Gilded Age Card Sizes Mattered

A late-Gilded Age gas bill, with its different types of print, colors and handwriting would have looked quite impressive to the Chinese servant, adding to his confusion and the humor of the situation. – Coal gas was something only the wealthy could have afforded in the Gilded Age, as it was a new fuel which was piped into homes for cooking and heating. New ovens, stoves and heaters were available for homeowners and the coal gas, along with electricity, was rapidly being installed in newer homes across the United States and around threw world.

An Honor for the Gasman

In Chinese visiting etiquette, the rank of the caller is denoted by the size of his card. Thus the visiting card of a high mandarin would be an immense roll of paper nicely tied up. The late Admiral Porter once engaged a full blooded Chinese servant, and Mrs. Porter immediately thereafter held “a reception.” John, the Chinese servant, attended the door and received with great disgust the small pasteboards of the visitors and, evidently with an opinion of his own of the low condition of the admiral's friends, pitched the cards into a basket and with scant ceremony showed their owners into the drawing room. 

But presently the gasman called with a bill - a big piece of cream colored paper. The card satisfied John. With deep reverence he received it. With low salaams he ushered the bearer not only into the drawing room, but with profound genuflections, to the dismay of the gasman and horror of Mrs. Porter, right up to the center of the room where that lady was receiving her distinguished guests, and then John, with another humble reverence, meekly retired, doubtless supposing that the owner of that “card” was a person of high distinction. – Syracuse Standard, 1900

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and a Bicycle for Two

Augustus nearly had a fit; how such things must amaze! This dreadful breach of etiquette would haunt him all his days! And to his love that night he vowed, by all his hopes of heaven, With her again he would not ride…

BALLAD OF THE BIKE

Augustus was a nice young man, in style quite up to date; Considered an authority in fashions new and late; And in the course of time he did as all young men will do, He met and loved a charming girl, whose name was Helen Drew.

Augustus had a wheel, of course, and often went to ride; He thought he was in Paradise with Helen by his side. Until one day his sweetheart said: “As sure as I'm alive, My wheel goes just as fast as yours, and mine's a '95!”

Augustus nearly had a fit; how such things must amaze! This dreadful breach of etiquette would haunt him all his days! And to his love that night he vowed, by all his hopes of heaven, With her again he would not ride till she bought a '97.

Both lovers lost their temper, and some bitter words were said: He swore she had no feeling, and she wished that she were dead: But finally they compromised, forgot their words at random, Got married and exchanged their wheels for a '97 tandem. – New York Sun, 1897

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette: Sensible Humor

“… there is a sensible reason for that rule. You are very liable to cut your mouth with the knife. That is one reason why you should always use your fork in conveying food to your mouth.” Above: Sir Alec Guinness looks on in bemusement as Sir John Mills eats food straight from his knife in 1946’s “Great Expectations.” By the latter half of the 19th century, etiquette books were decrying the practice of eating from one’s knife, though it had earlier been perfectly acceptable behavior in England for hundreds of years.

“Etiquette”

“Pardon me, Cousin Jay, but you should not eat with your knife,” said Mrs. Cittily, addressing her rural relative. “It is not according to the rules of etiquette, you know.”

“Hoh! What's the sense of eterket, anyhow?” airily answered the visitor from the wilds of the Wayback County, passing in the midst of an interesting exhibition of amateur sword-swallowing. “I ain't no dude.”

“I know you are not, Cousin Jay, but there is a sensible reason for that rule. You are very liable to cut your mouth with the knife. That is one reason why you should always use your fork in conveying food to your mouth.”

“Hoh! That ain't no reason at all! A feller that ain’t got sense enough to keep from cuttin’ his mouth with a knife would be just as likely to jab it with a fork.” – In “The World,” 1896

 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Etiquette and Carving

I think one of the most trying ordeals which the family man has to undergo during yuletide is struggling to preserve a happy exterior and maintain general good humor among his guests by relating spicy anecdotes just at the time, when in a desperate attempt to sever the breastbone of his turkey ship, the knife slips and casts gloom and gravy over the entire company.

Domestic Economy at Christmas:

Some Thoughts on Carving

It is a good old time-honored custom, that of the head of the family struggling with the still remains of the average gutta-percha fowl of commerce at a Christmas dinner, but we are glad to see a tendency in our best circles to relegate this custom to the musty past, where it rightfully belongs. Some of our best families now employ a servant, who, on an Eastlake sideboard and a small salary, takes a crosscut saw and a can of dynamite and successfully segregates the various choice parts of the fowl, thus giving the host an opportunity to enliven his guests with brilliant bon mots, instead of executing a crude style of gravy spatter-work on their white vests and immaculate shirtfronts.

Isn't this a decidedly more rational treatment of the matter? We hold that the position of the host toward his guest is that of entertainer, and it is not necessary for him to make an athlete of himself in order to occupy such position. You, as a guest, may naturally have your suspicions as to the age of the fowl of which you are invited to partake, but it must not be expected that the head of the house will take off his coat and assassinate the fowl in your presence, in order to prove that it is of an eligible age. Therefore why cannot the late lamented be dissected in good faith at a side-table and by a hired mourner without interference with the general comfort of the guest? 

We are not just sure about the, liberties of this new departure in Christmas-dinner etiquette, but we think it should permit of any guest with an abnormal suspicion of foul (we had almost written fowl) play leaving the table, and, while holding the hired man's coat, personally observe the inquest. No man who has ever served as host can do otherwise than bless the man who introduced this new order of things, which now gives him an opportunity to thoroughly enjoy his dinner instead of having to adjourn pro tern, to the kitchen to bandage a lacerated thumb, and remove several dressing-dados and gravy-symphonies from the lap of his best suit of clothes. 

I think one of the most trying ordeals which the family man has to undergo during yuletide is struggling to preserve a happy exterior and maintain general good humor among his guests by relating spicy anecdotes just at the time, when in a desperate attempt to sever the breastbone of his turkey ship, the knife slips and casts gloom and gravy over the entire company. I think if there is any time at which a man may be justified in feeling not entirely at home, but wishes his guests were, it is when amid half-stifled snickers from the general assemblage, he ties up a cut finger with a handkerchief, and removes a cupful of sage and stale bread from his vest pocket. 

The greatest trouble with men who never carve a fowl except on some festive holiday, is the great dissimilarity of fowls in general when roasted and set upon the table with the usual vegetable garnishments. They are never able to find the joints in the same place on two fowls. A gobbler from Tomales, for instance, may have a full chest and high expressive hipbones; while one from Milpitas may be consumptive-chested and have a collar-bone decidedly on the bias. Such things have a tendency to make the carver nervous, and cause a feeling of stiffness to prevail at a formal dinner party. 

It is also often a source of great distress to the host to have 7 or 8 guests ask for dark meat, when of the two fowls roasted there wasn't more than enough dark meat for the cook, who was particularly fond of it. To obviate this, the plan of ordering an extra brunette hen is recommended. If this preference for dark meat keeps on increasing there is likely to be a demand for a poultry farm that shall produce brunette fowls exclusively. — Written for the Rural Press by Fremont Wood, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Poetic Etiquette Humor

Etiquette humor was popular in the late-1800’s, and early 1900’s as the Gilded Age was winding down, though fashion magazines weren’t usually the first to print the funny posts.~ Image source, Pinterest

Mr. Josh Simpkins on Etiquette

I've studied up on etiquette,
Read every book that I could get, 
And yet There isn't one in all the lot 
That tells a feller it is not 
De rigger to cat pie For breakfast; 
hence, why shouldn't I? 
And, furthermore, I cannot find 
In all the books I call to mind 
A single line 
That gives a reason worth a whoop 
Against a second plate of soup
When fellers dine, 
And as for eating marrowfats 
Without a spoon I think that that's 
A fool- Ish sort of rule. 

When I eat peas,
 I'll do as I darn please! 
And, what is more, till I'm a snob 
I'll eat my corn straight off the cob, 
And sparrergrass I'll eat as I 
Have always done in days gone by- 
A sort of dangling from the sky, 
A sort of gift from heaven come, 
Held 'twist my finger and my thumb;  

And as for those peculiar things 
Called finger bowls I vow, by jings,
 I will not use 'em as they say 
The bon ton uses 'em today. 
If my hands ain't both good and clean, 
The pump is where it's always been, 
And, far as ever I could see, 
It's plenty good enough for me.
I don't stand much on etiquette, 
But yet I'm too polite to wash my paws 
At table, spite of social laws.

 

–Harper's Bazar, 1900

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Gilded Age Printing Office Etiquette

This detail of a mural in the foyer of the Poughkeepsie Journal, shows Ottmar Mergenthaler at his linotype machine surrounded by Morse, Bell, Edison, Greeley and others who played important roles in publishing history. – Image source, Pinterest

On the Lighter Side of Manners

A lady asked us whether etiquette requires us to knock at the door of an editor's sanctum before entering. We hasten to reply. If you are coming to pay your subscription or bring in a nice juicy item of news, don't stop to knock, but just walk right in as if you owned the place. 

If on the other hand, you are on a collecting tour, you should make the fact known through the window, and then knock at the door until the editor opens it. You may sink from exhaustion before he does so, but you will, be adhering to the printing office etiquette that is bound to please the average editor. To all of which we reverently say, “Amen.” –Winnemucca Silver State News, 1896

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Etiquette Humor for the Populace

Mr. Quickrich, who had made a million out of candles and thus gained a sudden entry into society, escorted the Duchess of Dash into the dining room. The multiplicity of forks and knives and spoons staggered him. The soup nearly made him faint. But he took his courage and an olive in both hands and launched forth pluckily.

A Little Pleasantry? He Tried it on the Duchess, According to the Rules

“If seated next to a lady at dinner and if at a loss for a topic, touch lightly on the weather. Then turn to dress. It that fails, try a little pleasantry.” With these words from “Etiquette for the Populace” stamped upon his memory, Mr. Quickrich, who had made a million out of candles and thus gained a sudden entry into society, escorted the Duchess of Dash into the dining room. 

The multiplicity of forks and knives and spoons staggered him. The soup nearly made him faint. But he took his courage and an olive in both hands and launched forth pluckily. “Bloomin’ dull day, Duch, ain't it?” he began, recalling topic No. 1.”Ahem!” he coughed as he remembered the next topic, dress. “Er– do you wear flannel next to the skin?” A marble shoulder nearly knocked him in the eye– a very cold and frigid shoulder. 

“Hum” muttered Quickrich. “Rather ‘ard to get along with. I’ll try a pleasantry.” Let’s see. The Duchess of Dash’s back was turned to him. He protruded a forefinger and jabbed her in the ribs. “Click!” he cried playfully. And that absolutely did it, and himself with it.– London Answers, 1910

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Boarding House Etiquette Humor

There are so many humorous news articles and so much ephemera on Boarding House manners and etiquette, living in one must have been challenging to those well versed in proper behavior. The above is from a late-1800’s post card. — “One of the refinements of table etiquette, in a boarding-bouse, is to inform the Landlady and your fellow-boarders when you've had enough to eat. The most delicate and approved manner of doing this is to tilt yourself back in the chair, spread your feet, yawn, stretch yourself, with both arms in the air, and wind up with a hearty grunt. Any gentleman who perfects himself in the practice of these rules of table etiquette would feel at home at a royal banquet at the court of St. James.”

The following observations concerning table etiquette in boarding-houses are worth committing to memory: 

ENTERING THE ROOM

If the door is ordinarily kept open, slam it shut after you ; if ordinarily kept closed, always leave it open. While approaching your place, regulate your gait so that you can carefully inspect every dish on the table before reaching your chair.

TAKING YOUR SEAT. 

In jerking out your chair, always knock it against another. If you're hungry; or in a great hurry, set your chair two teet from the table, so that you may get your mouth within four inches of your plate, and shovel the food in without loss of time. If you're not hungry , or not in a hurry, draw your chair close, so that you may rest both elbows on the table. In either case, if a lady occupies an adjoining seat, never fail to put one leg of your chair upon her skirts — it will attract her attention toward you as she rises.

GETTING HELPED AND HELPING YOURSELF. 

Presuming you are hungry— waste no time in recognizing the landlady, or any of your fellow-boarders but keep your eye on the waiters and call for two of them, at least. The instant you get soup, order fish; and when the fish is brought, order two kinds of meat — on different plates. (Something might give out, you know.) If you are smart, you can generally manage to help yourself to vegetables. The strong point on vegetables is to keep a dish of each within reaching distance; but sometimes you have to watch mighty close to preserve the best arranged semi-circle of vegetable dishes. 

If you are so unfortunate as to be beyond the reach of a castor, you must resort to strategy, and get a bottle from one and another, until you surround your plate with the desirable assortment of condiments. Never take salt from the cellar and put it on the table cloth, or upon the edge of your plate ; but dip your celery and meat into the main supply; this observation invests salt-cellars with a peculiar interest. Always be first in calling for dessert, lest you lose the chance of securing a double supply.

HOW TO EAT. 

The art of getting enough to eat, where there is a promiscuous assemblage of ladies and gentlemen, depends largely upon your skill in handling the knife and fork, and the capacity of your guzzle for unmasticated food. The latter qualification is a natural gift; but the knife and fork business, being entirely mechanical, any one who will keep his elbows six inches above the table and four inches (half the diameter of a dinner plate) inside the edge, will soon acquire freedom of motion and great proficiency in the use of those invaluable implements.

MISCELLANEOUS. 

Newspapers are allowable at the breakfast table, provided the reader turns his back toward one neighbor and puts his feet on the chair-rounds of the other. If no ladies are present except the landlady (and she is never a lady), it is preferable to draw a castor before you and tilt your paper against it. You can then swallow the news with your buckwheat cakes. 

Since two-pronged steel forks have got out of fashion, tooth-picking has become an embarrassing operation to those who have teeth. The prongs of the modern forks are too thick for the purpose and it has become necessary to resort to your pocket-knife, or incur the expense of carrying a quill. Some vulgarians are in the habit of taking a quill toothpick out of their pockets “on the sly,” and, concealing it in the hand, they relieve a suffering tooth without opening the mouth or attracting attention. This is barbarous. 

When you pick your teeth, everybody's attention should be directed to the occasion. You should either open your mouth wide, and use a penknife, or take a quill in one hand and raise a napkin to your nose with the other, as a flag of distress. 

One of the refinements of table etiquette, in a boarding-bouse, is to inform the landlady and your fellow-boarders when you've had enough to eat. The most delicate and approved manner of doing this is to tilt yourself back in the chair, spread your feet, yawn, stretch yourself, with both arms in the air, and wind up with a hearty grunt. Any gentleman who perfects himself in the practice of these rules of table etiquette would feel at home at a Royal banquet at the Court of St. James. – Sacramento Daily Union, 1872

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Sentenced to Teaching Etiquette

“I was well raised. Among other things, I learned not to eat without a fork. Thoughtless persons frequently hand food out of the kitchen, but forget the fork.”

                                 

Gilded Age Etiquette Humor or Why He Stole a Fork...

• Judge—You are accused of stealing. You went to this man’s house and asked for a bite to eat. It was given you and you put a silver fork in your pocket. Is this true? 
• Prisoner—All true, Your Honor. But hearken, I am no common thief. I was forced by a sense of duty to society to take the fork. May I explain? 
• Judge—You may. 
• Prisoner — I was well raised. Among other things, I learned not to eat without a fork. Thoughtless persons frequently hand food out of the kitchen, but forget the fork. It was to protect myself from outraging social usages that I took one. Is the explanation satisfactory? 
• Judge—Yes. You may instruct the county prisoners in etiquette for thirty days. – Omaha Herald, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1880’s “Watering- Place” Etiquette

There is probably more than a kernel of truth in this bit of etiquette humor —And regardless of whether the resort is ranked first, second or third-class, anyone with a lick of common sense tries to avoid speaking to this guy! 

The Candelaria True Fissure, says: A gentleman just returned from a round of the watering places, gives this summary of the schedule of etiquette at such places; A first-class summer resort is one at which the cottagers will not speak to the hotel guests. A second-class resort is one at which the hotel guests will not speak to the cottagers. A third-class resort is one at which everybody tries to have a good time.— The Truckee Republican, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of the Gilded Age Musicales

The strictly fashionable, correct New York musicale is as solemn as an evening funeral and as stupid as a love scene in the original; no one enjoys it but the performers. I think, without question, that you can manage to spend more money and make a larger proportion of your guests uncomfortable at a musicale than at any other form of entertainment yet devised. 

How a Musicale is Run

Just What the Guest and the Hostess Should Find to Do

To the Editor of the Sun –

Sir: I was interested in the Sunday Sun’s article describing the etiquette of a New York wedding. Now, won’t you please tell us what they do at a New York musicale in a private house? — Etta Milford, April 25

The writer called on a woman well known in New York society, propounded the request as printed above, and this is the way the society woman rattled on in answer: 

The strictly fashionable, correct New York musicale is as solemn as an evening funeral and as stupid as a love scene in the original; no one enjoys it but the performers. I think, without question, that you can manage to spend more money and make a larger proportion of your guests uncomfortable at a musicale than at any other form of entertainment yet devised. In the first place there are the invitations, which must be engraved and read something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Smith request the pleasure 

of Mr. and Mrs. Jones’ company on Monday at 3 p.m. 

 

R. S. V. P.                     Music.

You send these invitations two or three weeks ahead to insure the presence of some of your guests, for people always avoid a musicale if possible, as they do an appointment with a dentist or an interview with a creditor. Then you set about procuring your talent for the occasion, and mortgage most of your property to pay them. You must send a carriage for every artist separately, for they are usually such antagonistic rivals that they couldn’t be expected to ride the length of the block in the same vehicle. You furnish them with flowers, add your unbounded gratitude to the modest sum you pay, and dress yourself in some quiet home dress, with no bonnet or glove, to receive your guests. Sometimes you give a musical luncheon, where you vary the programme by inviting a small number of your most intimate friends to luncheon, and have the music afterward, to which it is quiet comme il faut to invite as many people as you can accommodate in your rooms, though they were not present at the luncheon. 

Musical breakfasts are on the same general order, occuring a little earlier in the day, though 1 o’clock is the fashionable hour. Sometimes the music precedes the breakfast, and sometimes a band of concealed musicians play through the meal as well. The style of music is extremely classical and very heavy. We are so cultured and melodious now that we don’t enjoy any harmony that we really can understand, and we talk very knowingly of shading and motives, touch and phrases and expression, though, of course, we don't know what any of it really means. The others do not understand either, so it doesn’t signify; no one knows if you make a mistake. 

The stylish musicale is hardly complete now without the Hungarian band, and the leader of that institution has been so battered and feted in America that he forgets sometimes that he was once hired as a kind of upper servant by the Countess Esterhazy’s father, who employed him to entertain his guests as he hired the butler to pour out their wines. Mrs. Hicks-Lord was conversant of the fact, and when, on a recent occasion, she paid $200 to $300 for his services, and he asked in addition to be presented to her guests, she aired her knowledge of his former situation with promptitude. The girl violinist is a very stylish creature of the musicale this winter, because she is such a picturesque and beautiful object and really doesn’t play the violin any more execrably than any other instrument. She has a pretty fashion of getting herself up in an artistic, flowing sort of a gown, with large sleeves falling away from the bare arms, and is a very delicious vision, quite reconciling one to listen to her.

If you really want to spend money on a musicale, you can invite your personal friends to entertain the guests instead of hired operatic stars. Of course they don’t charge you anything, as they are not professional; you just make them some trifling presents of a brown-stone block, a carriage and horses, a diamond tiara, and some other little things of that kind, and remain forever under a burden of gratitude besides. It is like having tickets sent you for the theater or opera by a friend; you have to give them something in return that costs more than a box in the grand row. A musicale returns any kind of an obligation—a dinner, luncheon, reception, or tea and costs more than all of them in one. Some people give a series of musicales, three or four in number, but one handsome musicale in the season is all that is really required or often given. The programmes must be also engraved and closely followed, and no refreshments are served of any kind. 

S0 much for the hostess; now for the guest. She must go dressed in her richest garments, as to the handsomest receptions with bonnet and gloves; she must keep her engagement, if she accepts the invitation, almost as carefully as to a formal dinner; she must come in time, and on no account leave the room after she arrives until the entire programme is completed. Usually, the house is filled with uncomfortable little folding chairs, into which you crowd your draperies as best you may and sit with your lower extremities paralyzed and prickling from the pressure of the bar across the front of the chair, with the delightful consciousness in your heart that your are ruining your best gown and that you can’t go until it is over, through one, two, three and sometimes four hours of agony, applauding and encoring every selection and smiling like a ballet girl upon every performer. If you don’t care for the programme, you can’t leave as you would a public hall where you bought your ticket, but must remain to tell your hostess at the close that you spent such a delightful evening. 

That’s the musicale genteel, correct and fashionable, but a bachelor friend of mine knows how to give the musicale enjoyable. In the first place, he doesn’t invite any more guests than he can accommodate without crowding them. The chairs are not arranged in solid phalanx, but distributed about the room here and there. People move about and talk with their friends, or partake of some of the dainty trifles scattered about the punch-bowl on a side table. There is no evidence of a stilted programme. People sing or play whenever it occurs to them, and after it is all over, you are taken into another room to the most delicious little supper. There are musicales and musicales, and, while they may he the most enjoyable of occasions, they usually are extremely fatiguing and stupid.— New York Sun, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dinner Party Etiquette Humor of 1882

 

Oranges are held on a fork while being peeled, and the facetious style of squirting the juice into the eyes of your host is au revoir. 

It is with a view of elevating the popular taste, and etherealizing, so to speak, the manners and customs of our readers, that we give below a few hints upon table etiquette: 

• Oranges are held on a fork while being peeled, and the facetious style of squirting the juice into the eyes of your host is au revoir. 
• Macaroni should be cut into short pieces and eaten with an even, graceful motion, not absorbed by the yard. 
• If, by mistake, you drink out of your finger bowl, laugh heartily and make some facetious remark, which will change the course of conversation and renew the friendly feeling among the members of the party. 
• In drinking wine, when you get to the bottom of your glass, do not throw your head back and draw in your breath like the exhaust of a bath tub in order to get the last drop, as it engenders a feeling of the most depressing melancholy among the guests. 
• If you cannot accept an invitation to supper, do not write your regrets on the back of a pool check with a blue lead pencil. This is not regarded as ricochet. A simple note to your host informing him that your washerwoman refuses to relent is sufficient. 
• On seating yourself at the table, draw off your gloves, put them in your lap under your napkin. Do not put them in the gravy, as it would spoil the gloves and cast a gloom over the gravy. 
• If you have just cleaned your gloves with benzine, you must leave them out in the front yard.—Cincinnati Fair Journal, 1882

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age “Emergency Etiquette”

Humor has long been used to make fun of one’s social foibles. Many of those in power socially, feel the need to appear effortlessly in control of their actions, and that they are above the little faux pas that seem to plague the rest of us on a regular basis. They always seem to make the easiest target of the etiquette satire. 

A Few Points of  Etiquette 

Advice Easy to Remember and Practice in an Emergency

In the mad whirl of the cotillion, if you wear ready made clothing bought from an irresponsible dealer, and hear a h-z-z-z that doesn’t harmonize with the F string on the bass fiddle, it is entirely correct and proper to not “forward and back” according to the commands of the figure caller, but to back straight ahead without balking, until you reach the wall, when a pin neatly utilized may cover your embarrassment and retreat. People who snicker under such circumstances should be put outside the pale of good society. 

When invited out to dinner and you inadvertently get a huge mouthful of mince pie that is hot enough to melt the solder off a gas pipe, tangled up in your epiglottis, do not act as if you had the whooping cough, but arise calmly and with a sleight-of-hand movement toss the offending morsel behind the majolica dog in the corner, meantime patting his head as though you thought him alive. This graceful act never fails to win the heart of your hostess, who thinks you intend her faithful friend to partake of the festivities. 

Some writer on etiquette, a good many years ago, said that it was perfectly proper to eat fried chicken with the fingers. I have often noticed people seize on a wing and rip it open like they would tear a yard of clothing material or a bolt of calico, and so the cracking of the crazy bone was audible all over the dining room. It is true that some fried chickens require heroic treatment, but when an apprentice in etiquette tries to jerk the goose flesh off the second joint of a Louis XIV hen and squirts a streak of gravy into the eye of his neighbor, it does seem that a new code regarding the best manner of shattering the remains of a hard boiled fowl should be introduced. 

When the sheriff of the county serves a subpoena on you, it is considered in good taste to attend his reception without further invitation on his part. Some sticklers on politeness, however, who find that it will prevent their witnessing a ball game, go to the extreme of sending around a physician’s certificate to the effect that they are indisposed from the influence of the sportive element. 

Don't use snuff if your false teeth are not strictly adhesive. I once heard of a case where this rule was not observed, when the transgressor, in a thoughtless moment, nearly knocked the eye out of a King Charles spaniel. In any cases of doubt about the minor points of etiquette a strong bluff on a weak hand, will almost always win. Rochester Union, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette Laughs

“Every Saturday” was an American literary magazine published in Boston, Massachusetts, in the mid-19th century. Mark Twain was one contributor. By the amount of humorous articles Etiquipedia has found on dining etiquette, written during the Gilded Age in America, it is clear that those who did not have the benefit of dining at the finest tables, sought refuge in laughter at the peculiar seeming manners of those who did.

Table Etiquette

• Bread should be broken, not cut; but if you don’t like bread, ‘cut’ it. In ‘breaking’ bread use a curb bit. 
• Don’t fill your mouth too full; rather allow some of the food to get into your moustache. 
• Split a biscuit with your fingers, instead of opening it with a knife like an oyster. lf the biscuit be hard, a beetle and wedge are admissible in the best society. 
• Salt should never be put on the table cloth, but on the side of your plate. If, however, you want to pickle the tablecloth in brine, you must put salt on it, of course. 
• Do not rattle your knife and fork. A knife and spoon will be found more musical. 
• Eat your soup from the side of your spoon, either inside or outside. 
• Do not take game in your fingers. This, however, does not apply to a game at cards. 
• Do not rest your arms on the tablecloth. Stack your arms in a corner of the room before beginning dinner. 
• When asked what part of the fowl you prefer, answer promptly. If you want the whole of it, don't hesitate to say so. 
• Do not drink with the spoon in your cup; put it in your pocket. Forgetting it, you will be so much ahead. A close regard to this rule has enabled Ben Butler to accumulate a competency. 
• Never leave the table until all are through, without sufficient excuse. The sudden entrance of a policeman with a warrant for your arrest, is generally considered sufficient excuse in polite circles. 
• Never help yourself to articles of food with your knife or fork. Use a harpoon or lassoo. 
• When you have finished your meal lay your knife and fork on your plate, side by side, with the handles toward the right, a little south by southwest, bearing northerly when the wind is off the side-board quarter. –Every Saturday, 1880

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