“Etiquette and Manners” at Program

Dr. Aydelott spoke of the different kinds of “Men of the Hour” throughout all ages. In the early age he was a cave man. From that time on until the present each age claimed a type to be copied by the general populace. But now the man of the hour must be a gentleman, a real gentleman, not the mamby pamby sort that often pose as such. He had no use for the invertebrate ass who promenaded the street with his monocle and cigarette, a pattern of etiquette, but with no moral fiber in him. 

CHAUTAUQUA IS AUSPICIOUSLY LAUNCHED

Program of Varied Nature at Chautauqua Tent Last Night Wins Rounds of Applause; Expectations Exceeded

One of the many subjects spoken on was, “The Man of the Hour.” : 

This was the subject a Dr. Aydelott used. He began by mentioning the different kinds of “Men of the Hour” throughout all ages. In the early age he was a cave man. From that time on until the present each age claimed a type to be copied by the general populace. But now the man of the hour must be a gentleman, a real gentleman, not the mamby pamby sort that often pose as such. He had no use for the invertebrate ass who promenaded the street with his monocle and cigarette, a pattern of etiquette, but with no moral fiber in him. 

Dr. Aydelotte’s lecture had the strain of truth and sincerity throughout. He drew many clever and humorous comparisons during the course of his talk. He had the utmost contempt for “the measly old mises, whose wizeneo, dried up soul could be put into a peanut shell and then rattle about like a grain of Kansas mustard seed. Still he bad the utmost regard for the hale and hearty fat people. He thoroughly believed in the “survival of the fattest.” 

“There is a big difference,” he said, “between etiquette and good manners. Parents should learn the distinction and dedicate their home to good manners.  The Man of the Hour must have a heart as well as a brain." Dr. Aydelotte then spoke of the “Big Brotherhood Movement” in New York. This organization has taken hold of over by 3000 boys, out of which 97 per cent have made good. When one man goes down he always takes others with him, and when he rises up he generally helps someone else up. 

Mr. Aydelotte mentioned the fact that he would rather have a boy grasp his hand and say, “You made me what I am.” than to own all of John D. Rockefeller's millions. The language of the human heart is as old as toe beginning of the world, and that is what helps young men to rise. With startling abruptness Dr. Aydelott asked several questions of the audience, based on a brief personal observation of San Luis Obispo. He wanted to know if the schools were adequate. Several in the audience answered “no,” and he replied he thought no. 

He also wanted to know if the city had any place for boys to spend their evenings besides saloons and pool parlors. Another suggestion was that something should be done to preserve the old Mission, as it is a historical landmark that should be cared for. He didn’t want to criticise, he said, but merely warned to help. Speaking of Chautauqua, he reminded the audience that the total cost was only about as much as the price of a good automobile. There are always people willing to discourage home movements, but every successful town is built on something besides wealth. 

He next told of a sick boy in a hospital who had admired Walter Johnson, the baseball star. Mr. Johnson heard of the boy’s illness and sent him a baseball he had used that day, together with a personal note. From that time on the boy continued to improve. It was a lesson that some boy or girl is always watching us and waiting to copy, whether it be for good or bad. Dr. Aydelott closed by saying that storms make men. When a man does his task and does it well, that man is great. After the lecture nearly half the audience waited to shake hands with Dr. Aydelott. – San Luis Obispo Daily Telegram, 1916

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Good Manners Help Make a Home

“Have your home, every-day table, just as attractive as the one to which you invite your honored guest. It pays to exert one’s self for one’s family.” 

Courtesy Toward One’s Own Household

One thing do remember, to have your home, every-day table, just as attractive as the one to which you invite your honored guest. It pays to exert one’s self for one’s family. They never lose sight of it. Ten to one if the honored guest, tired with social courtesies, will not forget you in a day or only remember your little affair as a debt to be paid back some time. We do not under-estimate the duty of hospitality, but we do think we are more likely to err in the lack of courtesy toward our own households. Be hospitable to them, we pray, thereby some of you may entertain angels unawares.– Daily Alta, 1886

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Fascinating with Exquisite Manners

There is no place for practicing manners like the home circle, no place, permit one to say, where it will be so appreciated, it will be a cultivation of heart, mind and body, this endeavor to feel nothing out affection for the people at home and treat them as though they were worthy of as much consideration at your hands as if they were the President and his family.

The Secret of Fascinating

Doubtless thousands of young people, and not a small number of old ones, wish every day of their lives that they could learn the secret of fascinating others by means of their graceful, exquisite manners. The secret is an open one. It is so easy to learn that it lies all neglected by the wayside, while those who would give their dearest treasure to find it, pass unknowing. 

It is only this: Fill your heart with goodwill to everybody, and then practice at all times the best manners you know, particularly at home. If you begin at home, this charming manner will, so to speak, get settled on you and never leave you. Be just as polite to your sister as you would to your best girl. Strive to gain the good will of mother, father and brothers and sisters and children, exactly as you would strive to gain good will abroad. 

There is no place for practicing manners like the home circle, no place, permit one to say, where it will be so appreciated, it will be a cultivation of heart, mind and body, this endeavor to feel nothing out affection for the people at home and treat them as though they were worthy of as much consideration at your hands as if they were the President and his family. So they are worthy. Then from the home will float around you, those sweet, magnetic influences which will draw the hearts of mankind toward you. - Sacramento Daily Union, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Bad Manners Caused Divorce

So Gigi's aunt was correct?
“Bad table manners, my dear Gigi, have broken up more households than infidelity.” ~ Aunt Alicia instructing Gigi in proper dining etiquette.

Base of Divorce is Lack of Etiquette 

Mental cruelty caused by table manners, free and unrestrained, and a habit of calling names not recognized in books on etiquette, constituted the grounds on which an interlocutory decree of divorce was granted in Judge Shields' court yesterday to Mrs. Marie F. Crawshaw from John V. Crawshaw. 

Mrs. Crawshaw informed the court that her husband made various noises at table while engaged in gustatory exercises that were not exactly tolerated among the socially elect, in addition to a directness in the manner of addressing her that was not agreeable. 

Their two minor children were given to the mother, and defendant was ordered to pay $30.00 per month for their support. Crawshaw is a yardman in the employ of the Shell Oil company. The family home is in North Sacramento. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1919

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Neglected Etiquette in Homes

When the children are small they take father and mother as the example to follow, and what they see in the impressionable age is what they will copy as the correct line of conduct in later years

A Woman's Viewpoint in 1913, 
of  
What to Do and How 

Perhaps the most neglected feature in the whole curriculm of etiquette is the courtesy due our own home folks. The saying that “familiarity breeds contempt” is exemplified in too many American homes by the manners of the inmates —one toward another. The parents are largely responsible. 

When the children are small they take father and mother as the example to follow, and what they see in the impressionable age is what they will copy as the correct line of conduct in later years. It therefore behooves father and mother to exert toward each other the same gracious courtesy and consideration that marked their honeymoon days. 

When the growing son sees his father retain his seat when mother enters the room, he will follow suit and never think of rising and offering a chair to mother or sisters. If father permits his wife to wait on him at table, seeing that he is served first and letting her own meal grow cold in order that the appetite of the head of the family may be quickly appeased, the boy will feel that he, too, being a male animal, should be accorded the same deference. 

On the other hand, the wife who fails in graciously acknowledging, by a word or a smile, the little courtesies of her husband, is setting an example of bad manners and selfishness to the daughter, who will feel that it is only her due to be waited on by the opposite sex. A good plan is to keep the same set of manners for the home as prevail outside of it.— From "The Hostess," in the Sacramento Union, 1913

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