She Wouldn’t Tolerate Etiquette Breach

Georgiana, the most famous Duchess of Devonshire, as portrayed by Kiera Knightly in the period drama, “The Duchess.” – Georgiana was known as “The Electioneering Duchess” due to her insistance on being publicly vocal about her political beliefs. A little more than a hundred years after Georgiana’s death in 1806, the early 20th century Duchess of Devonshire may have been in support of women’s votes, but was clearly in support of good manners in her home.

Women Guests Cry, “Votes!” 

and are Banished 

Duchess of Devonshire Won’t Tolerate Breach of Etiquette

LONDON, June 17.– There was a meeting at Devonshire House today of the Colonial Nursing Association. Princess Henry of Battenberg was present. While Lewis Harcourt, a member of the Cabinet, was speaking, two suffragettes interrupted him with their cry of, “Votes for Women.”

The Duchess of Devonshire reminded the women they were guests in the house and in the circumstance she had no alternative but to request that they withdraw. The women were led from the room.– Chico Record, 1912

🗳Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Edwardian Women's Manners

Have we made our sweet women's voices shrill by overmuch shouting, and in our desire to be dogmatic, ceased to be persuasive? But these are questions one only dares to ask, with the bated breath of a generation hurrying to go to the polls.

According to the London Daily News
English Women Are Losing Manners

Are we losing our manners? Alas, for the answer to that question; we have but to look around us — in a world which has forgotten its manners, if indeed, it ever remembered them! The decay of manners is writ only too large on the face of our up to date life.

The decay of good manners is the tragedy of modern life — and what is the reason? Why are good manners practically extinct? To all such questions there must be an answer — and it is purely worth the seeking, says the London Daily News.

Is it the motor craze that leaves us no time to be polite? "The very word is like a bell" that tolls us back to early Victorian days, when our grandmothers learned etiquette out of prim manuals, and the making of a gentleman was voted the most important part of a liberal education. For our forbears believed that as good old William of Wyckham said it, "Manners makyth man"; how much more do they make woman!

Are "phones" at the bottom of the matter? One has an uneasy suspicion that the telephone has much to answer for in destroying the conversational ideal; "A voice soft, gentle and low, is," the poet assures us, "an excellent thing in woman." But when that same voice cries "Hello! are you there?" it does not "sound her ideal greeting." 

Or is the aeroplaning mania that in responsible for our rough and ready deportment? To came down to "terra firma" — for there must we ultimately alight — is it possible that women's clubs have anything to do with the disappearance of polite ideals? Has the subtle influence of the smoking room, with its "laissez-faire" atmosphere, and abrogation of once revered etiquette, tended to minimize those little courtesies? For there is distinct feeling abroad that it is a waste of time to stand on ceremony with one's neighbor, and a democratic age scoffs at what it deems the airs and graces of a courtlier era. 

Lastly, there is one other suggestion that may be hazarded — though the writer ventures to throw it out with the utmost diffidence, nay, hardly dare she whimper it — even though it be the "silly season." Has the suffrage anything to do with the decay of manners in our midst? Have we made our sweet women's voices shrill by overmuch shouting, and in our desire to be dogmatic, ceased to be persuasive? But these are questions one only dares to ask, with the bated breath of a generation hurrying to go to the polls. — San Francisco Call, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and "Pink Teas"

Many times, suffragettes who were protesting for the right to vote, were arrested, but not always. Photographs were compiled on those women to watch out for, so that they could be spied upon by the police.

What were “Pink Teas?”

Gatherings called "Pink Teas" were held by women at the turn of the century when they needed to meet secretly for discussions of any radical issues, such as women’s voting rights. In the event of any possible, potential confrontations they were able to swiftly turn their conversations to polite discussions about non-controversial and somewhat tame issues, like complimenting one another’s hats, or calmly sipping tea or nibbling on tea sandwiches. Besides, any men who planned to disrupt women’s political meetings were very hesitant to attend an event called "A Pink Tea," so these were just one of many popular strategies.

Miss Manners on Civil Disobedience and Politely Protesting

Protest, like every other human activity, requires etiquette. 

The saddest thing about using rude tactics is that they damage the causes for which they are used. Rather than the targets thinking that they are being shown a way in which the world would be improved, they focus on the immediate way in which they are being mistreated. These people may claim to want to make the world better, their victims conclude, but are actively making it worse.

Miss Manners would think it obvious that in order to persuade people about an issue of justice they had not considered, you must open their minds to your arguments. People who are humiliated shut down and turn defensive.

But when they see orderly picket lines or sit-ins, or hear speeches or read leaflets and articles by people who seem to be well-intentioned and reasonable, they just might stop to think.

“Miss Manners” is Judith Martin of the Washington Post


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia