More 1930’s Etiquette Advice

In Continental Dining, the salad course is served after the main course, as it is felt that the salad “aids in digestion.” Thus, the salad fork and salad knife at the place setting, are the closest to the left and right sides of the plate. — “Cutting dinner salads with a table knife is permissible under dictates of the new etiquette.”

8 More Hints on Etiquette 

A high school boy should not only rise when a lady enters the room, but also when a girl over 12 years old enters. — 1937

Modern etiquette considers it in good taste to serve the woman guest of honor first rather than the hostess. — 1937

Informal teas are held in the living room, on porch or lawn. They are never served in the dining room. — 1937

Faultless etiquette is never more desirable than at the bridge table. The ideal player does not argue, snap the cards, whistle or take excessive time in playing. — 1937

It is poor etiquette to permit a child to run up and down a railroad car. — 1937

Cutting dinner salads with a table knife is permissible under dictates of the new etiquette. — 1937

Courtesy should prevail on the highway as well as in the ballroom. The keynote of road etiquette is “consideration”. — 1938

The new etiquette does not look with favor upon stilted speech. The first law of good speech is to say the natural, spontaneous thing in a natural, spontaneous way. — 1938

 From the “Grab Bag” feature in the Imperial Valley Press, 1937 and 1938

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Using Napkins and Napkin Rings

It seems that Miss Manners “has survived into a world where people believe that napkin rings are useless but decorative items to be put out on the company table. Of course there are always fresh napkins out for company, which is why napkin rings were strictly an informal, family device that would be considered ludicrous at a dinner party.” — 

A little over 100 years earlier from when this article was written, a gilded age design for a combination napkin ring, menu holder and bud vase was patented.

— Photo source, Etiquipedia library

The Finer Points of Correct Manners 

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Qualms were a sensation unknown to Miss Manners. If you invariably do everything right, there is never any occasion for that sudden "whoops" that starts a downhill slide of misgivings.

So it was rather a shock for Miss Manners to experience a slight semblance of this feeling in regard to, of all things, a dinner-table practice. Miss Manners' dinner table is not, as you can imagine, lax. But twice in a week, different people had expressed shock upon discovering that at the Miss Manners family dinner table, napkin rings are used in the traditional way. That is to say, each member of the family has a different napkin ring (in this case, the designs are different, but it is also customary to have similar rings with identifying names or initials), replaces it on the napkin after a meal, and thus is able to receive the same napkin for use at the next meal.

"Do you mean to say," each of her interlocutors had asked with widened eyes and mouths, "that you don't have fresh napkins at every meal?"

Well, yes, that is what Miss Manners had meant, if not what she had necessarily meant to blab. Just as ordinary households have the sheets and towels changed once a week (not twice a day, as fastidious tycoons with full-time laundresses are said to demand, since tycoons require afternoon naps on fresh sheets to soften the stress of all that money), ordinary households have the napkins changed every few days, barring accidents or finger-food orgies.

Or so Miss Manners had thought. It was the expressions of surprise that prompted her qualms. Are other people doing a load of napkins every day, one for each meal that each member of the family takes at home?

Since Miss Manners agrees that in an ideal world there would be no recycling of used napkins, ought she to be spending her time attending to the home question rather than the world's etiquette problems?

Not really. The world of etiquette is not unfamiliar with compromise and trade-offs, and Miss Manners can live with recycled napkins in order to have time for doing other things, and in order not to create a water shortage.

It was only later that Miss Manners discovered the real meaning of those questions.

It seems that she has survived into a world where people believe that napkin rings are useless but decorative items to be put out on the company table.

Of course there are always fresh napkins out for company, which is why napkin rings were strictly an informal, family device that would be considered ludicrous at a dinner party.

But it seems that there are also now fresh napkins out for each family meal - not because household laundry has increased, but because "napkin" has come to mean something made out of paper. Cloth napkins are thought to be too much trouble in a busy modern household.

Miss Manners urges a revival of the daily use of cloth napkins, along with the labor-saving napkin rings. Contrary to anti-etiquette propaganda, various prematurely abandoned tableware devices were not invented in order to put sensible people to unnecessary expense and trouble. On the contrary.

For example, finger bowls have survived only where they are least needed - at formal dinners, where there is little likelihood of finger food being served.

The effete versions on doilies, with floating rose petal, to be put to one side untouched by the diner, disguise the fact that finger bowls properly serve the purpose of a moist towelette in a package.

Salad knives have pretty much passed out of use (but not at Miss Manners' table), but it continues to be impossible to cut a wedge of lettuce or tomato with the side of a fork.

In regard to napkin-ring usage, Miss Manners has been asked whether it isn't disgusting to reuse a napkin. Not if you also use another quaint old tradition that has also fallen into disuse. Table manners.— By Judith Martin, Miss Manners, 1989

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Swell Dinner Etiquette

Two different Victorian silver orange servers. One holds a half of an orange with two silver “pins” on chains. The other has silver “spikes” with which to twist the half of the orange onto to hold in place — “Pears and apples are peeled with a silver knife, cut in quarters and eaten with the fingers. Grapes should be eaten from behind the half-closed hand, the stones and skins falling into the fingers unobserved and thence to the plate. Oranges are eaten with a spoon. Salad is eaten with a fork, but needs a knife to cut large leaves that have not been divided before serving. Cheese is eaten with a fork, though soft cheeses are spread on a bit of cracker or bread and conveyed to the mouth by the fingers.”

One may be refined and elegant, yet unless continually given over to a round of social entertaining, may find one’s self at a loss when invited to some swell dinner where the latest fads are observed and more ceremonious etiquette required than for informal affairs just among the family. On elegant tables each plate is accompanied by two large silver knives, a small silver knife and fork for fish, a small fork for oysters, a tablespoon for soup and three large forks.

The napkin is folded in the center with a piece of bread upon it. As the courses are served, the knives and forks and spoons that have been used, are removed with the plate. Fish should be eaten with a silver fork, and if full of bones, needs the use of the knife, as well. For sweet breads, cutlets, roast beef, etc., the knife is also necessary, but for croquettes, rissoles, bondies à la Reine, timbales and dishes of that class, the fork is required.

When dessert is reached, everything save the tablecloth and floral decorations, is removed. A dessert plate with a small silver spoon, a dessert spoon and fork and sometimes a combination fork and spoon for ices, are placed before each guest. Pears and apples are peeled with a silver knife, cut in quarters and eaten with the fingers. Grapes should be eaten from behind the half-closed hand, the stones and skins falling into the fingers unobserved and thence to the plate. Oranges are eaten with a spoon. Salad is eaten with a fork, but needs a knife to cut large leaves that have not been divided before serving. Cheese is eaten with a fork, though soft cheeses are spread on a bit of cracker or bread and conveyed to the mouth by the fingers.

Salt-cellars are now placed at each plate, and it is not improper to take salt with the knife. If sorbets are served before the game, a dessert spoon accompanies them, but it is not among the original number placed on the table The small after dinner coffee spoon is used with the tiny cups of the black beverage that concludes all dinners. The spoon is the most dangerous implement of the dinner, so far as its correct usage is concerned. Soup is always taken taken from the side and is eaten noiselessly. To push the spoon into the mouth either end first or otherwise, is decidedly vulgar. — Philadelphia Times, 1894

Several different Victorian silver orange servers Were patented in the Gilded Age. This one from 1895 holds a half of an orange with two silver “pins” on chains.

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia

Place Settings and Good Taste

The salad knife, cutting side toward the plate, is put next to the plate on the right. A silver bladed knife is especially correct for salad– but if you prefer knifeless salad eating, choose your salad accordingly and omit the knife.

Choice of Silver is Declaration of Good Taste

The silver on your table is a declaration of your taste. Whether it be sterling or plate, there is, in an excellent pattern and in the perfect form and proportion of the utensils, an unmistakeable aristocracy that gives a proud hearted splendor and distinction to your table. In your linens, you achieve the desired background for your tables and in your glass and china you have unlimited means for the expression of beautiful form. Then, in your silver utensils, you add the important accessories which are beautiful and decorative and which, because of their constant usefulness, are essential in furthering the “art of gracious living” and of table etiquette. 

Will the tops of the handles fit perfectly into the center of the palm of the hand? Determine if the handles are comfortable to hold and examine all of the pieces, when choosing your flatware.

Study All Pieces 

When you have determined upon the pattern of your silver, you must supplement its beauty by its practicality. For instance, when you choose a pattern of silver, you should examine all the pieces to be sure you are going to like the shapes of all the rest of the pieces. Determine if the handles are comfortable to hold and that the tops of the handles of the knives and forks fit perfectly into the center of the palm of the hand. Then ascertain, if possible, if the pattern is apt to be “discontinued.” 

The amount of flat silver to be placed beside each plate depends upon the menu to be served. The question of which fork or spoon to choose is no longer a problem if the table is properly set, since the outside implement is always the one you are meant to use. In setting the table, therefore, you put the fork or spoon that is to be used last next to the plate, and mentally continue through the courses backward, until the implements for the first course are on the outside or farthest from the plate. 

Placing of Forks and Knives Correctly

The dinner fork (or meat fork) is put next to the plate, prongs up, and about two and one-half inches from the edge of the table. The salad fork is placed on the left of the meat or dinner fork. The salad knife, cutting side toward the plate, is put next to the dinner knife (or meat knife) which is closest to the plate on the right. A silver bladed knife is especially correct for salad - but if you prefer knifeless salad eating, choose your salad accordingly and omit the knife. 

For “Continental Dining” the order of the courses is reversed and the dinner fork is placed to the left of the salad fork ,while the dinner knife goes to the right of the salad knife.

  

Spoons at Right 

The spoons are placed on the right of the knife in the order of the courses in which they are to be used.  The soup spoon, then, would be the spoon farthest from the knife. Some authorities affirm that it is correct to place only five pieces of sliver on the table for each cover, and that if more are required they may be brought in with the course for which they are needed. 

Glasses are put above or at the upper right of the knives. At luncheon or supper, if you serve iced tea or coffee in a tall glass, the long spoon is placed on the table beside it. – La Habra Star, 1935

Etiquette Enthusiast,Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Emily’s Etiquette Book Backlash

“Saucers for vegetables are contrary to all etiquette.” – Advice from Emily Post’s 1922 “Etiquette––the Blue Book of Social Usage”

Emily Post was a New York socialite who turned to writing after her 1906 divorce. First trying her hand at novels, in 1922 and at the age of 50, Post’s reworked version of Emily Holt’s 1901 “Encyclopaedia of Etiquette,” titled “Etiquette––the Blue Book of Social Usage” was published. Countless etiquette books had already been written for centuries before, but within a year of Post’s book being published, the British press was poking fun at Americans. They delighted in mocking those they viewed as pushy and upwardly mobile, nouveau riche Americans, who bought Post’s book, striving to be part of what she called, “Best Society.”

Many English Papers Mock U. S. Customs

——————

Press Is Poking Fun at Supposed ‘Cultural Revolution’

LONDON— Certain English newspapers seem to delight in poking fun at American customs and manners, and some of the London publications make more or less a practice of parading the idiosyncrasies and habits of American tourists. This is especially true where American customs differ from the orthodox traits of the Englishman. 

A London newspaper with a circulation of 1,000,000 has featured the following paragraph regarding a “cultural revolution” which was taking place in the United States: “Cuspidors are being removed from countless American drawing rooms. Chewing gum is being scraped off parlor chairs. Several million Americans spend hours daily in practising the correct pronunciation of the words ‘aunt,’ ‘clerk,’ ‘derby’ and ‘advertisement’.” Then came the ironical information that “bootlegging is no longer the principal occupation of the cultured minds of America.” and that much more time is being spent “In reading the social culture advertisements and learning how easy it is to misbehave “unless one buys the book of good manners.” 

The British public is told that a great wave of etiquette is sweeping America. “Half America’s 110,000,000 people are now spending a large part of their time in watching the other half and seeing that they conform to the rules of social culture,” says this satirical Journal. Patrons of restaurants are pictured as spending so much time watching one another that they eat only about a half what they consumed before the wave of etiquette struck America. The paper quotes a Broadway manager as saying that “when a diner uses his knife on a salad or takes two bites at a strawberry, such a hush falls upon the assembly that one can even hear the orchestra.” — Associated Press Correspondence, 1923

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Salad Etiquette

The Waldorf’ Astoria’s maître d’hôtel, Oscar Tschirky is credited with creating the Waldorf salad. After working at other establishments, including Delmonico’s, he retired in 1943, after working at the famous New York hotel  for 50 years.

Everything About Salad Etiquette

🥗 Questions and Answers on Salads 🥗 

Q. Should one eat the lettuce or salad green under the salad? 

A. Yes. It is part of the salad, is intended to be eaten, and polite guests will eat at least a little. 

Q. May lettuce be cut with a knife? 

A. Yes, if necessary—providing the knife has a sliver blade. (This custom arose because steel knives turned black.) Most hostesses serve salad that does not require cutting, but in many homes a salad knife is always provided with leafy salads. 

Q. May salad be served with the meat course ? 

A. Yes, a simple tart salad may be served right with the meat course. The individual salads are placed at left of dinner plate. When salad is a separate course, place it directly in front of the guest, after removing the dinner plate. 

Q. Where does the salad fork go, in the table setting? 

A. The salad fork goes to the left of dinner plate, then come the meat fork and left of that the fork for fish or entree. If a salad knife is used, it goes at right, next to the plate. 

Q. May salad be passed? 

A. Yes, and this is an effective way to serve salad at a party or buffet supper. Be sure, however, that each individual salad is easy to remove from the platter. 

Q. Is salad ever eaten from the dinner plate ? 

A. When garniture salad is served, such as a bit of slaw or similar mixture, to accompany meat or fish course, it may be eaten right on the dinner plate —either taken with a spoon or served as a garnish. 

Q. Must salad always have a plate to itself ? 

A. For parties, such as bridges, teas or luncheons, what the restaurants call a “club plate” may be used—the salad (in lettuce cup or shell) is then right on the large plate, with the other foods grouped on the same plate. 

Q. Should dressings be passed, even when the salad has been prepared with salad dressing? 

A. This is at the discretion of the hostess. Some salads are served without dressing, so that their beauty of arrangement will not be marred, and these require the passing of dressing. Too, some guests may prefer more dressing, and it is courtesy to permit them to have it. — Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1938

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette, Entrées and “Extras”

Forks designed for a variety of courses —   Some say the word “entrée” came from the word “entremets.” An entremets (from the Old French, literally meaning “between servings”) is in modern French cuisine a small dish served between courses or simply a dessert. Originally, an elaborate form of entertainment dish, it was common among the nobility and upper middle class in Europe during the later Middle Ages. Entremets marked the end of a serving of courses.

Q . What is the meaning of entrée, and how is it pronounced?
A.  It is a dish served between the chief courses, or, in English usage, before the roast. Pronounced AHN-tra, first a as in ah, second a as in tray, accent first syllable. 

Q. My husband, some friends and I were discussing different courses of a dinner and their names. My husband and I agreed that we always thought of the entrée as being the appetizer, since logically you are ‘entering the meal.’ Our friends disagreed and said the entrée is a main course. The dictionary said the entrée is a side dish (which would make it seem my husband and I are right), yet while eating at one of the better restaurants we found the main course labeled ‘entrée.’ Please settle this question for us. If my husband and I are right, what is the correct name for the main course (other than what I called it)? In addition, please give us the correct names for all the courses.

A. The word entrée comes from the vocabulary of the great French chefs and from the days when formal dinners were elaborate affairs indeed. Originally it meant a dish served between the main courses of a banquet or, in the words of an English dictionary, “a made dish served between the fish and the joint.” Nowadays, of course, elaborate multicourse dinners are almost entirely a thing of the past, with the result that the meaning of “entrée” has gradually shifted until now it means any meat or fish course usually the main course of a meal. As to nomenclature of the courses, according to most etiquette authorities, even an elaborate formal dinner today should not have more than six, in this order:

• First the appetizer canapes, oysters or the like
• Second soup
• Third fish (this could be labeled “entrée” in the early sense of the word). 
• Fourth main or meat course (which today we would call the “entrée”)
• Fifth salad course
• Sixth dessert course

Q. When setting the table should a knife for the entrée be included? 
A. A knife for the entrée is seldom required, and is not used unless necessary.  

Q. Where do the salad fork and knife go in the table setting? 

A. The salad fork goes to the left of dinner plate, then come the meat fork and left of that the fork for fish or entrée. If a salad knife is used, it goes at right, next to the plate.

Q. We have no actual salad forks and nothing especially suitable for eating dessert. In fact, I have only very big knives and forks and the smaller ones which I had first before the newer big ones. 

A. It is too bad that you got big ones, because the medium sized ones are the essential ones. They are the only ones used for breakfast or lunch, and they are also used for fish, entrée,salad and dessert at dinner. Properly they are called small forks, but so many patterns made in the last few years have been absurdly tiny that I said medium instead. The small (medium) knife may very well be dispensed with by never serving fish with bones or skin, and never serving salads or cheeses impossible to eat with a fork alone. 

Q. I have been told that finger bowls are going out of fashion. Is this true?
A. Of course not. They are always put at the places either with or following the dessert plates. For that matter, they should also be proffered whenever fruit or broiled lobster or any other smeary food has been held in the fingers. 

Q. Are place cards used only at a formal dinner?
A. They are not used at dinners of less than, ten or at lunches or less than eight unless for some particular reason you want to put favors at the places for Christmas or an anniversary, for example.

 Sources— Syndicated articles by Emily Post, Roberta Lee, William Morris

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia