Table Etiquette and Superstition

 

Throughout history, bread at the table has seen many changes: Rolls or slices of bread have been placed directly on tablecloths, snuggled into napkins placed atop each diner’s plate, passed ‘round dining tables in “bread baskets” or in silver bread trays, served in their own bread plates with matching plates for butter, called “butter pats,” and most notably, Queen Victoria popularized having an entire loaf of bread at the table, from which guests could cut off their own slices.

Why is it a curse to place breads or rolls  upside-down at the table?

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of the 21st century, you must have heard it: placing bread upside-down on the table is a curse! Do it, and there will most likely be some people feeling uncomfortable. There is a reason for this discomfort that goes back through a long, tragic history.

During the Middle-Ages in Europe, each city had its own executioner, in charge of executing the justice decision, including the most extreme ones. It was also a time when bread was the main food for the majority of the people. Bakers had a central place in people’s life. Bakers’ shops were visited every day. Nobody wanted to take the bread meant for the executioner and bakers began to place one loaf of bread facing down. This was the loaf which was meant for him. Seeing a loaf of bread in such a position was already synonym of the worst for those common people, and left everyone feeling uneasy.

Another event would make placing a roll or loaf of bread upside-down definitely a terrible faux-pas at a dining table was the French Revolution. In 1793-1794 there took place “La Terreur” during which many people were sentenced to death through the too-famous Guillotine. Before their execution days, they were all kept in jail, in which they were brought every day a jug of water with a portion of bread on top. None of them knew when would be the day of their death, the only clue they would had was this bread: the night before the execution, they would receive their one portion upside-down. It would mean they only have the night to pray for their soul, going through their sins and hoping God would forgive them.

Marie Josèphe Rose Tascher de La Pagerie, wife of the Viscount Alexandre de Beauharnais, was one of them. Later known as “Joséphine de Beauharnais,” which was how her 2nd husband, Napoléon Bonaparte called her, she spent several months in jail, terrified by the bread facing down brought every day to other inmates. She lived every day praying not to receive it, and had to go through the execution of her husband Alexandre on 23rd July 1794, but she was spared and survived.

The 28th July, Maximilien de Robespierre, the man who started “La Terreur”, was arrested. Executions stopped, Joséphine was freed. She eventually married Napoléon Bonaparte, and became Empress. But the sight of a bread upside down was absolutely unbearable for her! At the Imperial court all the servants made sure to place bread properly in her presence, and so did all the restaurants of Paris. As the trend of restaurant went throughout Europe, the custom of considering bread down has a curse was reinforced.

Nowadays, we should remember this is a mere superstition, and we should not forget it is one, but it is still shared by many. Whether you believe in the curse or not, let’s all place the bread facing up, by respects of those who saw their death in it, and also because that’s more beautiful that way to serve breads.

Etiquipedia contributor Guillaume Rué de Bernadac is the President & Founding Director of the luxury etiquette institution, Académie de Bernadac in Shanghai and Paris. He has been featured in Michelin Guide, L’Officiel, Global Times, The Guardian, M6, CNN, etc... Académie de Bernadac

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

For Etiquette Critics of Americans

“Bad manners here in America have been attributed to various causes. First of all, the hurry of the life in which most people live. Often it is a kind of fictitious hurry, but the effect on one's manners is the same.” –1912 

Fashion Arbiter of 

“New York 400” on Criticism of America's Manners and Etiquette 

AMERICANS are said to have bad manners, as a rule. Foreign visitors always make that criticism, and Mr. Townsend Martin was asked if he thought the criticism was just. “Bad manners are not characteristic of American only—though I admit among a certain set they are flourishing at present.” said Mr. Martin. "There is a sort of epidemic of bad manners among the same class all over the world. It seems to be the fashion to have bad manners just now, just as at other periods it was the thing to have the most perfect and exquisite manners possible.”


Like a pendulum the fashion swings between the extremes of bad manners and of the most polished, exquisite courtesy, which we now call the ‘old school,’ showing just where the pendulum is at present. During the time of Charles II of England, bad manners reached their apotheosis, and again after the French Revolution. Whenever manners have become absolutely impossible, the pendulum swings back again and gradually the ideal of what we call good manners and courtesy prevails again. Manners will grow worse before they get better, I think; the pendulum has not swung far enough.


Various Causes 

Bad manners here in America have been attributed to various causes. First of all, the hurry of the life in which most people live. Often it is a kind of fictitious hurry, but the effect on one's manners is the same. There are always a few who belong to the 'old school,’ no matter what the fashion is. Good manners take time and many people feel they haven’t time to spare. At the club I frequently hear the older men complaining of the lack of manners of their own sons and of the younger generation generally. They sometimes attribute it to the prevalence of sports, but personally I think it is only the swinging of the pendulum. When we have reached the extreme of bad manners we'll swing back again, and 'good manners' will become more fashionable.


On the whole, even our worst manners are not so intolerable as the bad manners of other days, when, for instance, etiquette demanded that the host and his guests should drink in excess. There is much less drinking in society nowadays than ever before. Good manners in former times were confined exclusively to the small select aristocratic classes. Their treatment of their social inferiors lacked every element of kindness, politeness or good manners. Yet these people— I'm speaking of the time of Louis XIV of France —were celebrated for their perfection of etiquette and all the forms of manners.


Manners are more uniform today and more democratic and less confined to one class alone. When the pendulum has swung forward, ‘bad’ politeness decreases among all classes of society. That is the condition at present,” Apropos of Mr. Townsend's comments on bad manners is the laxity displayed by greeting acquaintances. Few women know how to bow graciously and yet formally when introductions are made. They give a curt little nod, while the men no longer salute each other, or even women, except in a casual sort of way, as if it were too much of an effort. Perhaps it is the prevailing hurry in which we all live that makes men tip their hats instead of lifting them, and hurry and thoughtlessness are, the cause of most breaches of etiquette which make up the sum of our bad manners.


Thoughtlessness makes the boy forget the cigarette between his lips when speaking to a woman, and in his desire to hasten her steps he catches her under the arm and yanks her off the car, greatly to her own discomfort. On her part she takes out her powder rag and daubs it over her nose, pats her hair, fixes her frock and finishes her toilet in public, probably at the theater, without being conscious that this is in bad form.


A Few More 

“She sits with her knees crossed and assumes attitudes which she has seen on the stage, and if they are not correct for her she does not know it because she has no set standards of etiquette or good form. She is generally not quite sure how to introduce people and passes her mistake off with a cough.


“The formulas of introduction are: Introducing a man to a woman, 'Mrs. or Miss B——. may I introduce Mr. S ?' or, 'I want you to know.' or 'May I present Mr. S ?' A foreign critic has made fun of the fact that every American woman said, 'I'm glad to meet you.' when he was introduced to her. “How did she know she was glad or delighted to meet me?” he inquired quite justly. When she feels any doubt on the subject she need only repeat his name and bow. It is not necessary to shake hands on being introduced, except when there is some special reason for cordiality.” –  Los Angeles Herald, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia