At-Home Wedding Etiquette

The etiquette of the home wedding is nearly the same as in more pretentious affairs, but many of the formalities are dispensed with.  MarthaStewartWeddings.com recommends making the renting of a tent a priority for outdoor receptions when getting married at home. “Unless the inside of your home can accommodate all of your guests—and every part of your wedding day—you're going to need a tent, says Jackson. Getting hitched in the summer? A tent with air conditioning and fans might also be a welcome addition.” – Photo source, Pinterest

At a home wedding the number of guests is limited. The bride wears a colored dress of light silk or a simple white one. The bridal party faces the clergyman and he faces the company. The etiquette of the home wedding is nearly the same as in more pretentious affairs, but many of the formalities are dispensed with. 

The decoration of the home is according to the tastes of the parties most interested. The wedding refreshments are partaken of in whatever way best conduces to the comfort and enjoyment of those present. A private wedding is one at which there are none present except the contracting parties, the minister and the witnesses. – San Francisco Call, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wedding Dress Etiquette

“However much a man’s mother may regret her son’s choice, she has no right to humiliate his bride at her own wedding– mortify her and make her unhappy. A woman of 63, dressed up to imitate a bride of 22, is not a pleasing picture.”

“This problem has two horns. One is etiquette; the other animus. Let’s get at the facts; 

‘Is it wedding etiquette for a bridegroom’s mother to wear her own white satin wedding dress, of the vintage of 1912 to her sons wedding? When she knows her son’s bride-elect has chosen white satin for her own bridal dress? 

‘There is no use to argue. Opposition would only make her the more determined to do it her own way. However much a man’s mother may regret her son’s choice she has no right to humiliate his bride at her own wedding– mortify her and make her unhappy. A woman of 63 dressed up to imitate a bride of 22 is not a pleasing picture. She could have her wedding dress dyed a pretty shade of lavender or any other color she liked. It is a handsome piece of satin and would dye well. 

‘She is so conceited, she said with a malicious grin that people would take her for the bride. There is no hurry. But your help would be appreciated. “She’s somewhat of a stickler for etiquette.’ –signed, Disgusted

“If she is a stickler for etiquette she will have her dress not only dyed but made over on more modern lines. So will she be appropriately and more becomingly dressed. However, are you sure you are not maligning her? It has been the custom once in so often for a woman to wear her own wedding dress at some special formal occasion. She may be genuinely mistaken, wishing to do honor to the occasion. 

“Also, are you certain that you have not misinterpreted a joking remark and set down to vanity a thoughtless joke? Seriously, a woman could not expect at 63 to be mistaken for a bride in her early 20s. By getting angry you are complicating a situation that could readily be worked out on a basis of goodwill and good taste. Get some outsider to suggest to your mother-in-law-elect that wedding finery almost a quarter of a century passed, is hardly the best choice for a son’s wedding. Even if your future mother-in-law did such a thing, you should be neither mortified nor hurt. To feel so, shows a small nature.” – By Estelle Lawton Lindsey, 1935

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia