Edwardian Era Luncheon Etiquette

“Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition…” – Quote from A Member of the Aristocracy

Invitations to Luncheon

A week's notice is the longest usually given, very little notice being considered requisite.

Many hostesses give their friends carte blanche invitations to luncheon; but ladies as a rule seldom avail themselves of this façon de parler, as they consider it, and prefer to await a more direct form of invitation. 

Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition, the reason, perhaps, being that ladies are usually in the majority at luncheon, and also that the unexpected arrival of one or two ladies would call for a greater amount of attention on the part of a hostess seated at luncheon than would the unexpected arrival of gentlemen, ladies requiring especial attention to be shown to them in the matter of a place at table, etc., while gentlemen are ready to offer attention instead of requiring it, and to take any place at table, whether convenient or otherwise.

As a rule, the number of ladies present at luncheon greatly exceeds the number of gentlemen present, unless at a luncheon-party, when a hostess usually endeavours to equalise the numbers as far as possible; but it is not imperative for her to do this, and it is immaterial whether there are as many gentlemen as ladies present at luncheon or not.

Luncheon is a very useful institution to a mistress of a house, as it enables her to show a considerable amount of civility to her friends and acquaintances.

She can invite to luncheon those it might not, for various reasons, be convenient to invite to dinner; as for instance, young ladies, single ladies, elderly ladies, ladies coming to town, or into the neighbourhood for a few days only, and so on.

The usual rule in houses where there are children old enough to do so, is for the children to dine at luncheon with their governess, whether there are guests present or not. —Book of Manners and Rules of Good Society; or, Solecisms to be Avoided, by “A Member of the Aristocracy”

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Candor and Vulnerability

“LOVE is exactly like war in this — that a soldier, though he has escaped three weeks complete on Saturday night may, nevertheless, be shot through his heart on Sunday morning.” — Laurence Sterne

Always Too Young to Boast

“LOVE is exactly like war in this — that a soldier, though he has escaped three weeks complete on Saturday night may, nevertheless, be shot through his heart on Sunday morning.” — Laurence Sterne

Tis not an uncommon thing for those on whom Cupid has spent no arrows to boast that they are invulnerable. They are always too young to make that boast. Too young when the years have bowed their shoulders and powdered their heads. It is no distinction to have escaped.

To be incapable of emotion is so similar to a mummy existence that those who have reached years of maturity and have never been “shot through the heart” have reason to be alarmed about themselves. There is something lacking — sympathy, tenderness, charity, tolerance, hope, faith or the power to dream.

Nothing to Boast Of

Such a one should not boast. It is rather a matter to be regretted and remedied. It indicates a sickness of the most sacred of the emotions. It indicates a lack of ability to love; a coldness that makes love turn away. Neither is it to one's credit to have loved only once.

The heart doesn't die with humiliation at its first mistake. It lives to make another, and another, and that which is sometimes regarded as a “mistake” turns out to be the most beneficial and needful of experiences. The mistake lies in carefully covering one's heart with frost, and then making the boast that it is invulnerable.

There never was a heart so fortified, so watched, so guarded and so closely sentineled that there was not some opening by which love could enter if he chose. Sympathy, pity, pride, vanity, hope, who can say which one will point to a weakness in the fortress?

There is some mode of entry into the hardest heart. If there were not, this would be a dreary place in which to live. So don't boast that time has left your heart whole. Rather regret it, and remedy it while the remedy still lies in your hands. — By Beatrice Fairfax, 1912

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia