Etiquette and Typed Correspondence

While handwritten notes and letters are wonderful to send and receive, even Emily Post sent out personal letters and notes in which the bodies were typed, but signed by her. Perhaps Emily suffered from arthritis in her hands. — Image source, Etiquipedia private library

DEAR ABBY: I know that etiquette demands that ALL personal letters and notes be handwritten, and it is considered very poor manners to use a typewriter on these occasions, but this is my plight: I suffer from arthritis in the fingers of both hands and it is extremely difficult for me to use a pen. I am able, however, to use a typewriter, so I type all my letters and notes. Is it necessary for me to mention in my typewritten notes that I know better, but because of my arthritis I beg to be excused? KNOWS BETTER

 

DEAR KNOWS: I believe that regardless of what the etiquette books say, consideration, convenience and common sense should dictate behavior. I personally appreciate typewritten notes, the propriety of which never enters my head. – Abigail Van Buren, 1967

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

An Etiquette New Year’s Resolution

“All too often written thank you notes are overlooked when they should be second nature to us. Busy schedules and "relaxed" standards are usually blamed. Unfortunately, lack of knowledge and undeveloped social skills to make people feel appreciated is the real culprit. Life for many of us has become so hectic we feel we can cut back on certain things and still acquire or retain the quality of life we want to have. However, a handwritten or even typed (if for professional purposes) note or letter will help retain bonds of friendship, professional ties necessary for profitable businesses, and a reputation for not taking others for granted that can undoubtedly improve the quality of anyone's life.” –Etiquipedia Site Editor and Director of the RSVP Institute, Maura J. Graber, 1991

Resolved: Write Notes of Thanks 

Before the year gets a day older, Christmas thank-you notes ought to be written. But cheer up, the experts say they may be brief.

Take up the quill, they admonish, and try to recapture that pleasurable moment when the tissue paper fell aside to reveal the marble cigarette box, the toaster or the cashmere sweater.

The greatest pleasure of Christmas, to most of us, is viewing someone'’s delight over the gift we have selected. This is the spirit that should govern the thank-you’s to those who could not be there.

The stationery selected for the occasion may be your usual correspondence paper, personals or a card in the form of a personal with “Thank You” *(or other suitable sayings) on the front flap with space inside for a message. Etiquette experts decry the use of a printed card requiring only a signature.

A quick look at the stock available in the shops shows that the strict “thank-you” notes come in many varieties. Colorful lettering, interesting script styles and handsome striped: backgrounds are included.– From The New York Times, 1957

✍️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Bridal Etiquette –‘Thank You’s

“The stemware is truly beautiful. Though we're tempted to hold it back for state occasions, we do use it nightly.”

Be Speedy In Saying Thanks

When it comes to thank you notes, there's a very simple rule of etiquette. It doesn't matter so much how you phrase your note: It's the speed with which you send it off that shows your good manners, as well as your gratitude. If writing the letters looms as a huge task, plan to do just a few at a time. 

Keep your list of gifts and your writing supplies out on the desk, or a bridge table, and use those odd times to do a few notes. Your thanks should be simple and sincere, never pretentious. Try to have the giver feel he can see his gift in your first home. You can use phrases like these: “The bud vases you sent us look lovely on our fireplace mantel.” “We christened the casserole you gave us last night, and the budget beef stew tasted delicious.” “The stemware is truly beautiful. Though we're tempted to hold it back for state occasions, we do use it nightly.” 

These notes may be written on informal notepaper, possibly with your monogram or name engraved on the top sheet. Or simple notepaper of good quality may be used. Keep away from too highly decorated notepaper. It's fine for casual writing, but not for bridal thank yous. – San Bernardino Sun, 1970

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Bridal Etiquette and Thanks

In 1957, Amy Vanderbilt wrote that no one may write notes of thanks for the bride. Wrote Vanderbilt, “It is a social responsibility she alone must fulfill.” But a more modern etiquette has evolved since then, and it is refreshingly common for new spouses to assist one another in writing notes of thanks for wedding gifts they receive. We believe Amy would approve!

Q. “What is the most frequent error that brides make?”

A. People can smile tolerantly and forgive any little mistakes that can easily happen at a wedding or a reception. But the thing they are most often deeply hurt by is the bride’s failure to acknowledge their wedding gifts promptly and properly. It is never correct to send printed cards of thanks for wedding gifts.

Wedding gifts should always be acknowledged with handwritten notes as soon after their receipt as possible, within 3 months at the very outside. They may be short, but they should be sincere, appreciative, and should mention the gift itself, even where literally hundreds of gifts have been received. And no one may write them for the bride. It is a social responsibility she alone must fulfill. –Amy Vanderbilt, 1957 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia