Etiquette for Christmas Greetings

A personal message on a late 19h century photograph served as a Christmas card– “The experts urge us not to add greeting cards to our Christmas list of woes. ‘I've never gotten offended by not getting a card,”  ~ Image from the Etiquipedia private library

Keep Christmas greetings brief, experts say

The Do’s and Dont’s of Sending Greetings

If you've had triplets in Brooklyn but haven't told a buddy in Biloxi, go ahead, break the blessed event in your Christmas blurb. Otherwise, please spare the details.

“Some kind of megalomania seizes people at this time of year. They write all kinds of things they wouldn't dream of telling you,” says “Miss Manners” Judith Martin. "If you're going to write a letter, for heaven's sake, write a letter."

A card-carrying greeting card-hater, the syndicated columnist says the holiday season is one exception: if it's done “write.” The only yuletide words she sends come from her own pen, but Martin says painted cards are proper as long as you at least sign your name.

And about that trail of names you'll soon pull out with the artificial tree. “If your husband says, ‘I thought they were friends of yours,’ and you say, ‘I thought they were friends of yours,’ maybe it's time to drop them,” Martin says.
“Eventually, they'll do the same,” adds another Queen of Courtesy, Elizabeth Post. Post, author of “Etiquette: A Guide to Modern Manners,” has her list down to 80 names. And most years, her message benefits UNICEF or another charitable organization that puts out cards.

The experts urge us not to add greeting cards to our Christmas list of woes. “I've never gotten offended by not getting a card,” says Joseph Gonzales, of Masterpiece Studios, a card company out with a brochure called “Christmas Card Etiquette.”

Other do's and don'ts:

• DON'T use a Christmas card to announce your wife just died. Also, no fa-la-la-la-la's to anyone in mourning. Choose a card that says something like “Peace on Earth,” but…
• DON'T kick in condolences.
• DO save it for another season, if you must send off-color jokes or dirty messages.
• DO give your postage meter the day off. Stamps are more festive.
• Send cards to business contacts, but…
•  DON'T overdo it - you won't spruce up your image if the recipient doesn't remember who you are. And…
• DO sign all cards.

–By Jane Gottlieb, Gannett News Service, 1987

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1960’s Christmas Card Etiquette

Do you have “understanding-type” friends? Go ahead and add Fido’s name to your Christmas card’s signatures!

Long before emailed Christmas cards, there was detailed Christmas card etiquette. Here are  1964’s etiquette tips for Christmas cards. 

Tom, Dick, Mary . . . And Fido? 

It's OK to Put Dog's Name on Yule Card If You Have Understanding-Type Friends

NEW YORK (UPI)—Problem: Your dog’s practically a member of the family. All your friends know that. Is it okay to include his name when you sign the Christmas cards? Solution; If you’re the informal type, why not? But only to close friends who understand the place your furry friend has in the family’s hearts. Not all problems concerning Christmas card etiquette are solved so easily.

Consider married couples’ signatures. Etiquette says either name first is proper. If he’s the boss, sign cards Fred and Nancy Smith. If you rule, make it Nancy and Fred. How about individual last names? The American Greeting Card Association source for these card-signer’s tips, suggests you use the last name, unless you have distinct first names—say Archie and Mehitabel. If it’s just Joe and Jane, include the last name to keep friends from wondering which Joe and which Jane. 

Include Children’s Names 

Should you include the children’s names on cards? Yes. Usually, the father’s name comes first, the mother's second and the only child’s last. Sample: John and Mary and Tommy Merry. If there are several children, however, follow this form: John and Mary Merry, Tom, Polly and Joan. 

Other card tips to guide you as you prepare the holiday greetings: 

—Personal messages. The inked-in personal note adds warmth. If you address your Christmas cards early, you'll have the time to add the thoughtful messages that mean so much. 

—More than one card to a family? Addressing a Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Tom Smith and Family is okay. But if you’ve a warm spot for the small fry, a personal card for each will up your rating. Older members of the family, like a mother-in-law, also appreciate a solo card. 

—What about postage? First class friends deserve first class mail. First class postage also insures forwarding and return service by the post office. Technically, you can include a written message only with Christmas cards sent first class. If you like, use one of the 1964 five cent Christmas stamps. There are four designs featuring mistletoe, holly, poinsettia and pine cone.

—Should the envelope carry a return address? Yes. Add it to the envelope as a help to a friend who wants to return your greetings. Who knows what may have happened to the friend’s address book. 

Personal Touch 

—Is it necessary to exchange Christmas cards? The greetings go to people with whom you want to keep in touch, but there may be exceptions. If, at long last, you’ve lopped Cynthia Figtree off your list, what will you do when her card arrives? No, you haven’t seen her since the third grade, but if she sends you a card, you rush out and send her one post haste. 

Card makers, by the way, are encouraging the personal messages on Christmas cards. Joyce C. Hall, founder and president of Hallmark Cards, says the warmth of the personal note is akin to a handshake and Yuletide greetings exchanged among friends on Christmas morning. When the company's cards for 1964 were being designed. Hall ordered all printed sentiments moved high enough inside the cards to permit both the imprinting of the sender's name and adequate space for a personally written note. – Desert Sun, 1964

Wishing our readers a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Prosperous 2018 

– Maura J. Graber, the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia!

Christmas or Yule Card Etiquette

Etiquette for whose name is first, last and signatures...

Q. Whose name comes first if you use a card with your names printed or engraved on it?

A. Here the wife’s name is courteously used first; “Mary and Tom’’ (or "Mary and Tom Green”).


Q. If a Christmas card is engraved with the sender’s names, with “Mr. and Mrs.” should these be at the top or bottom of the card?

A. Always at the top. Otherwise, they might seem like a signature.

 
Q. When signing the card, whose name is written first the husband’s or wife’s?

A. It is courteous for the person signing the card to write the other name first. For example, if you sign the card for you and your husband, it should read: “Tom and Mary.'’ – The Desert Sun, 1966

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia