Art and Etiquette of Afternoon Tea

Finally, on the top part of the stand, the third tier, small pastries are served, also typically English, which bring this moment of conviviality to a close.

The British Afternoon Tea Ceremony

Around the world, the ritual of tea is known as one of the most cherished and meaningful moments to enjoy a good infusion, alone or in company. It is well known that this precious beverage spread from China to all of Europe precisely from Great Britain, becoming a fundamental part of English life. However, not everyone knows that there are very specific rules that should be followed.

First of all, you need to choose a good loose-leaf tea and steep it in boiling water — depending on the type of infusion chosen — for three to six minutes. For each guest, the teapot should contain one teaspoon of loose-leaf tea, plus one extra “for the pot.” Separately, of course, there will be the sugar bowl and milk jug. And what about lemon? The English almost never use lemon, substituting it with milk. Do you know why? Not for a reason that’s fundamentally about taste, but for a logistical one to solve a serious problem: at one time, English teacups couldn’t withstand the heat of the tea and would break. To get around this problem, the English started putting the milk in the cup first to cool down the hot tea that would be poured in right after. 

Naturally, after 1700, with the founding of historic companies like Wedgwood, Spode, Minton, etc…, the materials used were able to keep cups from cracking under heat thanks to the use of kaolin, effectively leading to the birth of porcelain and bone china. Afternoon tea, thanks to Anna Maria Russell, Duchess of Bedford, people began to accompany the drink with both sweet and savory bites. It’s no coincidence that a three-tiered plate is served with very specific foods: on the first tier, the lowest one, sandwiches made with white and brown bread are served, filled with chicken, eggs, salmon, etc…

On the second tier, buns sometimes studded with raisins called scones are served; they are split in half by hand, never with a knife, and filled with clotted cream and strawberry jam. In reality, there’s a historic dispute between Devonshire, which says you should put the clotted cream on first and then the jam, and Cornish, which says you should spread the jam first and then the clotted cream. The latter is a sort of butter-cream similar to mascarpone that is really hard to find in many countries.

Above, a patent for a gilded age “Sandwich Plate” by Haviland. The “sandwich set” with plate and cup has a very wide saucer to hold biscuits, scones, finger sandwiches or pastries.

Finally, on the top part of the stand, the third tier, small pastries are served, also typically English, which bring this moment of conviviality to a close. Many hotels around the world recreate this ritual, adding the option to serve Prosecco or champagne. The most interesting thing, though, is seeing what tools have been invented to fill the table with dishware and surprise the guests. Among the cups, for example, there’s the “mustache cup,” which has ceramic or porcelain ledges to keep mustaches from getting dirty, or the “luncheon set” or “sandwich set,” which have a very wide saucer to hold biscuits, scones, finger sandwiches or pastries. 

Other interesting items are new utensils like the lemon fork with spread out or “splayed” tines for picking up lemon slices, the jam spoon with a chiseled edge, the bird-shaped lemon squeezer, the sugar cube tongs, and strainers of various shapes and materials. In short, it’s a ritual that becomes an experience and can be compared to the beauty of the Japanese, Chinese, French, New Zealand, or Italian tea ceremony.

Other interesting items are new utensils like the lemon fork with spread out or “splayed” tines for picking up lemon slices, the jam spoon with a chiseled edge, the bird-shaped lemon squeezer, the sugar cube tongs, and strainers of various shapes and materials.

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, is a frequent television guest. Very active on Instagram @galateopetra_carsetti, Petra is happily married to well-known wine and food aficionado, journalist and author, Carlo Cambi and together they have one daughter. Her books Galatime and Galatime II are full of etiquette and entertaining advice.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Italian Etiquette with Galatime II

At the same time we can also decorate the table with small and harmonious ceramic objects (see for example in the photos the delight of the small Oriente Italiano egg by Ginori 1735 in periwinkle colour), but we avoid using fish-themed decorations if it is a meat dinner or using too much silver if it’s a rustic lunch. It is also possible to use a centerpiece that includes flowers, fruit or even vegetables; in the evening the combination of candles and flowers is permitted, but is mostly recommended for weddings.

From the new book by contributors, Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi, 

“Galatime ACT II: Life as a stage of elegance”

Many are unaware that candles during the day should not be used, not even for the centerpiece. They are only allowed for evening meals (usually after 8) and must be not too high (for the same principle as the flowers), nor too low not to make the hands and cuffs of the diners hot; the candles will be lit before sitting at the table and turned off when everyone has left, never in the presence of diners.

At the same time we can also decorate the table with small and harmonious ceramic objects (see for example in the photos the delight of the small Oriente Italiano egg by Ginori 1735 in periwinkle colour), but we avoid using fish-themed decorations if it is a meat dinner or using too much silver if it’s a rustic lunch. It is also possible to use a centerpiece that includes flowers, fruit or even vegetables; in the evening the combination of candles and flowers is permitted, but is mostly recommended for weddings.

We think that a beautiful table is the functional one and without ostentation: the furniture of the table with its elements of quality - even if few and not necessarily luxury - are just as important- as many as the quality of the ingredients of a menu! Menu that is key in organizing a successful invitation.

The first reason why it is good to prepare the menu in advance is that among our guests there may be vegetarian, vegan people, with intolerances and allergies or with religious precepts such as to require them to avoid certain foods. Thinking about suitable recipes means first of all having respect for our diners but also then not having problems in the kitchen having to make up for it with a delicious recipe at the last moment. If this were to happen, it would deprive us of the opportunity to be with our guests in serenity and for as long as we want to allow each other.— By Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi, 2023

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, is a frequent television guest and is very active on Instagram @galateopetra_carsetti

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Table “Dressing” Etiquette

“Attention, objects and creativity have developed more and more consistently around everything that substantiates the equipment, but often with completely correct principles and rules. Giving vent to creativity is certainly a plus for welcoming our guests, but the rules of etiquette help us to set the table and furnish the house with harmony, elegance and above all with logic in order to create solid welcoming environments, honest marvelous (let's also think about how many amazing wedding tables you see insistently proposed on social media or in glossy magazines) and at the same time functional.”

From “CHAPTER III – The art of receiving: The table The menu” in the new book by contributor, Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi,“Galatime ACT II: Life as a stage of elegance”

“With this chapter we get to the heart of one of the topics that arouse the most interest and are most sought after in the field of etiquette: the table and the art of receiving.

“Attention, objects and creativity have developed more and more consistently around everything that substantiates the equipment, but often with completely correct principles and rules. Giving vent to creativity is certainly a plus for welcoming our guests, but the rules of etiquette help us to set the table and furnish the house with harmony, elegance and above all with logic in order to create solid welcoming environments, honest marvelous (let's also think about how many amazing wedding tables you see insistently proposed on social media or in glossy magazines) and at the same time functional.

“First of all, the various types of table must be distinguished: from the square one for four with about 80 centimeters on each side or eight with at least 130 centimeters as a side used for intimate lunches or for a few people, to the rectangular one with six seats which usually has a length of 120 centimeters and a width of 70 centimeters; or the rectangular table for ten people with a length of 220 centimeters and a width of at least 80 centimeters: this is the most used; the oval table is not uncommon and very elegant, it respects the dimensions more or less of the rectangular one and is more useful in narrow spaces with more guests. 

“Finally there is the round table with a diameter of at least 110 centimeters for six people and 150 centimeters for eight people; this typology "resets" or thins out hierarchies because it puts everyone on the same level (it is no coincidence that King Arthur is known for his round table and his desire for equality among all knights), but it hides a pitfall because It often happens that the napkins or placemats set overhang the edge and look sloppy!

“It must be kept in mind that each diner must have approximately 60 centimeters of space between their center of the plate and that of the next and approximately 45 centimeters in height; spaces are reduced in buffet lunches and even more so in cocktail invitations.

“When starting to set the table, the first thing to do is place a clip (it must never go down from the sides beyond the tablecloth) to muffle all the noises of the crockery, plates or glasses, as well as to protect the table from the heat of the food, with the green side towards the table and the white side towards the tablecloth.

“A table correctly set with springboard has a completely comforting consistency to the touch: it transmits solidity and comfort at the same time. The sensorial aspect of what is done and what is proposed should never be overlooked. There is a non-verbal language that is just as significant as words. It is no coincidence that etiquette pays so much attention to gestures, spaces, postures and non-verbal etiquette is also an ancient code of behavior and communication.

“The tablecloth must be in natural fabric such as linen, cotton or Flanders and must be in neutral colors such as white, pearl, beige; it must go down beyond the edge of the table for about 30-35 centimetres, but no more because otherwise it would disturb leg movements and could create problems. Only for buffet tables are floor-length tablecloths provided or possibly for very formal events where there are multiple tables set up or horseshoe-shaped equipment and imperial tables.

“Ban runners or placemats (allowed for breakfast or in the family) and above all never overlap them with a tablecloth: it would be a useless duplication! In recent years, "american cutlery" have become widely used, they have become a very fashionable accessory and are set as a substitute for the placemat: for etiquette it is not really advisable and in any case it is recommended at least not to put cutlery on them! Would you place cutlery on a charger? Never! So don't even do it on the placemats set together with the tablecloth.

“Colored or patterned tablecloths are also fashionable, but even if they are adorable, it is best to use them only on more informal occasions such as a joyous arrangement in the garden or possibly at Christmas, a day on which a little more excess is permitted, but it is mandatory that all fabrics are well ironed, without creases so as not to give the impression of neglect.

“The napkin goes to the left, never under the cutlery, but rather more externally (or more to the left) of them. In the ceremony the position above the plate is foreseen and in the etiquette this position is used if for example there is a small gift or a single bouquet of flowers set up or if the space is really limited. It can be folded into four parts and then in half creating a booklet-like rectangle the open part towards the left and the rounded part towards the plate, or in a triangle always with the rounding on the right and although they are very spectacular or fun other types of folds are not at all recommended also because the napkin should be handled as little as possible without using napkin holders.

“A royal curiosity: at the Habsburg court the fantasy with napkins - perhaps on the basis of an oriental suggestion that recalls origami - was considered such a precious art to the point that the only two experts in folding (it is often customary to insert sandwiches between the folds of napkins) never traveled at the same time to avoid the tradition being lost in the event of an accident. These skills can still be understood today by visiting the imperial palace of Hofburg in Vienna where there are still two workers in charge of these delightful practices and where the royal collection of crockery is kept, perhaps the richest in Europe. As we know, the napkin was introduced to the Sforza court by Leonardo Da Vinci who had the task of master of ceremonies, but throughout the Middle Ages up to the Baroque many tablecloths were set, where the diners wiped their hands (alternatively they used the sleeves of clothes), for how many food services were foreseen. With every change of dish, a layer of tablecloth was taken away!” —From Carlo Cambi and Petra Carsetti in “Galatime ACT II: Life as a stage of elegance.” 2023

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, is a frequent television guest and is very active on Instagram @galateopetra_carsetti

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia