Gilded Age Etiquette Service à la Russe

An 1890’s oyster fork in the Shrewsbury pattern looks so much like the depiction drawn in the catalog, it is hard to tell the two apart! Oyster forks can be placed on the right side of the place setting if there are already three forks on the left side of each place setting. – “Oysters are usually at each place when the company assembles, having been kept very cold, on ice and salt, up to the moment of serving. A quarter of a lemon and very thin slices of brown bread, buttered, are the usual concomitants. No person should ever be left without a plate before him, except at the time of the clearing of the table, preparatory to the introduction of the sweet course, this is one of the primary rules of serving.” 

Serving a Dinner à la Russe

To serve à la Russe, which is at once the simplest and most elegant manner when guests are present, it is only necessary to pass the dishes of each course in rotation, beginning alternately at the right and the left of the guest, writes Mrs. Van Koert in the Ladies Home Journal. Some think it more courteous to serve all the ladies first, but it is not now considered a breach of strict etiquette to serve in regular order.

The old French custom required that the dishes, elaborately garnished, and the meats, sometimes stabbed with silver skewers, like crossed swords, should be placed upon the table, before the host and hostess alternately, for a moment, to give the guests an opportunity of admiring them previous to them being carved, but this formality has gone out of fashion even among the French themselves.

Oysters are usually at each place when the company assembles, having been kept very cold, on ice and salt, up to the moment of serving. A quarter of a lemon and very thin slices of brown bread, buttered, are the usual concomitants. No person should ever be left without a plate before him, except at the time of the clearing of the table, preparatory to the introduction of the sweet course, this is one of the primary rules of serving.

Under each oyster plate it is customary to have a dinner plate, upon which also the one containing the soup is placed. A dinner can hardly be served with elegance by less than two persons, although attention to the prescribed rules greatly simplifies the matter. The soup should be served from a side table, a ladleful to each plate. Plates are then carried one by one to their destination. — The Sacramento Daily Union, 1893

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Etiquette and the Introduction of Forks

The earliest forks had only 2 tines. The combination fork and spoon on the far right is called a “Sucket.” Suckets were from the Georgian era and used to eat sticky fruits in syrup and such.

Perhaps the most significant development in culinary art and etiquette came at the beginning of the 17th century with the introduction of the fork into English society. More than anything else, the fork promoted a greater degree of cleanliness at the table: making choicer table linen, more handsome napkin arrangements and finer dining clothes possible for the wealthy. Together, technological advancements in English dining had sparked a cultural revolution. 

People started to define themselves through the artistry of their table settings. Culinary art advanced to higher standards: improving manners by allowing diners to eat “respectably”. New meals and drinking practices were even invented in the 18th Century specifically as occasions in which to demonstrate proper dining etiquette: afternoon tea being, perhaps, the most notable.— From silver groves.co.uk

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Flatware Placement

What’s wrong with this illustration? The cocktail, or oyster fork, on the left makes four forks — there should be no more than three. It would be easy to encroach on the next place setting, and better to place the cocktail fork to the right of the soup spoon. — “Place settings should be orderly and symmetrical, with convenient room on either side for each person’s comfort. The basic minimum place setting in flatware include six pieces: knife, fork, teaspoon, soup spoon, salad fork, and butter knife or spreader.”

Whatever the menu calls for, no more than three forks should be set at the left and three knives and the oyster fork at the right. If more pieces are required, they can be brought in as needed. This will avoid a cluttered appearance. Desert flatware, except at family meals, when it is placed with the rest of the utensils, is brought with the dessert service and finger bowl. The finger bowl is set on the dessert plate, with or without a doily, and the desert fork on the left and the desert spoon on the right.

The diner, following the hostess, should remove the flatware to the table, and place the finger bowl above the fork on the left. Spoons for coffee served with the dessert, come with the service at that time. Otherwise, when this service is set up in another room, to be served at the end of the meal, they are placed on each individual saucer.

The cutting edges of all knife should be turned toward the plate. Lay all flatware one inch from the edge of the table, inline with the service plate and napkin, making a neat, parallel row. The exception would be at a round table; there the row of utensils would start at the table edge, on the outside, but the last piece to be used should be one inch in, and next to the plate. Place them far enough apart for convenience, yet sufficiently close to avoid and untidy or careless appearance.

Place settings should be orderly and symmetrical, with convenient room on either side for each person’s comfort. The basic minimum place setting in flatware include six pieces: knife, fork, teaspoon, soup spoon, salad fork, and butter knife or spreader.— Patricia Easterbrook Roberts, 1960

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Proper Etiquette of the Fork

“In eating, the fork should be used in the right hand, with the tines up—the only time it is used in the left is when it is assisting the knife in the cutting of meat.” — Unless, of course, you have a rare, left-handed fork!
(shown above, placed beside a regular fork)
— Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

The Use of the Fork

Almost all foods are eaten with the fork, even including peas, and other dishes of semi-liquid consistency. In eating, the fork should be used in the right hand, with the tines up—the only time it is used in the left is when it is assisting the knife in the cutting of meat. Use the fork for the cutting of salad and pie or pudding. The knife is only used for meat or the spreading of butter on bread.— Pacific Rural Press, 1916

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Furcifer, Forks and Coryat

Above– A “sucket” fork and spoon combination for eating gingered fruits and sticky foods. “It is true that we have instances of forks even so far back as the pagan Anglo-Saxon period, but they are often found coupled with spoons...” “The dinner was the largest and most ceremonious meal of the day. The hearty character of this meal is remarked by a foreign traveller in England, who published his “Mémoires et Observations” in French in 1698: “Les Anglois,” he tells us, “mangent beaucoup à diner; ils mangent à reprises, et remplissent le sac. Leur souper est leger. Gloutons à midi, fort sobres au soir.” – (The English, eat a lot at dinner; they eat on a regular basis, and fill the bag. Their supper is light. Wolverines at noon, very sober at night.)

In the sixteenth century, dinner still began with the same ceremonious washing of hands as formerly; and there was considerable ostentation in the ewers and basins used for this purpose. This custom was rendered more necessary by the circumstance that at table people of all ranks used their fingers for the purposes to which we now apply a fork. This article was not used in England for the purpose to which it is now applied, until the reign of James I. It is true that we have instances of forks even so far back as the pagan Anglo-Saxon period, but they are often found coupled with spoons, and on considering all the circumstances, I am led to the conviction that they were in no instance used for feeding, but merely for serving, as we still serve salad and other articles, taking them out of basin or dish with a fork and spoon. In fact, to those who have not been taught the use of it, a fork must necessarily be a very awkward and inconvenient instrument. We know that the use of forks came from Italy, the country to which England owed many of the new fashions of the beginning of the seventeenth century. It is curious to read Coryat’s account of the usage of forks at table as he first saw it in that country in the course of his travels. 

“I observed,” says he, “a custome in all those Italian cities and townes through which I passed, that is not used in any other country that I saw in my travels, neither doe I thinke that any other nation of Christendome doth use it, but only Italy. The Italian, and also most strangers that are commorant in Italy, doe alwaies at their meales use a little forke, when they cut their meate. For while with their knife which they hold in one hande they cut the meat out of the dish, they fasten their forke, which they hold in their other hande, upon the same dish, so that whatsoever he be that sitting in the company of any others at meale, should unadvisedly touch the dish of meate with his fingers, from which all at the table do cut, he will give occasion of offence unto the company, as having transgressed the lawes of good manners, insomuch that for his he shall be at the least brow-beaten, if not reprehended in wordes. 

This forme of feeding I understand is generally used in all places of Italy, their forkes being for the most part made of yron or steele, and some of silver, but those are used only by gentlemen. The reason of this their curiosity is, because the Italian cannot by any means indure to have his dish touched with fingers, seeing all men’s fingers are not alike cleane. Hereupon I myself thought good to imitate the Italian fashion by this forked cutting of meate, not only while I was in Italy, but also in Germany, and oftentimes in England since I came home; being once quipped for that frequent using of my forke by a certain learned gentleman, a familiar friend of mine, one Mr. Lawrence Whittaker, who in his merry humour doubted not to call me at table furcifer, only for using a forke at feeding, but for no other cause.” Furcifer, in Latin, it need hardly be observed, meant literally one who carries a fork, but its proper signification was, a villain who deserves the gallows.

The usage of forks thus introduced into England, appears soon to have become common. It is alluded to more than once in Beaumont and Fletcher, and in Ben Jonson, but always as a foreign fashion. In Jonson’s comedy of “The Devil is an Ass,” we have the following dialogue:

Meerc. Have I deserv’d this from you two, for all
My pains at court to get you each a patent?
Gilt. For what?
Meerc. Upon my project o’ the forks.
Sle. Forks? what be they?
Meerc. The laudable use of forks,
Brought into custom here, as they are in Italy,
To th’ sparing o’ napkins.

In fact the new invention rendered the washing of hands no longer so necessary as before, and though it was still continued as a polite form before sitting down to dinner, the practice of washing the hands after dinner appears to have been entirely discontinued.” – A History of Domestic Manners and Sentiments in England, During the Middle Ages, By Thomas Wright, Esq., MA. FSA., 1862 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Of Etiquette, Olives and Sugar Tongs

In the 1600’s, fork and other flatware usage, could show “the difference between a man of the world,” and a man who did not have “the tune of the time.” A sterling combination fork and spoon for serving olives, circa 1880’s, by Gorham. Over the years, forks and combination utensils were only designed for the serving of olives. They were never designed for the eating of olives. 

And the Fork’s Acceptance 
in 17th Century Europe

“It is a piece of refined coarseness to employ the fingers instead of the fork to effect certain operations at the dinner table, and on some other similar occasions. To know how and when to follow the fashion of Eden, and when that of more civilized life, is one of the many points which distinguish a gentleman from one not a gentleman; or rather, in this case, which shows the difference between a man of the world, and one who has not ‘the tune of the time.’ 

Cardinal Richelieu detected an adventurer who passed himself off for a nobleman, by his helping himself to olives with a fork. He might have applied the test to a vast many other things. Yet, on the other hand, a gentleman would lose his reputation, if he were to take up a piece of sugar with his fingers and not with the sugar-tongs.” – The Laws of Etiquette; or, Short Rules and Reflections for Conduct in Society, 1836 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Silverware and Forked Answers

An unusual and highly valuable, antique silver, fish-shaped, Victorian spoon warmer. These were used in very large, drafty estates, to keep the spoons from “downstairs” warm for the meals served “upstairs.” –  “It was here that for the first and last time in his life Mr. Campion made the acquaintance of those silver-plated cornucopias which, in Victorian times, were supplied to the diner filled with hot water, so that he might warm his spoon before partaking of that greasy delicacy called thick soup.” –Marjorie Allingham

Silverware Provides Golden Opportunity for Forked Answers

The secret vice of etiquette is to play guessing games with old pieces of silver. The stranger looking an object say, a combination of writhing bodies with spouts, or tongs and clawed footsies the more fun it is to ask, “And what do you suppose THAT is?” Then, again, perhaps this vice is not entirely secret. Miss Manners has noticed that people who fail to acknowledge the daily toils of etiquette as it strives to make the world bearable in small ways, believe its only function is in connection with peculiar silver. Under etiquette's kindly veneer, they seem to believe, it is really only a system by which people who have the time and money to waste in acquiring funny silverware, endeavor to make those who don't, feel inadequate. 

The object such detractors choose to bolster their slander is usually the humble fork. “I never know what fork to use,” they will brag, as evidence that they are above snobbish games. The fact that the fork is a household mainstay at all levels of society, the use of which can be, and routinely is, mastered by a child of 3, makes it a strange example. Therefore, Miss Manners will now offer some better ones. In the spirit of the parent who says, “Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about,” she suggests that the next time they complain about esoteric items of silver, they choose an example among the following items. Miss Manners has helpfully divided these into two categories and supplied some dubious etymology. 

A. What in the Heck Is That? 

1. Bougie box. This is where you keep your bougie, of course. A bougie is a coil of bleached wax, named after the Algerian town that supplied it, and it sticks out in a taper through the lid of your small, circular bougie box to provide a dim light for whatever dim activities you may wish to engage in. If you don't mind your bougie being uncovered, you can hang it on a wax jack, but it is well known that bougie boxes keep the mice from nibbling your tapers.
2. Monteith. Monteith was a Scot who made great punch and wore a scallop-bottomed coat. His name adorns a punch bowl with a scalloped edge on which you can hang the punch glasses to chill on ice before you make the punch.
3. Argyle. Either the fourth or the fifth Duke of Argyle, depending on whom you believe (Miss Manners doesn't vouch for any of this information), invented his own gravy boat, which has a hot-water compartment for keeping the gravy hot. 
4. Posset or caudle cup. This is a two-handled cup in which you can drink posset (curdled milk with wine or ale, oat cakes and spices) or caudle (wine with spices and sugar and crumbled bread) or, if those lists of ingredients get to you, grab both handles and be sick.  

B. Any Fool Can Understand What It Is, But What Do You Need It For?  

1. Wine wagon. This is a great toy, consisting of a little wheeled wagon that holds two wine bottles, so that you can send it careening down the length of the table at exactly the point when someone with sense ought to remove it and you from the table.
2. Sardine box. Why would you want to keep your sardines in a silver box with pictures of sardines engraved on it, when you can pack them into a can like people on a subway? Because sardines were once very expensive. 
3. Tea caddy. Ditto for tea, which is why lots of tea caddies have locks on them. 
4. Cheese toaster. If you think it's messy to make your toasted cheese sandwiches in the stove, try aiming a silver cheese toaster with a hot water compartment toward the open fire. 
5. Soy frame. This is one form of the cruet, a stand holding bottles of sauces, which is socially on a level with the ketchup-and-mustard stand at your local fast food restaurant.
6. Spoon warmer. You don't mean you've been using cold spoons to serve food with, do you? The spoon warmer contains hot water in which to keep serving-spoons on a buffet table.
7. Salver. This is just a small-footed tray for serving drinks, but Miss Manners likes the idea that it was named for the hope that it would save one's clothes from the dribble. 
8. Epergne. Miss Manners throws this in because its name also refers (in French) to saving. The epergne is a many-armed centerpiece to be filled with fruits, nuts and candy, and its name refers to a direction to the staff to save whatever is left after the guests have finished gobbling. – Miss Manners, 1989

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Dinner à la Russe

An 1890’s oyster fork in the Shrewsbury pattern. Oyster forks can be placed on the right side of the place setting if there are already three forks on the left side of each place setting. – Oysters are usually at each place when the company assembles, having been kept very cold, on ice and salt, up to the moment of serving. A quarter of a lemon and very thin slices of brown bread, buttered, are the usual concomitants. No person should ever be left without a plate before him, except at the time of the clearing of the table, preparatory to the introduction of the sweet course, this is one of the primary rules of serving. 

Dinner is Now Served... à la Russe

To serve à la Russe, which is at once the simplest and most elegant manner when guests are present, it is only necessary to pass the dishes of each course in rotation, beginning alternately at the right and the left of the guest, writes Mrs. Van Koert in the Ladies Home Journal. Some think it more courteous to serve all the ladies first, but it is not now considered a breach of strict etiquette to serve in regular order.

The old French custom required that the dishes, elaborately garnished, and the meats, sometimes stabbed with silver skewers, like crossed swords, should be placed upon the table, before the host and hostess alternately, for a moment, to give the guests an opportunity of admiring them previous to them being carved, but this formality has gone out of fashion even among the French themselves.

Oysters are usually at each place when the company assembles, having been kept very cold, on ice and salt, up to the moment of serving. A quarter of a lemon and very thin slices of brown bread, buttered, are the usual concomitants. No person should ever be left without a plate before him, except at the time of the clearing of the table, preparatory to the introduction of the sweet course, this is one of the primary rules of serving.

Under each oyster plate it is customary to have a dinner plate, upon which also the one containing the soup is placed. A dinner can hardly be served with elegance by less than two persons, although attention to the prescribed rules greatly simplifies the matter. The soup should be served from a side table, a ladleful to each plate. Plates are then carried one by one to their destination. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette from Fingers to Forks

Fingers were once used to perform the office now assigned to forks, in the highest and most refined circles of society. — (Above) A rare "bird set" in the Chantilly pattern.

The Duchess of Beaufort, dining once at Mme. de Guise's with King Henri IV of France, extended one hand to receive His Majesty's salutation, while she dipped the fingers of the other hand into a dish to pick out what was to her taste. This incident happened in the year 1598. It demonstrates that less than three hundred years ago the fingers were still used to perform the office now assigned to forks, in the highest and most refined circles of society. At about this time, in fact, was the turning point when forks began to be used at the table as they are now. 

When we reflect how nice were the ideas of that refined age on all matters of outer decency and behavior, and how strict was the etiquette of the Courts we may well wonder that the fork was so late in coming into use as a table furnishing. The ladies of the Middle Ages and the Renaissance were not less proud of a delicate, well kept hand than those of our own days, and yet they picked the meat from the platter with their slender white fingers, and in them bore it to their mouths. The fact is all the more remarkable, because the form of the fork was familiar enough, and its application to other uses was not uncommon.—J. Von Folke in Popular Science Monthly, via the Press Democrat, 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J.Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Victorian Fork Etiquette and Fashions

Eating olives with proper etiquette was a particular form of art—it was rumored that one imposter nobleman in France in the 1800s was recognized as a fraud by the way he ate his olives. The accused barbarian dared to eat his olives with a regular fork, instead of locating a proper olive fork—one which was designed with tiny, appropriately-sized tines.

Forks come in all shapes and sizes. Specialized designs for flatware exploded in number during the Victorian Era. In a panic to keep up with the latest serveware, aspiring couples accumulated a ridiculous number of pieces of cutlery. It was all a reflection of the culture at the time, which equated abstruse formal dining rules and etiquette with civilized society.

This was especially the case in America, where status wasn't as set in stone as in Europe. In the younger nation, social standing for the upwardly mobile was far more dependent on displays of wealth and class through, among other things, hosting and attending formal dinner parties. As formal dining evolved, so did the demand for increasingly nuanced (and perhaps absurd) silverware, resulting in giant horizontal tongs for asparagus, tiny yard-rake-like implements for spearing whole sardines, and a hybrid knife-fork for convenience in slicing and eating pie.

A late-Victorian variation on original pie forks.

The pie fork, unlike some other Victorian cutlery, can be praised for its usefulness. The left side of the fork features a thick, sharp-edged tine for slicing into pie or tarts, but blunt ends for using the fork to eat the pie as you would a normal fork. – Saveur Magazine, 2016

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Proper Place Setting Etiquette

Correctly drawn diagram of a place setting, with no more than 3 forks on the left. If a 4th fork was to be added on the left, it would replace the cocktail fork, and the cocktail fork would be moved to the right of the place setting, and to the right of the knife. 

In the United States' Colonial period, the only flatware on a dining table was a knife, fork, and possibly a spoon, for each person. With stacked tablecloths, one atop another for each course, explain Wendell and Wes Schollander, in the book Forgotten Elegance, "Part of the reason for this was that the tablecloth was removed after every course. To have a lot of silver and many glasses on the table would have made the removal of the tablecloth too hard.           

The fork is the only utensil that can be found at three sides of a place setting. 

When the change to service à la Russe took place in the 1860s and 1870s, the tablecloth stayed in place throughout the entire meal. In addition, the servants were busy carving and serving food. It now made sense to put out all the silver the diner would need and leave it there throughout the entire meal. The footman had other things to do and less time to hand out silverware. In addition, the mechanization of the production of silverware, together with a drop in the price of silver, meant the host now acquired more silverware. 

 An individual"bird knife and fork" in the Chantilly pattern. The game course could consist of partridge, pheasant, duck, woodcock, snipe or other popular birds eaten in the 1800's. The bird knife was the forerunner of the steak knife we know today, after a serrated edge was added.

There were some practical limits. Clearly if the hostess put out the eight or ten forks one would use at a formal meal, the diners would be too spread out to comfortably talk to each other. Convention quickly settled on three or four forks as the maximum number the hostess could put out so guests could still talk easily to their neighbors. For some twenty years after the Civil War there was disagreement about whether three or four forks were proper.        

The three forks on the left, as set for a formal meal, match with the corresponding knives on the right. This formal dinner setting's menu included a caviar first course, a cream soup second course, a fish course, a dinner course, then a salad course, then dessert. The utensils directly above the plate are always for dessert, (save the salt, pepper, or condiment spoon and possibly a butter spreader.)

In the end, three forks won out – perhaps because the game course became less common. But, because this was a change and an arbitrary number, it was necessary to keep reminding people that they should never put out more than three forks at a table setting." –From the book, "Forgotten Elegance"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Victorian Era Dining Etiquette

“Modern cookery is of such a high degree of excellence, modern table-implements so luxurious and varied, that elegant enjoyment and graceful ease may reasonably ‘be expected of those who gather round a well-appointed table.’”

One of the fundamental rules for graceful carriage is, keep your elbows at your sides, and this rule should dominate the movement of the arms while at table. Its workings are felt rather than seen, but they are nevertheless evident in the graceful methods of those who understand the difference between dining elegantly and merely consuming food.

Modern cookery is of such a high degree of excellence, modern table-implements so luxurious and varied, that elegant enjoyment and graceful ease may reasonably “be expected of those who gather round a well-appointed table.” Even if the general verdict falls a little short of this, the standard is sure to grow toward it. It cannot be otherwise where the desire for improvement exists, and it would be false to assume that there are not many who feel the need and seek the means of improvement. Progress is more quickly noticeable in city than in country life for many reasons, first among them being the necessity for quick and ready adaptation to rapidly moving events.

Although the four-pronged silver fork was in use upon the continent of Europe in the first decade of the present century, it is noticeable that the use of the knife in carrying food to the mouth is by no means obsolete among some of the most advanced of the European nations. One can easily draw a mental picture in which the dogmatists of etiquette a half century ago are seated about a tempting board, all eating with their knives, but using them daintily ; and the retrospect need not go back of the times of those whose manners at table, as well as elsewhere, are defined as models of elegance. 

Since then the steel fork has been banished, the knife subjugated and the spoon subdued. The reason for all this is commonly supposed to be the danger of cutting the lips with the knife, but such danger is very slight, unless one be persistently stupid in handling it. It is much more sensible to assume that mankind was not slow to perceive the more agreeable sensation of putting to the lips the delicate tines of a fork, which were close enough to convey all except liquid edibles with comfort and convenience.
   
Then, too, there are many varieties of food which deteriorate from even the slightest contact with steel, a metal still much in use for knives. There is, however, an inclination to force the use of the fork to the point of affectation, and excess in this direction is quite as deplorable as the indiscriminate use of the knife. The proper use of any table implement at a table where one is a guest is no different from what it would be at the most informal meal, except as it may be influenced by the special preparation of an edible.

In seating one’s self at table a comfortable posture is not incompatible with a dignified attitude. The shoulders should not be thrown back too far, nor should they drop forward. It is the latter pose which produces the inclination of the arms suggestive of the " all elbows" idea which some people give of themselves.

“Of course, the right hand is most frequently used, because it is the best trained for such service; but those who believe it to be an oversight not to train both hands to do our bidding with equal skill are not slaves to the dictum of never raising the fork with the left hand, nor is it supposable that in such a minor matter personal opinion should cause one to relinquish a carefully considered habit or adopt a new one. Etiquette only advises that, if the fork is used in the left hand, it be carried to the mouth with the tines pointing downward.” ~Beautifully stylized oyster forks with one lobster claw fork from a silver catalog

When oysters on the shell are served, at the beginning of a dinner, oyster forks are provided, and in eating such shell-fish the right or left hand may be employed to carry them to the mouth. Of course, the right hand is most frequently used, because it is the best trained for such service; but those who believe it to be an oversight not to train both hands to do our bidding with equal skill are not slaves to the dictum of never raising the fork with the left hand, nor is it supposable that in such a minor matter personal opinion should cause one to relinquish a carefully considered habit or adopt a new one. Etiquette only advises that, if the fork is used in the left hand, it be carried to the mouth with the tines pointing downward. This applies to its use with all kinds of food and to all varieties of forks, but is emphasized here in its application to the oyster fork, because there are many people for whom the smallest blue-points lose their relish if the eyes are forced to rest upon them as they approach the mouth.

Rolls used to be placed in one's napkin, prior to seating the guests, on each guest's plate.

The bread or dinner roll is removed from the napkin on which it is found and placed at the left side, but aside from doing this and placing the napkin the diner does not interfere with the arrangement of the cover until the servant removes the plate. Fingering the glasses, etc., is evidence of a vacuous state of mind.

The servant, if well trained, omits no one in passing such condiments as the various dishes call for, or in replenishing anything of which a first supply may not suffice; consequently, a gentleman's duties in this respect are light, but, trivial as they may be, he should not neglect them.

Even though decanted wines be placed upon the table and the attendant be only a maid, do not offer any kind to a lady until she has finished her soup and do not undertake to assume the duties of the butler, if there be one, in this respect. It is one thing to see that a lady is provided for, and quite another to perform the service in such a way that it interferes with pre-arranged plans.

Soup should be lifted with an outward motion of the spoon and taken from the side of the spoon when possible, and the impossible instances are very rare. A man with a heavy moustache may be excused if he deviates somewhat from this rule, but not until after he has acquired the dexterity necessary to raise his spoon with the end toward him without thrusting his elbow out or making the movement of his arm conspicuous. Such skill can be cultivated, but not so easily as the movement of lifting the spoon sidewise to the mouth. It ought to be unnecessary to add that soup should be taken noiselessly. If the variety served is not agreeable to the palate, let it remain until the servant is ready to remove it.    

An elegant presentation for soup.

It is not good form to refuse soup, even if you do not care for it, it being an easy matter to take up the time of this course with conversation. Indeed, when dinner is served a la Russe, that is, each course placed separately before the diners, it is not judicious to refuse any course unless the list is very long and a menu from which to select is provided. Superabundance in this direction, and the use of the cards as well, are, however, neither fashionable nor refined. No one is obliged to partake of a dish placed before him, and ladies especially are excusable from partaking of richly made dishes and highly seasoned compounds. They may sip their wine and partake of the bread or dinner roll, and if they desire more of this satisfying and healthful food they are entitled to express their desire at the most formal dinner. Their escorts should see that they are provided, and this can best be done by attracting the attention of the waiter in an unostentatious manner. A New Yorker, whose appearance at any dinner, private or public, gives it the cachet of success, and whose delightfully entertaining qualities are recognized both here and abroad, when asked how he preserved his digestion and kept his head clear under pressure of attendance at so many social dinners and formal banquets, replied, "By avoiding made dishes and eating bread while others are partaking of them, and by taking only one variety of wine."

As each course is ended, readiness to have your plate removed may be expressed by placing the knife and fork across it, with the handles to the right, and when the next plate is placed before you, if the knife and fork to be used for the succeeding course be upon it, remove them deftly to the table, placing them at the right side without touching the plate, even though it be the one from which you are to eat.

“Etiquette only advises that, if the fork is used in the left hand, it be carried to the mouth with the tines pointing downward.”

In the use of the knife and fork, daintiness should be cultivated without impairing or interfering with the proper function of either implement. Some varieties of fish do not require the use of the knife, the fork and a piece of bread being sufficient. Others, notably those having many small bones, cannot be properly managed without one, and a small silver knife accompanies their service. Both knife and fork should be held with the handles resting in the palms of the hands when cutting or separating food, but in carrying food to the mouth the handle of the fork should not be kept against the palm, as conveying it in that position gives the effect commonly expressed as “shoveling” the food into the mouth. 

A firm hold upon both knife and fork does not necessitate gripping them as if they were endowed with the ability to fly. It is inelegant to appear busy with both knife and fork all the time. Such foods as require special preparation upon the plate may be prepared neatly and quickly before beginning to eat them, and while it is not desirable to cut one's portion of roast in small bits, as for a child, it may be divided into morsels as wanted without appearing to be incessantly sawing upon it. Whoever is given to "loading up'' a fork or holding upon it a quantity of food pending its deposit in the mouth, had best dine by himself until such gaucheries are overcome.

Eating and drinking at the same time are reprehensible for more than one good reason; but the fact that the practice is contrary to good manners condemns it sufficiently in the minds of the well-bred. Hurry, the bane of our epoch and the foe of self-possession, has implanted the tendency to do everything in the shortest possible time, and the habit of hurrying clings after the necessity has sped. There should be no evidence of haste at a dinner-party, and even the suggestion of it should be guarded against. 

The napkin should be touched to the lips in the interval between partaking of greasy food and drinking; otherwise the rim of the glass will not be inviting to look upon. In eating or drinking, the fork, spoon, glass, or cup is carried to the mouth, but not beyond the lips. Throwing the head far back, thrusting the spoon or fork far into the mouth, turning the bowl of the spoon over in the mouth, draining the glass, emptying it at a single draught, or reversing it so that the stem is inverted, are not merely sins against the social gods — they are coarse and repulsive habits, which should be cured as speedily as possible.

“Crumbing” the table before dessert

It was a pleasing and proper acknowledgment when an invitation to one's table signified the most sacred form of social hospitality, but though an invitation to dine still suggests a desire for some degree of social intimacy, the giving of dinners has grown to be more of a formality since that time.

No more nonsensical statement could be made than that everything eatable should be carried to the lips with a fork. The spoon is the proper medium for conveying many varieties of semi-liquid foods; but methods of preparing certain foods differ according to locality, and to this difference is attributable much of the misunderstanding existing between the use of the fork and spoon. Tomatoes cooked without anything to absorb their liquid contain but little pulp which can be eaten with a spoon, but the delicious manner of thus preparing them, which prevails throughout New England, more than counterbalances the satisfaction that the remnant of solid matter conveyed to the mouth upon a fork would bestow; and those to whom the preparation is agreeable would merely proclaim themselves ridiculously automatic in their ideas by attempting to eat them without the aid of a spoon. On the other hand the same vegetable, prepared so that but little moisture remains, is as easily lifted upon the fork as mashed potato. We have made an every-day selection to illustrate this point, but the rule applies as practically to the daintiest viand that rejoices in a French name, and should be as faithfully adhered to at the table of a king as at the humblest board.

Many people, believing it bad manners to ask for anything not provided by their hosts, inconvenience themselves by refraining from asking for anything which the table equipment does not include. There is, however, no reason why a spoon or any similar implement should not be asked for, if needed; but never on any account should a person signal conspicuously to the waiter nor address him as " waiter." In a restaurant you may ask the usher to send a waiter to you if the service is slow or the attendant negligent, but not even in this public place does a well-bred man call out “waiter,” and he who commits such a blunder beneath a private roof might as well hope for future canonization as for present social success.

Primus, a dinner party pre-supposes enjoyment of the viands; secundus, it does not require that a guest shall express his pleasure by waving his napkin, gesticulating with his knife, fork, or spoon, or talking while his mouth is full of food. Fleeting as is time, there is enough of it for all things, and when conversation is in order, let eating be suspended. Exciting topics may be banished without excluding those which have an exhilarating interest. – By Eliza Lavin, 1889

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institure of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Forks for Gilded Age Etiquette

"The safest rule to remember about forks is that, for everything which may possibly be eaten with a fork or cut with a fork, a fork is to be preferred to any other piece of silver."

"Forks, we are told, did not become common until the time of Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth. The earliest known paragon of perfect manners, the Prioress in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, very evidently had never seen a fork. Instead, she is featured by Chaucer because 'well she could carry a morsel and well keep, that no drop fell upon her breast.' But, if forks were slow in coming into popularity, they have certainly arrived and are now the most important part of table service next to the actual food itself. 

An 1894 design for a pickle fork.  Many foods were still commonly home pickled at the time, as "tinned," or canned, foods remained quite expensive. Pickled carrots, asparagus, snap peas, a variety of fruits, eggs, etc... were still served regularly at the table.

A selection of oyster, lobster claw and fruit forks from the 1890s.

1. The safest rule to remember about forks is that, for everything which may possibly be eaten with a fork or cut with a fork, a fork is to be preferred to any other piece of silver. If it proves quite impossible to get the food safely on the fork without assistance of some sort, one may use a small piece of bread or roll or cracker in the left hand as a 'push bread.'" From Etiquette, Jr., by Mary E. Clark and Margery Closey Quigley 1926, Drawing by Erick Berry

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  1873 design for fruit forks ~ The inverted "umbrella was presumably to catch fruit or fruit juice, that could possibly escape while one ate.  Below is the ornate design for a handle for forks or other utensils.
  
  

  
  

  
  Below is another design from 1893. It is a "knork" or knife/fork combination utensil, designed to eat pie more easily.
  

  
  

                

  
  

       Below is another, more interesting tined pie fork, from 1897.

  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  

Compiled by contributor, and Etiquipedia site editor, Maura Graber, who has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over 30 years, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows. Maura was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years, and has an odd love of strange and unique dining utensils.  

2009 State of British Table Manners

British table manners in a plate of crisis as fewer households fork out for knives  

USING a knife and fork at the table was regarded as an essential component of dining etiquette – as crucial as not eating with your mouth open. But research suggests the cutlery double act is being split up as sales figures show forks outselling matching knives by almost two to one. It seems using a knife and fork is rapidly becoming a thing of the past, as British families emulate the American “fork-only” dining habit, according to a new report.

“What do you mean you won't be using your knife and fork together?  And what do the Yanks have to do with it anyway!?”

British dining etiquette is disappearing thanks to the soaring popularity of the US-style eating habits, a slump in dining out and supermarket ready meals.  The report says that the increasing popularity of pre-cut pizzas, chips, burgers and pasta – all dishes where a knife is not required – is to blame. 

Read Tanya Thompson's analysis here: 

The US-style trend emerged after Debenhams' sale figures revealed that large, main meal forks were outselling their matching knives by almost two to one across the retailer's 155 UK stores.  Further investigation revealed that London stores were spearheading the trend, with customers buying almost three forks to every knife.

So great is the trend that the department store chain Debenhams has decided to launch a Civilised Dining campaign to protect the traditional British way of eating.  Debenhams' spokesman Ed Watson said the store's research revealed that the popularity of fast food is the biggest culprit for abandoning traditional etiquette.

“Bad table manners can turn an enjoyable meal into an embarrassment.”

“Bad table manners can turn an enjoyable meal into an embarrassment. Using both a knife and a fork to eat has held this country in good stead for centuries – it's one of the mainstays of being British. It's all about maintaining standards, so we want to act now before the single fork habit becomes ingrained in the next generation.”

Further research showed that almost 32 per cent of customers bought fewer knives because they now preferred to use forks on their own.

An additional 24 per cent were baffled by place settings and almost 28 per cent did not possess fish knives, and could see no reason for buying them.

“I'm sorry. You mean there is a difference between spoons?”

Nineteen per cent could not tell the difference between soup spoons and dessert spoons and 41 per cent did not realise that the safest and most well-mannered way to eat soup was to push the spoon away from you as you ate.

Debrett's etiquette adviser Jo Bryant said good table manners should be second nature – or should appear to be. “When dining, it is essential to remember your manners and to use cutlery correctly. Bad table manners may offend your fellow diners and cause embarrassment.”

The research suggested the popularity of eating food in front of the television may also be having an impact.  “Burgers seldom require the use of a knife, and ready meals are presented using pre-cut, bite-size portions, which slip easily on to a fork,” Mr Watson added. “Good table etiquette may seem like a trivial matter, but many people in Britain still regard it as an essential life skill.”

As part of the campaign, experts will be on hand from next month to offer advice on the correct form of dining etiquette to help customers at stores throughout the UK. 

From The Scotsman

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia