Etiquette for Victoria’s Drawing Room

Above, a dress featuring the “en coeur neckline.” Good luck in getting that doctor’s note!  — “... from some remarks which we have lately heard, people do not seem to be aware that bodices cut either square, or en coeur, are not considered full dress, and that ladies presenting themselves at a drawing room so attired, will be denied admission, unless provided with a special permission from the Lord Chamberlain’s office, to obtain which a doctor’s certificate of the impossibility of the lady in question wearing a low dress with safety, is imperatively necessary.”
— Photo source, Pinterest 

The drawing-rooms for the season will soon be announced, says the ‘London Queen,’ and those who have never yet attended one, but propose doing so, may be glad of a few hints on the etiquette of the occasion. It is whispered, whether on good authority or not, we cannot say, that, in consequence of the crowded state of the drawing-room held after Easter last season, more receptions are to be held this year. Usually there are three drawing-rooms— two before Easter and one after. It is curious that people who really ought to know better, will continue to talk of the birthday drawing-room, the fact being that no such reception has been held since the lamentable death of the Prince Consort. At the birthday drawing-room, no presentations could take place, and no one could appear in mourning ; those who attended it were supposed to be desirous of congratulating the Sovereign on the auspicious occasion. All the drawing-rooms now held, are presentation drawing-rooms, and it is with the etiquette ot these that we are principally concerned.


Presentation


The lady wishing to be presented must first find a lady willing to present her, and also to attend the drawing room at which she wishes to be presented, for although it is by no means necessary that the two ladies should pass at the same time, or even that they should meet, it is absolutely de rigueur that a lady who presents another should attend the drawing-room. This preliminary being arranged, the presenter gives her friend a note addressed to the Lord Chamberlain, adding her intention of attending a certain drawing-room and of presenting Mrs. Jones. This note, Mrs. Jones leaves at the Lord Chamberlain’s office, at least two clear days before the drawing-room, accompanied by a large card on which is legibly written, “Mrs. Jones, presented by Lady Brown;” or, “Mrs. Jones, presented on her marriage by Lady Brown.” From the Lord Chamberlain’s office she receives, an application, two pink presentation cards, on which “Presentation” is marked in large letters. These she takes to the palace with her, giving one to the page in waiting at the corridor at the top of the grand staircase, and reserving the other to be given at the door of the presence chamber, where it is handed from one official to another till it reaches tbe Lord Chamberlain, who announces the name to the Queen. Care should be taken by the lady to write her own name and also that of the lady presenting her, very legibly, so that there may be no danger of mistakes. In the case of the presentation of a bride, it is usual for her to be presented by her husband’s mother, sister, or some other member of his family, if possible and convenient ; but this is a matter of taste, not of necessity.


On Presentation Dresses


Presentation dresses for brides and young girls should be entirely white, no further color being allowable than blush roses or apple blossoms ; but this rule is not arbitrary for more elderly ladies, indeed, it would look rather absurd in the case of a mother who is herself presented, and then presents her daughters on the same occasion. One word here as to the feathers, which form an essential part of the court-dress. A fashion has been gaining ground of late years, of having these plumes to match the color of the toilet, and they are certainly very pretty and far more becoming than the orthodox white feathers, which are somewhat trying to any but the most delicate complexions. Still, we are able to say on excellent authority, that these colored plumes are regarded with much disfavor in the very biggest quarters, where they are considered as a departure from the strict etiquette of court costumes, which imperatively demand white feathers. Also, from some remarks which we have lately heard, people do not seem to be aware that bodices cut either square, or en coeur, are not considered full dress, and that ladies presenting themselves at a drawing room so attired, will be denied admission, unless provided with a special permission from the Lord Chamberlain’s office, to obtain which a doctor’s certificate of the impossibility of the lady in question wearing a low dress with safety, is imperatively necessary.


On Entering the Palace


Ladies cross the ball to a large cloak room, where all wraps are deposited, and then, ascending the staircase and passing along the couridor, enter the ball-room, which is the first of the suite of reception rooms. The room nearest to the presence chamber is reserved for those having the privilege of the entree, such as the diplomatic corps, members of the present and former governments, the great Officers of State, members of the household, Queen's aids-de-camp, and others. As each room fills, the doors are closed by a bar, presided over by two of the gentle-men-at-arms, so as to prevent undue crowding; and as each apartment empties those in the next room are admitted to it. The last room is separated from the present chamber by the width of the picture gallery, and while crossing this, the ladies’ trains are spread out by the attendants in waiting. If her Majesty is present, the lady about to be presented should take off her right-handed glove before reaching the presence chamber, as it is on that hand that her Majesty places hers, for the lady to kiss.


On Peeress or Peer’s Daughter


Her Majesty kisses her on the cheek. If the Queen is not present there is no kissing on hands. In either case, a low courtesy must be made to each member of the Royal family present as the lady passes. To do this gracefully requires some dexterity, as very little time is allowed, and the train is taken up and thrown over the arm almost before the requisite number of reverences are completed.— Telegraphic Sparks, 1875

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia