Showing posts with label Gilded Age Etiquette from Ward McAllister. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gilded Age Etiquette from Ward McAllister. Show all posts

Thursday, May 9, 2024

Etiquette Enthusiasts? Or Extremists?


Throughout history, there have been those who have taken etiquette to extremes. Ward McAllister (above) was one such social butterfly of the gilded age. We make every attempt to not go to extremes at Etiquipedia. We are etiquette enthusiasts, but we understand custom, culture and respect for others are equally as important to etiquette.

Extreme Enthusiasm for Etiquette

Etiquette enthusiasts are usually supersensitive people. “Good form,” in their eyes, is of paramount importance. Ward McAllister was one of these. The extremes of etiquette enthusiasm and of superficiality usually go hand in hand. Frequently the less a man knows the more enthusiastic is he over the punctilious observance of what is vulgarly known as “good form.”
 
Active, intelligent men are too busy with the serious affairs of life to devote much thought to the etiquette of enthusiasts. Official life demands much etiquette and its observance is then as commendable as is a good dinner, such as is served at the Hotel Florence, to a hungry guest. — San Diego Union and Daily Bee, March 1896


🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Saturday, June 25, 2022

More Criticism of McAllister’s Manners


Nathan Lane as Ward McAllister and Carrie Coon as the fictional Berth Russell in HBO’s “The Gilded Age”

Another small portion of a dismal review of 

Ward McAllister’s book, 

“Society as I Have Found It”


The Paris dressmaker Worth receives an extensive advertisement throughout the pages of “Society As I Have Found It.” The author’s “distinguished” friends– an adjective which he applies indiscriminately to all of his friends, but which is quite superfluous, since we are perfectly aware from his own admissions that he would avoid the acquaintance of anyone who was not distinguished– are invariably described as having been arrayed in magnificent Worth gowns at the entertainments recorded in his book. The impression which he thus endeavors to convey, that the ladies in the foremost ranks of New York society get their dresses from Worth, is likely to create a considerable impression among his feminine readers in the Western and Southern States, and to prove of much pecuniary value to the once famous faiseur in question. 

For there has been a very marked decrease in the latter’s formerly important transatlantic clientele since the American élégante have at length began to realize that his Vogue disappeared with the fall of the Empire, and to discover that his European customers are almost entirely restricted to the wives of Levantine bankers and to the princesses of the stage and of the demi-monde. No leader of fashion in either London, Vienna or St. Petersburg, nor indeed any Parisian élégante, would ever dream of confining the construction and design of her toilette to the somewhat heavy hands of the Gallicized Yorkshire man in the Rue de la Paix, whose questionable and inartistic taste betrays his north-country origin, and who invariably strives to conceal the vulgarity of his coupe by overloading his creations with parvenu magnificence.

Mr. McAllister's readers, especially those who hope to derive from its pages social experience and a knowledge of etiquette, would likewise do well to avoid following too closely “the forms of invitations used by Mr. McAllister.” It is possibly owing to his connection with trade that he has adopted the commercial method of abbreviating words, such as, for instance, “yrs.” for “yours.” Abbreviations infer that the writer does not regard the person whom he is addressing as worthy of the trouble involved by writing out the word in full, and are therefore discourteous.

More over, it is hardly good form to refer in a letter to a “polite” invitation, while the expression “pray present me most kindly to Mrs. I and believe me yours, etc.,” must surely be an Americanism pure and simple, and the use of which is restricted to Mr. McAllister's “swell” friends. For it is certainly never used in Mayfair or Pall Mall. All these lapses, not only of language, but also of ordinary breeding and education, appear trivial, however, when we come to the appalling confusion of pronouns, which he introduces in his attempts to show his readers how to write a note in the third person.

In conclusion, permit me to express the earnest hope that young America will not regard as a model of European fashions, nor Europe consider as an example of American fashion, this feeble imitation of the Calais– not the London– Beau Brummel, whose manners, breeding, education and form are like his Huguenot legs– “very, very groggy.” –
 By an Ex-Diplomatist in the New York Tribune, 1890 


🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Ward McAllister’s Etiquette Questioned

A small portion of a dismal review of Ward McAllister’s book, “Society as I Have Found It”

I can imagine the silent glance of contempt which the cook, if she be worthy of that name, must dart at the man who, while claiming supreme authority and pre-eminence in such matters, is ignorant of the difference between the releve and the piece de resistance of a dinner, who considers that Johannisberg should go with cheese, and who fondly imagines that “les quatres mendiants” – the most bourgeois and vulgar of desserts, only to be found in France at tenth-rate table d'hotes –constitutes a fit conclusion to a dinner-given by himself – which he describes as having been absolutely perfect. – Nathan Lane (as Ward McAllister) with Carrie Coon (as the fictional Bertha Russell), in HBO’s ‘The Gilded Age’

M’allister’s Book – What a Foreigner Says of the Remarkable Production
The “Autocrat of Society” Mercilessly Ridiculed.
His Manners, Breeding, Education and Form, Like His Huguenot Legs, are “Very, Very Groggy”

“… The latter is equally at sea with regard to the Court of the Tuileries; for he declares he landed in France for the first time in 1857, that he was present at the baptism of the Prince Imperial, and that he visited the International Exhibition. The christening of the ill-fated prince in question took place, however, on March 16, 1856, just eighteen months previous to Mr. McAllister's first arrival in Paris, while the International Exhibition to which he refers was held even still earlier, namely, in 1855.

Nor is the pheasant incident above mentioned the only demonstration of Mr. McAllister's imperfect acquaintance with the ethics of the table and of the cuisine; and when I picture him to myself, engaged in what he describes as his principal daily task of commenting to his cook on her performance of the previous day, much in the same manner as Emperor William is accustomed to address “la critique” to his generals at the close of a sham battle. 

I can imagine the silent glance of contempt which the cook, if she be worthy of that name, must dart at the man who, while claiming supreme authority and pre-eminence in such matters, is ignorant of the difference between the releve and the piece de resistance of a dinner, who considers that Johannisberg should go with cheese, and who fondly imagines that “les quatres mendiants” – the most bourgeois and vulgar of desserts, only to be found in France at tenth-rate table d'hotes –constitutes a fit conclusion to a dinner-given by himself – which he describes as having been absolutely perfect.

With regard to wines– a subject to the discussion of which, by the by, Mr. McAllister devotes several chapters of his book– he does not appear to be acquainted with the important operation of chambre-ing red Bordeaux wines. No gourmet of the old world would ever dream of putting his lips to a claret which had not undergone this process– a process so vital to the taste of the wine that none but skilled hands are intrusted with the task. 

He seems likewise to be unaware that there is absolutely no Tokay in the market, and that the wine which he dignifies with that name is but merely a feeble imitation of that nectar of the gods which is served in thimble-sized glasses at the Imperial tables at Vienna-one glass being sufficient to perfume an entire room, and which is so highly prized and so rare that Emperor Francis Joseph's gift of four dozen bottles to Queen Victoria, at the time of her Jubilee, was regarded in Europe as constituting one of the most valuable and magnificent of the thousands of costly presents which she received on that occasion.– By an Ex-Diplomatist in the New York Tribune, 1890


 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia