Social Conduct in Japan

Don’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick (this gesture is reminiscent of a traditional Buddhist funeral, when the bones of the deceased are passed between ceremonial chopsticks of the family members).

 Basic Etiquette Tips For Japan

When traveling or moving to a completely new country, it is expected that you might commit a social faux pas or two. But with some experience and being reminded that "this simply isn’t done here” by the locals, you eventually learn what the acceptable behavior is.

In Japan, as with anywhere else, there are social rules of conduct that would benefit you to follow. The only thing is, the Japanese tend to be a little shy when confronting people about their behavior. In other words, you may never know that you are offending people, as it is possible that no one will tell you. So, here are the top five etiquette mistakes to avoid when in Japan.

Eating or drinking on trains

Generally speaking, people don’t eat while walking on the street or in crowded commuter trains. It’s not necessarily rude, but it does look a little shabby and might annoy others. However, on the shinkansen (bullet trains) and on planes where food is served, it’s fine to consume your own food and drinks.

Speaking in a loud voice on trains

Another thing that annoys people is speaking in a loud voice on trains and other public transportation. Using your phone on a train is a definite no-no. It’s common for people to get off at the next stop to take a call rather than face the collective ire of their fellow commuters.

Japanese people tend to be less vocal and expressive when in public compared with some of their western counterparts, so please keep it down. Yes, I’m talking to you, you loud foreigner.

Public displays of affection

Although this is changing with the younger generation, the Japanese tend to be a little conservative when it comes to physical contact or displaying affection in public.

Friends don’t usually kiss or hug when meeting, and shaking hands is not so common. Things tend to loosen up after drinking and singing karaoke with your friends and colleagues. However, at first, being low-key is the thing when meeting new people.

Incorrect chopstick etiquette

Here are some chopstick etiquette dos and don’ts:

1. Do place your chopstick on the chopstick rest when you are not eating.
2. Do use your chopsticks as much as possible and avoid using your fingers.
3. Don’t fiddle or play with your chopsticks.
4. Don’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick (this gesture is reminiscent of a traditional Buddhist funeral, when the bones of the deceased are passed between ceremonial chopsticks of the family members).
5. Don’t stick your chopsticks vertically in your rice (again, this reminds people of burning incense for the deceased).

Not separating your trash properly

If there is one thing that raises the blood pressure of your poor suffering neighbors the most, it is (gasp!) not separating your trash correctly. In Japan, there are very specific and strict rules about this. Failure to comply might result in passive-aggressive notes left on your front door, or your trash being returned to your doorstep. Plastics, burnable and non-burnable trash have to be properly sorted, inserted into the right garbage cans, and thrown out on the right day. Your apartment building will usually distribute information on how to sort and throw out your trash. It is advisable to read and remember this to avoid problems with your neighbors.

This is, of course, not an exhaustive etiquette list for Japan. There are plenty of other etiquette points, such as being punctual, never making excuses, and not pouring your own beer at a party. However, as with anywhere you travel, a little awareness, common sense and decency toward your fellow human beings are key.

If you do happen to put your foot in your mouth, then check out our next article, which will teach you how to apologize in Japanese (perhaps the single most important social skill in Japan). Good luck! — Asuka Naito, Savvy Tokyo, 2021

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japanese Chopstick “Don’ts”

According to an article on Mashable, “Western foods,” like a breakfast of bacon and eggs, are eaten with a knife and fork, but, “In Japanese culture, chopsticks are more than utensils; they can be works of art.  It is common for families to have sets made of abalone or painted gold. Painted sets, which may include designs like cranes or cherry blossoms, are usually sealed with lacquer.”

Chopstick Etiquette

🥢 Saguri-bashi
To look for contents in a soup with chopsticks

🥢 Mayoi-bashi
To wander chopsticks over several foods without decision

🥢 Sashi-bashi
To pick up food by stabbing it

🥢 Neburi-bashi
To lick the tips of the chopsticks

🥢 Yose-bashi
To pull plate or bowl around with chopsticks

🥢 Hotoke-bashi
To stand chopsticks up in rice

🥢 Kaki-bashi
To shovel food into one’s mouth attached to plate or bowl

🥢 Nigiri-bashi
To hold two sticks together as one would grasp a knife to attack

🥢 Hashi-watashi
To pass food to another person, from chopsticks to chopsticks

🥢 Namida-bashi
To drip the sauce from the food or from the chopsticks

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japanese Chopstick Etiquette

Japanese chopsticks can vary in shape but are shorter and lighter weight than the Chinese version. Those for everyday use are made of woods such as bamboo, pine, cypress and white birch. Chopsticks for more formal use are often slightly longer and made of cedar, ivory or lacquered wood inlaid with abalone or mother-of-pearl.

The Etiquette of Using Chopsticks

Question: I’ve been invited to dinner at a Japanese restaurant and would like to know the traditional customs governing chopstick etiquette.

Answer: The Japanese custom of eating with chopsticks, hashi, was adopted from China almost 2,000 years ago, according to Susan Fuller Slack, author of “Japanese Cooking.” She goes on to explain that chopstick and table etiquette were developed by court aristocracy and Buddhist clergy between the 12th and 15th centuries. Later, during the Edo period (1603-1868), these customs became popular throughout the country.

Japanese chopsticks can vary in shape but are shorter and lighter weight than the Chinese version. Those for everyday use are made of woods such as bamboo, pine, cypress and white birch. Chopsticks for more formal use are often slightly longer and made of cedar, ivory or lacquered wood inlaid with abalone or mother-of-pearl.

Traditional customs still followed today include:

• At the beginning of the meal, chopsticks are picked up with one hand, then transferred to the other for eating.
• Ends of chopsticks are moistened before use by dipping them into soup or hot tea.
• The clean, unused ends are used for taking food from a communal serving dish unless a pair of serving chopsticks is provided for everyone’s use.
• When not in use, the ends of chopsticks should be placed on special chopstick rests, hashi-oki, pointing toward the left. Do not lean chopsticks against a food dish.
• Chopsticks should not be scraped together to remove pieces of food.
• Do not point with chopsticks.
• Never pass food from person to person with chopsticks.
• Do not permit chopsticks to stand upright in dishes of food.

 By Joan Drake, Times Staff Writer, 1986

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Simplest Are Most Widely Used

Historians believe the use of chopsticks began because of the way Chinese food is prepared. Generally meats and vegetables are cut into small pieces before being served which eliminates the need for a knife at the dinner table. Usually about eight inches long, chopsticks are normally made of wood or bamboo, although modern ones may be made of plastic. More elaborate pairs are made of enameled wood, ivory or bone, and have even been known to be made out of gold, brass and silver.

Chopsticks Came First

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K’uai-tzu are the most widely used eating utensils in world

To those unfamiliar with Oriental terms, k'uai-tzu might sound like the name of a new martial art or next season's replacement for television’s, “Kung Fu.” But it is actually the name of the second most popular eating utensil in the United States, and by a wide margin, the most widely used eating utensil in the world. K'uai-tzu (pronounced kwi-zu), or chopsticks, were used in China in the fourth century 8.C., long before Europeans stopped eating with their hands. “Today, chopsticks remain the most popular eating utensil in China, Japan, Korea, Vietnam and other East Asian countries influenced by Chinese culture,” says Chun King consultant Ms. Anne Byrd. “Here in the United Stales, they rank behind the knife and fork in eating utensil popularity.” 

Historians believe the use of chopsticks began because of the way Chinese food is prepared. Generally meats and vegetables are cut into small pieces before being served which eliminates the need for a knife at the dinner table. Usually about eight inches long, chopsticks are normally made of wood or bamboo, although modern ones may be made of plastic. More elaborate pairs are made of enameled wood, ivory or bone, and have even been known to be made out of gold, brass and silver. “Through centuries of use, chopsticks have also been associated with many superstitions or practices,” Ms. Byrd points out.

Chopsticks have been used as gift items between friends sometimes decorated with inscribed poetry or painted with good luck designs. A gift of chopsticks to newlyweds suggests a wish that the couple will quickly have children. “Also, it is still common for a pair of chopsticks to be placed upright in the bowl of rice offered at a memorial service for the dead,” adds Ms. Byrd. “The chopsticks thus mark the sacredness of the offered rice, and also are a sign to prevent the coming of evil spirits to disturb the peace of the dead.” 

The word “chop” is derived from k'uai, which means “quick” or “speedy,” but many people experience just the opposite when they use them. But mastering the Oriental art of chopsticks is not difficult, as some believe. All it takes is practice. Beginners can learn to best maneuver chopsticks by starting with frozen egg rolls, heated crisp and savory. After a little practice, separate items such as chow mein noddles or Oriental dinners can be tried. – Desert Sun, 1979

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chopstick or Hashi Etiquette

The following set of instructions is supplied by an expert in the field. He’s the proprietor of a popular Chinese restaurant in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Since Chinese chopsticks are a bit more difficult to use, are bigger, and have a lacquered surface, if you can master them, the Japanese throwaway type you will find in most of Little Tokyo should be simple for you to manage. 

How do you identify an amateur chopstick or hashi user in a Little Tokyo restaurant? His head keeps moving closer to the plate. All Caucasians seem to think that handling these wooden sticks is as easy as signing their names on credit cards. In actuality, it calls for a bit of skill. So today, for the benefit of you readers who must stab your food with your chopsticks in order not to go hungry for lack of proper skill, we are going to give you a free lesson in etiquette. 

The following set of instructions is supplied by an expert in the field. He’s the proprietor of a popular Chinese restaurant in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Since Chinese chopsticks are a bit more difficult to use, are bigger, and have a lacquered surface, if you can master them, the Japanese throwaway type you will find in most of Little Tokyo should be simple for you to manage. According to our expert, here is the proper technique in numerical order: 

1. Put one chopstick at right angle to right hand, nesting it in crotch of thumb.
2. Put third finger right, hand against it. This stick never moves.
3. Take up second chopstick in right hand the way you hold a pencil.  
4. Ready? Set? Manipulate!

The traditional test is whether or not you can pick up a raw quail’s egg from a bowl of soup. A more practical test, however, is whether or not you eat. Since the Chinese are close neighbors to us here in Los Angele’s Little Tokyo (Los Angeles’ Chinatown is only a few blocks north) here are a few other items concerning the Chinese and chopsticks you may find interesting:

• During a time of mourning, for example, chopsticks are taboo. The prestige of the diseased rises in proportion to the number of mourners who eat with their fingers.  

• Laying chopsticks across your bowl is an indication that you are through eating. If you go to Chinatown, beware. Don’t rest until you finish.  

• Also, any number of secret messages can be sent with chopsticks such as, “Family Hold Back,” “pass the egg foo yung” or “you spilled some mustard on your coat.” – Shin Nichibei, 1964

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japanese Table Etiquette

Japanese food is usually cut up conveniently for eating, so a knife is not necessary. 

Photo source, Tumblr

On the whole, this is the same as for foreign meals, but the following points should be noted...

• 1) When various dishes appear together, for example miso-soup, clear soup, chawanmushi (steamed egg and fish or meat), the hot things should be partaken of first. 
• 2) The lids of bowls containing hot things are somewhat difficult to remove, owing to the steam inside, so the bowl must be held firmly, and then the lid may be easily taken off, and put upside down on the table. 
• 3) Japanese food is usually cut up conveniently for eating, so a knife is not necessary. 
• 4) Chopsticks—One of the two chopsticks is held between the first and second fingers, and moved, the other chopstick is held between the thumb and third finger. 
• 5) The vessel is taken up in the right hand, placed in the palm of the left, and the food is eaten with the right hand holding the chopsticks. 
• 6) When the meal is over, all lids must be replaced. 
• 7) When chopsticks are taken from an envelope, they should be put back in it after use. 
• 8) When no more wine is desired, the cup should be placed on the stand upside down. –Shin Nichibei, 1954 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Thai Diplomacy, Japanese Etiquette

In many ways, Thai and Japanese societies are similar, with sophisticated rules of etiquette and many shared cultural affinities...

In 2014, the Thai embassy released a "do’s and don’ts" list for Thai tourists when visiting Japan — Here is the list below:

BANGKOK – The Thai Embassy in Japan has some tips for Thai visitors: Don’t put your chopsticks in the serving bowl. If driving, stop for pedestrians at crosswalks. And just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can cut ahead in line.

The advice is part of an online manners guide the embassy posted on its Facebook page in response to criticism on social media about the behavior of Thai tourists in Japan. Most of the criticism came from Thai residents in Japan who reported sightings of “inappropriate” behavior on a popular Thai web forum, which inspired the embassy’s consular chief to pen the list of "10 do’s and don’ts."

“Japanese society is very unique. It is a society with strict rules that are not always obvious to visitors,” said Jessada Nanthachaiporn, the embassy’s first secretary. He said he intended the list as an educational tool, not as criticism of either culture.

Written in Thai, the code of conduct begins with escalator etiquette: Stand on the left, or walk on the right — except in the Kansai region, where the opposite applies.

There is separate elevator advice: The first person in holds the open button for others and should be the last person to leave.

In many ways, Thai and Japanese societies are similar, with sophisticated rules of etiquette and many shared cultural affinities, Jessada said. From a young age, Thais are taught the concept of “marayat” — or “good manners” — and values like humility and respect for elders, which are similar in Japan. But the same rules do not always apply.

His list offers advice on mobile phone use in buses and trains (“turn the ringer to silent”) and shopping: “Do not interrupt salespeople who are helping other customers.”

In Thailand, drivers often ignore crosswalks and zoom past pedestrians trying to cross. But in Japan, “Drivers must stop at zebra crossings and wait for people to cross the road, without honking the horn.”

Thais tend to eat family-style, sharing dishes, often without serving spoons. In Japan: “Do not use your chopsticks to pick up food for other people.”

Rather than take offense, Thais have applauded the list. The Facebook post has been shared and liked more than 1,300 times since it was posted last week. Commentators on Thai blogs have expressed admiration for Japanese customs, suggesting that if Thais adopted similar manners at home, the country would be seen as more developed. — Japan Times, 2014

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Sushi Bars

When kids and teens find fun at the table, they take to dining etiquette more easily ~ A Panda Shaped, DIY, Bento Sushi Maker Rice Ball Onigiri Mold Mould with Nori Punch found on Ebay 

If you are serious about your sushi, always sit at the sushi bar. Make eye-contact with the itamae or head sushi chef. He is traditionally the one closest to the sushi bar's entrance. If that is not doable, make eye-contact with the junior chef nearest to you. Always remember to ask, "What’s fresh?" This shows you’re serious about your dining experience at the sushi bar and you are more likely to get the freshest fish in the house.

Eat in order. Appreciating sushi means detecting the subtle flavors of the food, noting the texture and the temperature. Start with sashimi, then sushi with rice, then miso soup. The pickled ginger should only be eaten as a palate cleanser. Do this between bites. 

Use your chopsticks if you are eating sashimi. If eating rice topped with fish (nigiri sushi), or sushi rolls, it is proper etiquette to use your hands and not your chopsticks. The loosely packed rice will fall apart if pinched, especially with well-made sushi.

"While there really are no absolute requirements, other than general politeness, there are certain behaviors that may make your dining experience more pleasant, and the staff more attentive and interested in you." - From Sushifaq.com

Nigiri sushi already contains a bit of wasabi between the fish and the rice. It reflects what the sushi chef feels is the proper balance of wasabi to fish, and he will appreciate your enjoyment of that balance. For eating sashimi, mixing a small bit of wasabi into your soy sauce is allowable.


Your fish is already on dry land, so please don’t drown your sushi. Some people immediately dump a lot of salt onto their food, which drives foodies, chefs and sushi fans just nuts! A person who promptly dunks into the soy sauce is considered the equivalent. A little sauce is fine, however, please just don’t dip into it with the sushi rice-side first, otherwise it will crumble and fall apart. Instead, try flipping the piece over and letting the fish lightly touch the sauce.


Sashimi, nigiri sushi, and maki rolls should be consumed all in one bite if possible. This is much easier done in Japan than in the super-size-me U.S.A. In Japan, slices of fish and rolls tend to be much smaller. If you are eating your sushi or roll in more than two bites, you need to master a more elegant style of dining.

Japanese Etiquette, Customs and Manners

Bowing, bathing, greeting, eating, and all manners of established codes of conduct... 

Have you ever tried to shake hands with a Japanese only to be bowed at instead? Or have you suffered disdainful looks when you blew your nose in public, or dunked your towel in a hot springs bath, unaware you are breaking social codes? 

Japan’s many rules of etiquette may bemuse foreign visitors, while for long-term residents mastering them is a key part of embracing the culture. So what constitutes Japanese etiquette, and how do foreign residents and experts view such manners? Following are questions and answers: 

What is included in everyday etiquette? 

Posted notices and warnings against various perceived antisocial behavior are commonplace. People riding trains are advised not to take up more than one seat and are urged to refrain from talking on a cell phone or playing loud music. 

Most “onsen” (hot springs baths) ban swimsuits, advise guests to rinse themselves off before entering the bath and in cases of mixed bathing not to stare or flash oneself in front of others. But many basic social codes provide no posted directions, requiring foreigners to learn by observation and that old standby, trial and error. 

Don't do this shown above ~ If you are supplied with chopstick rests, use them instead of resting them on your bowl or other food dish. "Chopstick rests" are little ceramic objects that you rest the ends of your chopsticks on when you put them down. Also, don’t let liquids drip from your chopsticks. It can soil the table.

Put your chopsticks on the rest provided ~ If you're invited to a formal multicourse Japanese feast, remember not to stir your food with your chopsticks. It's considered an insult to the chef, or the cook, unless you're eating natto gohan (fermented soybeans on rice with a "powerful smell and slimy consistency") that is a Japanese breakfast staple.

The handling of chopsticks can be a minefield of faux pas. A guide put out by JAL Academy, a firm created by Japan Airlines to coach businesses on etiquette, directs users to first “hold the chopsticks horizontally and pull the chopsticks apart slowly, over your knees.” The book “Japanese Manners Read in English” advises never to use a chopstick to impale a food item, pass it from chopsticks to chopsticks or stick chopsticks into food in a bowl so the ends are pointing up. The latter is associated with the dead and food for the final journey. Licking one’s chopsticks is also taboo, as is waving them over food while deciding what to eat, or around while talking, the guide says. 

Bowing is also a key practice, and the degree of bending depends on the occasion. According to JAL Academy, a 45-degree bow is customary when meeting someone deemed to be superior, or to show gratitude or to apologize. A 30-degree bow is appropriate for greeting visitors or first-time acquaintances, while a 15-degree dip will suffice for a casual hello in the hallway, the book says. 

Other advice found in the guide includes keeping conversations short during initial greetings and, when visiting someone’s home, refraining from poking around in cupboards, bookcases and other personal areas — the latter taboos not being so uniquely Japanese. 

What constitutes formal etiquette? 

In addition to social codes of behavior for formal dinners and religious ceremonies, there is the practice by adults of gift-giving, which many in Japan actually consider a headache. 

"Gift-giving is extremely important in Japanese society, not only at personal and household levels, but at the national and macroeconomic levels as well." ~ Katherine Rupp.  Pictured: Boston Red Sox pitchers Koji Uehara (second from left) and Junichi Tazawa present a Boston Red Sox jersey to U.S. Ambassador to Japan, Caroline Kennedy

Gourmet food, sweets or alcohol may be given to relatives and colleagues at the turning of seasons and on special occasions. There are informal guidelines on how much money to spend on initial offerings based on the importance of the recipient, and then on return gifts. Gift-giving is not always simply a gesture of gratitude or thoughtfulness, as it can have parallels with bribery, according to Katherine Rupp, a lecturer in anthropology at Yale University. “Not only do individual Japanese people spend a lot of time, worry and money on gift-giving, but gift-giving is also a crucial part of the overall workings of the macro-economy,” she writes in “Gift-giving in Japan.” Rupp points to the subtle undertones that personal gifts to bosses or doctors, or presents given by industries to bureaucrats or politicians, may have in persuading the recipient to act to the giver’s advantage. 

How would social codes be characterized?

Like other countries, Japan’s social codes “lie somewhere between conscience or self-expression and the law,” according to Isao Kumakura, a professor emeritus at the research institute of the National Museum of Ethnology in Osaka. “Even if you are alone, there is a feeling that somewhere someone might be watching,” and this feeling is particularly strong in Japanese, he writes in “Manners as Culture” (“Bunka to Shite no Manaa”). 

According to Kumakura, Japanese etiquette has roots in the rituals of tea ceremony and martial and creative arts, although such customs were exclusive to the upper class until Japan opened its doors to the West in the mid-19th century. 

To appear sophisticated in Western eyes, commercial centers like Tokyo, Yokohama and Osaka established regional laws that imposed codes of conduct between samurai and commoners, he writes. These laws prevented men from urinating in public, and workers from walking naked to public baths carrying a change of clothes, a common habit as they did not want to change while they were still dirty from the day’s work, Kumakura explains. In modern times, instruction manuals on manners tend to focus on business situations rather than the home or society. 

How do foreign residents and experts view Japanese manners? 

Helmut Morsbach, an adjunct professor of psychology at Temple University Japan Campus and a long-term resident, writes in his book “Customs & Etiquette of Japan” that many Japanese drastically change their attitudes once they are outside their comfort zone. Such a strict adherence to social codes may indicate that, as Morsbach says, “traditional etiquette continues to be extremely important, despite whatever outward appearances of ‘Westernization’ the visitor may experience.” 

But Ronald Dore, a professor at the London School of Economics specializing in Japanese society, stresses that foreigners should not feel compelled to master Japanese etiquette, only demonstrate an attempt at it in a relaxed, open manner. “It is a perfectly viable strategy to profess a combination of total ignorance of Japanese manners and a total willingness to be instructed, and sometimes it can even be the best strategy,” rather than becoming anxious and creating tension, he says in the foreword to Morsbach’s book. 

For business settings, a common scenario for foreign visitors, Morsbach’s tips include don’t make eye contact too strong during a conversation, don’t point with a finger and don’t mistake a smile camouflaging hesitation to mean an agreement. 

Does everyone adhere to these codes? 

No, says columnist Takashi Matsuo, who insists many Japanese find such strict rules stifling. “Although it’s a country that values manners, many Japanese themselves in fact feel a kind of stiffness, and perhaps (Morsbach) isn’t aware that there are many people who want to forget such social rules and interact with people in a frank and open way,” he writes in a commentary inside Morsbach’s book. 

But some observers see an antisocial side to this relaxed mind-set, and claim anonymity in large cities and online is making people less concerned about appearing rude. “Modern Japan has been eliminating society from around them,” Kumakura says. “The fun of anonymity and the fear of losing manners are in conflict with each other. Now this has become a daily norm, and with the rise of the Internet, we ignore manners because of anonymity and abuse our rights.” 

The main article originally appeared in Japan Times, by Mariko Kato, in January, 2010 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chopstick History and Etiquette

"You do not sew with a fork, and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles." — Miss Piggy

Chopstick History and Etiquette

"The ultimately restricted, and therefore it may be thought, the ultimately delicate, manner of eating with one's hands is to use the thumb and two fingers of the right hand, only the tips of these ideally being allowed to touch the food. This gesture, we find even more by artificially elongating the fingers and further reducing their number, is of course the origin of chopsticks. Once people became accustomed to fingers remaining clean throughout the meal, napkins used for serious cleansing seemed not only redundant but downright nasty."

Chopsticks have been used in Japan for thousands of years. Also known as "hashi," or "otemoto" in fancier restaurants, Japanese chopsticks reflect the highly artistic culture of the islands. Originally, they were used strictly for religious ceremonies, but soon they were used for casual eating as well. Because of this history, the Japanese tend to be a little more strict about the proper use of chopsticks than the Chinese. At first they were fashioned like tweezers - a single piece of bamboo connected at one end. This connection is how they got the name "hashi" meaning "bridge." By the 10th century AD, they were being made regularly as two separate pieces and used in pairs, as they are today. In the 17th centrury AD, they began to lacquer the wooden chopsticks to make them more durable. This allowed them to become the beautiful Japanese icons that they are today. The ornate designs make them some of the most attractive and unique chopsticks in the world. The hard lacquer finish is not only attractive, but highly functional. It waterproofs them and makes them easier to clean. Japanese chopsticks are shorter than most chopsticks. Adult chopsticks in Japan are typically 7-9 inches long (20-23cm), are typically rounded, and tapered to a point.

Information from www.thechopstickstore.com 

"Father João Rodrigues observed in the 17th century that the Japanese were "much amazed at our eating with the hands and wiping them on napkins, which then remain covered with food stains, and this causes them both nausea and disgust." Napkins laid on knees are still an " ethnic," western affectation in China and Japan. There is, however, a tradition of supplying diners several times during the meal with small rough towels wrung out in boiling water, for hand and face wiping.

Chopsticks seem to have evolved in the East specifically for use with rice: The staple grain in China was originally millet, which the Li Chi insists must be eaten with a spoon, not with chopsticks like rice. Chinese rice is not loose and dry like that chosen by Indians, Arabs, and Africans, who prefer eating it with their hands, but sticky and slightly moist even without sauce; it is easily handled with chopsticks. The earliest word for chopsticks seems to have been Zi, related to the root meaning, "help". This is pronounced, however, like the word for "stop", or "becalm" used of boats. Chinese boatman are said to have renamed them kuai – zi, which sounds like "fast fellows", because Chinese think of chopsticks as swift and agile, the very opposite of halting and being becalmed. This is now their Chinese name; "chopsticks" is of course a western barbarism. In Japanese, chopsticks are called hashi, "bridge", because they effect the transition from bowl to mouth.

Chopsticks are thought of as fast, then, and helpful. Meals in China often surprise visitors by the speed with which they are eaten; chopsticks enable the Chinese and Japanese to eat food which is sizzling hot, but because is often served in small pieces it gets cold if people dawdle. Chopstick users remain more likely than we are to use their hands as aids in eating but it is not at all advisable to get them greasy: chopsticks, and especially the lacquered chopsticks common in Japan and Korea, are extremely difficult to manage with slippery fingers. Porcelain spoons are used for soups and the more liquid dishes; children are allowed to use spoons for everything until they are about three or four years old, when chopstick training begins."
     

Chinese chopsticks are the longest of all chopsticks. This is probably because they were originally used for cooking, and adapted for eating as the food began to be cooked in bite size pieces. Chinese chopsticks are not tapered. They are square at the base and round at the tip, symbolizing the infinite God in heaven feeding the man, bound by four seasons, on earth. Because they are thicker at the tip, chinese chopsticks are great for tearing meat and pushing rice from a bowl into the mouth. Contrary to popular belief, the Chinese do not use chopsticks to pick up pieces of rice in a conventional manner. They lift the bowl to their mouths and use the chopsticks to push the rice in, and the wider chopsticks are well suited to this method. Information from www.thechopstickstore.com 

"Chinese tables are round or square rather than oval or oblong: diners sit equidistant from the dishes of cài (meat, fish, and vegetables), all set out in one "course", in the middle. Each diner gets a small bowl for fán, literally, "food", meaning rice. The rice is the substance of the meal; the cài is merely relish, unless the occasion is a banquet. The host, or the mother, doles out the rice into the bowls. Each guest must take the filled bowl in two hands: receiving in one hand shows disrespectful indifference. You never eat cài before being served rice, because that looks as though you are so greedy and selfish that you would be prepared to eat nothing but meat and vegetables, which are the expensive part of the meal, centrally placed in order to be shared with others.

When the host gives the sign, you may begin to take the cài with your chopsticks. The gestures used by Chinese, Japanese, and others to do this are fascinating for Westerners. They look accomplished. Delicate, precise, and gentle-- much more polished that our own behavior at meals. Roland Barthes in "The Empire of Signs" speaks of eulogies on the Japanese manipulation of chopsticks: "There is something maternal, the same precisely measured care taken in moving a child... the instrument never pierces, cuts, or slips, never wounds but only selects, turns, shifts. For the chopsticks... In order to divide, must separate, part, peck, instead of cutting and piercing, in the manner of our implements; they never violate the food stuff; either they gradually unravel it (in the case of vegetables) or else prod it into separate pieces (in the case of fish, eels) thereby rediscovering the natural fissures of the substance." A Westerner feels like a brute butcher before this Oriental delicacy. Barthe says that we are "armed with pikes and knives "like predators rather than gentle mothers, our food, " a prey to which one does violence."

“Man who catch fly with chopstick, capable of anything.” ― Mr. Miyagi, in The Karate Kid 
B.Y. Chao tells us that the Chinese are aware in themselves of a sequence of commands: "Await, avoid, attack!" You must pause, think of others, consider which piece you want, then zero in on it. You may have to stretch across the path of another's chopsticks – though Chinese, too, try to restrict themselves to taking from the side of the dish more or less facing them; fellow diners cooperate with each other and are not greatly offended by another's "attack." You should never looked too intent on obtaining a particular morsel, however. Chinese children are taught that "the best mannered person does not allow co-diners to be aware of what his or her favorite dishes are by his or her eating pattern."

“Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.” — Helen Rowland

"It is politer to transfer food first to your rice bowl, and eat it from there, then to take it directly from the cài dish to your mouth. Chopsticks must never be licked or bitten. Japanese bad manners include neburi-bashi: licking chopsticks with the tongue; mogi-kui: using your mouth to remove rice sticking to your chopsticks; komi-bashi: forcing several things in your mouth with your chopsticks; utsuri-bashi: one must not break the rule that a mouthful of rice is to be taken between every two bites of meat, fish, or vegetables; saguri-bashi: searching with chopsticks to see if anything you want remains in the dish; hashi-namari: hesitation whether to take one thing rather than another; and sora-hashi: putting back with the chopsticks food you intended to eat.

Mannerly diners with chopsticks never "fish about" for morsels; they must take the bit they touch first. This means that one begins by eyeing one's target carefully: if you prod it, you must take and eat it. Using chopsticks need in no way mean that people eat food touched by implements which have been in other people's mouths. Yet a very western distaste for even the thought of touching the food of all with utensils of each has spread. In 1984, Hu Yaobang, the former Communist Party Secretary, criticized the traditional Chinese way of eating and urged change on sanitary grounds. A good deal of such concern must in fact be a desire to participate in Western  prestige as being somehow more in ineffably "modern." The admiration of people like Roland Barthe 's for superior Oriental wisdom seems to be less satisfying than the allure of technological hygiene and "modern "mental instruments. A compromise with "modernity" is the Japanese pre-wrapped disposable set of wooden chopsticks.

Korean chopsticks are traditionally flat and made of metal, though the Koreans are beginning to use round chopsticks as well. In Korea, chopsticks are called jeokkarak (젓가락). In length, Chinese chopsticks tend to be the longest, and Japanese chopsticks are often the shortest, with Korean chopsticks falling somewhere in-between. So why are Korean chopsticks made of metal? One explanation is that in ancient times pure silver chopsticks were used by the king because the silver would change color if the king’s food had been poisoned. Then the commoners, wanting to emulate royalty, began to use metal chopsticks as well. One may argue that metal chopsticks are more practical and sanitary since they can be easily washed and used again. Another could maintain that since Koreans mostly use a spoon to eat their rice, they can use the more slippery chopsticks to eat their other dishes. It is true that it is significantly harder to eat rice and noodles with metal chopsticks. Whatever the explanation, metal chopsticks are uniquely Korean.

Information from www.thechopstickstore.com 

"Chopstick users remain more likely than we are to use their hands as aids in eating but it is not at all advisable to get them greasy: chopsticks, and especially the lacquered chopsticks common in Japan and Korea, are extremely difficult to manage with slippery fingers. Porcelain spoons are used for soups and the more liquid dishes; children are allowed to use spoons for everything until they are about three or four years old, when chopstick training begins.

The problem that Westerners experience is often the result of attempts to eat rice with chopsticks from flat plates: the small bowl raised towards a face is far easier to manage with the proper zest. Chinese themselves, given food on a  flat plate, prefer to use a porcelain spoon (to stand in for its sister, the bowl). This spoon, like a bowl, has a flat bottom, so they can be laid down without spilling the contents.

 The kind of food we ourselves eat, together with the way we cook and serve it, predisposes us to use knives, forks, and spoons, and our idea of what constitutes "place setting "also influences our food choices. Oriental food is cut up in the kitchen so they can be eaten with chopsticks – but also, as Barthe points out, chopsticks came into being because each mouthful is regarded as comestable partly because it is small; being confronted with a large slab meet on the dish can be a disgusting experience for people from rice – and – chopstick cultures. In addition, rice – growing is a land use which reduces the amount of fuel available, so that meat and vegetables must usually be cooked quickly to save wood. Cutting them up small facilitates stir-frying and other quick-cooking methods.

But unfortunately there is an ecological price to pay for this, as hundreds of millions of trees are chopped down every year to supply throwaway chopstick wood– in 1987, 20 billion chopsticks were used and discarded in Japan alone.  It has never been acceptable to return bitten morsels of meat, vegetables, or fish to the common dish; but because the bowl of rice is "private territory, "a piece of meat or vegetable maybe held in chopsticks and bitten, and the rest put down on the rice in the bowl, to be finished later. One must never, in Japan, stick the chopsticks up right in the rice. This is done only when offerings are made by Buddhist mourners for their dead: standing chopsticks are rather like our own taboos about an empty chair at the table.

The kind of food we ourselves eat, together with the way we cook and serve it, predisposes us to use knives, forks, and spoons, and our idea of what constitutes "place setting "also influences our food choices.

With perfect propriety one lifts the small china bowl in the left-hand and sweeps the contents into the mouth with precise, busy movements of the two sticks together, held in the right. Barthe's delicate gestures suddenly become swift and purely efficient; the bowl held under the chopsticks is moved dexterously about so as to prevent food spills. We ourselves are surprised to see this done because we are never allowed to lift dishes containing solid food – and we count soup, unless it is in a cup, as "solid food"-- to our lips; we gave up doing this and when we agreed that formal politeness involves using our cutlery.

The Chinese may be thought of as treating the little bowl like a cross between a teacup any large spoon, with the chopsticks as "helpers. "Table manners always impose difficult restraints: "if you rattle your chopsticks against the bowl," says the Chinese proverb, "you and your descendants will always be poor." Whatever happens, however, at an ordinary meal every single grain of rice in one's bowl must be eaten before dinner is over. Leaving rice is a disgusting behavior, because it shows a lack of knowledge of one's own appetite in the first place, together with greed for meat and vegetables, and no respect for rice – its culture, its history, and the hard work that has been involved in getting it to the table.

Rice is never to be gripped, lifted, and eaten grain by grain, as Western novices in the art of chopstick-handling find themselves doing with so much frustration and so many complaints. "Picking "at one's food is very rude, in fact, for Oriental manners, more than our own, demand demonstrations of delight and pleasure in eating, and inept fiddling with one's chopsticks is apt to be interpreted not merely as a want of competence but as a depressing unwillingness as well." – Margaret Visser, The Rituals of Dinner

Compiled and submitted by the late- Demita Usher of Social Graces and Savoir Faire

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia