters International, and Rotary International.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia