Posture and Table Etiquette

"I always want to cross my legs under the table. Most men do, I believe.” And why not? It is a comfortable position. It enables one to sit more erect, too, at the table, and gives one a more graceful pose. I do not know what etiquette says about one’s legs and feet during meal time, but I suppose it goes no further than to suggest that they should be kept under the table, which is correct, I ween.

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For centuries, Asians and Middle Easterners, among many other groups, have dined at low tables, sitting on the floor with their legs crossed, while tall dining tables with accompanying chairs became the norm throughout the US. and Europe.

Western Dining Tables Badly Designed 

Only Now and Then is One Under Which a Man Can Cross His Legs

“I have discovered a very great defect in the architecture of the dining table,” remarked an epicure yesterday, “and the defect is universal. I have found in my time but very few tables built after my ideal, and it seems to me that some man interested in matters of this sort ought to start a revolution along these lines. When I sit down to a meal I want to rest. Eating and resting ought to go together. Restfulness at meal time, absolute comfort at the table and good food of the wholesome kind are things that will commend themselves to most men. Now, I have what I call a meal-time hobby. I always want to cross my legs under the table. Most men do, I believe.”

And why not? It is a comfortable position. It enables one to sit more erect, too, at the table, and gives one a more graceful pose. I do not know what etiquette says about one’s legs and feet during meal time, but I suppose it goes no further than to suggest that they should be kept under the table, which is correct, I ween. But I insist that among my inalienable rights is the right to cross my legs, and to cross them under the mahogany at that, if it pleases me so to do and adds to my comfort. 

What other people may think about it does not count for so much as a whit. And yet, it is a fact that one rarely enjoys this gracious privilege, because of the awkward, grotesque and unhappy character of the dining table. The tables ought to be made differently. They ought to be roomier, so that a fellow would have ample space in which to cross his legs if it pleases him to do so. Of course, if one does not want to cross one’s legs at meal time one need not do it, so the change could do no harm.—New Orleans Times Democrat, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️Etiquette Encyclopedia

1920s Dinner Party Manners

At dinner, host or guest, one can surely practice the little graces that represent good breeding. In offering the following suggestions, most of them will probably meet with inward exclamations of aggrieved protest from the readers, but yet they are the commonest errors and simplest corrections.
Photo source, Pinterest 

This is a busy world—too busy for the common courtesies at times. How often do we catch ourselves, after a real or fancied “break” in etiquette, hanging the full blame on the excuse of absent-mindedness. However, at dinner, host or guest, one can surely practice the little graces that represent good breeding. In offering the following suggestions, most of them will probably meet with inward exclamations of aggrieved protest from the readers, but yet they are the commonest errors and simplest corrections. Here are a few “don’ts”. 

• Do not sit with elbow on the table. 
• Do not toy with food or tuck the napkin under the chin or fold it when finishing eating in a public eating house. 
• Do not mash food with a fork or comment on food at a dinner party. 
• Do not stir liquids more than a second or two, and after using any of the silver for your food, knife or spoon, do not retain it in your hand, but lay it on the table. 
• Do not throw out elbows while eating and do not lounge slouchily in your chair. 
• Of course, following the party it is courteous to thank the hostess for her hospitality, but it is both awkward and unnecessary to repeat such to the host. 

It is one of the prettiest and most thoughtful of graces to rise when someone is taking leave of you, and in doing so lay the napkin on the table. As to the napkin itself, unfold just once when you take your place at table, and lay it lengthwise across your lap. If you expect to use it again, fold it when rising from your place after the meal. Sit erect at the table, keep your hands in your lap between courses and sit quietly. When eating use the fork with the right hand, and you may, without being accused of gluttony, partake of each course. Eat crackers broken in small bits, the same as bread, and the best table etiquette decries the habit of breaking crackers into the bowl when taking soup. 

When leaving the house after the party, it is correct to take leave of both host and hostess. Careful hostesses arrange chairs a slight distance from the table. It is more graceful and makes the matter of seating guests an easier affair. It is allowable to place the bread and butter on the plates except at dinners, when it should be passed as needed. Or a crisp dinner roll may be folded in the dinner napkin. The host should allow all guests to precede him from the dining room. The careful and thoughtful hostess will inform her guests, in an unobtrusive manner, whether or not the dinner is to be formal or the reverse. 

Since a dinner invitation is the highest compliment that can be paid a guest, it is the guest’s duty to repay the hostess by proper dressing for the occasion and assist in making things go smoothly. Whenever there is any doubt as to the best way to do a thing, it is wise to follow that which is the most natural, and that will almost invariably be proper etiquette. To be at ease is a great big step toward enjoying your own dinner, and making yourself agreeable to the company. Finally, when rising from your chair at table, leave it where it stands. This trifling data sounds absurdly simple, doesn’t it? Yet a review is bound to suggest some point or another that you may have forgotten.– Florence Austin Chase, 1928

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia