New Fashions in Table Manners of 1919

Many a debutante and “rising young man” invited to his or her first dinner party has tossed on a midnight pillow, and raptly consulted some “What To Do Book” in an agony over the proper way with asparagus! And once asparagus was to be approached only with a fork - but nowadays it may be daintily lifted with the fingers! Fashions have changed! – Above, antique French ivory handled and silver Victorian asparagus tongs.

Even etiquette has its changing fashions!

Many a debutante and “rising young man” invited to his or her first dinner party has tossed on a midnight pillow, and raptly consulted some “What To Do Book” in an agony over the proper way with asparagus! And once asparagus was to be approached only with a fork - but nowadays it may be daintily lifted with the fingers! Fashions have changed!

The tendency is ever toward simplicity, with Dame Curtsey’s frown upon display and elaboration in service and absurd restrictions in behavior and the general rule is simplicity and inconspicuous behavior.

There are a few main, points in table etiquette which should be observed by every well-bred and self-respecting individual or family group: In family life, where there are very small children whose meals require special time and attention it is wisę to serve their meals away from the general table, and previous to the adult family's meal. This custom provides that the mother may give special attention to their proper feeding, and may supervise their table manners, and later. may enjoy her own meal, and normal conversation with guests and family uninterrupted by the demands of children.

Children of 10 or 12 years should be permitted to eat at the general table to obtain training in good manners, and begin to take their place in the social life of the family group. then the boys, and the father serves himself last.

When guests are present they should be served first, or if the meal is semi-informal the hostess should be served first, and should set the pace for the guests in the choice of silver, and the use of the table equipment of foods, thus sparing the guests embarrassment.

For large formal dinners the hostess and guest of honor are served first, and then the guests on one side of the table are served before serving on the other side is begun. This is more practical than serving all the ladies first.

The fork is the table implement which is used for conveying food to the mouth elther as a spear, shovel or pick. It is used as a spear when employed to hold food on the plate while it is cut with the knife, in such case hold the fork with the top end resting in the palm of the hand, the tines downward, and the forefinger resting on the waist of the fork to steady In carrying the food to the mouth keep the food on the tips of the tines, and the hand uppermost in eating. 

Using the fork as a shovel turn the tines upward, and take small portions of food into the bowl of the fork, resting the handle on the hand and holding the fork tween the thumb and first finger.

Use the knife only when required for cutting meat or vegetables, and to spread bits of bread with butter. When not in use lay the knife flat across one side of the plate.

Should the plate be returned to server for a second helping, place both knife and fork side by side on the plate and send with the plate. When the plate is cleared place knife and fork close together upon it, the knife at the right and the fork at the left.

The spoon is used only for stirring liquids or serving soft food from plate or dish to the mouth. Never allow the spoon to remain in a cup or dish after all have been served. It endangers spilling. In drinking any beverage use the spoon to stir and test the temperature and flavor, then lay the spoon on the saucer and sip quietly from the cup.

Take soup from the side of the spoon.

In drinking from a water glass always wipe the lips before drinking to avoid leaving a greasy impress on the rim of the glass. – By Biddy Bye, 1919

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Asparagus Etiquette and History

Asparagus “was a favorite of French King Louis XIV, who reintroduced the vegetable to European tables after years of neglect.” — Above: An assortment of asparagus servers and serving tongs, including the French designed and made, gilded flat server and the large filigree tongs in the top middle of the photo. Also, shown on the bottom right, is a pair of American made, individual asparagus tongs to be used instead of one’s fingers. These individual tongs would have been part of each guest’s place setting from the Gilded Age to the 1930’s.

Asparagus is related to the lily, and like the flower it has come to symbolize spring to many a vegophile.

This being the end of its March-to-June growing season, it's still plentiful in the stores right now. And although it is available all year- round although imported and at - a high price nothing beats its - taste when cooked fresh.

There are two kinds of asparagus— white and green. The white variety is much more a delicacy and gets its pale color because it is picked just as the tips break the soil, it was a favorite of French King Louis XIV, who reintroduced the vegetable to European tables after years of neglect.

Asparagus is a treat, and one of the reasons is that it is finger food. Guardians of etiquette have given asparagus a special dispensation when it comes to knives and forks. Only the tips need be speared by a fork, but the correct way is to lift the spear to your mouth and chomp down of course doing your best to avoid getting vinaigrette or hollandaise sauce on your clothes. — By Orlando Ramirez, Copley News Service, 1994

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia