Seating and Precedence in Washington D.C.

“Official etiquette demands that the President go first everywhere, and if you see a photograph of the President preceding the first lady of the land as they leave church or enter it, don't think the Chief Executive discourteous. He has to do it, for official etiquette demands it, chivalry or no. (Perhaps this may be a matter to be taken up by the feminists).” – Public domain image of Florence Harding, wife of President Warren G. Harding, President of the United States at the time of this article, 1921

"WHO'S WHO" AT NATION’S CAPITAL IS PROBLEM

Are Cabinet Members More Blue-Blooded Than Senators Who Shall Sit at the Top of the Table and Who at the Bottom?

WASHINGTON, June 18.-With the White House again the social center of Washington, there has broken out anew the an- cient war over the question of "Who's Who in the National Capital."

Students of etiquette, social leaders and social climbers, diplomats and statesmen are all engaged in disputing the question over tea-cups and cocktail glasses (yes, there are still a few in use in the capital).

The President, of course, ranks everyone in Washington, even the first lady of the land. Official etiquette demands that the President go first everywhere, and if you see a photograph of the President preceding the first lady of the land as they leave church or enter it, don't think the Chief Executive discourteous. He has to do it, for official etiquette demands it, chivalry or no. (Perhaps this may be a matter to be taken up by the feminists).

The vice-president ranks next to the President. So far it is very easy. But now comes the moot question. Who ranks next to the vice-president? Recently on a White House dinner guest list the speaker of the house was ranked just beneath the vice-president. Immediate consternation resulted. 

State department etiquette sharks took the matter up with the dictators of White House formality. A lengthy discussion followed and precedents were searched in the congressional library. The state department sharps were victorious. When the dinner was served the secretary of state sat next to the vice-president.

Senate vs Cabinet

This victory caused a small sensation and led to some protest from members of the United States senate, who declared that had they been present at the dinner they would certainly have felt entitled to sit above any cabinet member, for they argue that the senate makes the cabinet, and it is only by senate approval that a cabinet officer gets his position.

Then along come the members of congress who declare that they are on a social par with the members of the senate, for don't they represent the people just as much as the senators?

No one has really determined just where the justices of the United States supreme court fit in this scheme of rank. General John J. Pershing offers another problem to those who have the duty of seeing that all social prerogatives are preserved and that no feelings are injured.

Certainly there will be a social sensation if the President, the vice-president, members of the cabinet and both branches of congress, the diplomatic corps and the general of the armies of the United States ever sit down at dinner together, for nobody knows yet just “Who's Who in the National Capital.”– By David M. Church, International News Service Staff Correspondent, 1921

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age D.C. Etiquette Coach

            

Etiquette arbiter— The young woman who is practically the ruler of Washington Society. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions. 

She Coaches the President's Wife in Social Affairs 

Unique Position Occupied by Miss Isabel Hagner in Mrs. Roosevelt's Household, Where It Will Be Her Duty to Supervise Details of State Functions and Name Guests 

*A second debut article from 2016*

WASHINGTON— Miss Isabel Hagner, daughter of Dr. Charles E. Hagner of this city, is the first appointee to the unique office of social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss Hagner is eminently fitted for this position. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions.

She has made a profound study of the laws of etiquette and she brings to her work the experience gained by acting in a similar capacity for Mrs. Hay, wife of the Secretary of State; Mrs. Root, wife of the Secretary of War; Mrs. Charles Emory Smith, wife of the Postmaster General; Mrs. Hanna and Miss Paulding, niece of Senator Depew.

As the social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Hagner's duties will be arduous and various. Besides keeping up the large private correspondence she will supervise all the details of the state functions. She will know the little private enmities and animosities which often embarrass hospitable occasions, and it will be her task to arrange the functions with a view to personal harmony.

A revision of the guest list will be confided to her, and this alone is no light duty. The unofficial functions at the White House probably outnumber the official events. Miss Alice Roosevelt's debut and the entertainment given especially for her will be under Miss Hagner's direction and it will be her duty to name the young women figuring in official, and resident society, who are entitled to invitations from the President's daughter. — San Francisco Call, 1901

  🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Washington DC Debut

The breakfast, with 35 tables at Raucher’s, was designed to outshine the famous Dolly Madison breakfast of last year and it would be almost a heresy to say it did not. —Public domain image of former American First Lady, Edith Wilson, photographed in 1915.

MRS. WILSON RECEIVED INTO WASHINGTON SOCIETY

WASHINGTON, April 5. When the first real official society function of the administration — the “debut” of Mrs. Woodrow Wilson — swung into being shortly after noon today, there was not one soupçon of politics to be found. Mrs. Wilson hates politics. and had refused to be a party to any event, however harmless and purely social, that had any political leaning. So when the introductory breakfast by the women of Washington was ar- ranged, the real opening of the White House season, the affair was as thoroughly representative of all factions that you could not say which or who was predominant. The breakfast, with 35 tables at Raucher’s, was designed to outshine the famous Dolly Madison breakfast of last year and it would be almost a heresy to say it did not.

Great care had to be employed to keep the tabooed political situation off the menu, because Mrs. Wilson had declined with polite armness any invitation to be chief guest at a breakfast of the Woman’s Democratic Club. So it remained for Mrs. Stephen B. Ayres to initiate a breakfast that would thrust all such entanglements far away.

Officially backing the breakfast were such organizations of women as the Daughters of the American Revolution. the Colonial Dames, the Washington Club, the Southern Relief Society and the Congressional Club, besides scores of individual women of official and social Washington.

Mrs. John W. Kern, wife of the senior senator from Indiana, was designated as toastmistress and at her right hand was seated the guest of honor. At Mrs. Kern's left was Mrs. Thomas Riley Marshall, wife of the vice president, and at Mrs. Wilson's right sat Mrs. William Jennings Bryan, wife of the secretary of state. The wives of other cabinet members were placed in carefully selected order beside these leaders of the administrative set great diplomacy having been employed to make the seating seem accidental, yet harmonious with recognized rules of the etiquette of the capital.

One of the little ceremonials at the One of the little ceremonials at the bead table was the pledging of one another by Mrs. Wilson, Mrs. Marshall, Mrs. Bryan and Mrs. Kern with a great colonial mace from the house of burgesses of Virginia. This over, the attention of the guests was turned to the menu and table chat.

When the final morsel had vanished and last sip of coffee had gone the way of all coffee, the guests gave ladylike gasps of content and turned to listen to an illustrated lecture by Abby Baker on “The Historic White House.” This discourse told of previous chief ladies of the land and of the many social events that had their being in the executive mansion. Little sidelights on people and things, told in a delightful vein, made the talk more of a personal reminiscence than a report from historical data.

Those who helped Mrs. Ayres get up and execute the breakfast were Mrs. Matthew T. Scott, Mrs. James W. Pinchot, Mrs. Henry F. Dimock of Washington and New York, Mrs. Albert Covington Janin, Mrs. Richey. Mrs. John Hays Hammond, Mrs. J. Taylor Ellyson of Richmond. Va., Miss Nannie Randolph Reath, Mrs. Duncan U. Fletcher and Mrs. Albert B. Cummins of Iowa.

It was all very select and very proper yet more than 350 women had secured tickets. There was no particular restriction because it had been given out very early in the new administration that “swell” doings were not on the four-year social program at all. And yet some who have attended other like functions said it was just as recherche as any and that Mrs. Wilson's debut would stand in history in just as glowing colors as the introductions of a dozen other mistresses of the White House.

Mrs. Pinchot is one of the leaders of the movement to abolish the burdensome “duty calls” which have proved so confusing to society at the capital. She proposes to rouse sentiment among members of the Congressional Club to carry out its primary object of mutual improvement. In previous adininistrations, Mrs. Pinchot declares, the women have deluged one another with calling cards, which came to mean little. “A machine could do that work as well,” she said. With the prospective “simplicity” of this administration, Mrs. Pinchot believes much of this useless “calling” can be dispensed with. — United Press Association, 1913

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Post Civil War Washington DC Society

“Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder.” – At some point between 1869 and 1877, according to the etiquette authorities of the era, the wives of the Supreme Court Justices stood alone at the top of precedence. The wife of the Chief Justice was at that time considered to be the First Lady of the United States, as the position of the U.S. President was essentially a temporary position. Supreme Court Justices have their jobs for life. A journalist took liberty with the title of First Lady in 1877, however, setting off a chain reaction of rebukes by those etiquette authorities in newly published etiquette books of the day. – Image (source- Find a Grave) of  Mr. & Mrs. (Amelia Champlin Warner) Morrison Waite. Morrison Waite was the 7th Chief Justice of the United States’ Supreme Court, from 1874 to 1888, which made Amelia Waite the actual First Lady in Washington D.C. at the time.

The Post Civil War Social Caste in Washington D.C.

The time has been, when our government was a small infant, that there was a fusion of the elements that go to make up what is called society here; but that time has passed away quite as completely as the domestic manners of dear Mrs. Madison. Lines and dots mark the social map as rigid and well defined in meaning as those that stand for the cities and towns on the geographical atlas. A Senator's wife stands on a point elevated above a member’s wife, and the chasm between them can no more be crossed than the celebrated river Styx. To picture this amiable fact, we will cite an actual occurrence in illustration. This little passage of arms came off between the wives of a Senator and a member, both of the husbands hailing from the Western part of the Union; but while the Senator is so small that he is lost in Congress like a needle in the hay, the member is one of the great political lights of the country, though, alas! alas! this significant fact could not help the matter.

The member's wife committed a grave error; in other words, she perpetrated a fearful mistake. She undertook to play with the social dice, and the dear little warm-hearted Illinois woman lost. What did she do? Listen, ye fates! She invited the Senator’s wife “to come and spend an evening socially with her.” She forgot the gulf that separates a Senator’s wife from a member’s. She forgot that she had only a two years’ lien on the public notice, while the woman she insulted held fast to the political plank six years from beginning to end. But this social rupture was speedily settled according to the code of fashionable life. 

The Senator's wife told her own dear “set” about the vicious faux pas, and the member’s unfortunate wife received sentence accordingly. In the capitals of all great nations the rules of etiquette are strictly enforced. The President and his family are lifted above the sentence accordingly. The President and his family are lifted above the sea of ceremony; and while everybody, from the Chief Justice to the least fraction of a ragged newsboy, can pay a visit to the White House, nothing is to be expected in return.

The masses can also pay visits of ceremony to the wives of Senators and members upon their reception days, but those dainty dames are not expected to make any returns for these civilities. In no case would a Senator’s wife call upon the wife of a member first; but etiquette peremptorily commands Mrs. Senator to return the call at a certain specified time. Some times one or both of these visits are made by card, these solemn facts at the time appearing to have no effect whatever upon the General Government. 

The wife of a Senator struck a key-note when she said: “If a member’s wife wants anything of me, she must come where I am.” In old feudal times, these little matters used to be settled by blood. Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder. –Washington Correspondent, 1869

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and U.S. First Ladies

Of her brisk morning walks, “only Mrs. Wilson's closest friends would think it in proper etiquette to engage her in conversation, so that beyond an exchange of ‘good mornings,’ or more frequently just a bow and smile, her walk is uninterrupted.”– Public domain image of former American First Lady, Edith Wilson, photographed in 1915. Formerly Edith Bolling, she was a descendant of the first settlers to arrive at the Virginia Colony. Through her father, she was also a descendant of Mataoka, better known as Pocahontas.

First Lady of Land Takes Pleasure in Much Walking

Mrs. Wilson, who has settled down to the usual routine of each successive Mistress of the White House, is endeavoring also seemingly to give any leisure she may have to a brisk walk every day. Her exercise ground is like that of many other widely known matron or maid, Potomac Park and its neighborhood, and her method is the same, motoring to the start of the walk, and off again up town in a White House limousine when her inclination or pedometer says enough.

Miss Bones is generally along with the President’s wife on these morning jaunts, as well as on many others, and both meet many they know. Only Mrs. Wilson's closest friends would think it in proper etiquette to engage her in conversation, so that beyond an exchange of “good mornings,” or more frequently just a bow and smile, her walk is uninterrupted.

Mrs. Wilson in carrying out the social duties of her position receives callers by appointment on certain afternoons each week. Sometimes her 5 o’clock At Homes of this kind are large, and other times they are quite the reverse. She meets her guests in the red room, where some of the younger military aids make the presentations. A tea table, which either Miss Wilson, Miss Bones Miss Edith Benha presides, is arranged in the window corner. Mrs. Wilson’s taste for flowers is shown by a plentiful grouping of roses in the vases and blooming plants on the mantel.

With the regularity of the weekly entertainment and the fact that the President and his wife are often on the Mayflower for Saturday and Sunday, the latter leads quite as busy a life as any of her predecessors. She maintains, too, it must be remembered, her interest in the activities of church, charity, family and friends, which formerly filled her life. The President lately has enjoyed going to the theater in the afternoons with his wife, once to a musicale and another time to a matinee, and it is said has, because of the many demands on his time, practically abandoned the long walks he formerly took through the city streets. –The Morning Union, 1916

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age White House Entertaining

Lucy Webb Hayes was a popular hostess in Washington D.C. ; “Mrs. Hayes, on one of her tours with her husband, was asked if she did not get tired of seeing so many people and going so much, and she replied: ‘Oh, no; I never get tired of having a good time.’”—  Laura Carter Holloway — She never tired of “having a good time”? One can only imagine how a U.S. First Lady would be excoriated in the press today if she were to give us such an answer! 

Etiquette and Protocol

At these affairs, a balance between men and women was maintained. Upon arrival, guests gathered in the East Room where the gentleman received an envelope containing the name of his dinner partner. At 7:00 P.M., the President and First Lady appeared. They led a double procession from the Red Parlor into the dining room.

 

During Hayes’ term in office, state dinners were served a la Russe - in the Russian style of bringing prepared plates and bowls from a separate serving area. No food or serving dishes appeared on the table to detract from the elaborate centerpieces, candlesticks, etc. Because Lucy was fond of fresh flowers, bouquets from the White House Conservatory were prominent on the tables. Each guest chose between two offerings for each course. The multi-course dinners could last up to three hours. Following dinner, Lucy was fond of leading guests into the conservatory.

Dinner with the Hayes Family

The Hayeses entertained close to 400 guests at formal and informal dinners during their four years at the White House. Cabinet members, politicians - friend and foe alike - intellectuals, literary figures, and military officers were frequent guests. Fellow Ohioans, Congressmen William McKinley and James A Garfield, were the Hayeses most frequent guests. Future president William McKinley, Hayes’ close friend and Civil War comrade, attended dinner 17 times while Garfield enjoyed dinner at the White House eleven times

. 

Even though the First Lady had the social obligations of her "office," she had no hired staff. Lucy Webb Hayes invited nieces, cousins, and the daughters of friends to stay at the White House. The young ladies assisted as hostesses, attending state dinners, Lucy’s Tuesday evening levees, and Saturday receptions. Everyone benefited from the arrangement: Lucy had help with her entertaining, and the young ladies enjoyed Washington society. The letters of Lucy Scott West, penned during her stay at the White House, offer a rare, first-hand glimpse into White House social events during the Hayes Administration.—From The Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of Prospective First Ladies

Although a lot has been spoken and written about the capabilities of Presidential candidates in the coming campaign, very little has been said of the woman who may share the success of any one of them. Of course, Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt, wife of New York's Governor, who is the leading Democratic candidate, needs no introduction to Americans. Born a Roosevelt, she kept the illustrious name intact by marrying one. Mrs. Roosevelt is no stranger to polities and diplomatic usage, so in the event of her husband's victory in the coming campaign she would fit into the role of White House hostess like a hand into a glove. Mrs. John Nance Garner, wife of the Speaker of the House, would also make an ideal “First Lady.” Since her marriage in 1895, she has been “Texas Jack’s” secretary and advisor. Their ideal partnership constitutes as romantic a story as any in the pages of fiction. Then there is Mrs. Newton D. Baker, who is equipped for the job of presiding at the White House by reason of her association with diplomatic society during her husband's tenure of office as Secretary of War in the late President Wilson's cabinet. One unusual possibility deserves mention. In the event of Governor George White of Ohio being nominated and elected, he will bring the youngest “First Lady” in history to the White House– his 24-year-old daughter, Mary, who is now his official hostess in the Gubernatorial mansion of Ohio.

These Potential First Ladies Well Qualified for Position

Wives of Three Leading Democratic Candidates and Daughter of a Fourth Ideally Suited for Job of White House Hostess.

WASHINGTON, June 17. Although it is an oft-repeated truth that every American boy may consider himself a potential President of these United States, we rarely, if ever, hear a word about the prospects of the girls who are destined to marry these boys. A strange oversight this, seeing that it is perfectly logical that if every boy has a chance of becoming "First Gentleman" of the land every girl has an equal chance of acquiring the coveted title of "First Lady."

Take a few of the present candidates for the Democratic nomination for the Presidency: Governor Franklin D. Roosevelt, of New York: Speaker John Nance Garner, of Texas; Newton D. Baker, of Cleveland, Ohio, and Governor George White, of Ohio. The capabilities of these candidates are well known, but how much is known of the woman who will share the success of any one of them? Of course, Mrs. Roosevelt, by reason of her distinguished family tree, is the more familiar of the potential “First Ladies.” Born a Roosevelt, she kept the illustrious name intact by marrying one on March 17, 1905. Most of Mrs. Roosevelt's life has been spent in the service of her family and more than a half-dozen civic movements.

Mrs. Roosevelt is no stranger to national politics, having proved her metal on many a campaign platform. In the last Presidential campaign, she fought tooth and nail in support of Alfred E. Smith, the Democratic standard-bearer. Ironically, Smith is her husband's bitterest opponent in the present fight for nomination.In the event of her husband's victory in the coming campaign, Mrs. Roosevelt would fit into the role of White House hostess like a hand in a glove.

Mrs. John Nance Garner, wife of the Speaker of the House, though not as widely known as Mrs. Roosevelt, would also make an 18 carat “First Lady.” Since “Texas Jack” married the former Ettie Rheiner, in November, 1895, she has been his secretary, helper and advisor. There is very little about politics that Mrs. Garner does not know. The story of Speaker John and his wife deserves a whole volume to itself if justice is to be done to one of the most ideal partnerships in politics or any other field. Their struggles and triumphs constitute a romantic story rarely found outside the pages of fiction.

Then there is Mrs. Newton D.Baker, who, as Elizabeth Leopold, of Pottstown, Pa., married the present Democratic “Dark Horse,” in 1902. Mrs. Baker would also make an admirable White House Lady, knowing, as she does, the highways and byways of social and diplomatic etiquette. Though her. home is in Cleveland, O., Mrs.. Baker has been established as one of the capital's most popular hostesses since the day in 1916 when her husband took office as Secretary of War in the cabinet of the late-President Wilson. She has persistently worked for the cause of working women for many years; knows politics inside out and her pet ambition is to be an artist and to sing. Though she is not very hopeful of her husband's chances of being named to carry the banner of Democracy, Mrs. Baker is the most consistent admirer of the “Dark Horse.”

While on the subject of potential “First Ladies,” one unusual possibility deserves mention. In the event that Governor George White, of Ohio, should win the nomination. and be victorious at the polls, he would bring the youngest “First Lady” in history to the White House. She is his daughter, Mary, 24, the eldest of five children. Governor White is a widower and when he was elected Governor of Ohio, in 1930, Mary automatically be came his official hostess. Who knows, she may yet rule the social functions in the House of Presidents. – Calexico Chronicle, 1932

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and White House Mistresses

 

During her residence in the White House, Mrs. Cleveland stood up in all the beauty of her young womanhood and bravely shook hands with the mighty public until she had to take her rings and gloves off, until her fingers were swollen, her arm was lame and her hand was like a puff ball. After every reception her maid had a solution ready to bathe her dislocated members, and it was often necessary to rip her sleeve up in order to get it off. 

Presidents’ Wives: Different Views of Different Mistresses of the White House

Mrs. James A. Garfield never got into harmony with the ostentation, excitement and vulgarity of public life. She is a woman of innate refinement, very domestic in her tastes, and the presumptions of the public grated on her. She could not reconcile herself to the privileges assumed by agents representing photographic and advertising companies, business firms, newspapers, artists and charitable, industrial and social organizations, and when she sent down word that she did not wish to become an adverting medium, that she did not want to be photographed, painted, interviewed or entertained, and that she begged to decline the testimonial of the club to which she was a stranger, she was most severely and cruelly assailed by message, letter and paragraph. 

In all her public life she did not receive ten reporters, says the New York World. Scores applied to her for audience, and very often poverty was offered as a plea for the coveted interview. To these importunators she frequently sent a sealed envelope containing a bill and a “please excuse me from newspaper comment” written on the back of her visiting card. She used to say that she “felt like a baby elephant” every time she received with the President. While fully recognizing her obligations as the wife of the Chief Magistrate, she argued at home and among her friends that she was not a politician, was not in office, and in no way compelled to make un exhibition of herself, her home and her children. There was no time between the election and burial of her husband, when she would not have gladly paid the newspaper writers and artists to decline the work assigned them. 

These very sentiments are entertained by Mrs. Harrison, who dreads publicity, suffers from the demands made upon her by strangers and shrinks from the ordeal of handshaking, committees and delegates bearing testimonials, resolutions or documents inquiring her approval. Last winter, while a member of Mrs. Wanamaker's Delsarte class, she entered the drawing-room just as Mrs. Russell was showing the Wanamaker girls how to bow. There was the little bow of the head, which would suffice for an employee in the “depot”; there was the warmer salutation, with an advancing of the chest, for the formal caller: there was a still more cordial salute, accompanied by a responsive movement of the head and torso, and finally the low, grand, sweeping bow from the head to the ankles, expressive of great respect, such as the Queen is accustomed to receive. 

Mrs. Harrison listened with undivided attention, and when the lesson was ended asked to be presented to Mrs. Russell, and during the conversation that ensued, talked very lively to the New York aesthete. She referred to the Grand Army reception when she carried a fan and bouquet, so as to have ample excuse for not shaking hands, and to which innovation the Logan division took swift violent offense. “I was sorry,” Mrs. Harrison said. “I did not mean to show an indisposition to kindness or courtesy, but it was a physical impossibility for me to extend my hand. Had I been permitted to shake hands it would have been different, but to have others do it was more than my strength was equal to.” Mrs. Harrison is very frank on the subject, and while disposed to be pleasant and gracious refuses to manifest for strangers the cordiality that only her friends are entitled to. 

The approach of a stalwart from the mud lakes and prairies of the Sieto, Des Moines and Kansas rivers, with beaming face and open hand, gives her a chill, the discomfort of which is increased by the vigorous fanning necessary to the safety of her wrist. This aversion of the First Lady to cross hands with the grasping multitude will be the means of amending the etiquette of the reception and draw rooms of Washington, if not the United States. 

During her residence in the White House, Mrs. Cleveland stood up in all the beauty of her young womanhood and bravely shook hands with the mighty public until she had to take her rings and gloves off, until her fingers were swollen, her arm was lame and her hand was like a puff ball. After every reception her maid had a solution ready to bathe her dislocated members, and it was often necessary to rip her sleeve up in order to get it off. This girl bride liked the public, and the affection was returned. She was gracious obliging and indulgent to a degree, but impertinence was met by revolt. She sent to Paris for her clothes because she was too well known in Washington, Albany and New York to buy them at home. When she wanted shoes, bonnets or gloves, an order was sent to her dress-maker, who purchased them in her own name. 

Mrs. General Grant has not one adverse criticism to pass on the great unwashed. She admits that she cried like a baby the day she left the White House. A special train carried the General's party to New York, but she says, “I watered the journey with my tears. The General stood between me and any annoyances that might have occurred, but I was very happy; my life was eight years of bliss and one round of pleasure.”– San Francisco Call, 1890

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Old Washington Etiquette

Julia Dent Grant was “Mrs. President” in 1873, when this article first appeared in the newspaper. – All officials and non-officials call on the President. He is not required to return calls or accept invitations, but may waive this exemption at discretion. All are admitted to his formal receptions without cards or invitation, as well as to Mrs. President's receptions on stated days, of which notice is usually given in the city papers. – In 1873, the First Lady of Washington D.C. society was not the wife of the President, but the wife of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, as the President’s is a temporary position and the Supreme Court Justice’s jobs are for life. Four years later, in 1877, writers of etiquette books, and those in Washington society, were horrified  when journalist Mary C. Ames referred to the newly inaugurated President’s wife, Lucy Webb Hayes, as “the First Lady of the Land.”

A writer, in view of the approaching season at the capital, gives a resume of certain points of etiquette, which he asserts will be found to accord with old time usages at Washington: “All officials and non-officials call on the President. He is not required to return calls or accept invitations, but may waive this exemption at discretion. All are admitted to his formal receptions without cards or invitation, as well as to Mrs. President's receptions on stated days, of which notice is usually given in the city papers. State dinners are attended by those only who are formally invited—which invitation cannot be declined on account of any prior engagement. 

“Senators who observe the old usages make no ‘first calls,’ on account of recognized superior rank, except on the President of the United States. Through courtesy to their own presiding officer, they make the ‘first call’ on the Vice President, but not by the virtue of any supposed higher official position. But Senators are expected to return calls like other mortals, and among themselves to observe the usual rules regulating the intercourse of private gentlemen. Those first at the capital make the advance, welcoming after arrivals.

“Heads of departments and foreign ministers make ‘first-calls’ on the President, Vice-President and Senators. Members of the House make ‘first calls’ on the foregoing officials, and Judges of the Supreme Court of the United States. None of the classes above mentioned are expected to make ‘first-calls’ on citizens, sojourners, and visitors, but are expected to return such calls in person, or ‘by card’ when personal calls are impracticable. These usages have not been established without much friction, discussion, and even rebellion on the part of certain ambitious ones. Of course, officials may voluntarily waive their privilege; and men of brains, culture, and acknowledged power are never tenacious about their observance, and act at Washington very much as they do at home among their old neighbors, calling socially whenever they find agreeable society.” – Marin Journal, 1873

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

U.S. State Dinner Etiquette

Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

At a State Dinner, the etiquette of the White House is exactly the reverse of the custom at a private dinner. The guests assemble in the East Room and await the President and his wife, who appear at the stroke of the clock. Woe betide the late guest! He has committed a national or international breach of etiquette.

At the table the President is served first, his wife next, then the guests, in order of precedence. An invitation to the White House is a command, and takes precedence of all others, even of a dinner at one's own house. An infringement of this rule would be regarded as a shocking breach of the amenities. The President's sister may be at the helm of the Whits House, as Mrs. McElroy was during President Arthur's administration, and Miss Rose Cleveland (being a part of Mr. Cleveland's first administration); but her position is never like that of the President's wife.

She has much more latitude, and although she follows in a general way the etiquette laid down for the President's wife, she has by no means the recognised official standing of the "first lady of the land." The younger and more inexperienced a woman is when she enters the White House, the more likely she is to succeed; since she is likely to do as she is told, without presuming to act upon her own judgment. This is one secret of Mrs. Cleveland's success. — The Sausalito News, 1897

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

White House Mistress Etiquette

Woodrow Wilson had two wives while in the White House, one of whom died in 1914. Up until the later 1800s, the wife of  U.S. President was not the “First Lady.” The wife of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court ruled over Washington society, as her husband had his job for life, as opposed to the job of U.S. President, which is a temporary position.

Before They Were Called First Ladies, They Were the

Mistresses of the White House

Not only has Woodrow Wilson been elected President of the United States, but, what is fully as important in the estimation of multitudes of Americans, Mrs. Woodrow Wilson, and Miss Margaret Wilson, Miss Jessie Wilson and Miss Eleanor Wilson will move into the White House next March. The place of the ladies of the White House has been kept before the country almost as prominently through all these years as has that of the President himself. 

Eternally questions of precedence and etiquette have come forward. The public has wanted to know all about the daily life and the domestic doings of the Presidential family, the housekeeping woes of the mistress of the mansion and her behavior at the official receptions; the tastes and habits of all the feminine members of the family, and withal there have been at times little tales of boudoir plots and parlor intrigues, although the history of the United States has very little of the backstairs kind of gossip that has played a large part in the histories of the nations of Europe. 

Abigail Adams, First Mistress

The wife of the first President did not live in the White House, of course. Abigail Adams of Quincy, Mass., was the first mistress of the mansion, although in her time it was a mansion in the making, and the finishing seemed to her very far away indeed. It was she who used the "great, unfinished audience room" as a place in which to dry the family wash. 

Dolly Madison was almost as much mistress of the mansion in Jefferson's time as in that of his successor, her husband, and it was she who saved the one piece of the original furnishings which is this day in the Presidential residence. When the British burned the house in 1814 the redoubtable Dolly managed to carry away the portrait of Washington which hangs now over the mantel in the Red Room. 

It has taken a long time for the mansion to approach completion, and no sooner was it finished than it was destroyed by the ruthless hands of the English soldiery. The building which succeeded the first residence was a faithful reproduction in forms and dimensions of the plans drawn by the original architect, Maj. Hoban. The very foundations and part of the outside walls are relics of the building which went in fire in 1814. 

Mansion Is Now Complete 

Then in 1902 there was begun the White House improvements which have resulted in the mansion of today becoming almost precisely what the President's house was intended to be by those who made the original plans for it. It was necessary to relieve the residence of the necessity of being headquarters for the business of the executive. An office annex was built and thus the disfiguring additions to the mansion could be taken away. 

The original plans were studied for the restoration of the residence itself, and the buildings of the University of Virginia, planned by Jefferson, were investigated. A dining room was provided in which 100 guests might be entertained. Space for the comfortable housing of such a family as that of Woodrow Wilson was secured. And finally, In 1912, the office building has been enlarged and reconstructed, so that the new president will have such family accommodations as many of his predecessors sighed for in vain. 

The story of the successive White House families has much of picturesque variety. Not always has the mistress been the wife of the President. Buchanan was a bachelor; he had been disappointed in love as a young man. Jefferson, Jackson, Van Buren and Arthur were widowers. Grover Cleveland alone of the line was married in the mansion. 

Tyler lost his wife while in office, and married again, but the ceremony took place in New York. Benjamin Harrison's wife died while he was in the Presidential chair. Mrs. McKinley was an invalid, as was the first Mrs. Tyler. Andrew Jackson had a battle that cost him more sleep probably than did the battle of New Orleans, a battle over the social recognition of a certain lady while he was living in the Presidential home. 

The Pierces lost a son by a sad accident, and the calamity threw a shadow over most of their four years in the residence. And each of the two last Presidents has had a daughter to take her place as the First Young Lady of the Land, and now the new President has not only one, but three.  — The Sausalito News, 1913

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of a Confederate First Lady

Southern Belle, Varina Davis, tried to duplicate the protocol and etiquette of Washington DC, after her husband became President of the US Civil War's Confederacy. 

The Confederacy's Jefferson Davis, and His Wife's Washingtonian Inspired Attempts at Copying the North's Presidential Protocol 

In his “Recollections of Richmond,” Edward A. Pollard chats as follows about Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson Davis:

Amid the frivolities and vicissitudes of Richmond society during the war, Mrs. Jefferson Davis was conspicuous for an attempt to introduce into them something of the manners and and etiquette she had imported from certain circles in Washington. It proved not only an ignominious failure, but an unpleasant scandal. 

The Confederate President himself, although recluse and haughty in his government, was democratic enough in his personal habits, simple in his social tastes, and plain and accessible to the populace. But Davis was the most usurious of men, and it was surprising indeed that a man of his fine nervous organism, a very type of social dilletantism, should have fallen so much under the dominion of a woman who was so excessively coarse and physical in her person, and in whom the defects of nature had been repaired neither by the grace of manners, nor the charms of conversation. 

Mrs. Davis was a brawny, able-bodied woman, who had much more of masculine mettle than of feminine grace; her complexion was tawny, even to mulattoism; a woman loud and coarse in her manners, full of self assertion, not the one of her sex who would have been supposed to win the deference of a delicate man like Davis — whimsical in health, a victim to “nerves,” nice and morbid in his social tastes — although she might as well have conquered the submission of such a creature by the force of her character. 

Davis deferred to her in the social regulations she would impose upon Richmond. She demanded the etiquette of Washington, that the President's lady should return no calls; she introduced what was unknown in Richmond — liveried servants; and when every horse was impressed in the service, the citizens forced to to go afoot, remarked with some disdain the elegant equipage of Mrs. Davis, that paused much more before the shops of Main street than the aristocratic residences of Grace and Franklin.

Davis himself was simple and democratic in his habits. His figure, habitually clothed in Confederate gray, was familiar on the streets, or might be seen almost every evening, mounted on the rather mean horse on which he took regular exercise. He invited the approach and freedom of  the commonest men, but sometimes to the disadvantage of his dignity. 

A number of stories were told in Richmond of his curiously free intercourse with his soldiers, although they lacked something of the Napoleonic tradition. Once, when he was crossing Capitol Square, a drunken North Carolina soldier stopped him and inquired, “Say, mister, be' t you Jefferson Davis?” “Sir,” returned the President, “that is my name.” “I thought so,” replied tar heel, “you look so much like a Confederate postage stamp.” 

Another occasion was more dramatic. The President was returning with Mrs. Davis from one of the customary festivities on a flag of truce boat that had come up the James. Walking the street in the night, unattended by his staff, and with no indications of his importance, he had to pass the front of the Libby Prison, where a sentinel paced, and according to his orders, forced passengers from the sidewalk to take the middle of the street. 

As the President, with his wife on his arm approached him, he ordered them on the pavement. “I am the President,” replied Davis, “allow us to pass.” “None of your gammon,” replied the soldier, bringing his musket to his shoulder, “if you don't get into the street, I'll blow the top of your head off.” “But I am Jefferson Davis man — I am your President — no more of your insolence!” and the President pressed forward. He was rudely thrust back, and in a moment he had drawn a sword or dagger concealed in his cane, and was about to rush on the insolent sentinel, when Mrs. Davis flung herself between the strange combatants, and by her screams aroused the officer of the guard. 

Explanations were made, and the President went safely home. But instead of the traditional reward of the faithful sentry, that has usually graced such romantic adventures, came an order next day for the Libby to degrade the soldier, and give him a taste of bread and water for his unwitting insult to the Commander-in-Chief of the Confederate armies. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1868

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette: The Dish on White House State Dinners

December 12, 1874: The first visiting head of state to attend a State Dinner at the White House was King David Kalakaua of the Kingdom of Hawaii, hosted by Ulysses S. Grant. 

Early 19th century dinners honoring the President's Cabinet, Congress, or other dignitaries were called 'State Dinners' even though they lacked official foreign representation. Under such conditions, large receptions and dinners were a rare occurrence. Washington D.C. society was a collection of widely separated, isolated villages, and at times almost inaccessible.

 June 8, 1939: Seating arrangements for the State Dinner for George VI of the United Kingdom, hosted by President and Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt...  Months of meticulous planning go into a State Dinner. The guest of honor’s country, culture, and favored preferences are thoroughly researched. The First Lady often chooses the décor and entertainment to highlight a certain aspect of American culture. Together, these considerations are translated into invitations, menus, guest lists, and entertainment. The results can be a form of diplomatic dialogue between the host and guest cultures.

As the times changed, so did the nation’s capital. A series of State Dinners were soon held every winter social season to honor Congress, the Supreme Court, and members of the Diplomatic Corps.

Extravagant floral arrangements and lights decorate the East Room of the White House for the state dinner given by President Theodore Roosevelt in honor of Prince Henry of Prussia in 1902.

In the late 19th century’s Gilded Age, the term ‘State Dinner’ had become synonymous with a dinner hosted by the President honoring a foreign head of state. The first visiting head of state to attend a State Dinner at the White House was King David Kalakaua of theKingdom of Hawaii, hosted by Ulysses S. Grant on December 12, 1874. According to Barry H. Landau’s book “The President’s Table,” there were just 36 guests but “as many as 29 courses,” all of them French, which was de rigueur at the time.

The Dish on White House China

Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, an accomplished china painter, designed her own official White House china in 1889 and, what's more, initiated the first continuous White House collection -- by now, what with breakage and pilferage, a fascinating assemblage of remnants.

In 1840, gold table settings became Presidential campaign issue. Helping William Henry Harrison, a simple frontiersman, grab the Presidency from Martin Van Buren. When Benjamin Harrison, his grandson, won the Presidency later, his wife, Caroline Harrison, wanted new White House china that would be “symbolic and meaningful to Americans.” The First Lady, an artist herself, placed the Coat of Arms of the United States in the center of the plates, and designed a goldenrod and corn motif etched in gold around a wide band of blue. The corn represents Mrs. Harrison’s home state of Indiana. Forty-four stars, one for each state at the time, make up the inner border. Mrs. Harrison directed a large-scale remodeling effort of the White House, adding a china closet to display all past Presidential china services. Caroline Harrison was not able to use the china she had ordered, as she died before it was delivered. The china arrived in December 1892.

Over the last 40 or so years, of the First Ladies who tried to supply full services for the usual 120 guest state dinners, very few have succeeded (Betty Ford doesn't count; she was in residence to briefly). Lady Bird Johnson contributed a 220 place wildflower service designed by Tiffany and company, produced by the American from Castleton, and paid for by Jane and Engelhard, the Far Hills, New Jersey, philanthropist.

Lady Bird Johnson is also known as "the first lady of wildflowers" in Texas. Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson held over State Dinners along with weddings for both their daughters while in the White House

Pat Nixon was ready to give Lenox the go ahead for a service Clement Conger helped design but suddenly cancelled; a few days later Nixon resigned.  Rosalynn Carter made do with pieces from this service and that, intending to produce a set of Carter china later. There was no later; she overestimated Jimmy's re-electability. 

Turning the tables for a moment, this photo captures Richard Nixon at a State Dinner in China:  Mr. Nixon and First Lady Pat Nixon gave more State Dinners than any other first couple. “I believe I produced 76,” social secretary Lucy Winchester Breathitt, told Vanity Fair. Nixon was particular about where people sat at his State Dinners. Concerning Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, he noted in a memo: “Henry should not always be put next to the most glamorous woman present.  It’s starting to cause unfavorable talk that serves no useful purpose.”

By the time Nancy Reagan became First Lady, the most complete service, Lady Bird's, was down to 90 settings.  The handsome red and 24 karat gold-rimmed Lenox china -- designed by Nancy Reagan and Ted Graber with the Presidential seal should be around for awhile, even with occasional breakage; the 4,391 pieces include 220 place settings, 19 pieces per place.

Ronald and Nancy Reagan hosted 59 State Dinners in the two Presidential terms they spent in the White House.  Reagan loved to entertain, and preferred to serve California wines.

During the George W. Bush administration, 320 more formals sets sets of china were added for White House State Dinners (and 75 informal sets of china for the private quarters of the White House) though George and Laura Bush held very few State Dinners during their two terms-- only eleven in total.

George W. Bush White House state china in gold rim with a green basket-weave pattern and a historically-inspired gold eagle, manufactured by Lenox.

Dinner for 140

The White House “China Room” in 1918

The ground floor China Room is where the White House collection of china is kept. Even the earliest presidents received government funds to purchase state china. However, by a special clause in the appropriation bills, "decayed furnishings" could be sold and the proceeds used to buy replacements. Such "furnishings" included state china, and during the 19th century the cupboards were frequently swept clean and the contents carted off to auction. The money could then be used to order a new china service that better suited the president and his family.

Even into the 20th century, White House china was often given away if it was chipped or broken. Later, Congress passed a law that required that all presidential china be kept or destroyed. When new dessert plates for the Johnson administration turned out badly, the White House staff smashed it against a basement wall painted with caricatures of the president's assistants.

Today, nearly all presidents are represented in the china collection one way or another. And full services suitable for state dinners exist for the B Harrison, Wilson, FD Roosevelt, Truman, L Johnson, Reagan, and Clinton sets, although the older sets are much smaller than the newer ones and cannot be used for the largest events. Replacement pieces are occasionally ordered for these, as pieces become chipped or broken.

Wilson — 120 settings

FD Roosevelt — 120 settings

Truman — 120 settings

L Johnson — 216 settings

Reagan — 220 settings

Clinton — 300 settings

Bush — 320 setting formal set, 75 setting informal set

Above from the White House Museum.Org

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia