Social Slobs Have No Manners

Children should understand from an early age that notes of thanks should be written when gifts are sent or given to them. It’s heartbreaking when parents who have attempted to instill good manners in their child, or children, watch them ignore what they have been taught. It’s a shame they won’t discover that good manners can open doors and bring a wealth of opportunities into a young person’s life.

The Parents of a Social Slob

Dear Ann Landers: Our experiences in parenthood lead us to believe that whoever wrote "as the twig is bent..." was a bachelor. We have bent a lot of twigs through the years, but eventually they grew in the direction of their choice once the pressure of bending was released.

Being the parents of children who are social slobs is an embarrassment. We know we aren't the only ones, so perhaps this letter will end up on some refrigerator doors and bulletin boards. Here's the message: 

Dear Friends and Relatives: We know that not one of you who sent gifts for our son's 18th birthday and high school graduation has heard from him. We are deeply ashamed but decided not to nag him about it. We feel it is high time he accepted responsibility for his own thank-you notes. 

In the future, please do not feel obligated to send him a gift. Chastise him or continue your generosity as you wish. Also, if he doesn't RSVP to an invitation, invite someone else and notify him the day before the party that his place has been filled. Stop including him. If he doesn't return your calls, replace him with a more responsive friend and companion. 

We have done what we can to teach this young man decent manners, which are nothing more than consideration for others. When HE can't collect postal insurance without the embarrassment of asking if HIS gift arrived, maybe he will get the message. We are, of course, His Parents

Dear Parents: Thanks for a terrific letter. I applaud every word of it and recommend that others who find themselves in your position follow your example. — By Ann Landers, 1983

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Christmas Gift Etiquette and More

When you have received a gift it is rude to wait for weeks to acknowledge receipt. You should never omit thanking a person simply because you have waited so long you are ashamed to write.

☆Merry Christmas and More American Manners of 1947

1.-DO YOU THINK is January 9th too late to write and thank someone for a Christmas gift?- M. J., El Monte.

When you have received a gift it is rude to wait for weeks to acknowledge receipt. You should never omit thanking a person simply because you have waited so long you are ashamed to write. If you have sent a gift to someone and have received no acknowledgment it is correct to write and inquire if the gift was received. 

2. -HOW DOES ONE go about breaking a dinner engagement? G. F., Glendale,

If you find that some unexpected occurrence prevents you from keeping your dinner engagement, write a cordial note to your hostess at once. If there is no time to write, call the hostess by telephone, or send the note by messenger. One must have a genuine excuse for canceling a dinner invitation.

3. –WHAT ARE SOME don'ts for pedestrians?-E. F. G., Alhambra.

Here are some of the most important DON'TS for pedestrians. 

• Don't cross in front of red light. 

• Don't cross street in middle of block. 

• Don't dart forward after hiding behind a parked car and imagine that an oncoming driver can see you. 

• Don't, as the light changes when you are in the middle of the street, run back to the side from which you came.– By Nell Drake, 1947

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia