Etiquette Tip to Latins

 

“The original smoking jacket was, in fact, a robe de chambre, or dressing gown. As international trade grew in the early 1600’s and tobacco became a part of men’s lives, smoking jackets became part of a gentlemanly wardrobe in an effort to protect his clothes. This was a tie when men’s wardrobes weren’t nearly the size that they tend to be today, so protecting one’s sartorial investments carried an even greater importance than it does now.
“At first, it was only appropriate for a man to be seen in a smoking jacket in front of his family, or perhaps in front of his personal butler (as you might imagine, only men of means would wear these).
By the 1800’s, the jacket began to morph from a robe style covering (complete with sash belt, like a modern bathrobe) to a shorter style resembling a dinner jacket. It was around this time that the tradition of retiring into one’s study for a smoke and a port became common. “The rising popularity of Turkish tobacco at the time is directly linked with this phenomenon.As dinner jackets continued to replace the tailcoat for dinner, the smoking jacket too gained popularity. Gentlemen began wearing versions that had different closures (not a sash) so that they could be worn to an actual dinner, not just afterwards. As the 1950’s approached, male celebrities like Frank Sinatra, Cary grant, and Fred Astaire all wore smoking jackets regularly with their black tie attire, and did so outside of the home.” - Bespoke Unit  – Gomez Addams (Raul Julia) in a stylish smoking jacket.
–Image source, Pinterest

Problem in Censorship

WASHINGTON, April 8 — The Children's Bureau of the Department of Labor is trying to figure how to tell Latin-American delegates to a conference early in May to bring “black tie” without runnning afoul of cable censors, the knowledge of social slang of the delegates or the Controller General.

Most of the delegates will come by airplane and have to be economical of baggage, so they have been asking Washington by cable: “Shall we bring frac, smoking or both?” This means “tails or dinner coats,” but if the bureau replies “smoking sufficient,” it feels that the censors will think it is code and stop the message. If it says “black tie” the Latins won't understand. And if it goes into detail, the Controller General might reject the bill as a needless extravagance.

No one has decided yet how the situation can be met. –The New York Times, 1942

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Awfully Charming Gilded Age Slang

A very “pooty” gown on the cover of the March 1893 Delineator Magazine — “Pretty is no longer pretty, but ‘pooty.’ V., the famous man milliner, has caught the trick from his Duchess customers. You hear him talk glibly of ‘pooty gowns’ and ‘pooty tails.’ ‘Gorgeous’ or ‘deadly’ are the correct adjectives to use when speaking of the weather. Nowadays it is quite customary for educated people to talk of ‘the Dook.’”

How Fashionable People Talk

There are fashions in speech as well as fashions in clothes. Everything in society just now is either “awfully ghastly” or “awfully charming, don’t you know.” If your new bonnet isn't awfully ghastly it must be awfully charming; and if Miss Fourstars’ singing at the local concert the other evening wasn't awfully charming, then it must certainly have been awfully ghastly. Pretty is no longer pretty, but “pooty.” 

V., the famous man milliner, has caught the trick from his Duchess customers. You hear him talk glibly of “pooty” gowns and “pooty” tails. “Gorgeous” or “deadly” are the correct adjectives to use when speaking of the weather. Nowadays it is quite customary for educated people to talk of “the Dook.” In quite aristocratic circles the final “G” is dropped in many words. They talk of killin,’ shootin,’ talkin,’ singing.’ 

I suppose the next thing we shall hear will be that they have ceased to aspirate their “H’s” for the excellent reason that it has become so common for ordinary folks to do so. But, after all, these examples of affectation, ridiculous though they sound, are not quite so bad as the mincing style of affectation fashionable in days gone by. Mincing is now chiefly confined to old maids or young girls under 20. Other folks don't seem to get me for it. In these days of push “side,” teens to go further than mincing manners. — Pall Mall Budget, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Slang Barred in Boston Schools

My advice to the children in Boston schools is: Don't be slovenly in the use of English. Slovenliness is the result of habit, and once tolerated, it is likely to cling to all of us until mature life. – Jeremiah E. Burke

“Hello” Barred in Boston

 According to Superintendent of Schools Burke the Word is Both Undignified and Slovenly

Do not say “Hello” when you pick up the telephone. Avoid “Nope" and “Yep“ in your conversation when you mean “No” or “Yes.” If Boston is going to sustain its reputation as the “Athens of America” it must quit the use of these barbarisms, according to Jeremiah E. Burke, new Superintendent of Boston schools. It is more in accordance with Boston culture to say something like "This is Mr. Smith talking; with whom am I conversing?” 

“There are many words,” Superintendent Burke says, “to use in place of that undignified and impolite word ‘Hello’.” It is condemned in Boston schools, particularly in classes in salesmanship, where knowledge of dignified and grammatical English is essential. “There is no excuse for the use of ‘Nope’ and ‘Yep’ in conversation. I believe that if Boston school children will check themselves in their use, parents at home will gradually dispense with their use. My advice to the children in Boston schools is: ‘Don't be slovenly in the use of English. Slovenliness is the result of habit, and once tolerated, it is likely to cling to all of us until mature life.’” –Boston American, 1922

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and New Anglophiles

Have you heard? In America, to “be English” is undoubtedly the social fashion of the present. But one should be shocked by the language!

A Bit of Anglomania

To “be English” is undoubtedly the social fashion of the present, but, as a critic of this species of affectation remarks: “American women do not, unfortunately, seem to catch the best spirit of anglicism, but, like parrots and children, pick up that objectionable slang which seems the perquisite of the fast London set, and of which that circle should be left in undisturbed possession. To hear such words from a pretty mouth as ‘I feel awfully seedy,’ ‘It's beastly hot,’ or ‘Don't tell me such rot,’ is shocking to those who are not accustomed to such speech.” — Los Angeles Herald, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Etiquette and Slanguage

One monarch's, “Oh, cucumbers!” is another monarch's, “Shut up!” Every era’s slang is different.

Princess Scorns Etiquette Rules and Drops into Slang

When royalty unbends, as royalty so often loves to do and takes on the parlance of the common people with spontaneous naturalness, the common people chuckle and are well pleased. At least this is true today in Bulgaria. 

It is being related that Princess Nadejda, sister of King Boris, was listening recently to the dignified matron of the royal court, Madame Peatrava-Tchomakova, telling something that purported to be true, but for the princess the earmarks of fiction were too apparent. 

Nadejda stood it as long as she could, and then burst out with “Oh, cucumbers!” There was a burst of laughter which almost drowned Nadejda’s quick apology, for court etiquette had been gravely damaged. The expression of the young princess might be rendered in English by, “Oh, rats!” — (AP) Euxinograd, Bulgaria, 1924 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue

The mistresses of a brothel were known as “Abbesses” 

Now you too can recognize an ‘abbess’ from a ‘yellow boy’ :  Slang and vulgar language have probably been around since language itself, but when soldier Francis Grose’s, the “Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue,” was first published in 1811, it surprisingly was a runaway success. Below are some favorites:

ABBESS: Mistress of a brothel.

BABES IN THE WOOD: Criminals in stocks or pillory.

BLACK INDIES: Newcastle upon Tyne, whose rich coal mines prove an Indies to the proprietors.

BLACKLEGS: A gambler or sharper on the turf or in the cockpit: so called, perhaps, from their appearing generally in boots; or else from game-cocks whose legs are always black.

BLIND CUPID: Backside.

BOB TAIL: Lewd woman. Also an impotent man or a eunuch.

BREAD AND BUTTER FASHION: One upon the other. "John and his maid were caught lying bread and butter fashion."

CAT: Common prostitute.

Drawing of street Prostitutes, London 

CODS: The scrotum. Also a nick name for a curate: a rude fellow meeting a curate, mistook him for the rector, and accosted him with the vulgar appellation of Bol***ks the rector, No, Sir, answered he; only Cods the curate, at your service.

COD'S HEAD: A stupid fellow.

COLD PIG: Punishment inflicted on "sluggards" who lie too long in bed — pulling off all the bedclothes and throwing cold water on them.

COW-HEARTED: Fearful.

DOCK: Lie with a woman.

DUGS: Woman's breasts.

ELBOW SHAKER: A dice player.

GANDER MONTH: That month in which a man's wife-lies in: wherefore, during that time, husbands plead a sort of indulgence in matters of gallantry.

GLAZIER: Someone who breaks windows to steal goods for sale.

GOSPEL SHOP: Church.

HEMPEN WIDOW: One whose husband was hanged.

HOYDON: Romping girl.

INEXPRESSIBLES: Breeches.

JOLLY: The head.

KING'S PICTURES: Coin, money.

LEFT-HANDED WIFE: Concubine. Based on an ancient German custom where, when a man married his concubine, or a woman greatly his inferior, he gave her his left hand.

NOISY DOG RACKET: Stealing brass knockers from doors.

OVEN: Great mouth.

PIECE: Wench. A girl who is more or less active and skillful in the amorous congress.

POISONED: Big with child.

QUEER PLUNGERS: Cheats who throw themselves into the water in order that they may be taken up by their accomplices, who carry them to one of the houses appointed by the Humane Society for the recovery of drowned persons, where they are rewarded by the society with a guinea.

RESURRECTION MEN: Persons employed by the students in anatomy to steal dead bodies out of churchyards.

"Grave shields" like the patented design above, and "burial safes" like the one patented below, were expensive. Grave sites were commonly robbed, for scientific research on body parts. Families protected their loved ones if they could afford to do so. 

Body snatchers were known as ‘Resurrection Men’ 

RUM DOXY: Fine wench.

SHOOT THE CAT: Vomit from excess of liquor.

SHY COCK: One who keeps within doors for fear of bailiffs.

SNOOZING KEN: Brothel.

STRIP ME NAKED: Gin.

TIT: Horse or smart little girl.

TWIDDLE-DIDDLES: Testicles.

TWIDDLE POOP: Effeminate-looking fellow.

UNLICKED CUB: Rude, uncouth young fellow.

VAMPER: Stockings.

WINDOW PEEPER: Collector of window tax.

XANTIPPE: Socrates's wife, a shrew or scolding wife.

YELLOW BOYS: Guineas.


ZEDLAND: Great part of the West Country where the letter Z is substituted for S.

You can interject almost anything in a foreign tongue into an English conversation and what in English might be considered crude becomes in another language at least bearable. 

Amy Vanderbilt Etiquette of Foreign Phrases

"There are words which, politely speaking, are more acceptable in a foreign tongue than in our own sometimes brusque one. It is, therefore, possible to speak of a lady's derridre, the baby's po-po (German and French baby talk for "fanny"), a pot de chambre (decorators seize on antique examples as perfect flower vases these days), a crime passionel, a cochon, a file de joie, a maison close. In fact, if you want, you can interject almost anything in a foreign tongue into an English conversation and what in English might be considered crude becomes in another language at least bearable. This phraseological distinction is also a device often used in best sellers to spare the ignorant and to give those who can translate some slight feeling of naughty superiority."

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for nearly a quarter of a century, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette. She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years.