Concert Etiquette

Good concert etiquette helps an audience have a wonderful musical experience and enables the musicians perform to the best of their ability.

Artists from all over the world have always considered Argentine audiences to be the most appreciative, warm, knowleadgeable, thankful and enthusiastic in their response to a remarkable performance.

Alas, another adjective may soon be added to the list. “Noisy” may be a gallant way to describe it.

Money has changed hands, patrons with little experience fill the halls, younger generations have invaded the auditoriums (that’s good if they are duly prepared) and a new set of jet-setters and upper executives seeking fame as patrons and pictures in glossy magazines have taken over. Unfortunately, they are yet unaware that there is a set of rules to be respected and have thus altered the religious atmosphere that used to prevail in olden times.

Welcome, newcomers. Here is a list of some of the obligations you may find useful in trying to blend with veterans.

Theatres were built in order for people to listen. Additions to the sounds emanating from the stage are not welcome.

Enemy Number One: The mobile phone. It should be left at home, set in vibration mode or entrusted to the ladies in the wardrobe section. A thorough investigation has determined that calls usually deal with the childrens’ homework or the status of the roastbeef in the oven. Never a “Transfuse immediately,” “Administer Alphabetazone in the carotide” or “Call the fire brigade urgently.”

What all the messages have in common is a disruption of all the neighbours’ attention and enjoyment of whatever they are hearing.

I remember a performance by the exceptional Yo-Yo Ma. He was playing Dvorak’s cello concerto. Just before the concluding cadenza the orchestra stops at an ominuous chord, and after a silence loaded with suspense and anticipation the soloist begins his meditation of all that has been going on. Then the orchestra renews its attack and the first movement ends.

Nightmares of cell phones ringing?

This was years ago, but I am sure Maestro Ma still wakes up screaming remembering the silly beeps (in a wrong key) that intruded in the wonderful silence and totally destroyed what is one of the great moments in music. 

There are counterexamples, though. In the middle of an opera a man from Galería (one of the higher and cheaper locations at the theatre) shouted “Please, a doctor!” The lady next to me reacted compassionately with a loud “Shhhh!” I grabbed my chance asking “What if it were your son?”

Silence reigned once more and the performance continued. I can only hope that the ailing spectator in Galería found a good doctor. And that the lady was duly punished by whoever is in charge of torture. 

Also at the Colón, when James King was declaring his passionate love for Sieglinde in Walküre, some (quite loud) backstage noises preparing the explosive arrival of spring so upset Jeannine Altmeyer that she lost it, left a kneeling Sigmund about to embrace a reluctant lover, and ran out of the stage screaming “Non si può cantare con questo rumore tremendo!”

After some minutes, which I suppose were spent making Altmeyer drink a heavy-duty sedative, the performance was eventually resumed  and ended in triumph.  Am sure we all celebrated that Siglinde was doomed to endure a painful pregnancy next to a ferocious dragon.

I later asked Maestro King what he thought of the fiasco and he answered “No comment.” But added “In the US we say ‘The show must go on’.” 

On another occasion, I was in Bayreuth watching an exceptional performance of Walküre. In my most adored part, when Brünnhilde tells Siglinde she is pregnant, the mother-to-be utters one of Wagner’s most magnificent phrases. Just then, a neighbour of mine’s mobile phone required his attention. The criminal stood up, searched vainly for the weapon, and gave up, thus ruining beyond recovery our involvement with the drama.

The next week, I asked my friends at the press office what they did about mobile phones. 

“Walküre July 22, row 22, seat 12?  He is forever banned from Bayreuth.” A lesson to be learned.

Enemy Number Two: Coughing. Why here? Would you cough as well and as loud if you were being proposed to?

Are you medicated? Is it possible that a huge delegation from a lung hospital coincides at the same theatre? Or that an army of aliens are communicating in their weird language? Have you noticed that an artist never coughs or sneezes (or answers his mobile) while performing?

I shall not elaborate on this subject, because an understandably irate Keith Jarrett has spoken for us all, but still… I have seen great pianists walk away, and all for the same reason.

It is seldom a question of health. It is more often a matter of indifference and bad manners. We can do much better and regain our position as wonderful audience. And yet… there is more we can do to alienate the artist.

How about shouting “Salud” or “Jesus” or even “Gesundheit” every time someone coughs? At least it might prove that we may be noisy but well-mannered.

And... What about whispering, applauding at the wrong time, sporting alergy provoking perfumes, opening and closing hand-bags with resonant clicks, arriving late, humming along with the tenor, etc?

Surely a good opportunity for a second Concert Etiquette?

This article by Jaime Botana originally ran in the Buenos Aires Herald, May 2011

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

10 Commandments of Mobile Etiquette

In a 2011 survey, 13% of people polled said that they had pretended to be talking to someone on their cell phones, to avoid talking to other people around them. Etiquipedia's guess is the actual percentage is much higher.

1. Thou shalt give your phone a rest. Smartphones, mobile phones, cell phones... Whatever you call them, they are not personal appendages. At least they are not supposed to be. They are a way of facilitating communication with others more easily. Yours does not need to be in your hand 24/7, as one needs to be sleeping at some point out of those 24 hours a day.

2. Thou shalt turn off your ringer in public places and not set your phone down in front of you at a restaurant table or any other place where you are meeting with others face to face. Nothing is more annoying than being mid-sentence in a conversation, and having someone's phone light up, buzz or ring. It can stop genial and productive flows of conversation, only so others can ask, "Do you need to take that?"

3. Thou shalt not indulge in "Cell Yell." If the person that you're talking to can't hear you, don't yell. Unless you are whispering, you probably just have a lousy connection. "Cell yell" puts others around you in cell hell, and does not help the situation anymore than it does to yell in your native tongue at people who do not speak your language.

4. Thou shalt not text or talk while holding on to your device if you are driving or operating any other machinery. There have been too many fatalities and fender-benders caused by cell phone distraction. If a call or text is that important to you, pull off the road and send your text, tweet, or make your call.

5. Thou shalt not "phub." "Phubbing" is the act of snubbing someone in a social setting by looking at your phone instead of paying attention to the person or people you are with. In other words, don't talk or text when you are in the company of anyone else, unless you have an emergency of some sort, or the person with you is in on what is being said or texted. 

Smartphones shouldn't be barriers between you and your child's, or grandchild's activities. Letting them be a part of your phone's use helps reduce iGuilt.

 iGuilt- Do you suffer from this dreaded affliction? 

They call it iGuilt. It's become an increasingly common sight at Saturday morning sport as parents tap away at their phones, missing little Jimmy's goal. Some parents don't even realise what they're doing while others readily admit they devote more attention to their iPhone than to their child. The modern world is filled with technological distractions, from smartphones to laptops to iPads, which are increasingly hard to switch off. Netsafe director and father of a 4 and 8-year-old, Martin Cocker admitted smartphones sometimes interfered with his parenting. His job means he needs to always be contactable by media and colleagues and so he always has his phone on and with him. "If I get messages, I check them and if my phone rings, I answer it because it might be work-related. But the bulk of the time, of course, it's not." Mr. Cocker said smartphone technologies were deliberately designed to keep people engaged. "It's designed to get you using it and to keep you using, making it harder to pull away." They do that because they don't make money in a traditional way. You don't pay to use a lot of the services that people are constantly using on their smartphones, but the more you use it the more the companies who own the apps can sell the advertising for," he said. As well, new technologies have removed the ability to stop working when you leave the office, meaning work inevitably creeps into home life. Mother of two and iPhone user Rochelle Gribble admitted she's fallen victim to iGuilt after seeing the behaviour of 3-year-old Caitlin deteriorate when she devotes too much time to her iPhone. "I've become increasingly mindful that I need to not have my iPhone out when my kids are around," she said. "When my daughter wants my attention but I'm on my phone she does something which she knows is naughty and she's basically trying to get my attention. So it's at that moment when I know I need to put down my phone, put away the computer and engage with her." Mrs Gribble works from home and runs parenting advice website."One of the reason I work from home is so I can spend time with my kids and I want to enjoy their childhood and here I am checking my email at the park." She frequently sees parents getting distracted by their phones while pushing their children on the swings at the park. "There's lots of little fun distractions on the internet, like Facebook, and sometimes it's a heck of a lot more interesting than talking to your children, let's be honest. And it's also a lot less demanding." Professor Alan France, head of the Sociology department at the University of Auckland, said the positive impact of technology should be noted as well. Gadgets like PlayStation's Wii had the ability to draw families together to play games while children having increased access to mobile phones meant parents could worry less." ... mobiles have improved parents' connection to their children and I don't see that as a bad thing." Mr. Cocker suggested "technology-free weekends" to help improve family-time, or even just a technology-free day or afternoon. ~ Source New Zealand Herald News, 2012

6. Thou shalt not make a call or take a call of a highly personal nature in a public place. If others can hear your conversation, maintain a distance of at least 10 feet from the closest person next to you, so that they do not have to hear your half of a conversation about your sex life, or lack thereof.

The selfie seen 'round the world. Digital diplomacy or international embarrassment?

7. Thou shalt not take selfies at funerals, mortuaries or memorial services. And while we're on the subject of photos, don't take pictures or video of anyone without their permission first. That handy availability of a camera on your phone? It doesn't give you the right to photograph someone.

8. Thou shalt not use your cell phone at the theater, opera, symphony, lecture or a play, unless you need to call for emergency services.

9. Thou shalt not call or text someone in anger. Anger makes people say things they regret later on. If you are angry, wait 12 to 24 hours to cool off, then make your call or text.

10. If your call is dropped, call the person back out of courtesy, regardless of which phone you suspect dropped the call. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Respect should not be a one-way street.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Has Tech Made Us Anti-Social?

Steve Jobs at the launch of the iPod in 2001

It's 13 years since the iPod was unveiled, but has the MP3 player turned us all into headphone-wearing, anti-social people?

It sounds like a dystopian vision. Half of humankind wired up to a parallel universe that leaves them oblivious to their surroundings and fellow man.

Those used to travelling on public transport will recognise the scene - a carriage full of commuters sprouting white wires that plug into the ear with little white buds. In the car, children listen to their own music on headphones.

Once upon a time footballers travelling to away games would bond over a game of cards on the team bus. Now they step off the coach with headphones on, as if their journey has been a solitary exploration of a favourite playlist or movie. Many runners, cyclists and even swimmers train with headphones.

The personal stereo has been around for three decades. But the iPod - by far the biggest selling MP3 player - has taken it well beyond the limitations of its bulky earlier equivalents, like the Sony Walkman or Discman. Since Apple unveiled its first iPod in October 2001, promising "1,000 songs in your pocket", the company has sold more than 300 million of them.

In 2005 the media greeted the revelation that President George W Bush owned an iPod with surprise. Now that the iPod's tentacles creep through society, such news would be greeted with a shrug.

By 2007 over half of Western city dwellers were using an iPod or MP3 player, says Prof Michael Bull, author of Sound Moves: iPod culture and urban experience.

Research suggests that when people switch to an MP3 player, they listen to music for twice as long as before.

It has gone beyond the anti-establishment youth market of the personal stereo to embrace everyone from children to grandparents. And research suggests that when people switch to an MP3 player, they listen to music for twice as long as before, Prof Bull says.

Leander Kahney, editor of Cultofmac.com, based in San Francisco, argues the iPod has enriched people's lives, allowing them to escape the daily grind. "It's been a great boon to people on the way to work. There's nothing like music to be a mood lifter. The iPod is a mood drug."

And despite attempts by competitors like Microsoft to launch their own versions, Apple's product has not had significant opposition, never slipping below 70% market share, Kahney notes.

Here Thierry Henry has his headphones in the "you may talk to me" position

German-Brazilian inventor Andreas Pavel can be regarded as the spiritual father of headphone culture, having invented the first personal stereo in the 1970s. Pavel's initial aim was to free recorded music from the yoke of the household music system.

But when he first tried out his prototype - "this magic combination of sound source and headphones" - he experienced something transcendental. "It was like a dream. It is the pleasure of the music combined with the vision of your environment. You are putting a soundtrack to life so that it becomes like a film."

In those days he was laughed at for wanting to move around while listening to music on headphones, he recalls. And Sony's marketing department told him his prototype was too expensive and wouldn't find a market.

But they later went on to develop the Walkman. In 2003, after 23 years of legal negotiations with Sony's lawyers, the Japanese electronics firm agreed to settle out of court.

So ubiquitous is headphone culture today that it has become a sort of cultural shorthand - often for a spoilt, selfish generation who lack civic values.

"Getting creative with a slow news day, NPR convinced classical music expert Miles Hoffman to create an iPod playlist for Honest Abe in honor of President’s Day. Hoffman’s picks include:  Friedrich von Flotow: “Ach so fromm” from Martha, a love song from an opera that Lincoln liked. Louis Moreau Gottschalk: The Union, a Fantasy on Patriotic Airs, Traditional Scottish: “Annie Laurie”
“I Wish I Was in Dixie’s Land” (Bob ‘n’ John Minstrels)  If “Dixie” comes as a surprise, Hoffman says it shouldn’t: “It had already been a popular song before the Civil War and came from a minstrel show.”  Lincoln had been quoted as saying, ‘I have always thought “Dixie” one of the best tunes I have ever heard.’ ”
“After the war,” Hoffman adds, “Lincoln is reported to have said, ‘That tune is now federal property, and it is good to show the rebels that, with us in power, they will be free to hear it again." From Cult of Mac.com

When British sailors were taken prisoner by the Iranians in 2007, Able Seaman Arthur Batchelor admitted he had "cried like a baby" after his iPod was confiscated by his captors. He was branded a national embarrassment by newspapers. In the same year, a Muslim juror was discharged from a murder trial after being caught listening to her iPod under the hijab.

But the most visceral concern is that the iPod is making people anti-social. It's not just the tinny noise that leaks out of the puny ear buds but the barrier the device erects between people. Telegraph columnist Bryony Gordon says young people have grown up to be "plugged in" to their iPod, rather than relating to their surroundings.

"I wouldn't stop someone wearing those white wires to ask for directions. It's like they're putting up a big closed sign," Gordon notes.

Prof Bull's interviews with iPod users confirm this perception. Many iPod users told him they resented people interrupting their listening to talk to them.

The iPod has thus created a minefield over how to behave. When entering a shop, should the user take off their headphones to talk to a sales assistant? Should they take one out? Or leave them both on and turn the volume down?

Debrett's etiquette adviser Liz Wyse says that both of them must come out. "It's very belittling to a shop assistant if you can't be bothered to take your headphones out. And the half on, half off, look is compromised - it's like you're going to put them back in any minute."

Many people wear headphones in circumstances where they would not anyway want to be disturbed 

But in a reflection of what a battlefield public space has become, she defends the iPod as a means of defence against a still worse public nuisance - the mobile phone. "An iPod is a brilliant thing on trains. Otherwise you're forced to listen to people's loud conversations on their mobile phones."

Psychologist Oliver James says the reluctance to take one's headphones out shows the "self-absorbed and atomised" state that people have got themselves into. "It's almost like madness. Will I come out of my bubble? How much of a compromise will I make to my external reality?"

But the fact is, it fits our modern desires, says Prof Bull. People have never talked much on trains - hence the famous commuters' trick of hiding behind their copy of the Daily Telegraph. The iPod is merely amplifying that trend.

"It can be lonely travelling through public space and using music warms it up," he says. The downside is that while the individual feels warmer - and has the perception of being safer despite not being able to hear an approaching assailant - the public realm becomes a less social, "chillier" space.

Mocked the world over in the press, on his first visit to Buckingham Palace in 2009, President Obama gave Queen Elizabeth II an iPod. Given a second chance, his 2011 gift for the British monarch was decidedly more Presidential and traditional.  According to the White House, Mr. Obama gave the queen a collection of rare memorabilia and photographs in a handmade leather-bound album that chronologically highlighted her parents' 1939 visit to the U.S.

The MP3 player dominates the Western world

But the iPod hasn't caused this move from public to personal space, it is just reflecting the trend, Prof Bull argues. Nowadays people work out to their own playlists in the gym rather than hearing the same tunes. But that's not to say people are becoming anti-social.

"The actual presence of people next to you in the street is not recognised as social any more. We get our intimacy from nearby loved ones or people who are absent over chat sites and social media," he says.

Pavel says he never set out to isolate people from the outside world when he made that first rudimentary personal stereo. Indeed he recalls how his patent suggested a non-recording microphone so that users could hear the world around them during the music. And there were to be up to four outputs so that people could listen in groups.

In the end, it's a trade-off, Pavel believes. Sometimes we want privacy and escapism, other times interaction with our fellow man.

"It is somewhat isolating. But when I'm on the bus I don't necessarily want to talk to people. I want the aesthetic involvement of listening to music."

main article originally published September 2011, by Tom de Castella for BBC News Magazine

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Google Glass Etiquette

GOOGLE'S GLASS ETIQUETTE GUIDE

Breaking the rules or being rude will not get businesses excited about Glass and will ruin it for other Explorers.

DO:

Explore the world around you. Glass puts you more in control of your technology and frees you to look up and engage with the world around you rather than look down and be distracted from it. Have a hangout with your friends, get walking directions to a fantastic new restaurant, or get an update on that delayed flight.

Take advantage of the Glass voice commands. Glass can free your hands up to do other things like golfing, cooking, or juggling flaming torches while balancing on a beach ball (but also see Don’ts #2). This is great for looking up how many ounces in a cup while you cook, or taking a one-of-a-kind photo from your unique perspective.

Ask for permission. Standing alone in the corner of a room staring at people while recording them through Glass is not going to win you any friends (see Don’ts #4). The Glass camera function is no different from a cell phone so behave as you would with your phone and ask permission before taking photos or videos of others.

Use screen lock. Glass screen lock works like your smartphone’s screen lock: it passcode-protects your device to help prevent others from using it. If you ever lose your device or have it stolen by a budding online resale entrepreneur, you can turn off Glassware and perform a remote wipe (e.g. factory reset) of the device, removing all your information from the device. All you need to do is go to your MyGlass page on your browser, or the MyGlass App on your phone.

Be an active and vocal member of the Glass Explorer Community. The Explorer Program was created in order to have a place where our Explorers can give feedback, share content and communicate with the Glass team. It’s been hugely successful over the past year and this is due to our wonderful group of Explorers. They are constantly sharing their worlds with us and with each other, allowing us to hear and work on all the great feedback and stories our Explorers give us (and, wow, do they give us a lot!).

DON’T:  

Glass-out. Glass was built for short bursts of information and interactions that allow you to quickly get back to doing the other things you love. If you find yourself staring off into the prism for long periods of time you’re probably looking pretty weird to the people around you. So don’t read War and Peace on Glass. Things like that are better done on bigger screens.

Rock Glass while doing high-impact sports. Glass is a piece of technology, so use common sense. Water skiing, bull riding or cage fighting with Glass are probably not good ideas.

Wear it and expect to be ignored. Let’s face it, you’re gonna get some questions. Be patient and explain that Glass has a lot of the same features as a mobile phone (camera, maps, email, etc.). Also, develop your own etiquette. If you’re worried about someone interrupting that romantic dinner at a nice restaurant with a question about Glass, just take it off and put it around the back of your neck or in your bag.

Be creepy or rude (aka, a “Glasshole”). Respect others and if they have questions about Glass don’t get snappy. Be polite and explain what Glass does and remember, a quick demo can go a long way. In places where cell phone cameras aren’t allowed, the same rules will apply to Glass. If you’re asked to turn your phone off, turn Glass off as well. Breaking the rules or being rude will not get businesses excited about Glass and will ruin it for other Explorers.– As reported by NBC News

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia