Spotlight on Gabriella Kanyok

 

Meet our Contributor in the Spotlight for February 2025, Gabriella Kanyok

Meet Gabriella Kanyok,  a diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert with more than 15 years' experience in working with EU institutes, NGOs, international organizations, and supporting professionals. She not only advises and trains government and EU officials, and businessmen in the field of diplomatic protocol and business etiquette, but she leads the communication department of an international organization. Gabriella holds a Master’s degree in International Studies, and a Master’s in Protocol, Diplomacy and Cross Cultural Relations. She speaks Hungarian, English, French, and Mandarin Chinese.

Below are links to Gabriella Kanyok’s articles on etiquette which you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• Forest Visiting Etiquette
• Social Etiquette and Masked Messaging
• The United Nations’ White Chair
• Black Tie Etiquette
• The Etiquette of Smiles

The following is a Q. & A. with Gabriella:

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business or career involving Etiquette?
About 16 years ago, I recognized a significant gap in the availability of etiquette professionals, particularly in Europe and specifically in Hungary. While working at the European Parliament, I observed how customs varied from one country to another. I realized that if etiquette—both general and international business etiquette—were more widely taught throughout Europe, it could greatly benefit professionals in their daily interactions. Upon my return to Hungary, I served as a protocol officer at the Trade Office of the Embassy of the Republic of The Sudan in Budapest, where I was heavily involved in diplomatic protocol. This experience highlighted the growing need for business etiquette. While I initially focused on advising regarding diplomatic protocol, I took a significant step in 2017 by launching my business, Etiquette.hu, to share my knowledge and expertise in this essential field.

Apart from “White Tie Attire,” “Black Tie” is the most formal of all dress codes. It requires a sophisticated level of dressing. For women, the code typically calls for a floor-length dress or gown. While cocktail dresses can be an appropriate option for Black Tie (when the dress is stipulated as “Black Tie optional”), long dresses tend to be a more elevated choice.

What do you find the most enjoyable about what you do with regard to Etiquette in your work?
During my studies for a second master's degree in diplomatic protocol, I developed a passion for table manners and the art of setting a table beautifully for various meals and occasions. What began as a professional focus has now blossomed into a cherished hobby, allowing me to create diverse table settings and share them on my Instagram page and blog. A beautifully arranged table truly fills my heart with joy.

In addition to this, I find great satisfaction in sharing my knowledge through real-life examples, recounting stories of my own challenges and successes as I navigated my career. It’s rewarding to witness the transformations in others, especially when small adjustments in communication or behavior lead to significant outcomes, such as promotions or perfect dates. I firmly believe that manners are always in style, and etiquette offers personal security by protecting the feelings of others, clarifying communication, enhancing your status at work, and ensuring impactful first impressions.

I find great satisfaction in sharing my knowledge through real-life examples, recounting stories of my own challenges and successes as I navigated my career. It’s rewarding to witness the transformations in others, especially when small adjustments in communication or behavior lead to significant outcomes, such as promotions or perfect dates.

What do you find the most rewarding aspect of your career regarding Etiquette?
The most rewarding aspect of my career in etiquette is the opportunity to witness personal growth and transformation in my clients. I find immense joy in helping individuals improve their professional demeanor, refine their communication skills, and enhance their self-presentation. These changes can lead to significant achievements, such as promotions or meaningful relationships. Additionally, sharing my passion for etiquette through creating beautiful table settings allows me to inspire others to appreciate the finer aspects of social interactions, including the importance of proper dining etiquette and appropriate dress codes. Ultimately, knowing that I can positively impact people's lives by boosting their confidence and social acumen is incredibly fulfilling.

Proper etiquette not only aids in securing jobs and promotions but also fosters strong relationships within the workplace. 

What types of classes or training do you offer, if any? If you don’t offer classes or training, how do you share your expertise?
I offer a range of classes and training programs designed to enhance etiquette in various contexts. In the realm of Business Etiquette, I emphasize the importance of good manners as a vital component for success in today’s competitive environment. Proper etiquette not only aids in securing jobs and promotions but also fosters strong relationships within the workplace. 

For professionals navigating the complexities of international relations, I provide training in Diplomatic Protocol, which focuses on the etiquette essential for diplomacy and state affairs, outlining the correct conduct and procedures in this field. 

My Private Coaching sessions offer personalized, one-on-one training tailored to individual needs, ensuring that participants present themselves with a level of polish and professionalism that stands out. Additionally, my Corporate Training programs equip companies with the necessary tools to instill business and international etiquette in their teams, preparing them for global interactions. Lastly, I delve into the nuances of Table Manners, where mastering international dining etiquette is crucial—especially during job interviews and important meetings—ensuring every gesture reflects confidence and grace.

What age group do you enjoy working with most when it comes to etiquette? And why?
I particularly enjoy teaching adolescents and young adults, especially young professionals, about business etiquette. I feel a strong sense of purpose in guiding them as they embark on their career journeys. The teenage years are a pivotal time to shape daily habits and instill a foundation of good manners and etiquette. With young professionals, I find great satisfaction in witnessing their transformation and the positive outcomes that result from incorporating business etiquette into their everyday lives.

While there are general guidelines that govern etiquette, each of us brings a unique perspective shaped by our diverse career paths. This collective knowledge and experience enriches our understanding and helps us all grow in this ever-evolving field.

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading most?
I greatly admire the works of those established etiquette authors and authorities whose insights resonate with my own values in the field. Additionally, I find the resources available in Etiquipedia to be invaluable. I believe that learning from colleagues in the etiquette community is essential; while there are general guidelines that govern etiquette, each of us brings a unique perspective shaped by our diverse career paths. This collective knowledge and experience enriches our understanding and helps us all grow in this ever-evolving field.

If you would like to reach Gabriella, you can can contact her via her website https://www.etiquette.hu/en/ or find her on Instagram @kgetiquette

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The United Nations' White Chair

 

János Áder, President of Hungary is waiting to speak at the General Assembly. An interesting protocol rule, tradition is established at the General Assembly: a White chair is placed on the podium for the honour of a high dignitary guest. 

A Glimpse into the Protocol of the United Nations' General Assembly

Order of Precedence


Every year during the session of the General Assembly, the seating order between the Member States is changed by drawing a name of a country. That lucky state has the right to precede the other Member States during the General Assembly meetings. The precedence of countries is followed by the designated state in English language, alphabetical order. Member states have to seat the Heads of States or Prime Ministers first, then the Ministers, and then on the last row, their Permanent Representatives.


Official Visits of Dignitaries


When a Head of State or Government visits the Secretary-General, the Chief of Protocol greets the Head of State as he or she alights from his or her vehicle and escorts him or her to the office of the Secretary-General. At the end of the meeting, the Secretary-General will bid farewell to the Head of State or Government. 

Brazilian President Michel Temer addresses the opening of the 73rd General Assembly of the United Nations in 2018. 

The Chief of Protocol escorts the Head of State or Government either to the General Assembly Hall or to another designated area. During the general debate, seats are reserved in the VIP area of the General Assembly Hall for the spouses of the Heads of State or Government, Vice-Presidents, Crown Princes or Princesses participating in the general debate, provided that the Chief of Protocol is notified in advance of their attendance at the Session. (Reference: https://protocol.un.org/dgacm/pls/site.nsf/xpManual.xsp)

When a Head of State or Government speaks on the podium at the General Assembly, he or she always has to be accompanied by the Chief of Protocol of the United Nations, who waits for the high ranking person to finish the speech.

The chair itself had its own wait backstage with a cautionary sign, before the opening of the General Assembly.

The White Chair

An interesting protocol rule, tradition is established at the General Assembly: a White chair is placed on the podium for the honour of a high dignitary guest. When Royalty, Prime Minister, or a President, etc... attends the General Assembly meeting by entering the Assembly, he or she goes — in the company of the Head of Protocol of the United Nations— directly to the podium and sits on the White Chair.


The White Chair, right next to the podium of the U.N. General Assembly in New York City is reserved for world leaders waiting to speak at the annual meeting, which is a very interesting tradition of the UN.

Gabriella Kanyok is a diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert with more than 10 years' experience in working with EU institutes, NGOs, internaionalorganisations, and supporting professionals. She not only advises and trains government- and EU officials, and businessmen in the field of diplomatic protocol and business etiquette, but she leads the communication department of an international organisation. Gabriella holds a Master’s degree in International Studies, and a Master’s in Protocol, Diplomacy and Cross Cultural Relations. She speaks Hungarian, English and French, and is currently learning Mandarin Chinese.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japanese Smile Etiquette

“Even in the Japanese culture, non-verbal expressions use the eyes more than the mouth, which makes it easier for the Japanese to determine if a smile is genuine or fake, smiling is still a way to show respect or to hide what you’re actually feeling. This is also the reason why Japanese emoticons used in texting and chatting on the Internet are often mostly expressed with the eyes than the mouth. - ^_^ - Japanese emoticon to express happiness, main focus on the eyes.” — Diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert Gabriella Kanyok 

Unique to Japan... A Land Where Laughter Has no Relation to Happiness?

File Under “More Unique Things About Japan”  

One English author and academic claims; “Perhaps one of the severest of etiquettes in Japan is that of smiles. When you have lived in that land of smiles, you will learn in time that when you can understand a Japanese smile, you may hope to understand the people. A daughter-in-law must always present a smiling face to her mother-in law; the servant must smile when his mistress dismisses him. But the news of a death must be told with laughter. Laughter is reserved for very special occasions and has no relation to joy. Smiles are used on every occasion to conceal real feelings. They are not always significant of pleasure. 

“No wants has the Japanese.” The same writer continues, “He can live in his clothes without a tent, he can live on rice or offal of the sea, and he is so accustomed to carrying heavy weights and running long distances that he can be his own commissariat and even his own horse.” If the Japanese are somewhat lax in regards their religion, they are at any rate, believers in cleanliness. The writer says: “Personal cleanliness is a virtue which all Japanese servants possess. It is no unusual thing for a Japanese servant to apologize to a mistress for not having had time to bathe more than three times that day.” — Weekly Journal, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Social Etiquette and Masked Messaging

Wearing face masks has become de rigueur Covid-19 etiquette for many around the world. They are being worn for one’s piece of mind, safety and health. But as Gabriella Kanyok explains, they can damage an important part of human communication. — This piece of textile covers half of our face, taking away what we have developed over centuries, our visual cues, which are part of our everyday interactions. By wearing a mask, our communication tool-kit is partially dwindled away. The movement of our lips, our facial expressions remain hidden. Our face as a whole is the gateway, which shows the reality of our feelings and mood, and is the focal point. With a global effort to defeat Covid-19, we have currently lost part of this focal point of that kind of communication, which only increases the distance between us, and slows down communication. These times, I would say, the mask protects us and alienates us at the same time.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Unless you’re wearing a mask, because then no one in the world can see you smiling, so they don’t smile with you, or if they do, you will never know it for sure. We don’t realize how many times we wear a smile a day: when we greet someone, when we express appreciation, when we like something, when we're embarrassed etc... Smiling is particularly important in the human gesture system. A smiling person makes a very positive impression and is extremely attractive. On the other hand, there are many different types of smiles, which are particularly important while interacting with each other.

Nowadays, we wear more often protective masks than our smile. This piece of textile covers half of our face, taking away what we have developed over centuries, our visual cues, which our part of our everyday interactions. By wearing a mask, our communication tool-kit is partially dwindled away. The movement of our lips, our facial expressions remain hidden.

Have you thought about that yet? Yet non-verbal cues play a central role in shaping our relationships, and right now, when we talk to someone, we don’t know how the other person feels, we can’t read his face, we don’t know what his intentions are. The eye is a mirror of the soul… but our eyes alone are not sufficient for the purpose. The movement of our eyebrows carries so many different meanings (confused, angry, surprised etc...), and shouldn’t be taken for granted. 

Our face as a whole is the gateway, which shows the reality of our feelings and mood, and is the focal point. We have currently lost part of this focal point of that kind of communication, which only increases the distance between us, and slows down communication. These times, I would say, the mask protects us and alienates us at the same time.

Furthermore, communication, and human to human interactions are not just transactional exchanges. The aim is to build relationships, and connect with each other, which is challenging these days. If the situation remains for months, then perhaps we need new, socially distanced non-verbal cues, otherwise how could we bring the message across? Will this be the new normal?

We don’t know it yet, but what we surely know is that currently we cannot rely on the non-verbal cues. What we could do is to clarify, and make sure that our messages are going across. 

Gabriella Kanyok is a diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert with more than 10 years' experience in working with EU institutes, NGOs, internaionalorganisations, and supporting professionals. She not only advises and trains government- and EU officials, and businessmen in the field of diplomatic protocol and business etiquette, but she leads the communication department of an international organisation. Gabriella holds a Master’s degree in International Studies, and a Master’s in Protocol, Diplomacy and Cross Cultural Relations. She speaks Hungarian, English and French, and is currently learning Mandarin Chinese.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia