Business Manners of 1901

It never costs anything to be polite, yet it is often worth a fortune.

1. Be cheerful, and show proper civility to all with whom you transact business.

2. There are many who have failed in business because they never learned to respect the feelings or opinions of others.

3. Kindness of manners is the best capital to invest in a business, and will bear a higher rate of interest than any other investment.

4. Be accomplished, polite, refined, civil, affable, well-behaved and well-mannered, and you will never lose by it.

5. Manners make the business man, and give him the art of entertaining and pleasing all with whom he has business relations.

6. If you wish to change a man's views in reference to some business transaction or other negotiations, respect his opinions, and he will be respectful and listen to your arguments.

7. There are a thousand easy, engaging little ways, which we may put on in dealing with others, without running any risk of over-doing it. — From “The Busy Man’s Friend”, 1901

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Interviewing Etiquette

“Greet the interviewer with a warm but neutral “How do you do.” Whether to shake hands is up to him. Remain standing until he waves you to a' chair. Your coat goes on another chair or piled neatly beside you, but never on his desk. Smoke only if he offers one or says it’s okay.”

Dollars and Sense Depend on P’s & Q’s

It seems a little crude to come right out and say that etiquette “pays off.” Of course it does; but it's pleasanter to think of it paying off in things like good will and social harmony than in grubby old money. Nonetheless there is one occasion when etiquette's commercial value cannot be denied. We refer to job interviews. 

GROUND RULES

Knowing the ground rules not only quiets palpitations and dries sweaty palms. It often lands the job. The rules include: 

1. Dress well but not wildly well. Employers tend to be serious about their businesses. Flashiness on your part, loud socks or tie, a raffish boutonniere suggests you're not. 

2. Do a grooming countdown before the interview. Shoes shined? Chin smooth? Hair combed? Short of drenching yourself with cologne or plastering your hair with stickum, it’s hard to be too groomed. 

3. Before calling on a prospect make an appointment by phone or letter. Never “drop in” 

4. Be on time. If early, ask the receptionist not to announce you until the exact moment. If unavoidably late, call to explain and if necessary remake the appointment. 

5. Don’t “practice” for the interview by chatting with the receptionist. Sit quietly, read, twiddle your thumbs, but don’t leave the room and don’t have the receptionist call to “remind” the interviewer if he keeps you waiting. 

6. Stand up when anybody approaches to talk. 

7. Greet the interviewer with a warm but neutral, “How do you do.” Whether to shake hands is up to him. Remain standing until he waves you to a chair. Your coat goes on another chair or piled neatly beside you, but never on his desk. Smoke only if he offers a cigarette or says it’s okay. 

8. When he asks about your present or former job, don't go into a tirade about your “skinflint” employer or the miserable hours. Don't volunteer the dreary details of your personal life. Emotion (except possibly enthusiasm) has no place in a job interview. 

9. Let him bring up salary. It’s “future” and “opportunity” you're interested in, not paltry dollars. Not precisely the truth? Nonetheless, it’s the impression you want to give. 

10. Don't interview the interviewer. This is not the time to inquire about coffee breaks, desk space, vacations. Wait until you get the job first. Then ask some lesser deity. 

11. The interview ends when the interviewer ends it. He may look blank; he may thank you for coming in. At any rate, don’t press for an immediate yes or no and don’t ask if you should call tomorrow. Your bargaining power was slight to begin with; overeagerness reduces it to nil. – Don Goodwin, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Workplace

How to Be a Team Player in Today's Workplace

In many company cultures you hear the word "team" often.

“Our team is working to improve the process for . . .” 

“My team will be on-site to begin the project on Tuesday.” 

“Our team presented the Q4 report at the conference.”

But what does it really mean to be part of a team in today's workplace? How do you work as a team player?

Work as a Sport

There is an evolution taking place in work environments today. Lines are being blurred in the segmentation of workers. Managers and Directors are becoming Project Leaders. Offices are now open work spaces and conference rooms have glass walls.

Transparency is key when working as a team.

Each employee - or player - has an assigned role that contributes to the goal of the team. Sounds a little like baseball or football, doesn't it?

By definition, a team player:

• Understands her role and goals at work are very important, but can put them aside to work for a common goal and aim. 
• Helps others succeed and shares credit for successes.
• Wants others to feel confident and notices when it’s time to give someone a compliment.
• Knows and follows the rules.
• Has an encouraging and positive attitude.
• Listens and is friendly. 
• Lends a helping hand. 
• Doesn’t hold anyone back by failing to perform duties.
• Is honest and forthcoming. 
• Is always punctual!

When a company department acts as a team, work doesn't stop - the ball doesn't get dropped - just because one player drops out for a time. It's an effective concept, but how does this relate to etiquette?


The Ultimate Etiquette-ful Person

Mere conventions, mere formal ceremonies, do not indicate good manners. Good manners are the result of an unselfish desire to avoid annoying others and to give pleasure to one’s associates. 

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1912

When you demonstrate and practice etiquette, you place concern for others first in a given situation, while remaining true to yourself. Though carrying through with your assigned roles in a work environment and being polite and courteous is important, it does not qualify you as a team player.

A team player takes on the equivalent of hosting roles. That is, regardless of the role you play, you help create an atmosphere of good will. You greet others, make everyone feel welcome, and are observant when it comes to others' needs. You don’t hesitate to share information and help direct when necessary.

In this sense, members of the team share in leadership. They also:

• Do their jobs in a timely and reliable way. 
• Are constant learners, keeping eyes open for other views and ways things might be accomplished.
• Acknowledge the leadership roles of others.
• Give feedback at appropriate times. 
• Take turns with office responsibilities.
• Appreciate and value differences of personality and working styles of other team members.
• Are attune to the maxim of “live and let live,” never participating in idle gossip and minding other people’s business. 
• Quick to look for and congratulate or affirm their associates on successes.
• Use power words (otherwise known as “magic words”) of proper acknowledgement: “Thank you! … You are welcome. … I’m happy to do it. ... Please forgive a mistake I just made.”
• Volunteer to take on extra roles to help the team out and advance shared goals.

The Advantages of a Team Player

Employers are looking for people who are capable of working in a cooperative environment. This trend is sure to continue as companies shift toward a more "open" work culture.

A productive member of a team earns a good reputation over time. Regardless of the speed at which you advance or succeed in your job, or even move on to other opportunities, the ability to function well in your group will bring positive recognition.

Meet our newest contributor, Candace Smith... A retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Timeless Business Etiquette

“Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office.” – Miss Wava McCullough

Commercial Club sponsors “Etiquette”

Sponsored by the Commerce Club, various articles are to appear in the Corsair from time to time on “Etiquette.” The first article, below, by Miss Wava McCullough, commercial art instructor, is on “Business Etiquette.” Later articles will be on etiquette at games (sportsmanship), etiquette at dances, and etiquette on the campus. 

Business Etiquette  

Making Contacts 

Determine the type of job you want. Talk to your friends. What do they do? Discuss it with your instructors. Do research reading. What kind of a firm do you want to work in? Don't rely on your friends to get you a job. Use business associates for contacts. Use agencies. If you must make a “cold” contact, plan your approach. 

Attitude Is Important 

Don't be a clock-watcher. Try to do more than is asked of you. Make an effort to familiarize yourself with terms needed in office use. Admit mistakes. Think of your job as a stepping-stone to a better job. A job is what you make it. Sit and stagnate or develop it and in so doing advance yourself. You do yourself a favor by making yourself a better-than-average employee. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

You and the Business World 

Appearance gives color to an office. Cleanliness and neatness are more important than expensive clothes. Extreme lines and bright colors are distracting in an office. Wear simple, well-pressed clothes —no bobby socks or excessive jewelry. Give special attention to hair and hands. 

Habits 

Be on time. Gum chewing and nibbling are not allowed. Don't slouch. Avoid mannerisms — hair twisting, and leg winding. Use the office phone in emergency only. Smile, be pleasant. Don't complain. Listen, do not talk too much. 

Policy 

Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office. – The Corsair, 1945

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Business Etiquette Advice

Attitude is important. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

Making Contacts 

Determine the type of job you want. Talk to your friends. What do they do? Discuss it with your instructors. Do research reading. What kind of a firm do you want to work in? Don't rely on your friends to get you a job. Use business associates for contacts. Use agencies. If you must make a "cold" contact, plan your approach. 

Attitude Is Important 

Don't be a clock-watcher. Try to do more than is asked of you. Make an effort to familiarize yourself with terms needed in office use. Admit mistakes. Think of your job as a stepping-stone to a better job. A job is what you make it. Sit and stagnate or develop it and in so doing advance yourself. You do yourself a favor by making yourself a better-than-average employee. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

You and the Business World 

Appearance gives color to an office. Cleanliness and neatness are more important than expensive clothes. Extreme lines and bright colors are distracting in an office. Wear simple, well-pressed clothes —no bobby socks or excessive jewelry. Give special attention to hair and hands. 

Habits 

Be on time. Gum chewing and nibbling are not allowed. Don't slouch. Avoid mannerisms—hair twisting, and leg winding. Use the office phone in emergency only. Smile, be pleasant. Don't complain. Listen, do not talk too much. 

Policy 

Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office. – The Corsair, Volume 17, 1945

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Office Party Etiquette

Remember... You're going to have to go on dealing with these people in a businesslike way ever after!

The Office Party

The office party is supposed to be a time when superiors and subordinates meet socially. Actually the whole institution is loaded with problems. Remember that the salesman on whose shoulder you've poured out your problems, or the typist whose been kissed among the file cabinets, will be back at their desks on Monday, and that you're going to have to go on dealing with these people in a businesslike way ever after. So dress up and have fun, but don't drink beyond the point of discretion (whiskey in paper cups is bound to be treacherous.)

The point of discretion could be defined as the point beyond which you're going to feel mighty foolish facing all those people the next day. Remember, the young man in the shipping department that you've always thought attractive, is still going to be married on Monday. And the girl down the hall that you've always distrusted will be no more discrete with all your personal business than she's always been with other juicy tidbits of gossip. — From "Etiquette" by Frances Benton, 1956

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Moderator and Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Fortunes Made from Good Manners

British statesman, Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield (1694-1733). 

FORTUNES MADE BY PLEASING MANNERS

Pleasing manners have made the fortunes of men in all professions and in every walk of life—of lawyers, doctors, clergymen, merchants, clerks and mechanics—and instances of this are so numerous that they may be recalled by almost any person. The politician who has the advantage of a courteous, graceful and pleasing manner finds himself an easy winner in the race with rival candidates, for every voter with whom he speaks becomes instantly his friend. 

Civility is to a man what beauty is to a woman. It creates an instantaneous impression in his behalf, while gruffness or coarseness excites as quick a prejudice against him. It is an ornament, worth more as a means of winning favor than the finest clothes and jewels ever worn. 

Lord Chesterfield said the art of pleasing is, in truth, the art of rising, of distinguishing one's self, of making a figure and a fortune in the world. Some years ago a drygoods salesman in a London shop had acquired such a reputation for courtesy and exhaustless patience, that it was said to be impossible to provoke from him any expression of irritability, or the smallest symptom of vexation. 

A lady of rank learning of his wonderful equanimity, determined to put it to the test by all the annoyances with which a veteran shop-visitor knows how to tease a shopman. She failed in her attempt to vex or irritate him, and thereupon set him up in business. He rose to eminence in trade, and the main spring of his later, as of his earlier career, was politeness. Hundreds of men, like this salesman, have owed their start in life wholly to their pleasing address and manners.   

CULTIVATION OF GOOD MANNERS 

The cultivation of pleasing, affable manners should be an important part of the education of every person of whatever calling or station in life. Many people think that if they have only the substance, the form is of little consequence. But manners are a compound of spirit and form—spirit acted into form. 

The first law of good manners, which epitomizes all the rest is, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." True courtesy is simply the application of this golden rule to all our social conduct, or, as it has been happily defined, "real kindness, kindly expressed." It may be met in the hut of the Arab, in the courtyard of the Turk, in the hovel of the freedman, and the cottage of the Irishman. 

Even Christian men sometimes fail in courtesy, deeming it a mark of weakness, or neglecting it from mere thoughtlessness. Yet when we find this added to the other virtues of the Christian, it will be noted that his influence for good upon others has been powerfully increased, for it was by this that he obtained access to the hearts of others. An old English writer said reverently of our Saviour: "He was the first true gentleman that ever lived." The influence of many good men would be more than doubled if they could manage to be less stiff and more elastic. 

Gentleness in society, it has been truly said, "is like the silent influence of light which gives color to all nature; it is far more powerful than loudness or force, and far more fruitful. It pushes its way silently and persistently like the tiniest daffodil in spring, which raises the clod and thrusts it aside by the simple persistence of growing."                     

Sir Philip Sidney (1554 –1586) was an English poet, courtier, and soldier. He is remembered today, as one of the most prominent figures of the Elizabethan Age. 

POLITENESS 

Politeness is kindness of manner. This is the outgrowth of kindness of heart, of nobleness, and of courage. But in some persons we find an abundance of courage, nobleness and kindness of heart, without kindness of manner, and we can only think and speak of them as not only impolite, but even rude and gruff. 

Such a man was Dr. Johnson, whose rudeness secured for him the nickname of Ursa Major, and of whom Goldsmith truthfully remarked, "No man alive has a more tender heart; he has nothing of the bear about him but his skin." To acquire that ease and grace of manners which is possessed by and which distinguishes every well-bred person, one must think of others rather than of himself, and study to please them even at his own inconvenience. 

"Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you"—the golden rule of life—is also the law of politeness, and such politeness implies self-sacrifice, many struggles and conflicts. It is an art and tact, rather than an instinct and inspiration. 

An eminent divine has said: "A noble and attractive every-day bearing comes of goodness, of sincerity, of refinement. And these are bred in years, not moments. The principle that rules our life is the sure posture-master. Sir Philip Sidney was the pattern to all England of a perfect gentleman; but then he was the hero that, on the field of Zutphen, pushed away the cup of cold water from his own fevered and parched lips, and held it out to the dying soldier at his side." A Christian by the very conditions of his creed, and the obligations of his faith is, of necessity, in mind and soul—and therefore in word and act—a gentleman, but a man may be polite without being a Christian.

From John H. Young's 1879, “Our Deportment / Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society.”