Renaissance Etiquette and Manners

Etiquette and manners were a response to the violence and crude behaviors run rampant in burgeoning European cities. They were  the means of reinforcing social order and distinguishing the privileged class from everyone else. It was at the dinner table, that these newly defined codes of conduct were especially important.

Italy was one of the leaders of the 16th century and 17th century cultural revolution, and that included table manners. Italian poet Giovanni della Casa advised in “Galateo,” his 1558 book on manners: “One should not comb his hair nor wash his hands in public... The exception to this is the washing of the hands when done before sitting down to dinner, for then it should be done in full sight of others, even if you do not need to wash them at all, so that whoever dips into the same bowl as you will be certain of your cleanliness.” 

Taking into account that one's hands were also one’s “utensils” for hundreds of years, this advice was truly of utmost importance. In his study on the social customs of this period, sociologist Norbert Elias noted that “In good society one does not put both hands into the dish. It is most refined to use only three fingers of the hand. ... Forks scarcely exist, or at most for taking meat from the dish.”

Some of the earliest known uses of forks with food occurred in Ancient Egypt, where large forks were used as cooking utensils. The personal table fork was most likely invented in the Eastern Roman or Byzantine Empire, where they were in common use by the 4th century, though the origins may even go back to Ancient Greece, before the Roman period. By the 9th century, according to records, a similar utensil known as a barjyn was in limited use in Persia within some elite circles. By the 10th century, the table fork was in common use throughout the Middle East. Forks were originally viewed by most in Western Europe, as excessively refined. Forks were also viewed, in the case of men, as a sign of effeminacy.

The custom of Western Europeans using table forks as dining implements began in Italy. They were at first a hit, but forks were slow to catch on in Northern Europe. The use of forks to get food from plate to mouth, didn't gain wide acceptance in Northern Europe until the 17th century—and even then, only the well-to-do could afford them. 

Spoons were communally used—making the etiquette of eating soups a delicate matter. "If what is given is rather fluid," Dutch theologian Erasmus of Rotterdam writes, "take it on a spoon for tasting and return the spoon after wiping it on a napkin.

Some human behaviors were deemed permissible at the dinner table. On passing gas, Erasmus wrote, “If it is possible to withdraw, it should be done alone. But if not, in accordance with the ancient proverb, let a cough hide the sound.” Most modern etiquette books advise that “civilized folk will protect others from any sounds or smells that may be displeasing.”

This isn't to say that all Renaissance manners are indeed outdated. On respecting fellow diners’ personal space, Giovanni Della Casa wrote, “It is also an unsuitable habit to put one's nose over someone else's glass of wine or food to smell it.” And Erasmus advised, “It is rude to offer someone what you have half eaten yourself; it is boorish to redip half-eaten bread into the soup.” 

Even modern science shows that a great means of spreading bacteria, is re-dipping partially-eaten foods. It certainly gives you an idea of what Renaissance society was trying to improve upon—and how far we've come since that time period. –Some of our sources; Smithsonian.com, 2011 and leitesculinaria.com

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Of Etiquette, Food and Man

Beautifully designed drinking horn from the 1300s.

Man has been distinguished from other animals in various ways; but perhaps there is no particular in which he exhibits so marked a difference from the rest of creation—not even in the prehensile faculty resident in his hand—as in the objection to raw food, meat, and vegetables. He approximates to his inferior contemporaries only in the matter of fruit, salads, and oysters, not to mention wild-duck. He entertains no sympathy with the cannibal, who judges the flavour of his enemy improved by temporary commitment to a subterranean larder; yet, to be sure, he keeps his grouse and his venison till it approaches the condition of spoon-meat.

It naturally ensues, from the absence or scantiness of explicit or systematic information connected with the opening stages of such inquiries as the present, that the student is compelled to draw his own inferences from indirect or unwitting allusion; but so long as conjecture and hypothesis are not too freely indulged, this class of evidence is, as a rule, tolerably trustworthy, and is, moreover, open to verification.

When we pass from an examination of the state of the question as regarded Cookery in very early times among us, before an even more valuable art—that of Printing—was discovered, we shall find ourselves face to face with a rich and long chronological series of books on the Mystery, the titles and fore-fronts of which are often not without a kind of fragrance and goût.

As the space allotted to me is limited, and as the sketch left by Warner of the convivial habits and household arrangements of the Saxons or Normans in this island, as well as of the monastic institutions, is more copious than any which I could offer, it may be best to refer simply to his elaborate preface. But it may be pointed out generally that the establishment of the Norman sway not only purged of some of their Anglo-Danish barbarism the tables of the nobility and the higher classes, but did much to spread among the poor a thriftier manipulation of the articles of food by a resort to broths, messes, and hot-pots. In the poorer districts, in Normandy as well as in Brittany, Duke William would probably find very little alteration in the mode of preparing victuals from that which was in use in his day, eight hundred years ago, if (like another Arthur) he should return among his ancient compatriots; but in his adopted country he would see that there had been a considerable revolt from the common saucepan—not to add from the pseudo-Arthurian bag-pudding; and that the English artisan, if he could get a rump-steak or a leg of mutton once a week, was content to starve on the other six days.

Those who desire to be more amply informed of the domestic economy of the ancient court, and to study the minutiae, into which I am precluded from entering, can easily gratify themselves in the pages of “The Ordinances and Regulations for the Government of the Royal Household,” 1790; “The Northumberland Household Book;” and the various printed volumes of “Privy Purse Expenses” of royal and great personages, including “The Household Roll of Bishop Swinfield (1289-90).”

The late Mr. Green, in his “History of the English People” (1880-3, 4 vols. 8vo), does not seem to have concerned himself about the kitchens or gardens of the nation which he undertook to describe. Yet, what conspicuous elements these have been in our social and domestic progress, and what civilising factors!

To a proper and accurate appreciation of the cookery of ancient times among ourselves, a knowledge of its condition in other more or less neighbouring countries, and of the surrounding influences and conditions which marked the dawn of the art in England, and its slow transition to a luxurious excess, would be in strictness necessary; but I am tempted to refer the reader to an admirable series of papers which appeared on this subject in Barker's “Domestic Architecture,” and were collected in 1861, under the title of “Our English Home: its Early History and Progress.” In this little volume the author, who does not give his name, has drawn together in a succinct compass the collateral information which will help to render the following pages more luminous and interesting. An essay might be written on the appointments of the table only, their introduction, development, and multiplication.

The history and antiquities of the Culinary Art among the Greeks are handled with his usual care and skill by M.J.A. St. John in his “Manners and Customs of Ancient Greece,” 1842; and in the Bibliaor Hebrew Scriptures we get an indirect insight into the method of cooking from the forms of sacrifice.

The earliest legend which remains to us of Hellenic gastronomy is associated with cannibalism. It is the story of Pelops—an episode almost pre-Homeric, where a certain rudimentary knowledge of dressing flesh, and even of disguising its real nature, is implied in the tale, as it descends to us; and the next in order of times is perhaps the familiar passage in the Odyssey, recounting the adventures of Odysseus and his companions in the cave of Polyphemus. Here, again, we are introduced to a rude society of cave-dwellers, who eat human flesh, if not as an habitual diet, yet not only without reluctance, but with relish and enjoyment.

The Phagetica of Ennius, of which fragments remain, seems to be the most ancient treatise of the kind in Roman literature. It is supposed to relate an account of edible fishes; but in a complete state the work may very well have amounted to a general Manual on the subject. In relation even to Homer, the Phagetica is comparatively modern, following the Odyssey at a distance of some six centuries; and in the interval it is extremely likely that anthropophagy had become rarer among the Greeks, and that if they still continued to be cooking animals, they were relinquishing the practice of cooking one another.

From “Old Cookery Books and Ancient Cuisine” by W. Carew Hazlitt, 1902

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette's 21st Century Evolution

“An early need for friendliness: In a world peopled with strange creatures of fancy and haunted by terrifying beasts, primitive man soon found a certain comfort in association with his own kind. The lone huntsman: became a clansman, and in the clan were formulated the first laws of primitive society.” - Lillian Eichler

By the 21st Century, we see that the vulgar, face a rude awakening...

The hand gets thrown up in front of the face, palm flicked outwards in a display of defiant aggression. It's a sign most of us are familiar with these days, thanks to American "talk" shows. Indeed you don't even need to hear the words - "talk to the hand, cause the face ain't listening ..." - to know just what is meant, and to know how rude it is. The baying audiences may whoop with joy, but in real life it's no laughing matter - especially if it comes from one of your children.

“Talk to the hand, cause the face ain't listening ...”

Neither are the sight of women singing with their mouths full of KFC - the most complained about TV ad this year - or those moments when you're standing in a checkout queue waiting to be served but the cashier can't get on with her job because the person in front is chatting on a mobile while trying to pay for a fiver's worth of goods with a credit card.

And spare us from sharing the bedtime secrets of those people who wait until they're on a crowded train or bus to start up mobile phone conversations about their sex lives.

Sing with my mouth full of KFC? I dare say, you would not find me doing such a thing!

These may all sound like the moans of the middle-aged, yet it does seem that a desire to have a more well-mannered society is beginning to take root.  Those who complained about the KFC ad were mostly young parents trying to teach their children table manners. Tony Blair talks of reintroducing "respect" to the populace, and a host of books are hitting the shops exploring the minefield of modern manners and setting out new standards.

From Blaikie's Guide to Modern Manners, Lynne Truss's Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life, Simon Fanshawe's The Done Thing: Negotiating The Minefield of Modern Manners, and Manners from Heaven: The Easier Way To Better Behaviour For All The Family, it seems that authors are tapping into the impoliteness zeitgeist in the hope of sparking change.

So are we all ill-mannered louts or is it just the pace of life and technology which is to blame for a lack of airs and graces? Psychologist Cynthia McVey believes a loss of manners is, in some cases, more about changes in society than deliberate rudeness.

Fewer men ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage.

"Some of the traditional things which would have been considered good manners have gone. Gender stereotypes have changed. Perhaps the biggest change is that couples live together instead of getting married, so a man won't ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage, which suggested the father had power over his daughter.

"Men also used to walk on the road side of the pavement to protect women from splashes, and open doors for them. Now women have gained independence and equality. Some women are offended now if a man opens a door for them, which I think is ridiculous. "The class difference has also been eliminated so you don't get anyone doffing their cap at the master now. Automatic respect for our 'betters' has also gone."

She does say, though, that children's manners, especially table manners, have been affected by changes where now it is more common for youngsters to eat TV dinners than to sit around the table with their parents. "They are also exposed to different cultural practices, for example, people eating with their fingers or using chopsticks, which changes their perception of what is acceptable behaviour," she says. "But I think parents still try to teach their kids about the importance of please and thank-you."
  

"Why learn how to set a table, for example, when you never sit at one?" Sean Davoren.  

Author and head butler at London's Lanesborough Hotel, Sean Davoren, says that after three years of listening to children talking about their lives in etiquette workshops which he ran before writing his guide, he began to understand why their manners were so bad.

"Quite simply, they had never been taught them," he says. "In some instances, their lives don't require them. Why learn how to set a table, for example, when you never sit at one? Why say thank-you to a waiter if your parents never bother to? Why learn to eat with your mouth shut if the only thing looking at you is the TV?"

Thomas Blaikie, like McVey, believes it's a more a flexible approach to life which has brought about politeness pitfalls. He says: "Until recently, social conduct (as it was known) was illogical but at least there were rules: stand up when a lady enters the room; leave your knife and fork at six o'clock/four o'clock/nine o'clock, with the prongs of the fork turned down. Scarcely a trace remains of this labyrinthine world of manners. But the age of e-mails and metrosexuality has thrown up a new set of social dilemmas and our free-and-easy ways have left us in a vacuum of uncertainty and embarrassment."

In his book, Blaikie explains some of the problems and sets out some new rules. Of mobile phones in public, he says: "On buses, on trains, in shops, everywhere, mobile phones are a nuisance, aren't they? It isn't just the ring tones - why are all of them silly? - it's the sword clash of different conversations conducted at full volume: while one person is blaring away about last night's sex, another is having a huge set-to with their insurance company about a minor car accident, and a third is nit-picking their way through the discounts on offer from Thomas Cook."

The solutions, he says, are easy: "You don't need to shout. When phones were first invented, people thought they had to shout into them, since the people they were talking to were far away. But, after almost 130 years, we ought to know better."

He adds: "It really is impolite to be on the phone while paying for things in shops. Make your call quietly in a corner, then pay. If the phone rings while you are paying, ignore it. You are dealing with the person on the till."

Blaikie also has this advice on the increasing practice of erecting shrines to victims of accidents and crimes. "If you are laying flowers in a public place, remove the plastic wrapping. Return to take away the dead flowers. Permanent shrines are hard on the living, especially if beside roads or near houses. After six months they should be removed."

"People used to greet each other on the street primarily to reassure each other that there was no threat," he says. "People don't do that now here. But in Texas, where everyone carries guns, you'll find that they are all incredibly polite to one another." Edinburgh psychologist Ben Williams, who believes manners are about self-preservation. 

According to author Simon Fanshawe, though, "manners are not necessarily worse than they were, just different". "We have achieved a vast amount of personal freedom since the Second World War," he says. "But in the process, we have become selfish. And too often we have kept quiet about what constitutes good social behaviour, for fear of appearing judgmental. Which of us will challenge the litterbug, the 4x4 driver hogging the road, the commuter screeching into their mobile phone?

"We may have thrown over the old authorities but it seems we do want a new social authority that allows us to live at ease with one other. Manners provide one way of doing that. They are the discipline of an easy life."

Whatever the reason for the poor state of modern manners, Matthew Perren, store manager at Ottakar's bookshop in George Street, says there's a great demand for books on the subject. "I think a generation missed out on being taught about these things. People have got to a stage now where they realise that they don't know what the etiquette is in this or that situation and they want to know."

The final word on good manners goes to Edinburgh psychologist Ben Williams, who believes they are about self-preservation. "People used to greet each other on the street primarily to reassure each other that there was no threat," he says. "People don't do that now here. But in Texas, where everyone carries guns, you'll find that they are all incredibly polite to one another."

Main article from The Scotsman, 2005



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia