Thoughts on Etiquette Absurdities

“It was a rule of etiquette in France during the reign of ‘Le Roi Soleil,’ the great Louis XIV, that when the King visited a sick subject the King, too, must lie down in a bed on the ground that it would never do for a subject to maintain a more informal attitude than his master during the audience. Louis XIV visiting the Marshal de Villars after Malplaquet, lay in a bed beside the suffering soldier in that way.

Etiquette… An Old Fashioned Man Frees His Mind About Its Absurdities

“Whether to eat fish with a fish knife and fork or a fork and a bit of bread, whether to serve champagne in a tumbler or a goblet—it is quite absurd to regard one of these courses as right and the other as wrong and to admire or despise a person accordingly. The average rule of etiquette has nothing to do with courtesy, with good breeding, and it is no criterion of courtesy or of good breeding.” The speaker, an old fashioned gentleman from the country, knotted the ends of his napkin more firmly about his neck. ‘‘Smile at me, nephews and nieces,” he resumed, “because I tuck my napkin under my chin. Yet, why should I spoil my black broadcloth coat with turkey stains or smears of cranberry sauce? 

It is a rule of etiquette, you say, that the napkin may only be placed across the knee—an absurd, ephemeral rule! “It was a rule of etiquette in France during the reign of ‘Le Roi Soleil,’ the great Louis XIV, that when the King visited a sick subject the King, too, must lie down in a bed on the ground that it would never do for a subject to maintain a more informal attitude than his master during the audience. Louis XIV visiting the Marshal de Villars after Malplaquet, lay in a bed beside the suffering soldier in that way. Behold the absurdities of etiquette and let me do with my napkin what I please.” —New Orleans Times-Democrat, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Etiquette of Louis XIV

The Sun King's bedchamber at Versailles –The most minutely elaborate character, and governed every movement of the King and those about him from the very moment he opened his august eyes until he closed them in sleep.

Minutely Elaborate Etiquette of Louis XIV

The etiquette which prevailed at Versailles during the reign of Louis XIV was of the most minutely elaborate character, and governed every movement of the King and those about him, from the very moment he opened his august eyes until he closed them in sleep. 

He was the center of the whole. It was a drama daily repeated— the same characters, the same scenes, the same details— oppressive in its sameness, fatiguing in its constant pressure. I have neither the space nor the inclination to dwell on all the extraordinary ceremonial of the State dinner; the twenty or thirty grandees fluttering around the King’s plates and glasses, the sacramental utterances of the occasion: the gaudy procession of the retinue; the arrival of “la nef” — that is, the center piece of plate which contained, between scented cushions, the King's napkins; and pessai des plats— the tasting of each dish by the gentlemen servants and officers of the table before the King partook of it. The same custom was observed with the beverages. It took four persons to serve the King with a glass of wine and water. 

Well, might Frederick the Great, on hearing an account of all this tyranny of etiquette, exclaim that if he were King of France his first edict would be to appoint another King- to hold court in his place— all the year round.  –Scribner's Magazine, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia